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Shoe mistakes: how long does it take you to admit " defeet" ?

unfrumped

Veteran

My feet seem to be getting fussier, plus I have R vs L foot fit issues.
The worst thing is that some footwear will seem to pass muster during try- on, even walking about home, and maybe the first wear, especially if a shorter time ( which I might do as a test run) and then later start to pinch or do something that is too uncomfortable for all- day. What's up with that?

I think it's more likely with any degree if heel, even a wedge, as the foot pressure builds. Or with pointy toes. Makes sense- my feet are voting. But sometimes it's just unexpected. Then I go through the process of, is this for real? Just a bad foot day? Is there something that would make them work? Should I keep but remember only for certain occasions?
I'm trying now to be more realistic and ruthless and " spark Joy" oriented, and accept the sunk cost and decide to toss and go " next". But finding it hard when I THOUGHT I was choosing something comfortable.
I have figured out that for sure it's time to be ruthless with footwear intended to be either casual or a style that is widely available. For example, there's not much point in an uncomfortable loafer or sneaker. I might quayle more over dressy shoes that " make" a special occasion outfit.

Over to you-- how do you deal with unexpectedly disappointing fit or performance ?

30 replies

Latest reply was from unfrumped

Sisi

Veteran

I stubbornly wear the offending item (piece of clothing or shoe) for 2-3 times, hoping that it miraculously will somewhat work, because I hate the idea I made a mistake and hate the idea I have wasted money. Then when I have had enough unhappiness I give up and put aside.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Footwear is notoriously easy to make mistakes about. You're not alone. It can be affected by the time of day you try it on, or the season.

Because of my particular fit issues I pretty much expect that I will need several wears to "break shoes in." There's no way around it. So I try for test runs (shorter wears at first) as you say. I also wear bandaids on my heels and/or socks when possible. And sometimes a little pad that I got for between toes to protect against the callouses that sometimes form with pointy toed footwear. I do that only if I'm going to be on my feet for longer and the shoe is not completely "broken in".

I think your strategy to donate casual shoes that lack comfort while perhaps keeping one or two "sitting shoes" for dressy occasions is a good one.

LaPed

Veteran

For the most part, I now know almost immediately when a shoe won't work. Needs to have a wide toe box and a flexible sole. Anything stiff-soled or too pinchy/narrow gets sent back. I also don't like pronounced arch support -- so no Ecco, Dansko, or Birkenstock for me.

What throws me for a loop is when a shoe I've worn and loved in the past no longer fits me the way it used to. My feet are definitely getting wider, and possibly a smidge longer too. And pickier. I used to wear Chuck Taylors no problem; now they feel like straightjackets -- too narrow. I'm on what is probably my last pair; they're nicely broken in so the tightness in the forefoot doesn't bother me as much as it did when they were new. But honestly, I'm at the point where I don't want to have to break in a shoe for months in order for it to be comfortable.

If I'm trying a new brand or model, I order it from Zappos or use Amazon Prime, knowing there's a good chance I'll need to try multiple styles and sizes to find something that works for me. Oh, and I never wear them outside 'til I'm 100% sure I'm keeping.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I just bought a pair of very casual walking shoes after I got home from my PNW trip -- I needed an alternative to hiking boots. I found a pair of Skechers at Nordstrom Rack that seemed to do the trick. First wear, no problem. Second wear? They drove me nuts. I could feel my toes hitting the front of the toe box -- they felt too small. I didn't pay much, but still. I would feel bad returning to the Rack after two outdoor wears (even though all combined I wore them for maybe four hours).

I'm learning to pass early on if I have the slightest little doubt about adequate comfort. Although I have not given up on the floral Topshop booties because I have yet to wear them around the house for a test wear.

KRAZY Pointed Boot

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Chris987

Veteran

Very good question and no easy answer. I do all the same sorts of "first few wears " things others mentioned but sometimes still get surprised. The other thing I've learned is to actively look for fit problems that I've experienced in the past and pass on any shoes that seem to be in the same camp. One I just encountered this week is that one size is ok but toes are squished and next size up I walk right out of the heel. I see that a lot so look for it. Also Nordstrom will take shoes back that have been worn a little. I've only done that once but it is an option.

Ledonna N.

Veteran

I've actually do what I call the sunday church test. If I purchase a shoe It will be on a thursday, friday or saturday. After I've been on my feet all day.
For me this is the best because my foot would have expanded and I have 11 wide so they are very fussy.

I will wear My shoes on sunday when I can keep them on the longest. Our church has carpet so I wont really scuff them but I can walk around in them safely if I choose to move. With sunday school church and probably dinner out. I can tell if they will be good or not. Most stores have return or exchange policies that I go to and I try to ensure that I do that within the allotted time.

