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chewyspaghetti

Veteran

Anyone else find it torturous?
We have this work holiday party on Friday- I bought a dress months ago, and have all of my accessories lined up and even got the toy donation that we have to bring. My husband, on the other hand- waited until yesterday to deal with his lack of something to wear. He's gained weight and nothing in his closet fits him (which I didn't know!), so he needs a head to toe ensemble. We spent last night shopping and finally found a shirt, tie and belt- but he needs pants (he's decided to go with jeans since he needs a new pair) and shoes. He thinks his 20 year suede brogues are just fine, but I am bound to convince him otherwise.
Honestly, I can't understand how he lets himself get into this position with his wardrobe!

General

19 replies

Latest reply was from Barbara

Sarah

(website)

Veteran

My poor husband has the opposite problem. I plan his outfits and wardrobe and while he does obviously get final say (he has great personal style) I decide whether he needs something new or not. For an event, it is actually easier for me to plan him first.
For guys in general, unless it's a super dressy event or traditional event (wedding, funeral, etc) I prefer slim dark wash denim, boots, button down, and a blazer. Bryan has a baby cord one that almost looks velvet in texture. It's a great party look without having to be overly dressy.

Jonesy

Veteran

Yes, my SO always waits until the last minute to figure out what he is going to wear. Drives me nuts! He also really believes that he should be able to go shopping once or twice a year, and still somehow have lots of new, fab clothes! I try to explain to him that shopping is an *ongoing* experience that requires diligence and commitment, but sadly he doesn't seem to get it :).

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

He was actually thinking about a blazer, but there's no way that we would find something off the rack that wouldn't need huge amounts of tailoring, and this is for Friday. I'm secretly hoping that I can find a vest for him. I had him try on a pleather moto at Target, but it was a disaster.

Sarah

(website)

Veteran

Oh dear. What stores do you have, Khris and I'll start hunting for you. Do you have Express?
Do you already have jeans to go with your shirt/tie combo? BTW, jeans, with a shirt, tie and vest is really hot. I recommend Gap jeans even for men - my hubs has a pair and they are fantastic. It's the slim leg. Most of their other fits are too baggy and slouchy.

Sarah

(website)

Veteran

Also, try Zappos! You'd get them tomorrow.
1. Ben Sherman (my hubs loves this brand) http://www.zappos.com/ben-sher.....st-flannel
2. Shades of Gray http://www.zappos.com/shades-o.....?zlfid=111
3. John Varvatos (Happy early Christmas? hehe) http://www.zappos.com/john-var.....?zlfid=111

Barbara

Veteran

I understand how the male mind works: they just don't think about stuff until it happens. Suddenly they desperately NEED something and turn to their handy helpful female wizard to wave the magic wand. I don't know why they do this, but its an epidemic.

Try JCP for jeans - they have an excellent Levis department, minus the sticker shock. Pair them with a cool shirt (JCP has Izod) in a flattering color and a nice corduroy jacket, if you can find one off the rack.

Years ago, I became my husband's stylist because I know what colors/styles he likes. Now all of his pants match all of his shirts. He orders shoes himself, several pairs at a time!

I think most men would rather jump off a cliff than shop.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

We are really limited Sarah- I was thinking of going to Kohl's tonight, because they have Levi's and extended sizes (he's needing a 40-42 inch waist probably). We also have Sears, JC Penny's and Kmart, and we hit Target, Ross and Marshall's last night as well as a thrift store. Our one mall is just all teen type of stores- Vans, American Eagle Outfitters, etc.
He actually asked about Gap for jeans, but I think he would have a coronary if he saw the price tags.
Our choices are to stay locally, drive 45 min one direction to a small outlet mall that has a Gap outlet, BR Outlet, Old Navy, Calvin Klein, Lucky Brand, Kenneth Cole, Aldo shoes,etc.
or drive 45 min the other direction to a massive open air mall that has more upscale stores- BR Express, Gap, Lucky Brand, etc.
I'm worried that he will give up after a few tries.

Sarah

(website)

Veteran

Hm. My Gap has coupon books at the register for 40% off a single priced item Wednesday or Thursdays. Maybe yours has that? Express has good jeans too, and I don't know if you get their coupons but they are usually really good. Plus, both stores usually have things on sale.
However if you KNOW Kohls jeans work for him, I'd go there. They have a few great looking jackets:
http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStor.....Jacket.jsp
http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStor.....Blazer.jsp
http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStor.....t+Coat.jsp

Or vests:
http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStor.....l+Vest.jsp
http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStor.....r+Vest.jsp (sweater vests are really nice too with jeans, tie, button down)

I'd call ahead so that DH doesn't have to browse as much. Maybe that'll make it easier to shop and try things on.

