Seeing Fashion and Style through a Filter - YouLookFab Forum

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Seeing Fashion and Style through a Filter

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Do you find it hard to like a look/items on others if it's not something you would wear? I see this happening on the forum/blog and I guess it's difficult to NOT see things through your own filter.

You have to have an opinion of course, and fashion/style is extremely subjective. But narrowing things down to "I like it" because its something you would wear doesn't seem right either. It's a tricky business!

Be honest. Would like to hear your thoughts

General

45 replies

Latest reply was from Ornella

cloud9

Veteran

There are certain things I just don't like, on anyone, like the goth look, pjs, etc. I am much more tolerant of most other trends, as long as the overall appearance doesn't scream sloppy, dumpy, etc., and shows a cohesiveness/put-together, and appropriate for the occasion. There are so many looks I wish I could sport myself, like those socks with sky-high sandals.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

I don't think so, since I like lots of things that I see here that I would not wear myself. But, I like what I like, and I don't what I don't. I tend to love it or hate it. We are all here to gain knowledge and insight as to how to dress ourselves, so we're obviously thinking about fashion with our own body/lifestyle in mind. It's difficult to take your filter off and still keep your goals in mind.

MsMary

Veteran

Oops, I think that was me. *shuffling my feet* Just this morning I posted that I loved sarah's outfits and would wear all of them. I don't THINK the opposite is true, necessarily. For example, I LOVE greenglove's and Sveta's looks, which are not anything like what I wear. And I adore annagybe's cutting-edge looks even though I am far more fashion-timid than she.

On the other hand, I wear certain things because I like them! And I avoid certain things because I don't like the look! So there is definitely overlap.

Lynne

Veteran

Angie, I have always wondered how you work around this in your job? I know the looks I like, and I find it hard to imagine how I could ignore that and help someone achieve a different look. Your tastes are clean and modern, is it difficult to help a client who loves a romantic or western or different look to yours?

Mo

(website)

Veteran

I think it's human nature to project yourself into/onto your opinions. It's terribly hard to be purely objective. I try and just not comment if I know I don't like something and it's really all about my own preferences, not the wearer posting. But if the issue is more of shape or proportion I think that's easier to be fairhanded with comments about it. For instance, I don't like denim shirts but have seen plenty here - I would never say, that doesn't work, you have on a denim shirt - because I know it's just my personal taste. ( I think I may have even tried to help find one for someone! ) But, yes, overall I find it's very hard to remove yourself and your tastes from the equation when commenting on whether you like a look someone has put together.

EDIT: I wanted to add that I don't just comment on outfits I'd like on me! I can, and do, appreciate many looks that aren't my personal taste. But I try and recognize when my own likes and dislikes are coming into play when reviewing an outfit or shoe style or handbag, etc.

ButterflyLady

(website)

Veteran

Gosh, I think we all have certain styles which we love - and hopefully a lot of what we love looks good on us! I wouldn't be a good stylist, though, as there are some things I just don't like (we can't like everything)!

Conversely, there are styles and shapes that I love but that I know wouldn't suit me and my body shape.

So yes, I do have a slight tendency, particularly when shopping, to filter all but my own tastes!

Carole

Veteran

I used to be more narrow in my thinking when it came to appreciating different styles. YLF has helped change that. I have a pretty conservative approach to dressing myself, still, but I have really grown to appreciate and enjoy seeing others express themselves through fashion. The more exposure, the less different or odd things seem.

Anonymous

I think that based on Angie's description, I don't look at fashion through a filter. I tend to never comment on outfit postings because I seriously like pretty much everything everyone posts. When I see comments about how things could be tweaked, I feel silly since I thought it looked great. The only times I "filter" is over PPL or if something looks vulgar. But otherwise, I admire everyone's boldness and expressive outfits. I love seeing new trends and wondering if I could do something like that. For example, today's socks/sandals post...I reacted with "that's fun and youthful" but its not for me since i don't wear shoes that high and I don't do "youthful" anymore. But maybe 20 years ago when I WAS young and fun and wore shoes that high....

