Shopping for your current lifestyle - AKA what you want vs what you need - YouLookFab Forum

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Shopping for your current lifestyle - AKA what you want vs what you need

abc

Veteran

I am frustrated and need to vent, so thanks in advance for the ears of YLF around the world

I want a pair of cognac boot(ies) to match a recent belt purchase, and bc cognac is really singing to me lately as temps cool. Not even a need, but hey I have really been cutting my shopping in recent months and want some fall refreshers.

I am trying to reconcile my want for pretty, feminine footwear with my day-to-day lifestyle which involves a LOT of walking in an urban environment. I WFH and have 2 small kids so even though I really want to dress up and chic every day, the truth and reality of it is I am hard pressed in the AM to dress myself coherently much less super glam before getting out the door to start my day of shuffling kids, working, errands, etc., mostly done on foot.

I guess I am also feeling growing pains from not just pulling the trigger to buy every pretty little thing I come across. Grr for maturity

How do you reconcile what you WANT vs what you NEED?

Pic 1: what I WANT (Pikolinos, and truth be told, they seemed super comfy when I tried them on, but let's face it, I keep reaching for flat shoes over any heels in my closet in the last few months)
Find 1: what I NEED (Zara, flat but dare I say not feminine enough for me? I just don't feel "like myself" in shoes like this so I hesitate, even though the color is right and they are nearly flat, good for walking)
Find 2: The belt I recently purchased

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Flat Leather Booties

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Banana Republic

Tumbled Italian Leather Belt

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3

Shopping

18 replies

Latest reply was from E

jennifer

Veteran

Are your other heels " super comfy" or are they in the 2-4 hour sit shoes class? If the Picolinos are really super comfy then you'll wear them happily. If they are just-comfy-enough/sit shoe class then keep searching for a boogie that is both comfy and the glam level you want. It sounds like the Zara's are too practical,more mod urban knight than feminine glam.

Kristin SF

Veteran

What do you think about this Find from Angie? I pulled the trigger on them since I don't have much in the way of brown footwear, AND I'm in the SAME BOAT as you - WFH, 2 small kids, etc. etc.

I haven't received them yet so can't vouch for walkability, but they look very comfy. And more feminine than the Zara pair you posted.

And I do feel your pain on the whole WANT vs. NEED issue, because on top of WFH with 2 small kids, I live in Northern California. I have a closet full of sweaters and coats (my favorite items to buy) with no rain/snow/cold temps in sight. Sigh. So I also need help in this department. I must. stop. buying. coats!

VANELi Caesar Boot

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Glory

Veteran

Oh this is such a struggle - I also WFH, have 3 children (although older). I want to look pulled together but have it be versatile enough that I can walk as long as needed, carry heavy items if called for etc. I won't share how many items I have purchased that just don't suit my lifestyle!
The boots are lovely but it sounds like you need smaller heels for the day to day operation!

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

It is a challenge to pick comfort/function over style. I have to say though, every time I choose for style first and practicality second, I end up regretting it. I just don't have the occassion to wear many "dressy" things, and shoes especially as I live in an area of pretty rugged land. You know yourself better than anyone so you have to be self disciplined I guess. And price/budget comes into play too - if you can afford to take a chance once in a while and enjoy a few wears on/off instead of a true workhorse, that can be okay, right?

You know, my biggest boot mistakes have been size. I tend to size up a half size to accommodate thick socks, but the last two pair haven't worked out that well and they still feel too big even with thick socks. I'm experimenting with inserts but wish I had been more patient in my shopping.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Well done - please acknowledge the fact tat you are thinking about what you actually need which is fantastic imo It is frustrating for sure, but not as frustrating as buying heels that you don't wear that leave a gap in your wardrobe & your budget Maybe you need to look for something that is more you?

Elly

Veteran

Being a mom is a really hard job because you never get time off-- even when you aren't with the kids, you are still being a mom!

That said, there are a ton of stylish mom fabbers here, and lots of other fabbers that work outside of the home that have comfort, health, or job related restrictions. I have to look put-together and climb LADDERS at work. One of my last jobs I worked with original R.C. Gorman and Fredrick Remington paintings worth hundreds of thousands if not millions and dealt with the owners of expensive art but also regularly was covered in dirt from head to toe and move 150 steel shelving as part of the position. Plus, not living in the city or the suburbs, if you don't wear heels to work here you rarely wear them anywhere (many places around here have gravel walks and parking lots, including hip restaurants and bars).

I guess my point is that is having to walk alot is not keeping anyone from expressing their personal style or looking wonderful (just look at Angie). That said, I feel for you because it bugs me every time I can't buy that fab top with the hardware because I can't wear hardware to work.

