And Spanx are Evil, especially when one is also dealing with hot flashes!

P.s. My stomach today looks like I am a snake that swallowed a small child, or like I'm 7 months pregnant. Three months late, once again. I never really dealt with PMS my entire life, but I have been so friggin' irritable lately. Stupid hormones. Nothing fits, but I'm wearing it anyway.

Your recent WIB posts were fabulous, Maven. Bodies of all ages are "3D", and tailored, structured clothing makes the body, which gets a bit less "structured" with age, look wonderful.

Relatives will often see us as extensions of themselves, through a particular lens, and have their own reasons for encouraging certain elements of our being and discouraging others. I try to avoid asking for any opinions on things that matter to me, even though I genuinely care for the family members involved.

Be free!

I just looked back through a few of your posts and you are so lovely, fit, appropriate and stylish, MsMaven. Dare I say, they are jealous?

You have gotten wonderful advice in this thread, and you have fabulous taste. Carry on being gorgeous!

I'm sorry to hear how these comments have affected you. I am the same way--very sensitive!

I looked back at some of your posts, and I agree with what the other commenters have said. There's absolutely nothing wrong with your outfits. They are fitted, but they are not body-con, at least what I think of as body-con. And I love Shiny's post about dressing to show off your body...I too missed out on my 20s and 30s but am determined to do what I can in my 40s!

I agree too that I think your relatives were probably jealous. I think that if these comments had been meant as truthful opinions rather than as nasty comments, they wouldn't be bugging you so much. You would have accepted their opinion, thought about it, and then decided whether to change the way you dressed or keep it the same. The fact that the comments are bothering you some months later makes me think that they were meant as an insult and not as instructive advice.

I think it also would be more helpful to ask fashion-minded people about their opinions rather than relatives, even though you care about your relatives. When I first started getting into fashion, I bought a pair of leopard print booties. WAY out of my comfort zone. I happened to wear them to an appointment with a psychologist, and I asked her what she thought of them, but she didn't need to even say anything, because her eyes popped out of her head. Then she said, "Oh, they're nice; it's just not something I would ever wear." I immediately felt embarrassed. But then she said, "Let's go ask so-and-so at the front desk. She LOVES fashion and is always dressed up." So we did that, and the gal at the front desk practically swooned over the booties. She was even wanting to buy a pair for herself! That made me feel so much better. I learned that day that if I want a *helpful* opinion on what I am wearing, I need to ask people who have an eye for fashion and for experimentation.

My mum, as she has aged, has worn baggier and baggier clothing. She always wears things too big. I doubt I will change her at this point, but it is clear that she believes that unless she has a "perfect" body or unless she loses "X" pounds, she doesn't deserve to wear clothing that flatters.

And it is difficult for me (as I go into my 40's) to not feel similarly. But then when I wear something that fits well, even my own mum will say things like, "Wow, have you lost weight? You look great!" I haven't lost weight, but the difference in fit can work magic. And then what Shiny said really resonates with me. I always felt that I couldn't wear something or other, even when I was many pounds thinner and many years younger. I've finally decided that while I always want to be in good taste, I'm not getting any younger and I refuse to hide in shapeless sacks of clothing.

There is a mentality among many women that after one has children, one should disappear as a woman. There ought to be no effort to look good because that would be vain and imply that you somehow cared less about your children. So a woman should cut her hair, wear no makeup, and give in to wearing baggy jeans and teacher sweaters. This is a very predominant attitude in some areas (including where I live), even if it isn't as directly expressed as this. I believe this is probably where your friends were coming from, even if they couldn't or wouldn't articulate it that way. A woman "of a certain age" focusing on looking good is somehow inappropriate.

Like others have said, you always look appropriate in your WIWs. Please don't give in to the mentality of your friends.

Gigi makes a great point! You wouldn't go to the hardware store for a loaf of bread, so it doesn't make sense to get fashion advice from people who aren't interested in fashion. They probably have lots of great ideas…about other things.

Wow! You are a great group of women. I appreciate all your comments and each one of you has added a great piece of thoughtful advice.

Anna, I had forgotten about Pendleton. There was a time when that was THE brand. The in girls had Pendleton pleated skirts and my Mom had a Pendleton jacket that was much envied. Well, guess what? There is a new Pendleton store in Menlo Park not that far north of me. I have been meaning to go check the place out in person. I have looked at their clothes online and am impressed.

As I announced in the Happy Moments thread on off-topics, my step-grandson (finally) proposed this weekend and I am thrilled for them. It means another wedding next year, and I think another one will soon be announced. More weddings coming up!

Thank you all so much.