HeleenH

Veteran

I guess I do to a certain degree. I have only recently learnt / am still learning which styles I can just dismiss without trying them on and that new filter may in some cases be a bit stronger than it should when looking at others. This is less of an issue when someone clearly has a completely different body shape and/or when someone has a very different taste.

Saretta

(website)

I hope I don't do that. I think a lot of people look great in things I would never wear. A good friend of mine has completely different fashion tastes than I do. She always looks great and I tell her so, but I wouldn't personally be caught dead in her clothes. LOL!

Arya

(website)

What a thought-provoking inquiry, Angie...thanks!

For me, if I see something that isn't my personal taste or style, I simply subtract that from my assessment (if the person is asking for input) and answer with the presumption that if she's wearing it, *she* must like it and that's all that matters. I also strive to only offer tweaks if the person has asked for them. If they haven't asked for advice/opinions (i.e. "Is this okay for work?" "Is this too short/tight/etc.?", I don't give it. Instead I simply offer my support or compliments, as appropriate.

As you've seen, I tend to dress in a very "different" style than most, and occasionally I receive input on ways that I could tweak an outfit that would, essentially, make it no longer "me". I find it interesting and fascinating (and never, ever offensive!) and really enjoy learning more about people through this forum - from the photos they post, the questions they ask, what they share of their own style journeys, and the feedback they give on my photos. I really appreciate how caring and respectful everyone is!

Diana

Veteran

I try to be objective but sometimes it's hard. There are certain looks (like today's socks with sandals) that I think look cute on others but not me, but I can pinpoint exactly what I don't like about the look on me (I don't have heels high enough, and the look exacerbates my skinny ankle/wide calf dichotomy). Similarly, I can easily appreciate and evaluate on others things like high necklines (not good for my short neck) or halter tops (not good for my sloping shoulders) that don't work with my body shape. Other looks, however, like drop crotch pants or even ankle length pants, are also things I won't wear, but just because I think they look unflattering or just plain odd. It's a lot harder to be objective about things like that because I can't pinpoint *why* I don't like them on myself so I think I tend to think of it as the garment's fault rather than the wearer's even though this is probably not the case at all.

On the other hand, I have definitely come around to things (like white jeans) that I did not like before after getting exposed to lots of fabulous looks here in the forum and on the YLF blog so I think it goes both ways!

Polly (thunalata)

Veteran

I think you blogged about this some time ago, Angie, and I remember saying that I thought I could appreciate looks on others that I wouldn't like for myself.

After posting that, as so often happens, I found myself thinking hard about the issue (clever Angie!) and I realised that I am not as openminded in my heart of hearts as I would like to be.

There are some looks that I find easy to enjoy on other people that there is no way I would wear myself (short shorts is the obvious one to spring to mind, but plenty of others that just aren't me) but I have to admit that there are other looks, can't think of anything as an example, that I just don't 'get'.

I think I just tend not to comment in those cases, but at the same time I welcome even negative comments about my outfits (although you lovely people are always too kind when I post) because I'm interested in how others see me and I am quite confident about my image, so if someone said something negative I would not take it to heart - what I wear is my decision in the end.

JuliaInGermany

The more I read and see here on YLF the more I can appreciate looks that I wouldn't wear. I'm always impressed when someone has a coherent and unique style. For example I really dig Arya's urban gypsy style though I would never in a million years wear it. It's just not me. I also often love very clean and neutral outfits on others though I wouldn't want to wear them. I have to admit that I still have problems with white shoes and bags. My pet peeves. I find them so ugly that I often think they destroy an outfit. Well, perhaps I'll get used to them eventually.

Looking at it from the other side I'm fine with people commenting "I simply don't like it". I take it as their personal preference and that is ok.

Queen Mum

Veteran

I think that YLF has helped me to broaden my horizons of what I enjoy seeing on others. But, of course, if you don't like something, you don't like it.... I don't see any way around that. If I see an outfit on the forum that I just don't care for, I usually remain quiet unless I can give a reason for my dislike... and usually it has to do with proportions. That is of course subjective as well....

