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Shopping for my almost teen daughter

Marmee

Veteran

My almost thirteen year old daughter is going to her school dance next week, which is semi-formal. I don't think she needs anything too fancy, but I'm perplexed about where to shop for her. She's a girls sized 14 (and an IT), with skinny hips and not much of a chest, but the dresses we've found in kids sizes have been too childish looking. On the other hand, she doesn't fit into most women's clothing, and I want to make sure that whatever she wears is appropriate. I'm going to take her to look at Brass Plum at Nordstrom, but I didn't see much online that is available at the stores near us.

Shopping ideas?

Shopping

17 replies

Latest reply was from

rachylou

Veteran

I'm thinking Rainbow, if you've got them in your area. The stores look ghetto, but if you look past that they're filled with possibilities and sizes run small. Around me there are a lot of malls trying to stay alive and most of them are filled with shops for tiny girls and teenagers. Also, if you've got a Chinatown or place with Asian shops... more tiny sizes. The stuff is cheap of course, but it will do for a dance.

DonnaF

Veteran

Where do her friends shop? Anything like Buffalo Exchange near you? It is a consignment shop that caters to teens/teen tastes. I find a lot of F21's dressy clothes a bit sleazy. Actually, a lot of stuff out there (at a price I would be willing to pay for a young teen) is pretty hoochy. IIRC, what my DD did in high school was borrow dresses from a rich friend who had more clothes than she knew what to do with. Dunno where those clothes were purchased. Express? Macy's? DD is a short IT, so at least the dresses weren't an indecent length.

I would try the usual suspects like Ross and the Rack. Also, see the stuff in the Nordstrom Savvy department, esp. Topshop items because they run very small.

Good luck and infinite patience. That balance between non-kid and overly sophisticated is so hard and so hard to find. And ummm, the next fight is when they want to wear hooker heels.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

How much time do you have? Modcloth has tons of cute stuff

kellygirl

Veteran

Ugh. Dress shopping for that age group/body type has been difficult for us. So many dresses are strapless and difficult to fit if you lack boobage. Around here, your best bet is at Macy's junior's department and H&M. At Macy's she might be able to fit in a size 0 or possibly 2 depending on how it is cut. Some of the dresses are very small. H&M can run the same. I've tried Nordstrom but their selections in store have been disappointing. Some girls have success at F21 and also Express. Express has 0 which are pretty small--it fit similarly to a junior's 2 at Macy's. Good luck and happy dress hunting! Time for some mother daughter bonding

Neelie

Veteran

Will she wear 2 pieces or does it have to be a dress? You may have better luck with a cute little lace skirt and tank top or sparkly sweater. I second H&M, they run small and are inexpensive.

Anonymous

No help because of the age difference, but I'm taking notes because your daughter and I may be near body twins!

Marmee

Veteran

This is so helpful!

Rachylou, I looked up Rainbow, but didn't see it here. Good idea about going to a mall…I usually shop downtown.

Donna, I'm not sure if she's patient enough for the Rack and Ross, but we'll check out Savvy and Topshop. The heels? We are not there yet, but I shudder to think about that stage!

lyn*, I wish we had time for Modcloth. I just looked at the website and loved it!

kellygirl, we will try Macy's. Not sure why I didn't think of going there, other than it's not on my beaten path. And I will try H&M too. I'm embarrassed to say that I've never been in there…maybe I'll find something for myself, too!
Somewhat nervous about the mother daughter experience. DD really dislikes shopping!

Neelie, good idea about a skirt and top. I think she's eschewing that idea, because that's what she's worn to the last several dances.

Joy, I'll have to post my findings for the super slim ITs!

Glory

Veteran

Not sure I can help because I am in Canada, but have 2 girls in this age range (13, 14). I have found Winners to be the best for dresses. Also great options include Dynamite, Le Chateau, Garage and Simons. Not sure you have any of these available.

Kimberley

Veteran

Hi Marmee! I am in Canada and unfortunately I don't have suggestions for stores you can try, however as a mom of four teenage daughters I just wanted to say that I know this situation well! It can be hard to find appropriate clothing and heels for teen girls and the hoochie factor is a constant struggle. It's sometimes tempting to give in to it, but we always manage to find something that works and doesn't cause my husband to go into cardiac arrest :). Have fun enjoying this time with your daughter - you are making great memories.

