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Shifting preferences

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I’m trying to pay more attention to what I’m “not feeling” these days, and adjust accordingly. I’m often too prone to just keep stuff in my closet that I’m not feeling, which contributes to feeling overwhelmed and like my wardrobe is overstuffed.

Case in point:

- I haven’t been feeling rose gold for the past year, which I loved for a while! Maybe I will love it again, but I’ve already put my rose gold tote in the donate pile, as well as a worn pair of sandals. And I have a pair of rose gold sneakers I bought to replace a very worn out pair…only to barely use them! Wondering if I should just bite the bullet and sell or donate them too. Seems I have shifted to silver and cooler tone metallics almost exclusively.

- How many V neck tees can one person own? I stocked up on an old favorite Madewell tee last year and I just have so darn many tees now. The chest pocket makes them feel really casual (which is fine) but somehow I’m just kind of tired of them. Some are not even my best colors. Maybe it’s time to thin the collection! I defer to my black and white tees and jersey tops more than these other muted colors.

I think all of this has come to mind as my husband is totally revamping his closet. I even had to remind him that he should give some of the winter stuff a few months to see if some things are still useful. He was ready to give away a leather jacket until I urged him to try it on, and he remembered that it fits really well and he likes it! He’s so quick to move on, and I’m just the opposite.

How about you? Are you able to pinpoint when you are well and truly over something? Are you able to anticipate what it means for a shift?

General

27 replies

Latest reply was from DonnaF

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Janet, it's your new greyer hair! That might be the reason you're preferring silver sneakers

As for the tees, the pandemic may have brought on those extra purchases. Pass on the colours that you don't fancy, for sure.

To answer your question, I recently thinned out my sneaker collection because I am soooo hard on shoes! I wear them out faster than most. It must be the way I walk, and I walk A LOT.

As for clothes, I'm looking at these dresses. They all fit really well, look good, and I LOVE stripes. But they are knitted body con up top, and I'm not into that anymore. As for the COS dress that I wear as a tunic, I don't like to wear olive much, so I don't reach for it. It's a beautiful piece though. Gorgeous quality, and looks fabulous!

......I am holding onto it all for now.....

Lauren Ralph Lauren Stripe-Print Boatneck Fit & Flare Dress

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Elianna Knit Dress

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Eliza J Eliza J Stripe Midi Dress | Nordstrom

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Shirt dress with irregular hem

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Preppy Pear

Veteran

I just did a major closet clean out and donated all of my ballet flats, higher-heeled sandals, and some brown boots and brown oxfords that were both quite nice, but I never, ever wore. Shoes were once very hard for me to find in my size, and so I’m slow to give them up. Those shoes had been with me for far too long.
On the other hand, with clothing, I’m pretty quick to thin the herd. I got rid of a lot of T-shirts and mid-rise pants that I never reached for and didn’t give it a second thought. Even with more expensive items, like coats and bags, if I’m not feeling them, out they go. It really is emotional rather than analytical for me, I am realizing.

cat2

Veteran

I am moody about both colors and specific pieces; I just put pieces I am not currently feeling in the out of season closet and then see what happens. Most often I will buy something new to which the old pieces are good complements, and drag them back out into service.

Anonymous

I can see how rose gold anything is not working for you now, and it's definitely the change in your hair that has caused this. Rose gold is pretty, but I personally never feel it looks quite as sophisticated as plain gold, or silver for that matter. It also might be too "soft looking " for your style. As to the plain v neck t-shirts, I too am over the need for more than 2-3 of them . The uber-casual, non-impact-making nature of them started to bug me this summer, and when I packed away my summer clothes this past weekend, I culled a bunch of t-shirts. For me it might also be an age thing: do I really want to wear such shapeless and basic clothing now even hanging around the house ? What was cute in my 40's and early 50's now doesn't seem so appealing anymore now that I'm 60.

Anyways, yes, I do cull and move my wardrobe along with frequency. Sometimes I'm right, and sometimes I'm not. And as to knowing when it's time? It's totally psychological - I'll know, is all I can say. An accumulation of ideas from fashion digital mags/IG feeds/other resources ......and one day it all solidifies and action must be taken . Lol.

Irina

Veteran

Well, t-shirts are easy, just leave what you truly like and donate the rest.
It is harder when considering items that cost more. Like your rose gold sneakers for example.

