Shopping and Size - An Observation - YouLookFab Forum

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Shopping and Size - An Observation

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

I've noticed that when I try on items that fit will, I tend to like them even if they aren't really my style, color, or a good fit for my lifestyle. I like them *just because they fit*. I think this comes from my current wardrobe being not the greatest fitting any longer. I've gained weight and my shape has changed slightly since having a baby, but I am making due with most of the same clothes I wore pre-baby and 20 pounds ago.

So, when my every day clothes don't fit that well, when I DO finally step into items that fit well it's like a big sigh of relief and I just want to take it all home! I'm trying to be disciplined and not buy things that I'll tire of quickly because they don't fit my style or lifestyle.

Anyone else relate to this?

Shopping

33 replies

Latest reply was from

catgirl

Veteran

YES. Especially with my current swollen midsection and total mental/physical struggle with my body... I am also shunning a large portion of my wardrobe because once-wearable is now unbearable.

You have a beautiful closet and maybe some "crutch" pieces to help your current items to be worn as much as possible would be the way to go?

rabbit

Veteran

Yes, with shorts. For some reason it seems like 90% of shorts in my size (or near it) look pretty bad on me. I end up taking home the ones that fit, because I'm so relieved, then my husband is the 'not your style' voice of reason/devil's advocate when I do try-ons. I end up thinking it over, trying them on again, and returning most of them.

Ultimately I think I'll probably be fine with a total of one pair denim of cut-offs, ancient gardening cargo shorts, and one pair of capri length black skinnies this summer lol.

dashielle (Ann)

(website)

Veteran

Only all the time...plus the rose-colored spectacles that all mirrors seem to place over my eyes. It's only when I see pics that I realize how others might perceive my perfect fitting outfit. The really frustrating part is how our bodies can fluctuate so drastically from one day (even) to the next. Makes one (or maybe just me) want to wear all sack dresses and harems. Sorry I don't have answers, but at least I'm on the bus

Dee

Veteran

I definitely do this. I think it's because it's rare for a garment to fit perfectly off the rack, so that makes it more appealing than it might be otherwise. It's hard to pass on those, but if I'm going to love and wear something for a long time, the style, color, etc. also have to work. I'm working at getting better at this too!

marianna

Veteran

Yes, for sure. Or when I actually find pants in my size at a brick & mortar store, sometimes I'm tempted to buy them even if I don't need them or even really like them.

Staysfit

Veteran

Clothing frequently "fits" me, maybe that's why I have such a large amount of it!

Seriously, clothing that fits well doesn't sway me as much as it used to in the past, but this was a very real issue for me before. Now it needs to fit my style and come close to my color palette for me to keep it.

Chris987

Veteran

I definitely do this. Working hard to break the habit because it leads to a closet full of stuff that doesn't work together. Lots of good advice on this blog but it's like breaking any other habit - takes time and work.

Muffin

Veteran

I'm with Mariana and the pants issue. A couple of weeks ago I came home with light blue Capri jeans because I was so happy they fit in the waist and thighs that I completely ignored that they cut across my already wide calf in a terrible place. I tried them on for my husband and thankfully he was the voice of reason and back they went.

rachylou

Veteran

Oh, yes. More than relate. I've gone way over board in my lifetime, buying nice things that fit. I have to keep the wet noodle handy for self-flagellation, lol.

Missey

Veteran

I'll jump on that train...I've decided leggings are my best friend. My closet runners over with things I wish I could wear right now, but the lumps and bumps underneath them are so unappealing. I'm up 20 lb without having a baby! Job change, metabolism change, activity change in the last year packed on the pounds fast. I'm tall and everyone says I look good, I just don't feel good :-/. Time for me to change I guess

Anonymous

YES. I'm a lot older than you, and my body changes are not because of a recent pregnancy , but I still know the feeling you are describing. It explains why I buy the same things over and over and over again.

catgirl

Veteran

I just want to add that it also becomes a cycle. When I started my new more sedentary job I started to gain and blamed work, so I bought forgiving clothes. Because of that, it took me a year to realize that the gain was not normal (in my midsection but nowhere else), whereas forcing myself into less comfy clothes might have clued me in.

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

Yes! I purchased a really ordinary top today because it fit in the shoulders, was not too long or short, and not too tight nor too loose. At least it's a basic that I will wear.

Usually when I find things that fit well, they are more classic than my desired style.

bella

(website)

Veteran

yes! I am in the same boat as you. Haven't lost the baby weight. Am I even allowed to call it baby weight anymore? It is not noticeable by other people, but I don't think I look good, so I don't feel good.
My solution has been to build a very small capsule wardrobe with some new but inexpensive purchases and pre-pregnancy pieces that still fit. I realized in retrospect however, that some of these new pieces are not really my style. I don't think I will like some of pre-pregnancy clothes even if I can fit into them ever again. The best part is I have gotten used to my new wardrobe size, I don't think I am going back on that. I should just learn to be more selective when purchasing, which I've gotten a bit better over the winter, but last summer was the worst. We'll see if I fare a bit better this summer.

Sally

Veteran

Yes that is why I often duplicate my clothes.

I lost weight about 2 or 3 years after having a baby and with my new smaller size was suddenly finding stuff that fit. I went a bit crazy then too and had to stop myself from buying everything just because it fit.

Vildy

Veteran

One of the ideas I use in order to reject a purchase or purge my wardrobe is that just because it fits and flatters so well is not alone a sufficient reason to buy/keep it. I tell myself it is *me* that it is showing off. So that the value is not in the garment (if not inherently exciting otherwise) it is in me and I shouldn't confuse the two.