Emily

Veteran

Macy's? They have a couple of grown-up but not trashy options in the girls' department on their website... I like the idea of separates, too. Depending on her height some of the shorter dressy skirts might be downright demure.

http://www1.macys.com/shop/pro.....;CategoryI
http://www1.macys.com/shop/pro.....goryID=253
http://www1.macys.com/shop/pro.....038;Catego
http://www1.macys.com/shop/pro.....8;Category

I went to my grade 7 graduation dance (ages ago) in a long, spaghetti strap dress with a butterfly applique and matching sweater from the girls dept and my very first pair of heels. I think I was more excited about the shoes and getting my hair done than anything! I was in a similar situation, at the top end of girls sizes but without the hips and bust for womens'. I remember my Aunt being shocked that a lot of the other girls at the dance were dressed like they were 25.

Marmee

Veteran

I went to H&M and Nordstrom/Topshop/Savvy yesterday. I found some cute things, and took pictures. DD was not excited about them, but at least she was able to express that she wanted something loose, and not too tight.

Joy, I found tons of cute things at H&M that I would have tried on if I had had time. I also found some cute sweaters Topshop. The quality seemed iffy, like the clothes are designed to be worn just a few times. It does seem like many YLFers have favorites that they wear frequently from H&M, so I think it will be worth visiting again, and just paying close attention to quality.

Glory, I'm in Washington State, close, but not close enough to Canada! But thank you.
Kimberly, thank you for sharing. You are right about making memories!
Emily, thank you so much for taking the time to find those dresses. I will show my daughter when she gets home. I think she will be inspired.

Lyn D.

Veteran

I can't help from here, but know this can be tricky!
My 15YO is teeny-tiny and hard to fit, but now at least she finds most of her own stuff, and loves to shop (where does that come from? )
Good Luck!

chadya

Veteran

what about Kohls
http://www.kohls.com/catalog/j.....294719462+

cciele

Veteran

I'm taking notes from this thread. I am having a similar experience with my DD -- she's 11 but wears the same size clothing as me (women's size 6ish/M)! How to get nice, non-casual age-appropriate clothing for her is difficult.

One thing I did recently was order a bunch of stuff from Amazon (Prime) -- free shipping and returns. She was able to pick one lace dress that worked:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00DDOIRPU

Good luck!

lesliekatya

I am in your same boat! My 13 year old daughter and I are going shopping tomorrow for her first dance. The dance is on the 7th, so we have no time to order anything, so fingers crossed we find something tomorrow. Luckily, she does like to shop,

Good luck to you!

LAR101

I just did this two years ago. We live in the SFbay region and were shopping for an '8th grade dance' in May.

A fashionable 13 years old aquaintance recommended that we shop at :

jessica mcclintock https://www.jessicamcclintock.com/index.php

Betsy Johnson (that year: too trendy for us - not elegant)

Nordstrom - we were in a 'special occasion' department - not juniors- and I don't quite remember what it was called

Hollister (never made it)

and you can extrapolate to Macy's etc

The aquaintance gave instructions/suggestions: strapless, short dress and that turned out to be the fashion for their class dance. - semi-formal - mini-prom. Thank goodness for her, I was clueless - what to get, where to shop.

We were fortunate to shop as two mother-daughter pairs and we moms agreed that this made everything much easier.

For my daughter we found a light blue dress at Jessica McClintock and her friend found a dark purple, strapless, short dress at Nordstrom.
The IT's dress had a strapless heart neckline (as opposed to straight across) and three diaganal swags/draping of cloth that balanced and her figure and gave her nice gentle curves. The skinny hourglass had a dress like a Dagas ballerina sculpture with a straight across strapless cut with skinny spaghetti straps (that made quite a difference)

The girls went ahead to MAC and we moms came later and approved the eye liner, mascara and lip color & gloss they chose with the sales reps help. They looked enhanced without looking too made up. Neither girl had really worn make-up so this was a real venture for them.

The shoes threw me at first. Our girls weren't really comfortable in heels - no experience & still teen klutzy. We chose: gold strapped flat sandals for my daughter, kitten heeled strapped sandals for her friend and another friend chose slightly higher but chunky heels for the stability.

Minimal jewelry. Maybe a short delicate pendant.
No purse - well... maybe a friend had a purse and cell phone, but not her.

I hope you have a good experience with this.

Anonymous

I am late to chime in but just wanted to say that I was that size at her age and bought ALL of my clothes at H&M through middle and high school (other than what I thrifted). In fact I think my first purchase at H&M was a dress for my 8th grade graduation!