Shopping Habits vs Style Goals

Dee

One of my goals for this year was to refine my style and pare down my wardrobe accordingly. I don't want to go truly minimal like some of you, but I've decided I would rather wear my favorites more often than work in the "okay" pieces just because I have them.

I did a bit of shopping this weekend and came home with three cardigans. All are flattering and would work well with my existing wardrobe. But after re-examining my spring/summer wardrobe, I realized I already have a few that I really like and am looking forward to wearing. So I'll be keeping one cream colored one because a neutral was on my spring wish list, but the others will be going back to the store, and I'm happy with that decision.

I feel like I'm slowly making progress but I still struggle saying no to perfectly decent pieces that are within my budget, even if I don't really need them. Does anyone else ever feel like this? If so, do you have any advice or strategies for being more conscious while shopping? Do you keep your goals in mind every time you shop?

12 years ago

Shopping

13 replies

Latest reply was from Liz

Gigi

Veteran

Dee, I am somewhat in the same boat. One of my resolutions for this year was not to buy anything that I didn't really love and get excited about. So that means that a lot of pieces that I try on that fit well and are a color I like, etc., get returned simply because they don't have that extra "happy" piece. And what I've been saying to myself is, "If I *needed* a top in this color or this cut for some kind of event or something, I would definitely buy this top. But I don't actually *need* the top. So back it goes."

Yes, I do keep this goal in mind every time I shop. If I find myself overanalyzing with my head, that's a good sign that my heart isn't attracted to the item and I need to put the thing back. It's not going to become a "favorite," as you put it--it will be just another utilitarian cog in my wardrobe machine :^). And even if you can afford the item, why clutter up your closet with something that you really don't want, deep down?

It was really hard at first to return perfectly good items--and it really killed me to do it when the piece fit perfectly, since I am hard to fit--but now that I've done it a few times, it's getting easier. I think you just need to get into the habit. So stick to your guns!

12 years ago

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Sounds like you are doing well I find that my list really keeps me focused - if it isn't on my list why am I looking at it/buying it? Having said that I do keep a small percentage of my budget for those serendipitous items that I just love (but it has to be love).

12 years ago

rabbit

Veteran

I've been doing a lot of shopping in the last two months, basically building a wardrobe with more variety than a few pairs of jeans and t shirts and a nice skirt or two. So at first, it was about buying things that fit, looked good, matched the silhouette I was going for, and were the right color, and taking most of them home. Then as quasi capsules started to form I started looking to fill holes, but also taking other serendipitous things home too that I found, and ran into your situation. I think I'm coming out of it now, I hope.

What has helped some is going through my whole closet regularly, right now every other day, and rethinking and retrying on (I don't take tags off something unless I'm wearing it out of the house for real). So I'm slowly taking a percentage of everything back. Funnily enough most of what I end up culling are pieces I that were on my list that I deliberately bought to fill holes - a white shirt, a lavender colored item, a wide belt, etc. These are things that are good - 7 or 8's, but not great/interesting 10's, and I'd rather wait for great. The unexpected finds are usually the ones I keep because they add excitement, edge, or quirk to an outfit, and because I love them, I wear them.

But man, I hear you on cardigans. I have too many probably right now. I think I overcompensated for years of having one black one that wore out regularly from constant use. They are so useful too... but you are inspiring me to take one more hard look to see if I need them all.

12 years ago

Carla

Veteran

I divide shopping trips into 'reconnaissance' and 'targeted' shopping. Reconnaissance is a scouting mission, and it is okay, to leave with nothing more than an ice cream cone from the Laura Secord's at the end of 2-3 hours of looking at and/or trying on clothes, bags, shoes, etc. Targeted shopping is shopping with real items in mind.

I keep a 'look book' that I actually bring with me when I shop. The book has pictures (from magazines or printed from online) and also word descriptions of the items I am seeking. This keeps each shopping trip focused. If a SA approaches me, I'll show them the pictures and ask, 'do you have something like this?'

Sometimes other things get into the cart but then they have to meet the '10 challenge'. In other words, are they a perfect 10/10 and therefore deserve a place in my closet of 'happiness factor 10 ' clothes? Holding out for the perfect version of what you need/want goes far when trying to reduce buying something just because it is 'okay' and then buying that same thing over, and over again because you are not really happy with it.

Now, if you are talking about repeat purchases of things you love, that is another matter! Stripped mariner T's are an addiction, and I have to seriously talk myself away from the edge when I find myself pulling one from the racks!

When targeted shopping goes awry, and I have been unsuccessful when searching for that item I feel I need, and I catch myself settling for something less than fab, or I feel bad about coming away empty handed, I buy a fashion magazine and tell myself that I won't go naked just because I couldn't find x, y, or z.

12 years ago

Deborah

Veteran

Sounds like you are pretty focussed. I do the same thing. I find myself trying and considering buying something I already have and love. My struggle is not to buy the same thing over and over:) I do keep my goals in the forefront of my mind but I do allow those unplanned spontaneous purchases when I LOVE it and it fits my style and will work with my wardrobe.

12 years ago

Lisa

Veteran

I have had to treat clothes shopping like shopping for food. I never go to the supermarket without a list, and now I don't go to a clothing store without one either.

