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"She looks like Big Bird"

Aziraphale

Veteran

Oh, men. They say the funniest things. Does your man ever provide funny fashion commentary?

I went out with a girlfriend yesterday evening, and she came to our door wearing a Mad Men-esque canary yellow dress. This woman is tall, broad-shouldered and busty, with the kind of Brunhilde figure that could make a metal breastplate and helmet with wings on look good. Also she is a natural redhead, but lately has been enhancing the red with hair colour (red hair fades with age -- who knew?) and the combination of Large Woman + Yellow Dress + shocking orange hair made her look like she could be seen from space. But I thought she looked quite nice, in a flamboyant way.

Then when I got home, my husband, who is normally the very definition of politeness, says "What the hell was J wearing? She looked like Big Bird!". Which honestly didn't cross my mind -- but now it's ALL I can see when I picture my friend in that dress, dammit. I know the next time I see her wear it, I'm going to get the Sesame Street theme song stuck in my head.

Dressing

28 replies

Latest reply was from Isabel

Vildy

Veteran

Was trying to make up my mind about a colorblock boiled wool cardigan, the fronts in black, lighter gray, medium gray, charcoal gray, in quadrants. Showed hubby a picture and he cracks, "Looks like a depressed jester."

Bought it anyway and after awhile I started feeling like a depressed jester wearing it. Purged it.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Shannon's man provides funny but loving and extremely positive commentary. He's always saying stuff like:

"You look like a sexy sailor."
"You look like a sexy mime."

Anonymous

Oh dear, E. I hate having an image stuck in my head like that And chuckling at depressed jester too

Hil

(website)

Veteran

Hahaha! My husband makes funny and rude comments about fashion often. The other day I was trying a semi tuck and he asked me if I thought I was a teenage boy. And then proceeded to semi tuck his tee. He also makes me laugh when we went clothes shopping and he came up with his own style descriptor, "preppy with a punk edge".

I can just imagine your big bird!

Anonymous

DH and I work on a college campus, and he is utterly baffled by the trendy dressers, male and female. He cannot get behind neon, leggings, and off-the-shoulder sweatshirts for girls. I can't tell you how many times I've heard him mutter, "Leggings are NOT PANTS." "Is she auditioning for Flashdance?"

He also rolls his eyes at the hipster gentlemen who wear skinny jeans. (Full disclosure: I, too, think men look ridiculous in skinnies, but good for them for paying attention to fashion and not wearing sloppy sweats to class?)

Those examples pale in comparison what the sorority girls wear to their Monday night house dinners. We're not particularly prudish, but let's just say that short short dresses reign, as do heels that these women can barely walk in. These women are very attractive, but the combination is still a hot mess.

Anonymous

Years ago, my mom made me a pair of gaucho pants. They were in style at the time, and I liked them. Whether they really looked good on me or not is debateable lol, but my DH called them "lady golfer pants." I never wore them after he said that, and that's the only time he's ever made an unfavorable comment on anything I've worn. He must have really disliked them.

Gaylene

Veteran

Your husband sounds like mine.

I was trying on a brown Eileen Fisher dress last fall and, when I walked out of the dressing room, my husband took a look, wrinkled his nose, and said "It makes you look like Friar Tuck". I must have looked a bit taken aback, because he immediately tried to smooth things over by adding "But not a fat Friar Tuck...a skinny one!" The dismayed look on his face was just too funny, because he could see the hole he was in was getting deeper by the minute. But when the words "But you can buy it, if you like it" flew out of his mouth, I completely cracked up.

Right, my love, my fashion goal is to look like a skinny Friar Tuck...

peekaboo

My DH couldn't care less about fashion, but we have a friend whose wife is really into designer avant garde fashion. At a recent wedding she was wearing a tight rainbow dress with matching rainbow heels. He has commented on "XX's weird wife who always wears weird clothes", which is a lot for him, since I've always felt like if I disappeared, he would never be able to tell the police what I was wearing.

Lyn D.

Veteran

My DH calls my fav. floral print pants 'Pajama Pants'.
Make me start to second guess my choice even though I've had compliments from women about them.

Aziraphale

Veteran

Vildy, Hahahaaaa! Depressed jester. It's funny how sometimes a comment can ruin something, though, isn't it? My husband generally likes how I dress, but he just could not warm up to this pair of bejewelled wedge thong sandals I had. He called them my "old lady on a cruise" shoes. I admit that even though I kept wearing them, every time I put them on I had to fight the worry that they made me look frumpy. Lucky for him the lining all came shredded a few weeks ago, so I can't wear them anymore.