Where this gets tricky is that we are all presenting ourselves to a world of people who have filters as well. If I put on an outfit, and only one person out of 20 on the forum likes it, that means that when I wear that outfit out of my house, most people I come in contact with are not going to appreciate the aesthetics of my outfit. Do I just shrug it off and say "well, they are viewing my style through their own filters?" I could, but I'm still leaving an impression about myself on everyone I come in contact with based on my outfit choice. I want to wear things that leave people with a positive impression of myself.

So, if I look like a clown, I want to know that... I don't want the forum to just remain silent because they are viewing my outfit through their own "anti clown suit" filter.

Diana

Veteran

Just had another thought about this...

On yay or nay posts, I always make a point to actually leave a comment (rather than just voting) if I vote nay. I find it really helps my objectivity if I have to articulate *why* I don't like something, plus I feel like the poster deserves to know why I voted nay.

Lisalou

For me, the funny thing is that I see fashion through a filter when it pertains to myself. I realized that reading the recent blog post on breaking out of a style rut. I can very much appreciate looks/styles on other people, but then I think of myself "I could never wear that." *Could* never wear that, not *would* never. I'm trying to adjust my thinking, though, and start to question why I think I could never wear something. I think I tend to be much more accepting/appreciative of others' fashion sense and risks than my own! (of course like PPs, there are definitely things I just don't like on anyone...)

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Very wise and wonderful comments here! You gals are amazing.

It really is quite hard if you think about it. Where are the boundaries of your filter?

Polly, I bring up this question every year for new forum members, while giving Veterans a chance to rethink their perspective - which you just did

MaryK, you should absolutely say when you would wear something! I find your filter particularly open.

Lynne, it's really hard to NOT be influenced by your own style preferences unless you train yourself to do so. It's like getting "style-fit". Some people can walk around the block, others can run a marathon. In my line of work, I have to run 20 marathons in one day - but I have had almost 2 decades of practice (getting style-fit). But I still train hard and ponder things all the time. There are very few looks that don't make it through my style filter. I *still* ponder these looks each season to give them another fair chance, and own up when the penny has dropped.

For the record, I do not NOT comment on threads when I feel the look isn't working to my eye. I just can't get to every thread!

Carole

Veteran

This relates to interior design-an Interior Designer can't just have one style they utilize to decorate all the houses. They have a personal style that may find it's way in, but ultimately it's someone elses house and their needs and style preferences must be relected.

Heather

Veteran

I always try to keep an open mind of the person's body type and--the longer you stick around, here and get to "know" people--personality.

There are tons of things that I wear that many would never consider, but I feel they work for me and certainly vice versa.

I do feel that I can appreciate most trends even if they don't work for me. They most likely work for someone fabulous and makes them feel awesome.

I love so many pieces or entire outfits posted here that I inquire for shopping details.

I always LOVE honest feedback on my posts. Please, please do comment on it--even if it isn't your favorite. I do like feedback.

taylor

Veteran

I used to be more biased, but I love fashion, so If someone wears something I would never wear...I look a little deeper, does it suit their personality, style, color preference etc.

I am more critical when women my age dress like teens or reveal too much skin...I am working on that:)

Vani

Veteran

Nope, not at all. Except for the wearing of leggings as pants, utra-low rise + visible thong, cleavage spillage, crotch high hems and other such things, I think I can wholeheartedly appreciate 99.9% of all facets of fashion <underline>when done right</underline>.

Aziraphale

Veteran

Well, I think it's nearly impossible to be completely objective about any topic, and fashion is no exception. I can appreciate some looks on others, even if I wouldn't wear it myself (the ankle socks with sandals is a good example), but other times, my mind just screams nononononooooo. For example, I cannot get my eye to adjust to harem pants, no matter how cute you insist they are, Angie! And I usually agree with you on style issues. That's what got me reading your blog in the first place. You've got a good eye and you dress with style and flair.

I think I'm being honest here. I try to be open minded in all things. Here's a related example: my mother-in-law recently bought a new sofa for her living room. It's stark white, and before I saw it, I thought I'd hate it. But you know, it totally works with the rest of her decor. She has style and a good sense for interior decorating, so even though she often chooses things that I would never pick for my own house, I can completely appreciate and enjoy them in her house.