I’m thinking about it a lot lately. My case in point - pants used to live in my closet for about 3 years with rare exceptions. They are the items in my closet that more or less trendy. I keep a small number of them and wear daily to work. After 3 years they are still in a good shape but my style changes. I would slowly replace them and not feeling bad because I used them a lot. Jeans would be worn out by that time. Now, I have hardly used my office pants since I’ve been working from home, some are in style that I don’t really want to wear anymore. What to do? I keep them in a holding zone for now. I’d like to check once again if I can find a way to style them in a new way. But I doubt it.

I’ve known my style is shifting for pants/jeans since last year. I bought summer pants in a new style but they didn’t work as well as I expected. Unfortunately, it happens to me, it takes a few tries to get the new shapes right. Importantly, I didn’t buy any in my previously favorite cuts.
I don’t know if I answered your question, just my thoughts on a style shift.

viva

Veteran

Like Lisa, I cull regularly, so I'm in favor of letting go of anything that doesn't speak to you. If you hesitate at all, put it in a holding zone for a while and try again. For me, too much stuff - especially stuff I don't wear - is anxiety producing. I order a lot, but I return a lot. And I go through my closet frequently to pull out the unworn and question its value to me.

Mainelady

Veteran

I agree that your hair may have a part in your shifting preferences. I think it is wise to part with things you just aren’t feeling anymore.

My own shifting is due to my retirement. I have been able to let go of and pass on so many items that were part of my polished professional attire. I’m holding on to a few favorite pieces for one year, to see if I will want to wear them. If I don’t, then out they will go.

Tanya

Veteran

I think that Angie is on to something on silver/grey vs. rose gold with your hair color change. And the t-shirts, I would ascribe this to the pandemic consequence - first we crave comfy clothes/loungewear, and eventually we get sick of them and want something more structured.

I am being careful about this as I have not been to the office for 1.5 years and we won't go back for at least another 6 months, so I am not getting rid of any office clothes until we are back, know our work schedule (there is talk of hybrid) and I see what I feel like wearing then. For non-work clothes, beyond editing out usual suspects ( items that are worn out, or that are more than one size too big/small), I have been editing out many fast-fashion/trend of the moment items that are several years old and I don't particularly feel anymore. I found it interesting that I was editing out more extreme versions of the trends and/or of lower quality, but often keeping same trends in simpler execution/of better quality. For example several years ago cold shoulder items were trending and I got a bunch of them as they were perfect "going out" items and I had a very active social life at the time. This time around similar trend are cutouts (cold shoulders are technically a type of cutout). I got rid of most of such items - flouncy blouses, some with ruffles, most of them poly/ rayon blends, etc. I kept the two knits below - cream silk and black merino, as I still feel like wearing those. I am tempted to the same with various bell sleeves, but haven't quite made u my mind about those yet.

Silk Cotton Cold Shoulder Sweater

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Banana Republic

Merino Cold Shoulder Pullover

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cjh

(website)

Veteran

Answer number one regarding how many T-shirts can one own? Apparently a LOT, and I am looking at claiming a world record. The reasons for keeping each individual that I don’t even WEAR are all over the map, from that was a really expensive name-brand one (even though it’s pale chambray-ish blue -not my favorite color), that Life is Good one might be great to have if I have to dump my other two which have tiny holes and/or paint spots (even though it’s a round-not-v-neck, navy with beach umbrella graphic), I might want that peach-orange one when fall gets here (though it has cap sleeves and a long rounded hem that I don’t care for), and so on. Gut wrenching…

As to shifts, it’s not my current experience but it has happened before. Many things prod or demand them, including changes in activity or life events, people associations, appearances, moods, finances… When I think about it, it’s more surprising that anyone’s style stays so much the same over the years! Have fun exploring and affirming what you’ve discovered as you go through the current shift!

Ginger

Veteran

Shifts are so hard to identify. I'm so emotional in dressing on a daily basis that it's very difficult to tell when my preference has truly changed, as opposed to being whimsical. And at times when I'm done a real wardrobe organization, I've concluded I'm done with certain items and given them away, only to regret it 6-12 months later.

I agree with everyone else that reaching for silver and pewter has a lot to do with your hair. That's probably going to be a more long-term shift.

T-shirts I personally fall in and out of love with. My latest realization was that I use long sleeve ones with skirts and cardigans in the winter, but that I don't do the same in spring and summer. Something about the balance of tee and skirt fullness. BUT - will my needs change if I switch to another formula for my preference??

Solution so far: a very healthy Holding Zone. For now, I have the room, so I will leave things there for quite a long time. Sometimes I pull them back out. But they're not making me feel guilty or cluttering up the closet in the meantime.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Yes! So much wisdom here. I’m on my phone so it’s difficult to respond to each of you, but you all make excellent points and I’m nodding along.

