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Shopping: those who like it and those who don't

Aziraphale

Veteran

I've never particularly liked shopping, although I do adore the excitement of having a new garment to wear. I think the reason is this: things often don't fit. Shopping therefore feels like a disappointing exercise in How My Body Is Inadequate. This is silly, of course, because it's plainly obvious that we come in all shapes and sizes, and none of us is inadequate. I know they make things to fit the "average". And I'm actually comfortable with my body. But the simple fact of the matter is that I'm petite, so many of the items I like on the mannequin are not going to look right on me. Shopping the petite section is an option, but lots of shops don't have one, and those that do often have a very limited selection. I try on many, many things are only occasionally find something that I like on me. It's a tedious process.

How many others feel this way? Or do most people enjoy shopping?

Shopping

36 replies

Latest reply was from Aziraphale

Minnie

I do 99.9% of my shopping online.
The only time I set foot in a store is if I need something right that minute.
I'm 5'10" and many items (especially dresses) are too short. Online gives me the option to see how long it is on the model who is usually around my height. Many sites give the model's measurements, which I find very helpful.
Many sites have free shipping both ways, so if it doesn't fit or I don't like it, I can easily return the items.
Online also has a much bigger selection.
I dislike that most stores have their items organized by designer instead of by item type. If I'm after a simple black pencil skirt, I don't want to have to check every designer's section separately. Online, I can do the search function and narrow it down to manageable proportions.

I don't like traditional, in -store, shopping at all

Sisi

Veteran

As I have already said in my last post (Difficulties in shopping) "once upon a time" I liked shopping. Because it was easy and full of satisfactions. First of all I was very thin and everything would fit without problems. Second, in my opinion the fashion was more flattering years ago. Now I have some fit issues ( I have put on some weight) and I find today's fashion disappointing in general. I have lost the enthusiasm of going shopping and this makes me rather sad.

Time ago it was "Oh, yay, I have to go look for a dress!". Now it is "Oh, darn, I have to to go look for a dress but I already know I will not find anything and will come home tired and mad".

Just curious Aziraphale, how "petite" are you?

Anonymous

I'm conflicted. I do lots of looking around in stores, mainly because I'm out and about with my job anyways, but also because I do like seeing what is going on in my usual stores. But when it comes to a specific search for something - I hate shopping. It's frustrating, tiring, tedious and generally disheartening, for the same reasons you mention. I don't fit everything and anything the way I used to, and I actively dislike trying on things in stores unless I have unlimited time on my hands (and who does?) . It's tough to throw off the constant negative feelings that come up when trying on clothes, which is why I rarely, if ever, do it. I take them home, do a quick test in my bedroom , and if by some miracle the thing fits and looks good - then I'm good. I realize as I type this that this is precisely why I have such a hit and miss wardrobe. I don't spend any time in front of the mirror considering fit perfection as I am uncomfortable looking at myself. The only time I really enjoy the shopping experience is in a higher -end boutique where service is great, the clothes gorgeous , and the atmosphere is pleasant. Gee, are you sorry you asked? I think I just did an hour's worth of therapy in 5 minutes of typing .

milehighstyle (Linda)

Veteran

I do enjoy shopping (maybe a little too much!) but I also have those times when I have trouble with fit - I'm short with a curvy bottom, full arms and legs but small torso. Pants, jeans, and shorts are tricky to fit, tops and jackets need to have generous arm width. I do well with dresses and skirts and don't often need petites for those items, as they are often cut really short and I have a longer torso than others of my height. I do a lot of online shopping for pants and jeans, as there are far more petite options there. I've also learned which fits work for me at certain stores (Eddie Bauer curvy, LOFT Julie, etc). I've accepted the fact that I'm going to need alterations if I ever splurge on a designer item.

Anonymous

I like to shop online. I hate going to the mall.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I used to hate shopping. Really hate it.

I got easily overwhelmed in the stores and confused. That still happens to me sometimes.

Now, I like shopping, but under a couple of conditions:

1. I'm not shopping (in person) to buy. I'm shopping to look and feel and maybe try.

2. I have time to browse and cogitate.

3. It is not a busy time in the stores.

I do 90% (or more) of my actual shopping online. I can try things on at home, check them against other items, order when it is convenient, and send it back if it doesn't work. A far better experience for me since my size is rarely available in store for some things, or the colour I want, etc.