Sarah

(website)

Veteran

JCP has lots too, and you can check online to see what your local store has.
http://www5.jcpenney.com/jcp/X.....atId=70673|71053
http://www5.jcpenney.com/jcp/X.....atId=70673|71053
http://www5.jcpenney.com/jcp/X.....rchresults
http://www5.jcpenney.com/jcp/X.....rchresults
http://www5.jcpenney.com/jcp/X.....rchresults

JCP also sells Levis in extended sizes.
http://www3.jcpenney.com/jcp/X.....atId=70673|71043

Barbara

Veteran

Thanks, Sarah, for posting those JCP links. The Levis selection for men both in store and online is excellent.

marianna

Veteran

Interesting! Maybe I am young and naive, but I like to dress my fiance (and he lets me). I pick out what he wears so he doesn't need to worry his little head about it. Makes life easier for us. He hates shopping and gets SUPER frustrated. I, on the other hand, LOVE shopping for him. Works out well.

We went jeans shopping for him last week. Went to the Gap Outlet and got four pairs of jeans for under $100. I think I remember reading that you live near an outlet mall -- that might be a good place to go!

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

Oh, the last minute thing drives me bonkers. My DH doesn't do that for big events, usually, but he will wait until the last minute to try to replace his shoes - like the heels are worn down and one of the seams has split kind of last minute. And he wears a very large size, so it's not a trivial event to get him shoes.

In general, he's tough to buy for because he's big and tall - 6'6" and heavier than he'd like to be, and wears a size 14 shoe. Plus size ladies, of which I am one, have *nothing* on large men as to how hard it is to find clothes. It really is discouraging - I go shopping with him and totally understand how he prefers to basically wear the same thing every day, because there are so few choices and even those are inconsistently found. In addition, he runs warmer than most people and so prefers to wear short sleeves, even in the winter, and never wears sweaters or layering pieces, and a coat only if it is quite cold for the outside. So there isn't much of a fashion statement that can be made with relaxed fit jeans and short sleeve shirts. I think he looks great in a suit or a tailored jacket, but that only happens say once or twice a year (weddings and funerals, generally) and he hates how hot he gets.

londonkiwi (now back in NZ)

Veteran

Mine is actually a reasonably snappy dresser and does shop reasonably well for himself, but I am generally the one who will suggest something a little bit different in style.

He does have some weird rules though - like no blue jerseys or tops, whatsoever, with jeans, because they are you know, blue too. He only wears dark wash jeans and I tried to point out Angie's post about blue and black to him, but he still refuses me on this point - same because he really suits blue.

He also takes ages in changing rooms.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

I have a $10 off coupon for JCP, and they are right across the street from Kohl's. I think we will hit those two tonight, and if we can't find something that fits then we will have to make a trip Thursday night (since Wed is dance for dd).
DH made a comment last night that I need to be either fully invested in his wardrobe or completely hands off. Of course, that means that he will have less say in choices. I am taking that as a challenge, and am going to get his wardrobe into shape and start maintaining it as well as I do my own. I didn't realize that was an option!

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

It seems to be an universal problem with male dressing. They just cannot be bothered with such trivial things I guess!
Lately I just check man department in the stores I shop for myself and if I like something I buy it. It is easier for me to return things if they do not fit or he does not like them than try to get my DH into the mall. I had quite a success this way: I got him a slim fit shirt and a distressed leather blazer on sale for $90. The shirt was a good fit and blazer was too big but he liked it so I was able to get him to the store next day to exchage for another size. I also ordered him 2 pairs of Gap jeans and a grey turtleneck to wear with that blazer and that was a success too. I think I solved my hubby dressing problem for us!

Steph

Veteran

My boyfriend is the polar opposite of most of your guys, although when I read Fi's post I definitely saw some similarities. He puts a lot of thought into how he looks, and when he has an event coming up he plans what he's wearing well in advance, to the point where he will ask me to help out by taking his shoes to be shined or taking a specific pair of pants to be dry cleaned.

The biggest nightmare is when we have an out-of-town event. I have to sit there while he tries on several outfits and combinations of outfits and give my opinion, and then he invariably overpacks so he will have a fall-back option. When it comes to getting ready for events, and particularly when it comes to packing, I often feel like the stereotypical gender roles are reversed.

Aida

Veteran

I'm sure you'll find something Chewy! My husband will plan ahead when necessary, but doesn't like to hit more than 2 stores so often just settles for "something that fits" (which usually means too large). The problem is he doesn't know what he likes and I can't seem to figure him out even after 12 years of knowing him (all I know is "gray stuff"); but he certainly knows what he doesn't like. I learned long ago not to shop for him because I waste all my time returning everything I bought. It's most unfortunate because he cleans up so well and I shop a LOT more than he does

EDIT: Also "tortuous" is absolutely the word I'd use.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

We did find something, at least.
Last night we found a decent pair of jeans and some Nunn Bush shoes at Kohl's, and a nice vest at JCP. At least now he has one somewhat dressy outfit for the holiday season.

Barbara

Veteran

glad you had success Khris. WOOHOO!