(Suz, love the "sexy sailor/mime" comments. Too bad there's no way of saying "sexy old lady on a cruise" with a straight face).

Diane G, it's not a big deal. It's not like I'm going to tell her she looks like Big Bird.

Gaylene, that's hilarious! Too bad you didn't have a handy shovel to pass over to your husband. He could have used one to dig himself out. "Skinny Friar Tuck", omg. I can just picture the look on his face.

Hil, your husband needs to get with the program! Lol. Semi tucking is awesome. Although, come to think of it, I do kind of look and act like a teenage boy...

Ruth, men simply do not like gaucho pants. They're too weird and baggy for most of them. I'm sure you did not look like a lady golfer.

Stacey, your husband is not wrong. Leggings are not pants. I don't totally agree with him about men in skinny jeans, as a sufficiently lean guy can look amazing in them, but I will admit that "skinny jeans" for a man are nowhere near as tight as skinny jeans for a woman. A man wearing skin-tight skinnies looks uncomfortable, awkward and, not to put too fine a point on it, sterile. Don't those things need to breathe?

Peekaboo, it's true, even men who don't give a fig about fashion have an idea of what, to them, is "weird". And they generally don't like it.

Lyn D.: but does your husband like your "pajama pants"?

deb

Veteran

Too funny!!!

Nicole D

Veteran

Hilarious thread! I loved Big Bird when I was a kid. I identified with him because I was always tall too. Gaylene, you should get a tonsure!

Vildy

Veteran

I just about spit my coffee at the Friar Tuck remark.

Thistle

Veteran

Too funny!

I don't think mine would even notice. The only time he has ever commented on fashion was when we saw a young man wearing VERY tight pants. He couldn't figure out how a teenage boy could wear pants that tight and not crush his boy bits. Made DH squirm just looking at the teenager!

Deborah

Veteran

That is funny but it is awful when someone plants an idea in your head like that:) My husband refers to my fur vest as "road kill"

FlorenceFearne

In one single shopping trip, my SO said that one shirt would be, "OK, if you know any magic tricks." Because allegedly, it would make me look like, "...a gay Vegas magician." Another was rejected on the basis that he didn't want to date Liza Minelli, and a third was labeled too grandmotherly. They were all very nice, I thought.

The best part of all this is that EVERY single time I ask him about what he likes, he tells me he really doesn't notice that kind of thing, or have any opinions about it. Ha ha, riiiight.

jayne

Veteran

great stories...great to have a little chuckle with my morning coffee!

MsMaven

Veteran

How about Peter Pan? That's what my DH called me back in the 80s whenever I put on skinny bottoms and a big top. He has learned to keep quiet unless I ask his opinion.

Hil

(website)

Veteran

I also spit up my coffee at the skinny Friar Tuck comment!

I also have pants that DH often refers to as my pyjama pants.

I got a mailer from one of our clothing stores with images of the whole track pant and dressy top and heels trend that is happening and I was thinking about my DH's reaction if I ever came downstairs ready to go out in track pants and heels. He may refuse to leave the house with me.

This thread has absolutely reminded me that I should never look to my husband for fashion reassurance and take all his comments with a pinch of salt.

ManidipaM

Veteran

Florence, does your chap have a long-lost twin? Because I think I found him!

So far his best has been re: a trio of kameezes (I was attempting a capsule wardrobe) in different prints of cream, warm beige and browns. 'You look like Gangetic mud. Unfinished...' Reference is to the process of slathering temporary goddess idols in alluvial clay (which is a chalky grey, not brown or beige) before painting on the colours...

Second best: He went shopping for shirts and picked up a top for me as a surprise. To my falling face: 'Don't you like it? I thought it's just the kind of thing you like to wear: nice and colourless...'

More recently, on a colour-blocked top I was eyeing with wide horizontal bands: 'I _hate_ stripes...' (I asked what he thought of its versatility), from he who has about 5 solid shirts in his closet and at least thrice as many stripes. So me: 'Really?!' Him: 'Yes, and I _hate_ dots too.' (Some years ago, he bought me a sundress because it looked like me: in pink, purple and taupe dots.) 'Get the navy and red ikat with the studs--much more useful.'

One day out shopping, after several askance looks and clever critiques, I finally ask exasperated that he find me a few tops he finds pleasing because I am fresh out of both shirts and ideas. 'Oh but just buy anything! What does it matter? You'll look nice anyway!' Pause. Speaking look from me. 'I think you should wear more silks. Like this (black, gold dots). Or this (ecru).'