Summer

Veteran

I imagine it must be very frustrating if your size or fit isn't readily available.
I don't have major fit issues, but I do know the brands that fit me best and that consistently offer styles that I like and that suit me. Although I am willing to shop anywhere, I have the most success with my trusted stores and brands.
Also, online shopping has been a godsend for me. Although I like shopping in store, it can become tiring and overwhelming after a while, and I used to get frustrated coming home empty-handed because I simply ran out of steam! Now I can browse to my heart's content, and, mostly, I find what I'm looking for.

RobinF

Veteran

I am also petite but I like to shop. It is more satisfying to me to see the item in person, feel the fabric, try it on. When I shop online I am often disappointed with what I get and I am not good about returns so sometimes end up stuck with it (my own fault I know). I am only 5'2" but can often wear non-petites or alter them to fit. But I am hard to fit in pants because of a larger waist and proportionally smaller hips so I always have to try them on and would rather just do that in the store.

kkards

Veteran

i love shopping....i love shopping for me, i love shopping for others, i love shopping for groceries, i love shopping for furniture, i even love shopping for home improvement stuff (even though i hire someone for even the simplest tasks). been this way since I was a kid.

do i sometimes find it a chore, yes. do I often get frustrated that i can't find exactly what i want, or can't find my size in local stores, yup....but still put me in a store, any store, and i'll entertain myself for hours.

Joyce B

Veteran

I like to shop as long as it does not involve a full day and crowded stores.
Basically, I dislike having to shop for an immediate event because when that happens it is very hard to find something that I really like and I end up settling.

I generally prefer to buy online but certain things are best bought in the stores, such as shoes. I like my shopping to be efficient and not spend the whole day.
Also, as you pointed out, it's hard to find a good fit. I tend to stick with what works for me, I have had good luck with pants from BR lately. Loft used to be good for me but now their new cuts wrinkle like crazy in the entire back of the thighs so those are out for me.
So my answer to your question is that I like shopping but with certain qualifications, yes but could be no...

MsMaven

Veteran

I've always liked shopping, but the last time I went weeks ago my feet got so tired I barely made it through Nordstrom. It is discouraging these days because I see so much ill-fitting, badly made cheap stuff. Lately I try to go with a list so I won't get sidetracked by impulse buys, but it still happens.

And my body is changing again. It is harder not to get down on myself. Shopping online is okay, but I do find myself keeping borderline items that I should return. I keep them because of a fear that I will never find anything better.

Nishaa

I used to love shopping.

Back then I'd a very haphazard selection of clothes. You know, fancy stuff that rarely gets worn, closet orphans, impulse purchases which I regretted sooner or later, bad quality stuff and so on... But it made shopping hassle free. There wasn't any specific personal style/fashion aesthetic. Go, pick what you like at first glance, within budget, get it home, regret.

Now, it's a hassle. I know what I want. I've a long list of criterias. I want quality. No buying stuff for fantasy lifestyle. It takes the fun out of shopping. I get tired after a certain time looking for a specific product. Of course the joy of getting exactly what I wanted compensates most of the time. But shopping is no fun.
And yes, I'm petite, so that's that.

Now, I hate shopping.

rachylou

Veteran

I love to shop, but not for that long, not for myself. Taking things on and off tires me. And then there's always the nightmare of getting anywhere...

Ivy

Generally, I don't like it. I'm like Suz, in that I get easily overwhelmed, especially in large or crowded stores, and that's just not fun. I'm also a plus sized petite and I know that most of what I try on won't fit well. It's frustrating to try on a dozen or more items just to find one that works. I think I'm different that some of the posts so far because I don't feel down in myself so much as just angry.

As I'm thinking about this, I am reminded of a quote I saw once about writing: "I don't like writing, I like having written." So, I don't like shopping, I like having shopped (and found suitable clothes I like wearing).

Anonymous

I do 99.9 percent of my shopping online. I find it both productive and relaxing. If I have fit issues with my online purchases, those issues never seem to bother me when I am trying things on at home. I admit that fit issues can be very discouraging in a tiny, poorly lit, icky fitting room. I actually rarely buy anything I try on in a fitting room.

Anonymous

I do most of my shopping online, but I can't say I have a high "keep" rate. If I keep striking out, I like to combine online shopping with an occasional foray to the mall to try on styles to figure out sizing and cut, etc. Like you, in-store shopping can be discouraging for me (I'm also 5'10"), but mainly because of the size discrepancies. During one recent shopping trip I fit into sizes XS to XL, depending on the store and item.

*begin rant* To put it bluntly, that's just BS. My husband can order a suit from any store in a 44L and it fits; just needs to be hemmed. He's the same size in shorts, pants and shirts. *rant over*

I guess in general I find shopping to be a necessary evil for the reasons above. In-store or online each have their own issues and frustrations, so all things being kind of equal in my mind ... I'd rather watch Netflix and online shop.

