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Shopping Mistakes - An Overview and Lessons

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

After reading Mo's post on talking yourself down from a purchase:
http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....a-purchase
I decided to make a quick list (out of my memory) of things I never really wear but bought over the past 2 years and probably should remove from my closet. I'm hoping this will help me figure out my mistakes so I don't keep repeating them. These are a few things I didn't return but several of them I should have!

Fuchsia 2/3 sleeve button down (too easily wrinkles, wrong color for me, wore 2 times)

Neon coral/orange Field Jacket (wore maybe 3 times - just too darned bright)

White button down, Black button down ("perfect" shirts from Gap, they are not soft enough for me)

Gap Slouchy Khakis in olive (too big, too much fabric for me, wore twice)

Navy black piped Gap Academy blazer (heavy for indoor wear here, too classic/preppy for most other times), worn twice so far - may keep for "business" wear but I hope a replacement is the BR Navy Quilted Moto.

Black knit flamenco style skirt - too young? not sure but I never wore it

Deep Cobalt blue (almost royal or purple) tee (maybe this just isn't my color - I rarely reach for it). In fact most purples don't work for me.

Powder blue super soft heavy chambray shirt - too "work shirt" styled so I'm turning it into an actual work shirt for painting (another hobby)

Railroad stripe linen BR blouse - too "railroad" for me but it makes a good summer swim cover up so I'll likely keep it for that.

Neon tee in coral - worn a few times and it's okay but I won't duplicate something this bright again anytime soon.

Some lessons:

I don't like clothing that makes me think of "work" in a physical way - like the railroad style shirt or the chambray big shirt. I don't like oversized shirts for the most part at all. I don't like overly "manly" feeling items. Plaid often fits in this category but sometimes I will be in the mood to wear a plaid item so I do own a couple of things in plaid.

I don't wear skirts. I will likely never wear skirts. I really should stop buying skirts.

I don't like baggy pants. I don't want super tight, but semi-skinny, straight or trousers are best for me and not flowy or extra loose.

Super bright colors - one or two items is all I need in my wardrobe for this category.

Jackets - I should stick to casual jackets. That said, I just ordered a $24 Spiegel black blazer jacket today because I've been wanting one for a couple of years. Now I wonder, will I even wear it? Ugh. Many would see it as casual but for my lifestyle it's actually quite dressy.

At least writing it out helps to rationalize and hopefully will keep me from making more mistakes.

The cost per wear thing also makes me realize how many items I should not have purchased over the years. Oh well, C'est la vie I guess. One must learn and that means making mistakes, right?

Shopping

34 replies

Latest reply was from Transcona Shannon

Kristin SF

Veteran

"I don't wear skirts. I will likely never wear skirts. I really should stop buying skirts."

Yes, this is a mantra I need to follow, as well!!

Anonymous

Congrats on doing the hard work of evaluating purchases. It is awful to total up the sunk costs, but you're right -- how else will we learn?

I had to chuckle when I read your line about skirts. That perfectly describes my relationship with fall/winter skirts and dresses. No matter how cute, I never reach for them because a) I get cold so easily; and b) I loathe -- I mean really loathe -- tights. I can manage them for an hour or two before I want to rip them off, and trust me, I've tried tights from many a retailer and price point.

nancylee

Veteran

These are great observations! I think it's an excellent exercise to review your purchases successes and failures so you know what to look for (and what to avoid) going forward. I'm impressed..and also thinking I should do the same.

pil

Veteran

Good exercise - I should do the same too. I think I tend to force myself to wear pieces even though I may not love them.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Yes! Realizing not just what you didn't wear, but why. That's a biggie. I have silk tops I don't grab for, but the chiffon or rayon I don't think twice about. Silly, but it's what I do.
Lol on your skirts. I do wear skirts, but not dresses so much. At least not as much as I buy them ha ha. You stop with the skirts and I'll stop with the dresses, okay?

rholmes27

This post has inspired me to go to my closet for some contemplation. Thanks for posting.

kellygirl

Veteran

I think this kind of evaluation is so valuable. I feel similarly about skirts (and dresses.) I have a few but I'm not adding any more because they just don't get worn enough. I'm thinking I should take a closer look at my closet now

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

Mo - I KNOW. It's like I'm saving the "good stuff" still - and it really doesn't make any logical sense at all. I know better too. It will go out of style if I hold onto it too long. (I need to keep reminding myself of that fact). I have worn my most recent silk blouse 2 times already within 3 months so I'm getting slightly better.