12 years ago

NDMom

Active Member

Loved reading your wise replies, ladies! Thanks for the question, Dee! Very helpful to me too!

12 years ago

Susie

Veteran

You all are much more disciplined than I am. Even with all of my nerdy data (WIW lists, spreadsheets of the number of times I wear items and how many pieces I "need") I've still recently added too many things.

I have gotten better at buying things that I "love" rather than just 'I like this, it fits and it might be nice to have.'

I did a lot of changing out my closet this past weekend, moving out the true winter items and moving in the spring stuff (of course I woke up to a dusting of snow this morning!) And my closet is just more full than I want it to be. I am going to spend some time trying on a lot of things and hopefully doing a good size purge.

None of this is helpful advice, is it?!

12 years ago

(website)

Veteran

I use a list. Mental, not physical (it's stored on my laptop, which I do not take shopping ha), but I know that sucker inside and out lol! I do make the random serendipitous purchase, but they are much fewer and further between than they used to be. I remember that the less I spend on 'fluff' I don't need, the nicer I can afford of the things I do need.
When you break it down and really think about it numbers wise, 10 'okay' items at $30 apiece can equal one stunning $300 item that you might normally consider out of your budget. [says the gal who bought her first ever over $300 item in her life last month!]

12 years ago

rachylou

Veteran

I have a hard time keeping it together. Could probably use a stylist's help... or a therapist!

I find I have to review my wardrobe top to bottom on a fairly regular basis. Things go out, things come in, my activities change, and things start to fall apart. My lists get out of date...

12 years ago

Suz

(website)

Veteran

In the past, I've run into the same problem rabbit mentions. Items on a list, needed to fill "holes" are actually temptations to me -- I tend to buy 7s or 8s rather than 10s all too easily, and live to regret it. So for me, a list isn't necessarily my friend -- although I do make them, and I do think in a more general way, they help.

I also adopt Angie's "item/ outfit/ capsule" test for each purchase. This helps me make practical and live-able decisions and avoid unnecessary duplication.

Finally, I ask myself: Do I love it? Is it moving me forward on my style journey? Or is it just a "bargain." A bargain is no bargain if it makes me stagnate.

12 years ago

Dee

Veteran

Ok, first off thanks everyone for all of the detailed replies. I've enjoyed reading them and plan on trying out various strategies to see what works for me!

Gigi, it sounds like I'm where you were a few months ago. I've been returning quite a bit more this year but it hasn't quite hit the easy stage yet. Fingers crossed that does. Now I just need to work on not bringing things home to begin with.

Caro/Lisa/Mo - I might have to give making lists a try. I have trouble sticking to lists at the grocery store at times, but it definitely does make you think about what you're buying and why. Mo, in terms of more expensive pieces, that is where I'd like to be. Wearing one $300 item that I love regularly sounds great to me.

rabbit, that's where I was last year. I'd changed jobs and lost a bunch of weight, so I replaced a good bit of my wardrobe with 7s or 8s and am trying to break that habit now. But I agree that sometimes the unexpected pieces are the ones that really shine.

Carla, your targeted shopping is so methodical! I'm impressed! And I like the idea of picking up a magazine or something small if you can't find your perfect 10 piece.

Deborah, from your posts and WIWs I think we are pretty opposite on the style spectrum, but I'm always imprerssed when I see someone with such a deliberate and curated wardrobe. I'm reassured that even you sometimes struggle with duplicating items.

Susie, we sound pretty similar. I often have a good idea of what I want and I plan to not buy too much, but sticking to it is sometimes a problem for me! At least I've gotten better at tearing the tags off the next day (Team Wear, all the way!) but giving it a few days so that more items are getting returned.

Rachylou, glad to hear others struggle with this as well!

Suz, your question about "Is it moving me forward on my style journey?" is perfect! I generally know what fits and works on me, but I am trying to move forward in a slightly different direction, so maybe that's no longer enough. Great food for thought.

12 years ago

Liz

Veteran

Last year was the first time in my life I was buying from a plan, and to fill needs, rather than shopping randomly. And, for a couple of seasons, because my clothing budget went way down, I only bought what I really knew I needed. This was really good for me, because it showed me the difference between "potentially nice to have" and Real Need. I could tell a Real Need had been filled when I felt a sense of glad relief that I now had this top or that skirt, because I could now make and wear outfits I couldn't before, or because I now had something to wear to a certain type of event or because I finally had the shoes that made an outfit feel wearable. I'd start wearing the thing I bought right away, and feeling so thankful that I had it.
That has become a benchmark for me now. The "perfectly decent, maybe nice to have" items don't have me reaching for them with the sense of "ooohhh....I'm so glad and grateful this is in my closet; I needed this and I'm so happy to get to wear it!" If I get an item home and I'm happy to let it hang around unworn, in the closet, it's a sign it's not really filling any genuine need.
The other grid that helps me know if something is a real addition to my closet is the one Suz mentioned: "Will this move my style forward or am I just buying more of the same?" If the answer is "more of the same," then (given my still-small clothing budget) I'm usually better off wearing what I already have.

12 years ago

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