Peri, I hope you show us your new shorter 'do!

I guess compliments can help, but at the same time it’s how we feel inside about it that affects us most. Which is why I was at pains to say that my feelings do vary and sometimes I feel sad about my hair and jealous of others. However, I agree with Cookie that the process of changing it by using dye is a daunting one if not doing it, and in your case Peri not good for your health. So hopefully knowing your feelings may fluctuate might help you to accept the change most of the time.

I will share part of my experience, though I have no advice. When I was at what I think is the stage you are describing, my hair looked taupe to me. Not gray yet, but far from the dark brown it once was. I found I really disliked how I looked in medium to light heather grays. I liked wearing clear blue-grays, because they brought out my eyes (which are blue or gray or aqua). But heather grays just seemed to accentuate the graying of my hair and made me look and feel drab. Taupe was a much better light neutral for me. Now, several years later, my hair has gotten more gray, and I don't mind wearing heather grays. I'll still wear taupe, too.

Very good advice Sharan. Colours really are key and different greys are more tricky at different stages.

I forgot to say, what has really helped was having a good hairdresser! Especially one who can accept that my hair is a little bit wavy, and work with it instead of trying to fight it.