I fear if I take a really close look (not just from memory) this list might get embarrassing. I hope not -- I tried to focus on the past 2 years since that's about the time I've been trying to work on my closet and visiting YLF and similar sites to learn more.

I've learned to be a LOT better about returning things pretty quickly if I know they won't work. I may have posted elsewhere that I ordered and sent back probably 4 military style jackets recently only to finally accept that for me they were just "too" work wear oriented for my style and I prefer my original deeper olive green field style jacket as it's just slightly less masculine or militant or whatever for me.

Mrs Moo

Texstyle, it's like you got into my head and wrote this for me.

I've had exactly the same revelations. I don't like overly manly baggy shirts, I will never wear skirts (or dresses either I don't think), I don't like baggy pants, I need to keep the bright colours to a minimum as they never get worn (I stick to a set palette to avoid this now after many, many mistakes) and I must keep my jackets casual. I have some lovely dressier (well, dressy for me) ones and they get worn a couple of times a year max.

So frustrating isn't it? These are great revelations though and will keep you moving forward on the right track

Suz

(website)

Veteran

This is super important work and these are great realizations. I'm glad you wrote them down. Not only have you helped clarify things for yourself, I'm sure you have helped others.

I spent a lot of time in the past year doing this kind of thing in my notebook. Instead of allowing myself simply to feel obscure shame when I filled another bag for consignment or offered something up to the YLF exchange or to my stepdaughter or a friend, I forced myself to get particular about it.

Yucky feeling, but so helpful. A few things I learned:

End of season "deals" are rarely true deals for me (unless it's underwear or gear or PJs.)
I don't wear crisp shirts for my at home days; I do wear crisp shirts for my city days. But I like silk even better.
I wear skirts and dresses far more often in summer than in winter. I don't need a lot of winter dresses and skirts.
I am on Team Wear so new things get a ton of love early on...or else they don't -- and that is usually a bad sign. Exceptions -- clothes that haven't yet come into season and special occasion wear.
I need a lot of sweaters/ knits to stave off boredom in my work-at-home capsule, so it is okay to buy a few extras there. They'll get the wear.
Just because the colour is great and I love it doesn't mean the item is great. Stop getting so seduced by delicious colour.

Anyway. There were more lessons, but this was valuable to me.

rachylou

Veteran

Good insights. I should do this exercise, refresh my memory...

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

Suz- thanks for sharing some of your thoughts on this. The seduction of favorite colors is something I am guilty of myself. I love deep emerald green but rarely find anything warmer season appropriate in that color. I recently bought a sleeveless top from Nordies in the color but it's sitting here on my side table with a K/R question mark hanging over it because the armholes feel just ever so slightly tighter than I'd like. But I LOVE the color and style and fabric.

Alassë

Veteran

Bring on the lessons! Good job with your analysis. It is helpful for me to read what others have learned, plus analyzing my own shopping mistakes.

Sara

Winter skirts languish in my closet as well... Tights seem too fussy sometimes, and I just head for the trousers or jeans. Thank you for the reminder!

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Great analysis of why you do not wear things you buy. It's hard to face our mistakes but vital if we are to learn IMO. We all make them

Carla

Veteran

Thanks for sharing what you've learned. These types of posts are so informative. A while back someone shared how they should stop buying skirts with zippers on the front! This was SO my problem. With a slight belly pooch the extra fabric and zipper looked just horrible, yet I had these in my wardrobe, and kept on acquiring them.