DonnaF

Veteran

Another Petite checking in. I don't really like shopping in bricks'n'mortar stores because it's tiring and discouraging; I only look when I'm returning online orders. Somehow with them I expect an 80% return rate. And I generally only browse nordstrom.com; I can't be bothered browsing the other web sites that carry Petites unless I see something someone has posted on YLF that appeals to me.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I laughed out loud (ruefully), Nishaa. Yeah, shopping is great fun when the cycle is buy, get it home, regret!! Now all the pain is on the front end. Ugh.

I think shopping's a lot tougher if you are not a medium size, or you live in an area without a lot of stores (duh!)

Sterling, you make a brilliant point. It feels worse somehow when something doesn't fit in a tiny, icky, poorly lit fitting room. If it doesn't fit at home, it just doesn't fit -- there's less angst about it all.

gradfashionista

(website)

Veteran

I liked shopping in my early teenage years, when I prioritized bargains, and was willing to buy cheaply made clothing, regardless of fit.

Now, I dislike shopping more than ever. Part of it is because there is a huge discrepancy between specific pieces that I am attracted to and my price point. Ignoring prices, I tend to gravitate to very few but very expensive pieces. I also don't like fast fashion places because of the loose buttons and threads, dye smells, fit, fabric feel, etc. Every so often, I pop into a store, but am so put off by what I see and touch.

Now, add issues of fit and proportions, combined with limited footwear options, and voila, shopping becomes extremely frustrating. For this reason, I periodically tune out the fashion/style world, depending on outside obligations and state of mind.

Not wanting to end on cranky note, what would make shopping more enjoyable for me?
*greater selection of affordable and tailored pieces made from lux natural fibers
*USPS actually fulfilling pick-up return requests
*having a reliable, skilled, and affordable tailor nearby

That said, can't wait to see if there are any Smythe jackets on sale at NAS. It's the one item I look forward to checking out every year.

Aziraphale

Veteran

Unlike many people here (Suz, Summer, Bettycrocker, DonnaF, Sterling, Anne, etc), I prefer in-store shopping, because my instant gratification monkey needs to know RIGHT THIS MINUTE if it fits or not. Plus, I don't like having to return things. Perhaps this tedious process is easier for Americans, but I live in Canada and it's often international shipping. Boo. Furthermore, I find trying on things in my own space even MORE demoralizing than trying them on in-store. If I'm in a shop and the garment makes me look dreadful, at least I can blame the bad lighting!

Minnie, you are so lucky you're tall. You can look at the fit model (who is always at least 5'9") and have a much better idea of if the garment fits!

Sisi, I am 5'1" and shaped like a 12-year-old, except probably with more cleavage.

Milehighstyle, that's a smart attitude -- accepting that you'll need alterations. I've resigned myself to that, too.

RobinF, I agree that pants especially need to be tried on in-store. Ironically, though, jeans are my favourite thing to shop for, because they always seem to have styles that work well with narrow hips and a rectangular figure. I usually find several pairs that I like -- although I often need to get them hemmed!

MsMaven, I'm in danger of keeping borderline items ordered online too, simply because I don't like repackaging and returning!

Ivy, that quote is from the late great E.B. White (writer and author of the university writing Bible, The Elements of Style). I have always felt that way about writing, and you're right, it seems like it applies to shopping, too!

Rachylou, the Bay Area traffic is a nightmare, I agree.

Nishaa, I used to enjoy shopping more too, so you might be onto something. I think the styles of the 90s were easier to fit. 2000s not so bad. This decade, it seems worse. Hmmmm. My body had fewer squishy bits in my youth, too -- I'm sure that doesn't help. But I can't say my figure has changed dramatically, so it may be more that the styles are different, and that I'm no longer dressing to look "cute".

Gradfashionista, I hear you on preferring expensive items. Sigh. What can you do?

Sal

Veteran

I swing around but probably lean on the "don't enjoy" side. I find malls in general depressing monuments to consumerism (I do shop there and I understand their appeal to others) so I usually go in with a purpose and get out as quick as I can. I do some online shopping because the mall stores do not carry their full range in my city and often the pieces I am drawn to are not available locally.

I also struggle with shopping for specific items ie new straight jeans, new black jacket.

The shopping I do enjoy is the following:

calling in to a boutique to see what is in store, and trying on a relaxed sample of items, getting good advice and purchasing one or two items I love. I find it best to be open minded but picky...and it pretty much always works.
two- three hours shopping in a new place/large city/holiday by myself or friends. I usually do not buy much but enjoy checking out different stores, having a coffee, wine or lunch and people watching.
food market shopping - I adore this!! Especially overseas.
shopping for new shoes I am an easy fit, a regular size, and I love it!!

