Seeking mother of the groom insight

Indigoprint

Eldest DS is going to marry a lovely woman in May.
They are planning a small garden wedding with less than 30 guests.
Our weather will most likely be coolish--around 60. Could be cold. But not likely warm. Colors for the wedding party are sage green and dusty blue.
I have picked out a linen dress in blue(I am a blue girl) and showed it to the bride to be to make sure it was not the same color as her bridesmaids.
Her only comment was "I will send you pictures of what my mom is going to wear and the bridesmaids. Both are lovely. However I am now seconding guessing that my choice is too casual?
Would love to hear others wedding experinces! Thanks in advance
1- my potential dress
2 -bridesmaid
3-MOB

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3 days ago

Dressing

30 replies

Latest reply was from unfrumped

Bonnie

Veteran

I love your choice.

3 days ago

RobinF

Veteran

Congratulations! I am also going to be a MOG but not until spring of 2027.

I would feel that dress is too casual if it were me, based on the other dresses. Maybe similar in a different fabric would be more in keeping but also the rolled up sleeves make it more casual.

3 days ago

JAileen

Veteran

Your dress is lovely! I think it is definitely more casual than the other two dresses.

My son got engaged this past year so I’ll probably be going through this, eventually. So far, they have zero plans. I’m encouraging them to elope.

3 days ago

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

When I get short responses like this one, I tend to read a lot into them. What I would read into this one is that the bride thinks your choice isn't quite in keeping with the occasion, and looking at the other dresses, I would think your choice is too casual. But reading into people's comments is usually not a good idea. Better would be to gain clarification from them with further conversation.

So, taking the bride's response literally, she simply shows you what the bride's maids and mother of the bride are wearing, so you can decide. My take is that your dress is too casual, given the mother of the bride's selection. I wouldn't try to match the style, but I would try to match the level of formality. Linen is lovely for a garden party, but linen won't match the level of formality of the bride's mother's dress. If you were just another guest and not the groom's mother, I would say the linen could be fine. But you'll want to look like part of the wedding party in the photos.

3 days ago

Irina

Veteran

I agree with RobinF, your dress looks too casual for the occasion Other members of the bridal party are going to wear dressier attire. Maybe linen is not a best choice for a MOTG dress. Still plenty of time to find something else, perhaps.

3 days ago

Star (Lise)

Veteran

Stunning casual dress although the bride seems to want more dressy. The style, especially the rolled sleeves along with the linen fabric make it casual imo.

3 days ago

Nadine

Active Member

I LOVE the linen dress and the way it’s styled in the photo. The two other dresses look great too. The mother of the bride dress has a nice flirty vibe.

I totally get why you’re doubting your choice. I would be doing the same given the response from the bride to be. It’s nice of her to let you know what others are wearing so that you have the opportunity to reconsider your outfit if you want to.

I looked at your profile to get a sense of what you like. I noticed you like Eileen Fisher. You mentioned Diane Keaton. A great example of someone who had her own style. The linen dress does have that vibe. The other two dresses, while also nice, are a different look and don’t seem to align with what I read in your profile.

Did you have the opportunity to try the linen dress on yet? How do you feel in it? It seems your dress will be different from the others. It would be great if you could still wear it with confidence and not be wondering if you’re dressed appropriately at the wedding. Trust yourself. If you continue to not be sure about your selection, it might be worth looking at something else that you feel great in. I hope for you that you’ll be able to stick with the vibe you enjoy. And importantly, I hope you have an enjoyable time at the wedding.

3 days ago

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Congratulations!! How exciting! I love weddings

I love your linen dress for a casual occasion, Indigoprint! Perhaps for one of the casual wedding events?

IMO, your potential dress reads far too casual for the main wedding event - especially when compared to the formal dresses of the rest of the wedding party. I'd also avoid linen and 100% rayon or 100% viscose since the fabrics crease, which does not look great on formal photos.

If you're still unsure, ask the bride if she thinks it's too casual.

Let us know if you need help sourcing a dress! You will look fab in blue

3 days ago

kkards

Veteran

Congratulations!

3 days ago

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Congratulations! I am sorry that I also feel it looks much more casual than the MOB’s and bridesmaids’ dresses. It’s very pretty so it’s up to you if you want to match them more in formality, or not. I think the bride has perhaps given you the option?

3 days ago

Carol

(website)

Veteran

I like the first dress, but it could be seen as a LITTLE too similar of a color to the bridesmaids. And then the bridesmaids' dresses, and MOB are more formal. It sounds like it may be important to the bride to match that level.
Since the other two dresses are blue, I would not do blue at all, unless you really, really want to. A grey, or pastel, or jewel tone would be great. And I would actually consider searching companies that do "mother of the bride" category.

3 days ago

Carla

Veteran

It seems to me though the event will be modest in size and the venue somewhat informal, the bride is aiming for an elegant vibe.

The colour of your dress is great, however linen as a fabric, and the style of your selection signals casual. Maybe a slubbed silk or silk crepe de chine in the same or similar colour would suit? A little shine would go far, and a fabric that doesn’t show wrinkles photographs well.

3 days ago

Sal

Veteran

Congratulations!! What a lovely occasion. I love the dress - but I agree with Angie and Sharan.

It’s a hard one sometimes - we had a beach wedding two years ago and have another one in one year.