So my disappointment level is not to great.

shedev

Veteran

Mine go back if I don't like the fit out of the box. I don't expect them to change much.

JAileen

Veteran

I think it depends on how bad the shoe feels. I had a pair of cute heels (Mary Janes with a bow on the strap!) that I wore to a fundraiser. We had a long walk to and from the event and stood during the event. On the way back to the car I felt like my foot was broken. I got rid of those the next day. I didn't have any blisters, or anything, but my feet were sore for a week.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I echo what Suz said 100%.

ALL new shoes, despite their enormous comfort level at home, need a little breaking in. I also use Body Glide a lot.

I got blisters the first day I wore these cream boots. Wore them a few more times - no blisters at all - and passed the 8 hour shopping with clients test.

Calvin Klein Narla

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unfrumped

Veteran

Great comments.
I don't have as much breaking in problems as I do toe rubbing or pinching after long wear.
And what Chris said. I have to really be alert to sizing up and whether that solves the R foot problem, or whether the brand/ style just isn't going to work in either size.

Banoffi

Veteran

Great question and very timely post. I wore some flats for the first time yesterday and have blisters and sore on both my heels today -- and this is after changing into different shoes after a few hours. I was wondering if I give them a chance, or just toss them now. Based on the comments, I will try them again, but I'm stocking up on Body Glide and blister Band-Aids first.

April

Veteran

I used to keep shoe mistakes for years and years.

Now I'm much quicker -- probably too quick, if I'm honest -- to pass them along.

I'm lucky to know some young ladies who wear my shoe size and who are in the small-budget stage of their lives. I try to send work-appropriate shoes their way while they still have some newness about them, so then I don't feel sorry about letting them go, even if I later realize I could have used them myself.

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

I have mixed results with shoes - most of them end up being okay and wearable but I've had a bad run recently. These lovely sandals silver Ecco have yet to make it out of the house because they aren't as comfortable as what I'm used to wearing. But the gold Clarks made it out of the house on day one - they aren't perfect in comfort, but have more support (obvious by the style). The silver ones were meant to be for dressy casual wears, not for long hikes. But that said, most of my dressy casual seems to involve walking at least a couple of blocks just by the nature of my lifestyle and the events we go to. It's frustrating!

And then how do you test drive hiking boots? They might feel fine in the house but a hike is way different. I bought them at Nordies so at least I'll have a shot at a return if they don't pass muster.

Ecco Touch Ankle Sandal

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Clarks Artisan Tri Alexia

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UGG 'Cecile' Waterproof Boot (Women)

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Diana

Veteran

If they're not comfy out of the box I've learned to send them back. But even that isn't a guarantee. I feel like there's a difference between walking inside my house and walking briskly outside during my commute and sometimes my feet will start to cramp up or the balls of my feet will start to ache. Often those types of shoes end up being more like 4 hour shoes.

I find blisters extremely traumatizing. Even if I know it's probably a breaking in issue, if a pair of shoes gives me blisters I will probably never wear them again. But I also always wear socks in all shoes except sandals which lessens the blister possibilities.

Chris987

Veteran

Texstyle I have that boot in black and although I don't consider it a true hiking boot can vouch for its comfort. I bought them big enough to wear with warm socks and they were great in all kinds of walking last winter even in slush and ice. They were more supportive than I expected. You still have to wear them around the house to pass the first test to be sure they will work for you. And good that you got them at Nordstrom return policies and all. They will be extra cute with your loungewear As you try them

Barbara Diane

Veteran

I don't break in shoes.
That said, my Munro Abby's are not big walking shoes for me, although others can wear them walking all day. I can walk up steps fine, but going down I take it very slowly.
When I first tried them on they were too tight, but I put them on again and they fit.
It takes a while for them to hurt, so I wouldn't have known until I had worn them for several hours..

LaPed

Veteran

Texstyle -- for hiking/trail shoes, I like to go to well-equipped gear shops, places like REI, where they have little ramps in the shoe section for try-ons. This at least gives you a sense of what the boots will feel like on inclines (you could probably construct something similar at home!). They usually also have a variety of loaner socks so you can try on with the right thickness sock.

krishnidoux

Veteran

Sometimes, I miss shoes I have gotten rid of because I thought they didn't fit. They become phantom possibilities for outfit: there in my head, not there in my closet, and no substitute.

unfrumped

Veteran

I feel like I have too many pairs of 2-4 hour shoes. Frequently I still like what the style has to offer for outfit creation, but then I forget that I wiukx have to pay attention to the occasion- don't wear this to work. Don't do this or that.

I think I have to be more trusting that the with the fashion waves , something better will wash up on shore if I let them go.

