Shopping Ban and Going Quiet for A While - YouLookFab Forum

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Shopping Ban and Going Quiet for A While

fathenry

Veteran

I HATE to say this but I think I need to curb my shopping for a while. I just discovered that my credit card is up to more than I can pay off this month -- I had to buy some unexpected items for my house this last week. Also, my company laid off 1000 people today and with another 1000 to go to meet cost cutting measures by 2011. Luckily I still am employed today. I am happily addicted to YLF yet I don't know if I can participate without being tempted to buy new items. I seem to either buy a lot or else stop shopping completely. Is there anyone else out there who lurks but doesn't shop much??

General

19 replies

Latest reply was from Katiepea

elpgal

Veteran

I have been there where you are so I sympathize.

I lurk, shop a bit, but steadfastly return items that I know won't work for my lifestyle. For instance, I bought the magic Nine West dress and it did look good on me but I figured since it was synthetic, I would not wear it much, so even thought it was hard, back it went.

I know there are a lot of folk who adhere to a monthly budget, are on shopping bans or are frugal shoppers. So, yes it is possible.

But if it is an *emotional* drain, then some time off would be good. Something or the other will be hot, on sale and will work for your body type whenever you decide you are in a position to spend, so never fear

Rosie

Veteran

Hi there. I, too, need to curb my shopping! While I don't plan to go on a ban, per se, I do need to really make sure I have the money before I spend it and make sure I REALLY want and need the items I'm getting. I know there are others out there who either need to go on shopping bans or really watch the budget.

Perhaps we can start a bit of a "support" group and help each other not shop, shop wisely, remix what we have, etc. By coming up with new ideas and supporting each other perhaps this time when money is tough could actually turn out to be fun!

taylor

Veteran

Aww, we will miss you:( You don't have to give up competely, we still need your input!!

AJ

Veteran

Well I definitely understand how easy it is to feed off each other's buying successes and tell yourself, "Oh, yeah, I do need that too don't I?"

You know yourself best...if you need some time away, then that's what you need to do. We'll still be here to welcome you back and there will always be the new "it" item to buy and an amazing sale to check out when you are ready. : )

I have also been contemplating a break myself. For me, it's more to budget my time. Since I'm a SAHM, it's very tempting to pop on the computer for a minute to see what everyone is discussing on the forum. Before I know it, too much time has gone by. I'm trying to see if I can set myself some time restrictions first but if all else fails, I'll have to go cold turkey for awhile. But I don't want to think about that yet!

Maybe do a test run weaning yourself from your shopping sprees. Are you mostly an on-line shopper or you spend more at the actual stores? If it's on-line, then don't open the threads where we are asking for opinions on items or announcing a sale. Or hide your credit cards and pay only with cash. I thought I read somewhere that a gal froze her credit card in a big block of ice so that she couldn't use it even if she wanted to and by the time the block melted, her shopping impulse went away. Hey, maybe that's another thing you can try. Don't buy the item that you want for a week. If you are still thinking and dreaming about it, then go get it.

Kate

Veteran

fathenry, have you thought about selling things (on ebay or elsewhere)? I'm technically on a shopping ban right now, but I sold several things on ebay and used the profits to buy some new clothes that I've been needing. I've become rather picky about what I buy and how much I spend on it.

AJ, I've also wondered about how much time I've been spending on YLF... the semester ends in the next 3 weeks, and I have some projects I've been neglecting. I think it's the constantly checking in that is really ruining my productivity

Katiepea

(website)

Veteran

fathenry, I can understand that this forum makes it very tempting to go and buy new items.

I am on a very restricted budget at the moment and after buying lots of new clothes and (expensive for me) boots am determined to not spend very much at all on clothes for the next six weeks.

Still, I'd like to try and build my wardrobe, so out of curiousity I went for the first time today to the op-shops. Have you tried this?

My goodness girl, I bought label skirt (usually retail $100+) for $5, a denim jacket for $5, a tunic shirt (still with labels on $30) for $3 and a little label cardigan (brilliant condition) for $4. I believe I have got around $200 for lest than $20! I'm in shock! I did pay cash though so that I would have no guilt and am working on a budget philosophy of "once it's [the money is] gone, it's gone until next pay". It seems to be working, I have more money in my account! Could this be worth a try as some sort of middle ground?

Kristen

(website)

Veteran

During my weight-loss period last year, I was doing a lot of shopping, but since the late summer I have been on a budget; it's a very generous budget, but it is still a budget. That helps, and it helps that I am not afraid to wait and return things if I change my mind days or even weeks later.

I admit I can fall prey to some of the shopping suggestions here at YLF, but it's definitely more of Angie's posts that get me more than if a particular item is sweeping the forum. Since my lifestyle is more formally-dressed from many of the regular posters, most of the items are inappropriate for me anyway, and it's easy to stop myself from getting too interested in the popular items by asking myself a simple question: I have two days per week where I could wear this, is it worth it? Most of the time the answer is no.

One thing I have started doing better is looking at my closet for a season, and shopping more strategically. I'm not making lists of things I need or want and then hunting them down, but I know my closet now and when I do spy an item in the store I imagine how it would work or not work with what is already there. That's what drives my purchase decisions.

