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Separated from my wardrobe

ChristelJ

Veteran

Hello Fabbers,
I have been away for a while due to being called out of state for a family emergency. This is the third time in a little over a year that I have packed a carry-on in the middle of the night to respond to a hospital calling about one of my elderly parents. Last time, my dad ended up going to long-term care, where he is doing pretty well now. This time, my mother was in a serious car accident and is slowly recovering now in a rehab facility far from my dad.

Things are under control for the moment. I am missing the joy my large wardrobe usually brings, however! Because I don't know how long I will be here, I am reluctant to have clothing mailed to me. However, it sure would be nice to dress in something other than the few t-shirts and cropped jeans I brought with me.

Here in Colorado, it is snowing today, but it was 77 degrees yesterday!
I bought a pair of booties and an inexpensive puffer for outerwear, but need something more fun to cheer me up. I have been so busy going from nursing home to rehab center every day that I have had time for little else, but now I have a little time to shop for a couple items. I don't want to overdo it, because I have so many clothes back home, but I also need to be able to handle the variable weather here. It is due to be warm again next week, but will also be cold again in the near future.

What sort of item do you think I should shop for that would be versatile and cheerful to wear? I realize "cheerful" is subjective.

As a second question, perhaps some of you have been in a similar situation, suddenly separated from your wardrobe for a length of time. If so, how did you handle it?

Shopping

29 replies

Latest reply was from ChristelJ

nemosmom

Veteran

Oh no! I am so sorry to hear about your mom! Hope she is doing well in rehab.

Could you pick up a cozy scarf or soft wrap in a happy color or pattern? Or even some cozy slippers? Thinking something small and packable, but will keep you comfortable and wrap you in a hug while you are there. Or maybe have a small package sent from home of favorite items (favorite cozy socks? scarves?)

For your second question - we moved from San Fran to a corporate apartment in Chicago and all of our things (save 2 bags) went to a storage unit for 4 months. I bought a pair of soft joggers and pullover, along with one pair of shoes and a scarf just to change things up. It gave me one extra piece across my main categories (top, bottom, shoe, accessory) so I had a little more variety to go with what I had in my suitcase.

Sending you virtual hugs and healing thoughts your way.

Sal

Veteran

That sounds like a hard year. Best wishes to your parents.

I think I would go for something like a merino hoodie or cashmere poncho. Comfy but a bit luxe. And maybe shoes of course!!

In similar situations I have found the cinema helpful for total escapism for two hours.

ChristelJ

Veteran

Nemosmom, I love the scarf idea. Definitely going to do that. Also the 4 extra pieces makes a lot of sense, especially if I can manage to make them harmonize into sort of a capsule. Wow, 4 months is a long time to be away from your things! I am one month in so far, but will be here quite a while longer than that. Thanks so much for your hugs and healing thoughts. Mom is a tough cookie and is improving.

Sal, thank you. I am a big hoodie lover and wow, a lux hoodie might be the ticket. Maybe sneakers to match.....
There is a good cinema nearby, so I will do that. I did that last time I came out here, and it helped. Thanks for the reminder.

I figured many others have been through similar experiences. It's tough to be so far from family geographically, but such a common plight these days.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

I am so sorry! Wishing you and your parents all the best. I’m sure it’s a strange mix of hard and gratifying to be able to help them.

Both the above suggestions can do double duty as clothing or a blankie, which might be helpful in waiting rooms or if you’re at a parent’s bedside for hours. Sounds brilliant.

Another cozy item that can spiff up nicely is a sweater dress. You might need to experiment with cocoon or fit n flare shapes to find one that’s jfe, but they can be sooo nice when it’s chilly, and they go well with boots too. A sweater tunic might work too.

I expected to be separated from my wardrobe for a week or two when I shipped bags before we moved overseas last year, but it wound up being a couple months. I bought a couple pairs of pants, a sweater dress, and a cardi. I was surprised by how hot it was in Berlin that fall, so was glad I had shorts in the dirty laundry that came along with us from Florida.

As long as you might be there, are there ways you can dip into community? Maybe going to public lectures or taking a cooking or carpentry class? Not to make lifetime friends, but just to have a conversation that’s not so important. Also, I recall Jenn wore most of her wardrobe year round when she lived in Denver, with just a couple seasonal things. Maybe pull out a small Colo capsule when you get home, so you’ll just have to add a couple seasonal touches to be ready to go when necessary. Remember to include colors and textures that will lift you up when you need it, like your great magenta scarf.