BlondeAmbition

Don't you all ladies know, never take fashion advice from a man unless he's your gay husband! Personally I don't mine skinnies on a young guy, I do like the look of a more tailored slim look of jeans than the baggy stuff most guys wear. If my husband was to shop for himself he'd look like a plumber.

Especially if men are fashionably challenged themselves, we should never listen to them. My dad for example, hates makeup and especially hates lipstick unless it's nude. My mom has these gorgeous plump lips and she looks amazing wearing a dark lipstick shade, but when my dad sees her he says "what's that stuff on your face" and rolls his eyes. For this reason she never feels comfortable wearing lipstick. It's really sad and I just wish he'd keep his thoughts to himself. Women need to dress for themselves and each other, not for men!

I once dated a guy who hated high heels.... doofus! He wanted me in sports wear and jeans and sneakers all the time. It was bizarre and didn't last long. There's a time and a place for everything, and I'm not willing to live in sneakers for any guy.

Aziraphale

Veteran

Sorry, I just realized I'd left this thread dangling and did not even click the appreciation buttons for those half of you who replied. Sorry! Fixed.

BlondeAmbition, my husband has excellent taste. So what you say may be true for some men, but when my husband says someone looks like Big Bird, she probably does. Odd about the high heels, though -- I've yet to meet a guy who doesn't appreciate them, although plenty think they are impractical for everyday wear (and, sadly, they are right).

Isabel

Veteran

I am too busy rolling on the floor laughing at the "depressed jester" to think straight !

It is funny how we make associations and then can't let go. I, for one, cannot wear pumpkin orange. Or peach and black. I just can't get past Halloween. I just can't.

Please point out to your husband that Big Bird doesn't have red hair. FWIW !

Aziraphale

Veteran

No, but my friend doesn't have red hair. It's (unintentionally) neon orange. And big bird has a huge orange beak...

BlondeAmbition

Hmm, I'm just particularly sensitive to people's commentary on women. Women are judged so harshly! I mean this woman took the time time out to put her outfit together, it must obviously make her feel good, she's quite bold and takes chances and she is rewarded with snide references to a cartoon character. I think women should be celebrated, we're knocked down so quickly by the media that it makes those around us ever ready to do so as well.

Aziraphale

Veteran

Goodness, he would never say anything like that to anyone's face! But yes, you have a point. It seems unkind to bash someone when they've obviously made an effort. Like I said, my initial reaction was that she looked quite cute, although the colour palette was eyewatering. But we all have hits and misses. That goes with the territory when you're taking a risk. Her outfit wasn't a total failure, but it was a miss nevertheless. If someone with that colour hair and that body shape posted that actual outfit to the forum asking for advice, I would have said "That dress style works great on your bod, but the colour is too much". (I wouldn't have said "You look like Big Bird", even if I was thinking it!).

Now, I know she wasn't posting to the forum asking advice, but then, nobody was offering commentary. Not to her. I think it's OK to have a reaction to something creative like fashion, as long as you're not rude. It's like with artmaking. I don't expect everyone to like every drawing or painting I make. If they want to say "WTF?" when I'm not there, that's fine. If someone makes a criticism to my face, however, I expect it to be constructive.

As for women being judged harshly...well, yes. When it comes to beauty, we are. But If I'd seen a man wearing head-to-toe yellow? I would have had to restrain myself from making humorous comments about Curious George and The Man With the Yellow Hat! In fact when it comes to fashion choices, men are judged even more harshly than women. It's one of the few areas in which we have an advantage.

BlondeAmbition

Yes, I have plenty of hits and misses myself, you're so right about taking chances and sometimes failing. It's inevitable. And it's fun and if anything at all it gives us great blooper pictures to enjoy and laugh at in our future.

What I most admire about women who take chances is that they put themselves out there. Blending in is for the weak lol! There's a balance between being daring and being attention grabbing though. For example, I think it's daring for a mortal woman civilian to go out as you described your friend. But it's a different thing if you're like Lady Gaga who seems adamant about scaring everyone with her outfits.

Isabel

Veteran

AZ, ah the poor woman !

I remember having a friend over who I have known since he was 7. I had just had my hair dyed. He kept trying not to look at it, but kept glancing at it. Finally, I said, " It's ok. I know that I look like Teriyaki Beef appetizers at the Chinese take out !" We both laughed our butts off that day.

We still talk about it 20 years later every year at Christmas.