I absolutely agree that the metallic shift has to do with my hair. When I was having it colored, we always went a shade a little warmer than my natural dark brown anyway. So now that we are down to my base color plus the silver-grey, cool tones are even more of a slam dunk than ever.

I defaulted to tees with skirts last summer and the summer before, and this year wasn’t feeling that so much — I wanted more interesting tops, and am more content to let the bottom half take second fiddle in an outfit, much as I do in the winter. And when I do want to do the tee thing, it’s usually white or black that I reach for.

Yes, I think it’s time for a thoughtful edit!

Runcarla

Veteran

Fall, and September in particular feels more like the start of a new year, than January and NYE to me! Today DH and I are bringing a bunch of winter sports equipment to a sports resale place (my snowboarding days are behind me.) October will be about putting the garden to bed, and later in the month, the annual wardrobe review for both DH and me.

You are starting to venture ‘out’ again after 18 months of restricted activity, and moving away from ranch life. Rather than go back 100% to old patterns based on pre-Covid life, you are auditioning a new mix. It makes total sense you want to be forward looking as you re-engage, and that your wardrobe would reflect this.

I wouldn’t be surprised at all if when we are well and truly past the pandemic folks will want to rid themselves of garments that remind them of lockdown - be it an over abundance of leisurewear, or even just some pre-Covid fashions that got worn heavily during the past two years.

Helena

Veteran

Nodding along with all the responses you've got here ... I thought of your hair immediately with the rose gold, and also it was so trendy for awhile, if it's not 'your' colour it makes sense you might be over it at some point.

As for the t-shirts, I had the same thing with buying a few this summer that I thought were so simple they would surely see wear ... nope, not even a little bit. So agreeing that unless they are true essentials, or in a colour that really makes you happy, I think you could let them go without regret.

Cardiff girl

Veteran

I think that shifts come with lifestyle changes so your new hair colour and your post ranch life undoubtedly have played into this.Also hubbie getting a whole new lot of clothes!Thats bound to make a girl want to up her game,not that yours needs upping.
lm probably most like ginger in that l don’t like editing as l often regret it so l operate a holding zone but even so l think you know when you are well and truly done with something.

Peri

Veteran

It's definitely hard for me. I don't love change so I tend to deny feeling over something for a long time and just stubbornly cling to it. Then I will admit not liking it anymore but keep hanging on in case I like it again someday. I don't want to calculate how long things stay in my holding zone for that just in case scenario.

I'm trying to get better but I'm not there...so just company, no good advice!

Lesley

Veteran

I am not always good at identifying the why for a shift, but I can always feel when they are coming, and I find it's a great time to do a clean-out! (But then, I tend to me more like your husband, and find it really gratifying and simple to get rid of stuff. So I deliberately strike when I know that I'm in a mood to purge.)

I also find that listening to the "feels" is something that I've only tuned into in recent years, and it can't be coincidental that I love my wardrobe more now than when I was younger. I think the more you listen to those feelings the more you end up with stuff you love wearing and stop buying for the pretend life, or to fit the checklists that the magazines put out...

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I used to love gold and rose gold when my hair was blonde. No more! I haven't completely ruled it out, but generally go for silver and pewter or gunmetal for anything. Just works more easily now. The grey in one's hair makes it all different! Once I went totally grey I also found I wanted punched up versions of some of my blues and berries --- I can and do "carry" brighter colours a bit better. But also -- I want white in every pattern. I won't buy a pattern now that does not include white or a very light grey.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

It's good to know I have company!

Hubs is in the mood for a good edit, and I've promised him I'll help him with that a little later today. That got me moving too, so I found myself today in between automated computer work tasks doing some editing. Several tees and summer tops are outta here, as well as some worn out hoodies and sleepwear. A couple of pairs of shorts, gone. A couple of blouses too. Several handbags and sandals that I'm done with. The holding zone that I had for the summer is all going away since I never reached for any of the stuff there, except for a pair of hiking pants that will be useful if I get rid of another 7 or so lbs.

Now I'm tackling jackets, a hard category for me. But some of them really do need to go. I'm just not feeling some of them, even if they're nice. I need to list them on Poshmark.

rachylou

Veteran

I suppose for me it’s when I can’t remember how I used to make something work and can’t find anything to make it do so. But tees are very difficult for me in this regard — I will persist in just wearing them awkwardly because I never seem to know what I want in a tee.

