I am the mother of a bride-to-be! My younger daughter has (almost completely) set an April wedding date.

Because you all have such great fashion sense and have been so helpful, I am sharing my shopping goals. I've already ordered and rejected one dress from Nordies, so am just beginning my quest in earnest. I hope to post "contenders" for you all to critique later!

It is planned as an evening outdoor wedding in south Texas--so expect warm, easily could be 80's though maybe cooling down a bit at night.

DD will be wearing a traditional long gown in ivory lace, but the groom and groomsmen may be much more casual as that's what the bride and groom want--a more relaxed, fun barbecue-party atmosphere. So far DD is using purples/lavenders for the bridesmaids--short not long dresses.

Oh me, oh my--fun and panic for my MOTB dress! I have such awful luck with finding dresses that work, and then the SHOES.

Here's what I'm thinking:

Probably dress 'cause that's more traditional for MOTB. (would consider pantsuit--see below).

Minds' eye: In my imagination I think of a sort of a garden-party dress (knee or tea-lenght) that looks elegant but approachable, dressy but not "cocktail" in the sense of sequins or shiny satins or nighttime-ballroom look; easy to move around and sit so I at least LOOK relaxed, don't have to keep tugging over thighs when you sit down, in some kind of lovely flattering fruity color, even a pretty print, though the right neutral could work with accessories; silk, polished cotton if looks very nice, or synthetics that look like that, not jersey knit.

I am likely to do best in some version of fit-and-flare or dress with waist definition, but not the high/empire girly version.
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Sheath dress not out of the question because the right one can look very "chic" (!) but I'm hard to fit even with alterations available. Many are too short to begin with.

Separates not out of question, using the term literally--separate top & bottom--in fact that works well with my pear type--but would need to be very coordinated, I think, to look appropriate.

Color : I don't consider I have to "match" wedding colors, but just not clash. No black or white/ivory (solids) and likely not tomato-red. Deep pinks, rose, merlot, some peaches, neutrals like bronze, taupe or olive, not soul-sucking beige or too bride-ivory--; teal isn't as good but could work; purples are good for me, but scary due to matching the bridesmaids, but print would work. I never wear typical blue or green solids but again, I'm keeping the door open because there could be tones that work if that's the only obstacle.

Goals include nice neckline--boatneck, ballet, high scoop, jewel, high V. can't wear low-V or low scoops (this isn't a good time for a cami underneath), and so many dresses have that but again, trying to stay ever-flexible, if I found the perfect dress with the perfect V for an alteration--an inset that looked like it belonged, for example--I would do that.

Sleeves: here's the rub. I don't want to "go sleeveless" and don't want to keep a stole or pashmina wrapped around me. So goal is a sleeve if at all possible--short or elbow.

Still, dresses with sleeves tend to be much harder to find, so I'm not ruling out sleeveless if the rest of the dress is great, but would have to shop separately for the perfect topper. That's a potential problem for the expected temps. i don't want to look like I have a regular blazer or cardi over my dress, don't want to wear a black jacket or a white jacket , So would want a really great silky or gauzy jacket-thingy that keeps the dressy look and brings some color; then of course that means I'm "collecting" my outfit and don't know for sure whether it'll come together.

Pantsuit--I'm a total pants person so would consider the right pantsuit but my gut feeling is that that will be hard, as I want a spring-dressy look and coordinated, not a mish-mash, and it may be too warm for a typical dressy jacket + top+ pants.

Doesn't sound hard at all, does it? ! !

I found only 2-3 potential items in the entire Nordie's line-up, and not much at Macy's, if that tells you anything. But new stuff keeps coming in, and I have still to dive into our local dept stores and boutiques and to do a lot more on-line looking. I'm prepared to go the backup plan approach where I might buy one or more items, keep tagged and hanging and watch the return dates while looking for the "perfect" one.

I haven't even let myself think about shoes, and I will definitely be old-school and wear hose--undoubtedly sheer nude, as April, so that is going to rule out all the sandals if I abide by the hose/toe police. Maybe not peep-toes.

Thank goodness my DD will be the star of the day and not me. But I'd like to look fab, nonetheless.

Thank you for reading this long wish-list. It's helping me define my search as well. Pile on if you have any MOTB pearls--I've never done this before. I'll keep you posted!