This season there are a ton of flat and low-heeled refined (often feminine) footwear! Go forth and shop! (but save a little budget for something outlandish for date night!)

rabbit

Veteran

the flipside of Texstyle's true comment "every time I choose for style first and practicality second, I end up regretting it." Is also true, which makes it doubly hard. Every time I choose for practicality first and am not fond of the style on me, I never enjoy wearing it. I'd say wait until you find a shape that feels like 'you' but is comfortable and has a low heel, there are several more refined/feminine low heels out there.

thimblelina

(website)

Veteran

You've probably identified something you need to further explore... i will admit I am pretty ruthless in buying only what I know I will wear, and 90% of the time that would be flats for shoes and hand wash for clothes. High heels & dry cleaning just don't cut it with me. I'm more curious about why the zara boot doesn't seem feminine enough. Are you short? Do you feel you need a heel for height? Because both boots look unmistakably like women's boots. And I feel very pretty & feminine in flats. I actually associate heels with hobbling and foot binding and outmoded unhealthy practices. (This isn't judgey! I just think it's fascinating what different things mean to different women... In my observation only a handful of women stride confidently & beautifully in heels. I always feel sorry for the rest who look uncomfortable on their feet!) I do own some heels, too. But buying flats never seems like 'settling' to me. I live life more fully in my flats! And you're sort of implying the same thing when you say you avoid your heels, no? So I guess my question would be do you want a workhorse boot, or a limited use boot?

N-Marie

Veteran

I don't have much advice to give, just sympathy. I also WFM, with 2 kids under 4 and I'm struggling in the morning just to get out of PJs, let alone put together a stylish outfit. To me, higher /small heels are just not practical and make me paranoid.
I would never forgive myself if I tripped in heels and dropped my little guy, or was too slow to catch my crazy 3 year old when she dashes into danger. I save less stable shoes for when I have backup (ie. out with my husband). Different story from my own safety- I would just roll my eyes if I tripped when on my own!

unfrumped

Veteran

Commiserating with the eternal dilemma in footwear!

Is it the cognac color you want, or is it the dressy boot style? Because though it might be a HEWI, I'd look for great cognac leather in a simple flat boot that 's very walkable, and not compromise on comfort. If you get something uncomfortable, you just won't wear it. I say flat but it could be a chunky low heel and still be pretty walkable--depends on a lot of factors, toe box and so on. Or expand your leather color options a bit since various neutral brown leather colors mix & match pretty well. So in a sense you're trying to develop some outfit silhouettes that look great with comfortable booties/boots. This may affect the style of pants and proportions so you're not driven toward higher heels or pointier toes, if those are not comfortable.

abc

Veteran

Thank you for all of the advice and commiseration.

In doing a little more research on the current market sources (I'm fairly new to shopping locally) I found a pikolinos store (original pair found at a local dept store that doesn't carry the full line).

I still love the ones I posted and they were super comfortable but the heel height and shaft height held me back.

I have hope though, never fear. Enter this pair! See pic below.

I will call the store tomorrow to see if they carry it.

Bonuses - lower heel (1.5in) and also a lower shaft which means it will play well with slimmer leg bottoms. Has a bit of that little dip in front like the Munro booties many love here on the forum. Woo hoo! Plus I've always loved a mix of materials.

Thoughts on these??

PPP is sooooo hard!

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Elizabeth P

Veteran

Those ones look great abc. Stylish and a perfect bootie heel height IMHO.

SarahKate

Member

Love them. I think about how much I''d wear them.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

Just my opinion but I think the Zara ones look more refined/ladylike than the second mixed material ones. Take some pics when you try them to see how they look to you - good luck

jackiec

Veteran

I totally hear you!!! I recently purchased these:http://www.aldoshoes.com/ca/en.....4028618-28 cognac booties from Aldo. I purchased a cognac Coach bag during NAS and needed something to go-with! I've been really happy with these booties. In fact, I wore them all day today and they were awesome - no pain at all, and perfect heel height. As a SAHM I tend to wear super super flats, but I'm noticing that with my long torso/short leg combination a wee bit of a heel is more flattering for me....but not TOO much.

I love looking at heels, blazers, and more recently the long dressy coats. But they just don't work as well for my casual lifestyle. I'm constantly reminding myself that I need to buy for my current lifestyle, not my imaginary lifestyle.

PS good luck on those boots - let us know!!!

Carole

Veteran

We'll first of all let me say how much I love your new belt, and cognac has been my favorite leather accessory for several year now and I see no sign of that changing. I also can relate to your love and hesitation to purchase a boot you love in too high a heel....shoes and boots are expensive so you need to listen to your gut! I love the last pair you posted! Have you checked Sam Edelman petty, I bought a low heeled cognac boot in that style last year (already have black and taupe suede in that style, too).

abc

Veteran

Caro you are probably right. I am strangely drawn to the heel type of the new one I just posted. I guess you can take the girl out of the country but not the country out of the girl. I'm not a cowboy type but do like the aesthetic of the new pikolinos pair. I think I may head out soon and take some pics for input. No huge rush.

Jackie I know! It's so hard not to fall into the trap of getting stuff that doesn't work for your lifestyle. I used to justify bc I had once a month business trips but those have stopped for now so for the past 2 months I have been 100% in WFH / SAHM lifestyle.

Carole I will look for the pettys locally but sourcing items is not the same as the USA unfortunately.

Thanks to all for weighing in.

E

Veteran

Um in my case I moved so I could wear all my fall/winter favourites.

More seriously, when I began getting clothing that matched my Texas climate better, dressing became even more fun. I bet you'll love your closet when you put almost all of your money into what you'll wear the most! There's definitely more feminine flat booties out there.

I just recently got a low heeled (less than 2") pair of Pikolinos and wore them for about 2 miles of walking on their v first outing w/o any issues. I have v fussy feet too, complete w arthritis.