I still sometimes buy things (tops) in the men's department because the arms are long, only to realize the rest of the garment doesn't do my body any favours.

Keep up the soul searching, but don't beat yourself up if you still make mistakes from time to time.

Anonymous

Oh man, this is good texstyle! @Runcarla, I think I was the one who stopped buying skirts with zippers on the front. And proudly, I've stuck to my guns on that one.

I actually have a notebook and I've had exit interviews with my clothes that are being cast into the outer darkness. Why are you leaving me? What was it exactly that exasperated me about you? And what am I going to learn from this mistake--ahem, learning opportunity? What is it that I am going to really stop trying to purchase? (Never say never, of course, because maybe I just haven't found the "right" ______ for my body type/style).

I now have such a long list of things that I won't wear in a top that there is precious little left to purchase out there. If elegance is refusal, than I must be mighty darned elegant--even if I am experiencing a dearth of tops in my wardrobe. Just this morning I was thinking I really need to make or alter my own simple top pattern, find some natural fabric and get sewing. I don't see a lot of other options.

So many of the items on your "no more" list are the same as mine. I love the color of chambray, but the utilitarian aspect of a chambray shirt really clashes with my Off Duty Princess persona. I have tried no less than five of them and have yet to find one drapey and refined enough for me. I feel the same about overly mannish and authentically work-wear related items. Love them on others, though. I could go on and on, but I'll spare you!

DonnaF

Veteran

I finally figured out that I won't wear an item if it is DCO, that somehow it's too *good* to wear. (So what am I supposed to do with it then?) So now I buy only items that can be machine or hand washed, even blazers.

I figured out that footwear was keeping me from wearing skirts, that plus the Halogen seamed pencils are DCO. I got flat booties, and now the skirts are more wearable. It doesn't really explain why I don't wear dresses, but I think my skirts are comfier.

I'll have to evaluate colors for wear/don't wear. . .

Gigi

Veteran

Thank you for posting this. What I noticed from your list is how important the *feel* of the fabric is. It seemed like you had several items that looked good and fit well but just didn't feel good enough against your body. I know that I react in a favorable way to knits with a lot of texture--I love the feel of the texture against my skin--but I hadn't thought about the feel of crisp plain-weave shirts vs. softer ones.

It is so tough to have to admit our mistakes. But really, that is the only way we learn. How can you know for sure that the feel of a shirt is so important unless we screw up and buy some shirts that feel rough? Life is not learned from a book but is learned through experience.

t

This is such a great topic! Lately, I have really tried to stick to the idea that "if it doesn't make my heart beat fast, then I don't need it". That said, I have a mustard color scarf that would probably look good on everyone but me, a few pairs of fun heels that will never be part of my lifestyle, and the worst of all..."this will look really good if I lose a few pounds". I am choosing to move on and think positive...heart beating faster.

Peri

Veteran

I need to do this. Most of my mistakes would be along the lines of too much trouble to wear...things that feel like work to manage the day with them on. Things that take effort.

Please let me know what you think of the BR quilted moto jacket when you get it! I've been eyeing it but have not ordered.

havanagirl

This is so helpful! It is interesting to read about others' mistakes and see how they correspond to my own.

I have crossed white collared shirts off my list forever. I know, everything I read lists it as a woman's staple, a must have. I didn't know what to say when a salesperson and Nordstrom said to me recently that "a woman can never have too many white shirts, am I right or am I right?" At least 8 or 9 of them have hung in my closet, unworn, and then have gone to goodwill over the years. Even my white tees aren't getting worn. I think I just don't like the way white looks near my face, even though I'm supposed to be a deep winter and bright white (not ivory) is supposed to work.

Greyscale

Veteran

For me, my consistent problem is buying fancy / professional clothes that are wrong for my actual profession (research scientist). I wear them, but I feel too dressed up. Though maybe I should just wear them and enjoy it.