3 days ago

unfrumped

Veteran

What Carla said.

MOG and MOB dresses can be hard though-all those boxes to tick. I’d keep looking, since time is still on your side, but you need enough lead time for tailoring and being sure you have all the support act needed.
Formality aside, I would freeze into a popsicle in a dress at 60 degrees, so I would have to figure in the right dressy topper or wrap, that can really be part of the outfit and how I’d like to look, not just huddled into a shawl.

3 days ago

Je Ne Sais Pas

Active Member

I agree linen reads less formal than the other fabrics. Also, I wouldn't pick linen for coolish weather, it feels like a fabric for super hot weather to me.

That said, your pick is indeed a lovely dress.

3 days ago

Echo

Veteran

I agree that the dress is too casual for a wedding, and agree with Angie regarding the fabric not being photo-friendly. It is a great dress, just not right for the occasion.

3 days ago

Peri

Veteran

Agree with most, it's lovely but too casual. I think the bride sending the photos was her very diplomatic way of saying this while being wary of hurting your feelings. If she didn't say "wonderful!" and instead said here, check out the other women, she's helping you feel more comfortable. Buy that beautiful dress for some other use, and buy something else for the wedding.

3 days ago

Bonnie

Veteran

I looked this up on AI because I have a wedding to go to this summer, too. AI said the MOB chooses first and the MOG should try to match the length and formality (but not exactly the same dress) and try to choose a color that harmonizes.

3 days ago

Indigoprint

Veteran

thank you all for your words of wisdom. I chuckled to myself as I mentally composed my reply to the Wise women of YLF as it made me think of that old Christmas parody Three Wise Women.
I think it clear to keep looking. I am so glad I asked as I had thought for an outdoor garden wedding at a barn it would be a good choice.
Such good insight especially linen wrinkling, while I myself do not mind it IRL it would look bad in photos for sure. Plus as many of you noted my future DIL reply was appreciatingly diplomatic.
I also think I should keep in mind it could be cool enough for a jacket of some kind and I would not want that to be an after thought.
Also thanks for style and fabric suggestions, it will help for search words as I continue to look. Thank you all for being so FAB

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3 days ago

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Congratulations to DS! And to you, as well.

Nodding along with the other responses. It seems as if the dress -- though lovely -- will read too casual, given what others are weearing. I do wonder if any of those dresses will be warm enough unless there are heaters running in May, but that is a whole other issue!

It's tricky, though, isn't it? You also want to stay true to your own style. And it seems to me that you wouldn't feel like yourself in a dress like the one the MOB is wearing.

Maybe show us some further options so we can help you satisfy your own needs, too?

3 days ago

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

First of all congratulations! Secondly, along with everyone, I read the bride's response as suggesting you might want to up the formality level. Finally, you are taking your future DIL's gentle suggestion with notable grace - bodes for a good future relationship.

3 days ago

avicennia

Veteran

Popping in to agree that the linen dress seems to be too casual. And to say that I’d personally find this a difficult dressing challenge—the MOB and bridesmaids’ dresses seem like they are synthetic, which I find unappealing and uncomfortable. And the MOB dress is twee to my eye. Unfortunately most of the wedding guest/party clothing seems to gear that way. I hope you can find a dress that fits the level of formality and is in keeping with your sense of style.

3 days ago

JAileen

Veteran

i wanted to mention Komarov. A friend mentioned the brand to me. She wore one of their dresses when her son got married a couple years ago. Some of them are a little dressier than your lovely linen dress, and some have jackets, too. I’ve looked at them because of my son, but also my nephew who is engaged. Anyway, maybe one will appeal to you:

https://www.nordstrom.com/bran.....tBrandLink

3 days ago

Aquamarine

Veteran

Agree that your choice, while pretty, will not match the level of formality the bride is indicating she wants. You have time to find something that coordinates and fits in with the wedding party. Try Nordstrom, Bloomingdale’s, Saks, Macys…they will all have lots of options at different price points. When my son got married two years ago, I shopped online exclusively because there were many more choices than brick and mortar.

Remember the photos will live forever:-)

3 days ago

Indigoprint

Veteran

Bonnie, thanks for the AI search. Interesting what one can learn!

2 days ago

kellygirl

Veteran

LOL at the Three Wise Women reference, I'm just here for the comments - Fabbers are so wise, aren't they! If in doubt, ask the collective! Good luck on the dress hunt!

2 days ago

lyn67

Veteran

Congratulations for the major family event! Agree with all here, who said that your dress is great but it seems even if it will be an outdoor garden wedding at a barn it'll be required a level up in formality. This is also better to be clarified for the other wedding guests, too (so should be mentioned on the invitations). Very curious what you will be your MOG dress of choice.
(I am long due to do a post on a family wedding we attended in August 2024 in Netherlands/Baarlo-will try to do it asap. That was also an outdoor garden wedding and the MOB, MOG & many other guests were doing some fab dressy/formal outfits-loved to see them...so you may find some inspiration there, too)

1 day ago

Indigoprint

Veteran

For me, such a fun thread. So much to think about that I had not considered.
THANK YOU for taking the time to comment.

1 day ago

Indigoprint

Veteran

lyn67 when you have time ....interested in the variety.
Thank you

1 day ago

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