Re rose gold—for me, that was one of my own personally staged fads of one. I’m kinda over it because for me, it’s a bit flashy and I have zero occasions that call for sparkle and flash now. Just a big fat Zero.

Sal

Veteran

Interesting. I can struggle with this too. The rose gold and tees make sense to me for your style. I think seize the moment, but do use the holding zone if you are uncertain. I suspect tees will always be great for you under blazers and jackets, so ones that work well layered will be keepers.

I wonder if the New York city break and being more amidst fashion and people watching was part of the catalyst - along with your husband's edit.

I have almost completely moved away from tees, I have two for the most casual of activities such as gardening and dri-fit active wear tees only. I do retain my like of long sleeve tees though. They have always been an item that I find hard to get right - sleeve length, not too clingy but not too boxey, some drape but not floppy, not too sheer, not too high a crew neck but not too low. And then the bra issue - I strongly prefer a Euro style bra with seams, rather than a tee shirt or moulded cup bra. But these are not as good with tees as you get more show through. Sometimes I just don't care, but knitwear tops or woven tops are better for me.

I am moving away from knee length dresses - or just above the knee. Of the four below, two are in the donate pile. I am keeping the bold white floral as this is cheerful for casual summer bbq with white birks, and the wine spot gets the odd wear working from home in spring or autumn.

cjh

(website)

Veteran

Sal, off the topic of the thread, but what is a Euro style bra with panels? I even googled it and can find no descriptions. Thanks!

lozz_oz

Veteran

I agree with others that your great hair shift is driving your shift in preferences away from the warm tones into what you instinctively know are your best - cool tones. You always look brilliant in the silver, pewter, cobalts etc.
I guess I’m saying to defer to your innate knowledge of what looks best on you. Let go of the items that no longer speak to you. (I’m somewhat ruthless when culling and rarely if ever regret things I’ve removed from my wardrobe).

Sal

Veteran

Haha - I think I did an awful job describing this cjh. I think I should have used the term seamed bra!! I will go and edit this.

The blog post below explains what I mean - I think it is more of a European style and they are often in lace.

https://www.missmaryofsweden.c.....-one-seams

nemosmom

Veteran

Totally agree with everyone saying the love for rose gold must have changed with your hair (which is amazing, btw!)

I have shifted my love for tees a bit too. I lived in graphic tees over the last two summers and haven’t worn a single graphic tee this year. The solid Madewell tees were a major workhorse for me as well, but the newer boxy cut (I unknowingly duped) felt like wearing a sack. I replaced mine with a different brand in a couple of essential colors and they have been my go-to.

As for your question, I can tell when I am no longer feeling something, but have learned to put some things away for a while to see if I fall back in love with them. I certainly grow more tired (or frustrated) with pieces when I can SEE them every day.

The question, “would I buy this today?” Helps me identify what should immediately be purged vs. held onto just a bit longer. Like the graphic tees - I would buy some of them again, I just don’t want to wear them right now. Poor fitting boxy tees were purged. I couldn’t even stand to sleep in them.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Yes. So after I stopped dyeing my hair I moved away from all warm browns for a long time. That was a concrete shift. But I am constantly shifting in terms of my inclination to wear certain silhouettes and styles. Right now I am more interested in silver than I have been in a while and also more open to metallics. Unlike the many efficient purgers though, I tend to move things out of my closet into a holding zone for a very long time.

Sloper

Veteran

In the big sweep of things, I don't think my color preferences have changed much - white/cream, grey/black, olive/khaki, with some dark blue, and little bits of orange. Gold jewelry, or silver & turquoise. Nor have my wardrobe mainstays changed much - mostly pants, tailoring when I worked; no dresses, ruffles, lace, fringe.

But this summer I fell for florals and dresses and added just a few pieces. And this winter I'll be trying sweater dresses. (I ordered the cream version of the rusty orange knit dress in Finds.)

My issue is that whenever I look (magazines, websites, etc.) I always find something! So it is a matter of being thoughtful and disciplined and not duplicating or going for wacky wildcards (too often, that is). It does help me to keep an Excel list of my wardrobe (though I don't count wears). I can use it as a self-check to remind myself of what's in holding areas.

I let go of my work wardrobe - via donation and Dress for Success, and a few things to Real Real.

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DonnaF

Veteran

I’m finding that a 5 - 7 pound difference in weight can make me go from “What was I thinking?” to “Oh, yeah; that looks pretty good.” In both instances the item more or less fits, but the difference is flattery.

I’m not sure that my style has ever shifted all that much; it’s more coming to terms with items that I probably shouldn’t have kept in the first place.