I also have trouble with magical thinking. Like, maybe these too-big pants are ok, or maybe I actually look just like that model who's 6" taller than me.

shemarie

What a great analysis! It's like I'm saving the "good stuff" still - and it really doesn't make any logical sense at all. I know better too. It will go out of style if I hold onto it too long. Amen, Texstyle!! I have been so guilty of this and ashamed to admit how long it's taken me to break that cycle. I'm slowly joining "Team Wear," though today almost set me back: Went to stir my soup simmering for dinner and it splattered on my brand new Pleione mixed media top. And a quick attempt to clean it didn't work. Hoping I can save it, but if not, I guess at least it isn't in the donate pile having never/rarely been worn at all. It was worn once and loved! And somehow that actually feels better.

Neel

Veteran

Love this post! Thanks for posting texstyle!

Off my head (I need to do this exercise sitting in front of my closet!)

1) I should stop buying backless dresses/tops because though I love the dreamy allure of it ... I am just too body conscious to wear it! (1 or 2 special ones would do woman ... you don't need a bucket load of casual backless dresses?!!!!)

2) I should stop buying shorter than knee skirts (again body conscious). My knee lengths and midi lengths are being worn to death while my shorter skirts sit on the shelf! Again just 2-3 special ones are good enough.

3) Shoes ..... anything more than 2 inches of heels kill my feet. But in my initial quest to look stylish I thought I couldn't look stylish without heels (I had stopped wearing heels after I broke my ankle! Ouch!). Again I bought loads of shoes for a lifestyle that never existed. Impossible shoes for an MOTG! I have changed myself in this department and I have with a very heavy heart (and guilt) donated my shoes with higher heels. I now only buy shoes that are comfortable and low heeled.

4) Frills, Ruffles, dramatic hi-lows ... I am not going to wear them! Why am I buying them?! Argh!

I have managed to cull most of the things from the shopping mistakes I made. Now my wardrobe looks so much more practical and wearable! Lots of more work to do in there. I want to be in a state where I love everything that is in my closet. Sadly I am still not there yet.

Anonymous

Great post Textyle. I need to do this as I have been finding mistakes hanging in my wardrobe. Maybe not quite so many over the last year due to YLF, but still a few non-the-less. I've been a bit guilty of saving the good stuff too
I have decided that I don't do wide leg trousers except for two linen pairs for summer. The problem I have is I need a heel with them, but then when I'm around the house they drag on the floor so I end up folding up the hem and it looks weird... this is just one example. I'm sure there are more.
I'm going to do a list like you did I think. Thanks for the inspiration and reminder.

Vildy

Veteran

Claire, you are darned elegant! "I love the color of chambray, but the utilitarian aspect of a chambray shirt really clashes with my Off Duty Princess persona."

Exactly my situation. I keep visualizing a french blue one and reading how it will magically solve all problems Luckily, I don't tend to buy any but am then stuck without original ideas. Though I'm ultra-pragmatic, utilitarian doesn't suit me at all - makes me feel like I need to sport a lunchbox with a thermos of soup.

cheryle (Dianthus)

(website)

Veteran

I see that this resonates with many YLFers. Very good post Texstyle. I suspect we all have a few of those items that we are consistently drawn to but that don't work. For me, one of them is embellished white shirts. I love the look of them but dread the ironing. I'm talking things like a crisp white shirt with a twist front or folds.

Have you considered taking the analysis one step further and trying to pinpoint why you purchased these items to see if you can head it off before the purchase? Why did you think you needed the piece and what were the influences? In the past I was talked into purchases by sales assistants but I no longer buy anything if I have doubts. I also try not to leave shopping for trips or occasions to the last minute as desperation buys are often mistakes too.

Aziraphale

Veteran

Great post!

The one thing about skirts: are you more likely to wear them in the summer? I find that my summer skirts get way more love than the winter ones, because I don't have to mess around with tights and a slip. Many mornings, that just seems like too much work. But in the summer a skirt is easy, and more breezy than pants. Although shorts are good for that too.

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