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Shopping for someone else…

Runcarla

Veteran

delurked mentioned in her NAS post that she had done some shopping for a young’un who doesn’t love shopping. I also recall other posts in which Fabbers mention shopping for a mum, or posts about sourcing something for a tall son or SO. Of course, I’ve posted some fun shopping trips with the DH and DS’s.

DH likes me to go with him when he needs stuff, and he’s okay with me picking up the occasional thing (usually golf shirts or a topper/jacket) though I make sure it can be returned. I’ve had some big shopping sessions with the DS’s, so they are capable - but they don’t shop often, and sometimes their garments can get a bit ratty looking. They are adventuresome dressers, and don’t shy away from colour or pattern. They like clothes for birthdays and Christmas, and are okay with my occasional thrifted finds. (Both wear uniforms at work - so their wardrobes are fun after work and social items.)

Do you shop for anyone else besides yourself? Are you significantly involved in determining how another dresses, or a helpmate for their style? Does anyone shop for your, and how does that go over!

General

30 replies

Latest reply was from NancyW

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Well. I shop for others for a living

Dee

Veteran

Oh I enjoy shopping for and with others, I used to buy a lot of my husbands’s clothes and he seemed pretty satisfied with most of whatever I purchased but I’ve slowed down doing that now. These days I’m second guessing the sizing and his style preferences not to mentioned that he also feels that he has a pretty full closet and sees no reason to add anything else unless its worn out and absolutely necessary.

I also loved shopping with my guys when they were younger and okay with my fashion advice. One son was far more confident with his own style compared to the other son back then. This all changed once they got girlfriends, I was then displaced as their fashion stylist lol.

cat2

Veteran

I shop for my husband. Left to his own devices everything he bought was sort of cereal colored.

The Cat

Veteran

Caring for my old parents includes shopping for them. I know their needs, sizes, style preferences and best colours, and in general, they are happy with my choices. Footwear is the most difficult, so I always make sure it can be returned.

MsMaven

Veteran

I bought 3 shirts for Mr M on NAS. I know his colors, size, and style he prefers, so isn't difficult. I don't like some of the wild colors he picks out when he shops alone.

Roberta

Veteran

Ha, MsMaven's comment made me smile. I can shop for my son as long as I don't pick any of the "wild colors" that I myself enjoy. He will wear navy, khaki, maybe a little dark green if he's feeling wacky. Plus any number of random t-shirts he picked up on his travels. He will also wear things until they're pretty ratty, but that might be a male thing in general. They like things when they're fully worn in and comfy.

delurked

Veteran

Both my DH and child dislike shopping, so I peruse, procure and return what isn't wanted/doesn't fit. The most annoying part of the process is that both of them practically whine when I ask them to try something on at home so I know if I need to make any returns.

RachelNZ

I think I'll always need to prod my husband to update his wardrobe, prior to me it was his sister/sisters-in-law who made sure he had some reasonable pieces to wear.
He is very practical and doesn't see the need to have much variety. He has heaps of free uniform tees from work and will happily wear them on the weekends. So he just needs a few pieces for casual activities and the odd time we go somewhere nicer.
Luckily he's very open to my prompts and is generally pleased with the items that I suggest would be good additions. Successes have included a pair of All Bird sneakers, a linen shirt and a merino jersey.
I'm actually doing a bit of a search for tees and jerseys at the moment as he recently decided that a few pieces were ready for the rag bin!

Irina

Veteran

I used to call myself my DS and DH’s personal shopper. I bought majority of my son’s clothes until he got married and used to give clothes to him as gifts but all the time with an option to return. I still buy my DH’s clothes, except for outwear, jeans and shoes. I go with him to get those. I don’t think he ever bought anything himself. But I don’t push my taste on him, I try to get things he might like. I also do the returns.

I used to bring clothes as gifts to my sister and went shopping with her to help her choose when I visited. I buy my 2 years old grandson stuff because it’s fun for me.

No one bought me an article of clothing since I was 10 or 11. My MIL once knitted me a scarf.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

I shop second hand for all my family and my sister. The easiest is my son, because he has a few preferences and I just work within those. My husband is particular but I do ok. My daughters either love or hate what I find, and they do sometimes shop for themselves but a lot of their closet is thrifted. I see my sister once or twice a year and always give her a wardrobe refresh. I know exactly what she likes so that is usually well appreciated .

