I'm sorry to hear that you're having such a difficult time doing what should be a fun activity! It can be really hard when what you're looking for just isn't there.
I too think it's a bear to find pants that fit. I'm struggling even with jeans, and I think pants are worse. So I can sure offer some empathy.
It might be helpful to take some measurements so that you can get an idea of what types of bottoms will work for you. For instance, I don't look super hourglassy from the front, but I do from the side, and I have a ten-inch difference between my waist and hips. That means that most pants don't fit me, because they don't have that big of a difference between waist and hips. I go for fits labeled "curvy" here, or for fabrics that are described by the retailer as super stretchy. That helps me a lot to pinpoint items that have a high chance of working for me, especially when retailers offer measurements on their website.
I would be patient with yourself and do what you can for now, even if it means having only a few outfits for work. You don't want to compromise. Keep shopping about, because that will give you more information about fabrics, patterns, and styles that you like or don't like. But I hear you on how tiring it can be.