Queen Mum

Veteran

I know exactly what you mean fathenry. I tell myself that I have everything I need and then someone posts a super cute outfit and suddenly I just need one more item to be able to copy the look. I had mentioned a week or so ago that I was comtemplating a shopping ban-- I since purchased a few more items, but I really think I would like to try a ban of some sorts. I even stuck away $100 cash in my wallet to be used during the course of my ban.
And then constantly popping in here is another issue. I'm like AJ-- clean the kitchen, check in with the forum. pop in some laundry- check in with the forum. I need to budget my time on here better.
Anyhow- I"m up for a shopping ban/limitations support group.

Claudia

Veteran

fathenry, I can really relate. I need to take a break, too. I also have the same binge/cold turkey mechanism in my make up.

I'll probably be back to review the MK cascade dress and Taser sandals that I have been UPS tracking from Nordstrom's like an addict: they will arrive today. Then I really need to be done shopping for a long while.

A good antidote that I found for my YLF induced shopping (so much excellent temptation and so many enablers here) is watching those hoarder shows like "Buried Alive" and "Hoarders." It's like taking a cold shower. I will watch it and start purging closets, desk drawers, etc., and remembering the difference between 'want' and true 'need.'

Rosie

Veteran

This is really interesting to me. It may sound strange, but this forum and Angie's posts actually help me to shop wiser and not more. I look at things with a more discerning eye, think about how well they really work for me and with my wardrobe, etc. Also, being aware of other people's budgets really makes me think about my own and pay more attention to it.

Obviously, we all react in different ways. As a total impulse buyer, though, all the thinking and talking helps me narrow my interests. That said, if you need a break, everyone is always here for you when you come back! Or when you need to vent!

Kristine

Veteran

I understand too. I'm actually working on creating a small wardrobe that works really well for me. So a lot of my browsing here is getting ideas on how to combine it, hopefully not buy much more.

My budget is $75-100 month for my husband and I and that includes gear and shoes. When I first started on that budget I felt like a princess, now it seems like it doesn't go that far. So I'm trying to think twice about what I really need, what can wait and what I can find used.

So I completely understand where you're coming from. I used to read the HGTV forums and be dissatisfied with my house, so I just stopped reading and liked my house just fine.

Debbie

Veteran

I'm at a point right now where I don't feel like I really Need anything just Want. I sometimes feel as though I'm spending too much time here but I get true inspiration for using the pieces I already have or adding piece that I will wear to the mix.

LuAnn

I must admit that YLF has made a positive impact on my shopping habits. I've cleaned out my closet and taken a hard look at what items I really need and what items are appropriate for my lifestyle and body type. I've also started to shop more in my own closet and have learned how to use a clothing item in several different outfits-something I had never done before. I totally understand that you're tempted to buy more than you can afford. I have to stop myself sometimes because I have two daughters to buy for but I still make sure that I treat myself too.

RoseandJoan

Veteran

Ooo, Fathenry (I now say Fat Henry in my mind when I read your posts), if you need to stay away for a while to curb your spending you will be missed but perhaps we can help you with a series of remixing challenging, changing the focus from buying new to working with what you already have.

I have been living with the threat of my husbands possible redundancy for over a year and my only advice is to plan for the worst but hope for the best. You still need to live in the meantime, putting life on hold just makes the situation even more intense.

EiffelDreamer

I also can relate. My husband and I are trying really, really hard to implement and stick to a budget. We said that two months ago, and then I stumbled on this forum and a few other style blogs I read daily, and my shopping sky rocketed. I find myself doing EXACTLY what queenie said: I see an outfit I could recreate, but I just need a belt or a sweater or a tank or . . . whatever that one last item is to recreate the look. And then I am a woman on a deadly mission until I track that item down. BAD!

So, I completely understand, and I will join your shopping ban support group!

fathenry

Veteran

Hi Ladies, I can't tell you how much I appreciated your support on this topic. Thank you so much!

I decided to make a goal to remix my wardrobe and challenge myself to come up with a new outfit each day out of my existing pieces.

I also checked out a thrift shop today and was amazed by the selection of pieces and the good prices. I feel like with the guidance of YLF I have enough savvy to try the thrift shops and discern good pieces from the not-so-good.

I also did a wardrobe purge and took a bunch of items to consignment to sell. They actually give you store credit if your items sell or cash!

So I'm not going on a total shopping ban but I'm going to focus on remix supplemented by my used-goods finds. I think this will be a little more realistic for me.

Thanks as always for your kind and thoughtful comments, you are much appreciated.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Sorry that I didn't get to this post, fathenry. But I just wanted to reassure you that there are several people here on shopping bans with you! You can still have fun remixing and shopping in your own wardrobe - and know that we enjoy your wonderful presence so don't be a stranger :0)

RoseandJoan

Veteran

That sounds like a plan let us know if we can help!

Katiepea

(website)

Veteran

Fathenry (Julie now you have me thinking Fat Henry too! ), I'm so glad that you have come up with a plan that works for YOU! This is a really great opportunity for you to utilise your wardrobe to its absolute potential. I'm also planning on frequenting the op-shops as well for the most part, as I can get great satisfaction of possibly finding a quality item of clothing that flatters for a brilliant price.

Hey, the upside for me is that I'm new on here, so anything and everything you post will be new to my eyes anyway!