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Cat2, "cereal coloured." You made my day. My mother used to loathe my dad's choices. She always wanted him to wear greys and blues (which did in fact suit him -- I share his colouring.) But left to himself he gravitated to weird browns that rarely did him any favours.

I shopped for my mum during the last decade of her life. In person when that was possible (or shopping trips with her) and also on line. That was quite rewarding because she liked clothes and I knew her taste and what suited her as well as what she could manage in terms of physical dexterity, when arthritis made it hard for her to manage fussy buttons and zips. When something hit the spot, she was very appreciative and if something didn't work, she let me know, usually in time for me to make a return.

Now I shop for my adult child. In the past, I did all their shopping, but they are slowly developing their own taste and now I'm the one who deals with basics and bottoms, while they purchase their own shirts and jackets and most of their footwear. They dislike trying things on, so I go through the same song and dance that delurked deals with, but less so as the years go on. Once or twice a year, we make a trip to get them jeans and shorts for work and once we have found a style and brand they like, I may pick up extras on sale. It's working pretty well. They like to thrift for their shirts but also have some from speciality stores in patterns they like. They favour solid coloured bottoms with patterned shirts.

April

Veteran

LOL cat2 - mine too.

I helped him get out of the cereal box, and now Little Mr. A dresses him because he's much cooler that I am when it comes to men's fashion.

RC, I am sort of a personal shopper to my sister sometimes. I do enjoy that because she doesn't know the brands and cuts that will flatter her current body, which is very different than she was for 40 years (she's now 52).

DonnaF

Veteran

DH clings to his ratty clothes and most of the time looks unhoused even though he has many things we bought together. I won't actully shop for DD, but she will consult with me since she knows I will talk her out of impractical stuff for her fantasy life. Mom: What does the care label say? How will those heels work out if it's raining and blocks to the bus or train?

Peri

Veteran

No, no one, and hallelujah for that!

JAileen

Veteran

Yes, I buy things for my mother. She turns 100 next month, and this past year has declined some. (“What did you expect? She's nearly 100.” Well, I didn’t expect this - I expected her to go full bore and just die in her sleep.). She really can’t shop for herself any more. Anyway, she likes a NYDJ top, so I’ve bought her several, and also new shoes. She likes an Easy Spirit mule. A few years ago she tripped and broke her knee cap and upper arm, and can’t tie shoes anymore. I’ve tried to get her new underclothes or pants, but she refuses. So there we are.

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Sal

Veteran

I can shop successfully for my sons and husband - well as successfully as I do for myself. But they are all relatively easy fits and not that fussy in general (poor students and husband that hates shopping).

I used to try and shop for my Mum and had lots of failures. She was a challenge in terms of fit and function. Mum was small framed but had a an apple shape as she aged and hated a tight fit in the middle. But to then get things to fit else where meant they would be swimming on her. And she had very limited footwear choices, with restricted mobility in her hands. There were so few options and she almost gave up trying to find things that looked stylish which was sad in itself.

Suntiger

Sometimes I buy for DH. Wish he'd let me do more, or at least wear the nicer things :/
Took mom shoe shopping a couple weeks ago, since she doesn't drive anymore. She tried on every single pair in her size at the shop :p
Clothes wise, she already has enough for an army!

Olive Green

Veteran

What a good question!
Angie
I shop for my husband, whose preference, as Donna F says, is to look unhoused. He used to be a fashion plate with suits and Italian shoes, and none of that will fit him now, even new and tailored, looks wrong to him with the older and different body. Getting him to a store is increasingly difficult, so the last trip for a suit probably was the last trip.
When we find something he likes, I get multiples. LLBean has been good for him, no nonsense and neat and launders well. Polos and shorts.
Shoes are difficult. New Balance dad shoes, Keen sandals with toe bumpers work well. I will order two pairs of shoes to see if the fit improves, do all the returns, and so on.
He teaches painting in workshops, fortunately denim is great for that. Paint splotches as accessory.
I also shop some for, and with, a girlfriend who is much the same size as I, and likes the thrifted heavy linens and arty tops I find for us both.
I dislike people picking out my clothes, lol.