Volcom Move On Up Long Sleeve Sweater Dress

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Eliza J Eliza J Fit & Flare Sweater Dress | Nordstrom

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ChristelJ

Veteran

Fashintern, I appreciate your thoughts. So true that I feel lucky to be able to zip over to Colorado, but it's been really hard being the only child, and without close connections here. Things are going ok, though. We will all get through it.

Great idea about a sweater dress. Cozy and easy. Also the Colorado capsule. I actually had a summer one planned, but it's now a bit inadequate!

One thing complicating this is that before this happened, my husband and I were about to move into a fixer-upper that is not fixed up yet. We had not packed yet, so now he must move without me. Ha ha, who knows where my clothes will end up!

MidwestrnChic

Hi Christelj, so sorry to hear about your parents. I have been in a quite similar situation. My son was in the Navy and was in a motorcycle accident and in intensive care. I had two hours to pack and catch my flight. I managed to throw in enough capsule items to get me through my stay. My most prized piece was my Northface cozy fleece jacket. It was always freezing in the hospital room. Given that you have already picked up a puffer, I second the scarf idea and if it is cashmere like the find I have attached all the better! The one thing I managed to do on a near daily basis to keep my sanity was to find a gym near the hospital and slip out for an hour or two workout every day. My best wishes to you and your family.

Halogen x Atlantic-Pacific Stripe Cashmere Blanket Scarf

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Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Haha—your husband is going to accuse your mother of staging this to get you out of the packing.
Forgive me if that’s inappropriate. I hope it gave you a little laugh.
One of these days my son will have an aging mother to take care of. I hope I can make it easy for him! Also hope he’s as devoted as you are, taking a chunk out of your life like this.

ChristelJ

Veteran

MidwestrnChic, you were in a harrowing situation. I hope your son came out of it alright.
That cashmere scarf had already caught my eye today in the Finds; it's happy and gorgeous! It's never cold enough for cashmere where I am from, but it sure can be in Denver. Hmmmm....

Today I did my second workout in the month I have been here, and I hope to make it a habit now. Walks have been helping, too. I agree that exercise can do wonders. Thanks for your kind wishes.

ChristelJ

Veteran

Fashintern, laughing is a relief, and I think my husband is going to miss me even more pretty soon as usually I am both the organizer and contribute muscle!

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

That’s sooo stressful. My word! Hang in there, sweet ChristelJ. Hubs too. You are a fabulously amazing daughter. Sending healing thoughts.

Climate change is frightening...

I like the great suggestions here! Luxe hoodie, sneakers, another fun sweater or two, fun woolly scarf and a beanie. Much love to you. xo

ChristelJ

Veteran

Thank you dear Angie. Healing thoughts welcome! It is also helpful to me personally to be able to spend time reading the forum today. I have missed it!

Oh yes, I must add a beanie to the list! I feel fortified just thinking about the cozy items in my future.

Greyscale

Veteran

What a challenging set of events. I hope your mother recovers well and I hope you can get enough rest.

I remember a few years ago, someone here was in a similar situation (I think griffin) and she found that a sweater blazer was a good item: cozy, stretchy, but also polished enough that if you have a sudden need for a more professional look, you're set.

ChristelJ

Veteran

Hi Greyscale, as soon as I read your suggestion I thought of how there are times I meet with nursing staff caring for my parents and need to look like I'm to be taken seriously. Cozy yet polished would be just ideal.
Thanks, and thanks too for your good wishes.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Oh how scary and awful! Sorry you are going through this. No great advice, I of course would be looking for thrift stores to distract myself - that is what I did when I came to help my father last year after a (less extreme) health issue. I am separated from my wardrobe every summer for 4 or so weeks and I am always delighted to be reunited. Best wishes!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

This is so very hard. I sympathize.

I love all the suggestions so far. A really fun bag (that holds a lot) might be another valuable addition if you have a need or a yen. I especially recommend colourful scarves -- they can perk up your neutrals like nothing else.