Elizabeth P

Veteran

Also guilty! I think for me it stems from years gone by, when I had little money, time, interest or variety in stores, so I'd go into my three favourites 2-3 times a year, and try on everything, and buy everything that fit, that I liked. Which wasn't a lot. And made for a very chaotic wardrobe. Now that I have more interest, and the on-line world has opened up (not to mention lots of YLF influences), I'm finding a lot more things that I love, and a lot more frequently. But that hasn't completely sunk in, and I'm still keeping too much, or duplicating, because it "fits".

I love what cocolion said about things that really fit well ending up being too classic for her style. I can relate to this as well... Another thing to hammer home... I will not go naked, only buy 10's!

BrieN

Veteran

I am more likely to do the reverse. Purchase something that appeals to me whether or not it actually fits. I think it's my scarcity mentality combined with the fact that my body does change quite a bit over the course of a year combined with the fact that I'm always just 5 pounds away from... YLF has been hugely helpful for me, especially in reinforcing that there are countless options to purchase out there. The mantra about waiting for the right item plays in my head as I shop and also Angie's voice telling me we dress the body we have right now.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

What Muffin said. Pants that fit my thighs, are a moderate rise, and long enough in the inseam for me, are such a holy grail that when the darn things FIT in the dressing room, I am too likely to buy, and even duplicate before I know how the item wears and how I work with it. I still have the tags on those recent chinos from Anthro for this reason -- I've worn and enjoyed one pair, now I'm really not sure I will keep the others. I *like* the peach ones, but will I really wear them?

Same with dresses. They are a tough fit for me, so when I find one that fits, flatters, and is long enough, I tend to buy even though I don't have much need to wear dresses in my casual life. I suppose I just need to make myself wear the dresses even on a casual day!

Anonymous

I can definitely relate. I have to remind myself that I'm not just shopping for clothing that fits. I'm also shopping for clothing that reflects my personal style and works well with items that I already own. I learned that lesson the hard way when I looked at my reflection in a bank window and realized I look horrid in ankle pants. Those pants did fit me will, and I did like wearing them, but they weren't my favorite pants and they didn't flatter me. I donated them to charity and vowed never to buy those types of pants ever again.

Anonymous

I can relate. After losing a bunch of weight, everything I tried on looked better and I needed to replace everything, so bought too much that fit better but without thought of lifestyle, personal style or even best fit. How I wish I had gone more slowly and been pickier.
Beware of clothes that are stretchy and unstructured. They allow you to put on pounds and inches without being aware of it.

AviaMariah

Veteran

Yes. I have a serious case of "comfort goggles". If something fits well, or even if the fabric feels really good on my skin, I will convince myself it looks good. When DH doesn't like something I'm wearing he always asks, "it that really comfortable". His way of being sensitive.

LaPed

Veteran

Jenava, I totally relate. I found I needed both a maternity capsule and a post-partum capsule. Post-partum meant loose/forgiving silhouettes, stretchy fabrics, easily washable, nursing-friendly -- it's a whole new set of criteria I'd never considered before. I'm not sure how old your baby is, but mine is two now and I feel like my body is still changing. I find a I burn *a lot* of calories chasing, bending, lifting, etc, now that he's lightning fast and independent.

My advice would be to come up with a small, versatile capsule of styles you know will help you out the most: things like wrap-style tops, flattering tunics, midi skirts in jersey fabrics, trendy joggers or yoga pants, cute hoodies, etc. If you're on a tight budget, stick to Target, Old Navy, and secondhand, and don't feel bad if it wears out after 6 months or a year, because by then your body will probably be in a whole different place anyway.

Anonymous

I'll tell you about my experience post-pregnancy. I was so excited to be able to move around after my daughter was born (hurrah! I can now bend over!) that I immediately went out and bought myself some new jeans. I think I must have been 20lbs heavier. I found some jeans in size 10 at Old Navy (I normally wear size 2). The interesting thing was that I felt JUST AS SLIM AS I DID PREPREGNANCY in these jeans. And the reason is because they fit: The back pockets were in the right place and there was good bum coverage and some ease in the waist. Everything looked ok.

It is interesting when I hear people lament having to size up, when the experience for me was so positive. However, I did eventually get back down to close to my prepregnancy weight,and I never had "body issues" so maybe that is why I am OK with sizing up.

Aida

Veteran

Yep. It took me a looooong time (years) to stop doing this, but I eventually got it through my brain It's a lot tougher when your current wardrobe is very limited, and you just want some stuff that fits well, isn't it? Hang in there Jenava! I have faith in your discipline!

Beth Ann

Veteran

Oh yes, I've experienced this! At size 14, on a limited budget, I find it hard to fill my closet with my ideal "style," but I'm working on it!

Has you fashion"eye" or desired style changed in this time period? Perhaps a style shift is coming along with the lifestyle (and clothing size) change?

jill58

Veteran

Yes, absolutely. As an example, two years ago I bought a bright blue summer jacket because it fit perfectly and was flattering. The problem is, while the style is perfect--bright blue is not a color I ever wear, or feel comfortable in. I have never reached for that jacket and it probably still has the tags on it. It's not the first time that I've bought something because it fit well while ignoring, or talking myself into, the color.

Elly

Veteran

I frequently have this problem-- I search so long and hard for fit and buy things, but don't necessarily wear them, even if they aren't my style.

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

I completely understand that situation.
Right now I'm doing the exact opposite, avoiding the stores altogether.
The stuff I want doesn't come in my current size.
But you need more real clothes than me.

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