Anonymous

Foot pain is the worse. I admit defeat very early on (sunk cost and all). I try to avoid repeats. So certain brands get crossed off my list entirely. No reason to return to a brand that was caused pain (e.g., Rockport).

kkards

Veteran

Ah shoes....sometimes you just never know....I have the Fabulous Okala's. in the beginning they were great. fab fab fab all day shoes. then one day, I put them one, went to work, and around 2:00 I noticed that they were driving me crazy, the top of the shoe just seemed to be hitting my foot all wrong. since I had worn them for months with no issue, I assumed it was just a bad day. wore them again the next week, same thing, shoes felt fine all morning, but around lunch....bad bad bad....now I wear them on when I know I will only need to wear them for a couple of hours....

sorry, long story to say, sometimes your shoes just turn on you....but generally if a shoe fits, i'll give it a minimum of 3 wears before I move one.

Sam Edelman Okala

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texstyle

(website)

Veteran

Chris987 and La Pedestrienne - thanks for the info. I have done the in-store ramp test with other hiking boots, but sometimes that doesn't even do the trick either - and they are not so easy for me to get to these days as I live in a rural area. I won't be rugged all day hiking in the UGGs, just a little trail hiking here and there and then I'll wear them as warm day booties when it gets cold here in Jan/Feb.

Gigi

Veteran

Yes, it is notoriously hard not to make mistakes in buying shoes. I recently ordered several pairs of dancing shoes to buy, and despite my best efforts, I seem to have selected a pair whose arch is in the wrong spot for my foot! Argh. I think that heels are especially hard to nail down.

For street shoes, I try pretty hard to make the item work. I am not daunted by blisters and will use various products to try to avoid the situation (I just bought something called PreHeels), or else I will use moleskin where a shoe is rubbing. When I was a kid, getting blisters with a new pair of shoes was a given, so it doesn't bother me much.

If a shoe is a little tight in the toe, I will walk around with a couple of pairs of socks on to stretch out the shoe, and if that still doesn't work, I'll take them to a cobbler for a proper stretching.

If I have some kind of pain that isn't due to pinching or blistering, I will give the item away or sell it on consignment. I probably wear the item three or four times to make this assessment. Sometimes you just know that there is something weird going on with the shoe, because the pain is in a strange spot.

Nishaa

I have a different problem. Bought hush puppies sandals and was slightly sceptical about spending with no returns policy. Comfortable, wore the for a couple of weeks, then sometime later started feeling loose. My feet are narrow and most sandals don't fit right but these did and then loosened. They were slip ons. I took them to the shop. No can do. I took them to cobblers (2) to see if anything can be done. Nope. I wear them now for small errands but it's annoying as hell.

Any ideas for material that won't loosen. I do know to buy with a back strap is a solution but I do have to remove and wear many times during work and I'm lazy.

Sally

Veteran

Shoes are a tricky one and why I often end up in sneakers. There is no rhyme or reason to which shoes will be a success or disaster. My expensive loafers pinch my feet after a few hours yet I had $15 flats that were so comfortable I wore them into the ground.

Anonymous

When defeet hurt

unfrumped

Veteran

Haha BC!

I wonder if it's worse for " flexible feet?
I have kind if liw- volume feet that are pretty flexible forefoot// dl I hhink that means I can " fit" into a shoe, if it's also a bit flexible as is good leather or suede,
because my foot will conform, but then later " the truth will out" if the shape was not right and feet were a bit squished. This is made worse because I like the feel of a snug fit, due to narrow heels, and hate flopping or flapping shoes.

Author Linda

Veteran

I give a shoe as few as one and as many as three wears before I declare it unwelcome to ever grace my foot again. Those shoes that fit out of the box and cause my feet to shout hallelujah are my gold standard. They're rare, but they exist. For all other shoes, wherein the size is not off but the shoe just doesn't scream perfect, I drag out a few other criteria.

Do they hurt my feet?
Does walking in them bother my knees?
Is the quality good enough to justify compromise in other areas?
Do they enhance my style/look?

The latter is where I have to really think about what I want the shoe to accomplish for me. Sometimes the color is off. If that's the case, I won't wear it. So the question of how many wears is moot for that shoe. But maybe it is a bad foot day. Maybe it's the lighting. I buy every pair of shoes hoping to love them. It's only fair I give them another chance.

I will hold on to shoes for a week and give them a few wears around the house before sending them back.

April

Veteran

Unlike some things, where you reliably get what you pay for, shoes are less predictable.

Who remembers the era when many of us on YLF, including Angie, were wearing a reasonably priced ballet flat called the Swann by Me Too? They were all-day comfortable and my sister and I wore ours into the ground. So naturally, they stopped making them.

Since then, I've had far more expensive ballet flats but I swear, none as comfortable as the good old Swanns.

Sigh

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