I called into a small but thriving mall yesterday for half an hour to check out the sale offerings. I made the mistake of trying on a swimsuit that was heavily discounted. That put me off shopping for a wee while!! What was I thinking (mid winter, fluoro lighting....)!!!!!

Lyn D.

Veteran

I enjoy shopping usually!
I prefer 2 hr short trips, by myself and during non-busy periods.
It can be frustrating here when often the best deals are offered on weekends.
Online I mainly reserve for items I have already tried for size, as I hate having to return.

Ivy

Thank you for the help with attribution, Aziraphale

Anonymous

I hate finding a place to park, being around lots of people, and trying to find something stylish in my size. I also hate store lighting; it distorts color. I'm just better off shopping online.

Sally

Veteran

I like shopping if it's by myself or with my sister or someone whose opinion I trust and I have lots of time etc. I like op shopping. I don't like malls especially with my 10 year old son who wants me to buy him everything.
I don't shop with friends much these days but used to enJoy....one of my good friends does all her shopping online and others are not interested in clothes. Some people have asked me to go op shopping with them when they see what I've got and that's fun.

Kookaburra

Love shopping in person! Hate car parks, so if I'm driving, I'll get to the vicinity of the shopping centre, say 5-6 blocks or wherever I can find unrestricted spots, then walk the rest of the way. Win-win, my 10,000 steps a day get done as if by magic and I may or may not have some nice purchases to show for it.

Yes, agree with many of the posted that in my young and slim days, it was easy to find clothes as exerting looked great. Though money was an issue! Now I have to try on a whole lot to get one piece that looks nice and flattering. This is not an issue for me, because it naturally restricts how much I buy - otherwise my whole house would be too small to hold the items I'd like to buy.

Before I discovered YLF I, too, used to get overwhelmed on the shops and didn't know here to start. It is so handy to have a preview of the new silhouettes and what goes with what - so now I go to the shops with a mental list of the sorts of outfits I like and precisely the sorts of pieces that are needed to put together these outfits. It also helps that I basically have enough clothes... so my shopping nowadays is never of the desperate, got to find an item kind, but more relaxed. I figure that if I find something that is so crazy flattering I must have it even if I clearly don't need it - well it must be True Love.

UmmLila (Lisa)

Veteran

I just posted on Rachy's thread on what to wear shopping about being bad at in person shopping. But come to think of it, LIsaP, I do like to go to a local boutique where the owner knows me and can tell me which stuff to try on because she already knows if it is my style / will fit.

I feel like big data could eventually get us all there with online shopping if we were willing to share a lot and clothing manufacturers were willing to provide complete data about garments and do honest sizing.

Gaylene

Veteran

Well, for me, it depends on what, when, where, why, and how. Give me a clean dressing room with a good mirror, a helpful SA, a well-thought-out selection of merchandise, enough time, and no need to buy, and I enjoy shopping. Crowded stores, endless racks of so-so garments, minuscule dressing rooms, disengaged sales staff, and lack of time makes me loathe the whole process.

Online shopping evokes similar a similar response. An easy-to-navigate website, informative details and pictures, clear sizing charts, prompt delivery, and easy returns make shopping pleasant. Wonky websites, shipping hassles, unexpected fees, and tedious return policies make me cranky. As a Canadian, that's a big reason for ignoring NAS--Nordstroms has a long road to go before it gives me the kind of online experience I want. Oddly, my on-line experiences with UK/European companies and other US companies like J Crew have been much better than with Nordstroms.

I also have to say switching to smaller, independent shops has made shopping much more pleasant. I may miss out on the bargains, but, since I buy fewer items, I actually end up spending less on an annual basis. The SAs get to know my taste and lifestyle and often unearth treasures in their stock which I would have overlooked. The owners want my continued business so I get little "perks" and my in-frequent returns are always handled graciously.

Karie

(website)

Veteran

I love shopping and always have. I even like shopping for groceries (but then I like to cook and bake, too). I enjoy shopping with girlfriends and helping them decide what fits well, looks good, etc. I do have fit issues but since I sew I can tell if alterations will solve the problem. I am lucky enough to have mega stores in my area.

On a side note: I went out to breakfast this morning with a few girlfriends, and one of them asked, "What are you doing after this?" My answer: "I'm going to Macy's." Her response: "Of course you are." HA! My friends know me well!

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