ChristelJ

Veteran

Shevia, thrift stores usually do provide great entertainment and also good results for me, but I have not been having good luck with them here. It is very hit and miss, but I like the experience, so when I have time I will definitely give them another shot. I do think that I will really appreciate my wardrobe when I get it back again, just as you do! Thank you for your kind sympathies.

ChristelJ

Veteran

Suz, thank you. Good idea to keep my eye out for a fun bag. I am toting a lot of stuff around these days, everything from legal papers to warm sweaters to protein bars and a thermos. A nice tote bag could really be practical and hopefully cheery too. A scarf should be easy to find, and that's at the top of my list.

Joy

Veteran

Have been there. It not only was it the same stuff, it was not my style. My elderly parents lived in a small town where even being clean made you an outsider. Denim ruled but my parents wanted to see me in a dress. A denim dress or skirt was the perfect solution. Hospitals are really cold, especially when you are just sitting. Rehab places are too warm. Be sure you pack or know where your husband can find your funeral capsule in case of a big emergency. While planning a funeral and having had a horrific loss, the last thing you want to do is shop the local Walmart for something to wear to the funeral where you will see relatives you hardly ever see. Don’t ask me how I know! Put everything, including shoes and stockings in a plastic garment bag clearly marked for a funeral. If you have children, plan also what they should wear.

rachylou

Veteran

Oh dear. So sorry. Very rough.

I really love that scarf Midwestern suggested. And the idea of a knit blazer - super wearable. I admit I’d probably want some sneakers... I imagine a lot of running around...

Barbara Diane

Veteran

Based on the experience and advice of someone here on the forum, when I travel I include clothing that can be worn to a funeral.

Cardiff girl

Veteran

I m so sorry to hear this.l hope that your mum improves speedily.l love that stripy cashmere scarf,it is really cheering and layering seems a good way to go given the vagaries of the weather these days.

ChristelJ

Veteran

Joy, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I guess I am lucky that almost all funerals I attend are the kind where people can wear ordinary clothes, not necessarily dark or formal ones, so it is easier to get dressed.

Barbara Diane, you and Joy are certainly prepared. It could be a hardship if one was ill prepared, I admit. I am lucky my family and friends are very casual.

Rachylou, thanks, and I can totally envision those three items together all of a sudden! Think I'll take my list and go with whatever I come across most easily while doing the running around, which you are correct about.

Cardiff girl, you are sweet. Layering, yes. And cheeriness will be a priority. Nothing too somber.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

I've missed you too. Here to support and therapeutically distract in any way. (((HUGS))).

citygirldc

(website)

Veteran

I'm so sorry that you are going through all of this. We are here for you.

ChristelJ

Veteran

Thank you Angie and citygirldc. I am already feeling lifted by the support from this forum. What a special place.

Becky

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. You are a wonderful daughter.

I agree with everyone's input so far, particularly the scarf. I'd say figure out what makes you happy in a clothing item. Colors? Texture? Comfort?

I am currently living without my wardrobe too (everything in storage) and it has been 1.5 months. Colors make me happy and I underpacked for the weather. I ended up getting a very colorful scarf that helps tremendously.

Eyelash Trim Print Cashmere & Silk Wrap

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ChristelJ

Veteran

Becky, thank you. You are right, and the others are right too, about the scarf being a perfect item for this situation.

Today I bought a beautiful orange and blue patterned scarf. It will go with my navy puffer and orange crossbody, all my denim, and also several other items. It is drapy and elegant, yet cheery, and even rather fall-like in the rich color scheme. I think it's just the thing.

That is a gorgeous scarf you show above! Glad to hear it's helping you. Hooray for the uplifting power of color. I hope you don't have to go too much longer without your wardrobe.

Bijou

Veteran

Christel, sorry to hear that you are going through a tough time. Your new scarf sounds perfect and so very pretty. Packing in a hurry is tough and I know what it is like being away from home and wishing for some item that was left behind.

I hope your Mom has a speedy recovery. Dealing with illness in the family is really hard, please take care of yourself.

ChristelJ

Veteran

Bijou, thank you for the support and empathy. Mom is making steady progress, for which I am so grateful.

I have shopped enough that now I'm in pretty good shape here, except for shoes. I bought some nice sneakers at NAS here in Denver last time I was out, then mailed them back home, where they are languishing, never worn! To mail them back here again seems so silly, but I might just have my husband do that...