Sisi

Veteran

I do not shop for anybody else but would like very much someone to shop for me! Any volunteers?

April

Veteran

st - ah, mothers.

Mine (86) has become increasingly rigid about a brand of inexpensive flat that is no longer made and was always hard to find in a 10N. And must be in a shade of blue or gray blue. Well, isn't that convenient.

I found a new pair and a used-but-pristine pair (pristine like never been worn - final sale? let the return window close?) on eBay about a year ago and then told her in no uncertain terms that that is it for this shoe line. Of course, she has Alzheimers now so she may still be asking my dad to find them for her.

Marlies

I only shop for myself, but I would love to shop for my family members. They are just too picky...

MsMary

Veteran

Before my dad passed away I was in charge of making sure he was properly clothed. I remember one time (he was in his 90s) he decided he needed some new pants, and for days he was calling me every day asking where his new pants were. Finally I showed up with several pair for him to try on, and he was all "Why are you bringing me new pants?" Heh. Good times...

Val

I used to shop for my daughters (11 and 13 now), but now my participation is reduced to paying and occasional veto. I bring them to the mall with several shops n our budget range, set rough boundaries about what items we are buying - like we need shoes, so first we find these and them we can through in couple of t-shirts. They have different tastes, I love seeing them evolving in their styles, and my heart is sinking seeing them navigating their insecurities but I try not to get involved unless expressly asked for. I still can buy them things like undies and socks and pajamas but that’s it, I am clueless for the rest.

Joy

Veteran

I have shopped for both parents,DH, and others. Older people are the hardest. They find clothing difficult. I see that in myself now. Back zippers can no longer be reached, waist bands must be easy on and off. Shoes need to be easily slipped on and off , also supportive. And flattering. Tops need to camouflage a rounded back. Some things like bloomers are impossible to find. A friend wants a full slip in silk. Nothing must wear out. This is a good topic.

I once took a friend's daughter shopping for an Easter outfit. She did not want a dress, she wanted a business suite a a girl's size.

Jonesy

Veteran

When my kids were younger I shopped for them, but now that they are young adults, they shop on their own. I do notice when something pops up online that either my SO or one of my kids might like, and I will share that with them so they can follow up if they're interested, but otherwise, I just shop for myself at this point.

bridgie

Veteran

I don't know how I missed this! Oh, well, I just finished reading it word for word and loved it. I like the last sentence that Olive Green wrote most of all. I am like her, I hate for anyone to buy me clothing. No one does it very often now. I guess they tired of a grouch like me, and quit. I have been like this all my life. I used to cry after my mother took me shopping for school clothes and then every day when getting dressed for school I complained that I had nothing to wear! I don't remember ever going shopping with a friend. I got carried away there. That is reason I am a member of ylf. I love seeing all the nice things everyone shows and wears, and discuss, and get ideas from each other.
I used to select my husband's clothes when he was living, and it worked. He never complained and always seemed pleased to wear what I selected.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Bridgie it’s awesome to “see” you! Miss you xx

Carol

(website)

Veteran

I have an interesting response. I shop for my parents for Christmas and birthdays, though many of those are simple and requested (a navy turtleneck, etc.)

I shopped for my ex-husband mostly also as gifts, though he loved any adventuresome thing I got. I particularly remember an intricately embroidered long denim shacket that looked like something George Harrison would wear. Tried to do the same shopping for my last boyfriend, but learned he only likes a certain style--less adventurous.

Interestingly, my father, a retired economics professor who achieved quite a lot in his career, who was a once-a-month haircut and everyday khakis guy...
is amazing at shopping for womens' clothing. He has gotten me many items over the years, and I don't think I returned any of them. You either think "I never knew I had that hole in my wardrobe," like when he got me a 3/4 sleeve plum floral smock style shirt." Or you think "I never knew I would look good in this," as in his latest present to me, a severe, almost Bauhaus-style red and black sweater.

MsMary

Veteran

Coming back to report that I just bought my sweet husband some nice "dressy" tees at the NAS and he is very pleased with them!

Robert Barakett Georgia Pima Cotton T-Shirt

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