Polly (thunalata)

Veteran

Angie - how funny. I'm imagining that blog post being a couple of months ago, but just realised it was probably quite a bit longer ago!

Gaylene

Veteran

This discussion brings to mind a comment from someone whose insights I've always appreciated: "It's easier to get through filters if we acknowledge that we have them and that they influence our perceptions of the world around us."

Like most of the commentators on the forum, I like to think that I am open-minded enough to enjoy a variety of proportions, styles, body shapes, etc. But, acknowledging that I am influenced by my personal preferences and prejudices makes it easier to understand why my immediate reaction to some photos is "Oh, no-- don't wear that!" even though others make approving comments. Horses for courses, to paraphrase Angie.

Queen Mom raises an interesting point, however. How closely do the filters of those who comment in YLF forums reflect the filters found in our "real" worlds? Can negative comments made by friends and family be dismissed as "rude" or "ignorant" because they don't like a YLF-approved outfit? By keeping negative reactions to myself, do I restrict the feedback that those who are brave enough to post their pictures actually want? Or, as I rationalize, do posters want the support provided by YLF to dress in a way that they want regardless of what others may think? Do any of the other commentators in this forum wrestle with these questions?

Barbara

Veteran

What a great discussion! I tend to look at others' fashions with a designer'/artist's eye. I appreciate style/aesthetic and may make a mental note to TRY something similar. Or decide I don't like it and move on mentally.

I have very strong opinions about what I like and don't like and I usually keep them to myself! I do have to bite my tongue occasionally.

But what someone else wears is really not my business. I'm not their mama OR stylist!

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Of course it's easier to like something that we would choose to put on our own bodies -- that's only natural. I'd be lying if I said I didn't look at others' outfits through my own particular filter, which is comprised of my body type, age, coloring, lifestyle, taste, etc.

However, I can certainly appreciate when someone rocks a look that I would pass on for myself. I've done it here many times. I don't have to want to wear something to think it looks great on someone else!

I laughed when I saw this thread because of my rather terse reply to Angie's "socks and sandals" blog post this morning. I will totally admit that I don't love that look, but it's not just because I wouldn't wear it. I dunno, it always seems a little... infantilizing maybe? Or it reminds me of the 80s and not in a good way (like that old ZZTop video). However, I have seen some people, including some here on YLF, who make it work.

RoseandJoan

Veteran

I love when an outfit or item clothing expresses something intangible about that person. I feel I know certain members of the YLF community because their style can speak louder than the written word. Of course there are styles which reflect my preferences and styles which are polar opposite but I love the story an outfit tells about a person and their day.

My personal exception (as you may know) is cardigan, my filter is blocked so I try to be upfront about how my personal preferences is impacting on how I see the outfit.

Recently I posted a thread about a green blouse with an orange skirt, I found the replies fascinating, some preferred the look as is, some wanted to add another element whilst for others admitted it would never set their world alight. I was happy with the replies as it gave me the knowledge that whilst I may like the look (and plan to wear it soonish) many would find the pairing bizarre.

I think the last time I posted on this thread I mentioned that a black sheath dress was one of my favourite looks but at that time it did not fit with my personal style. Well guess what? My style is heading in that direction now.

I'm also curious about how I will perceive in the future the romantic look I'm leaving behind, will I feel nostalgic or will I feel an aversion, I will have to wait and see.

Sveta

(website)

Veteran

I don't think my filter is like "I would wear it / I would not wear it" at all. There are a lot of looks on YLF I admire but I cannot / would not wear. TX Sarah is a great example: I admire her posts and outfits but every time I try to copy her looks it just does not feel right to me. I still cannot figure out why! Other looks just plainly wrong for my age or my body type but I still admire them on others.
I think my filter kicks in when aesthetically the look is not pleasing to my eye or just leaves me indifferent. Often it is proportions or colors or balance but sometimes I cannot identify the reason for it. I try to keep an open mind but it is hard!
There is also an adjustment factor: some looks I "filtered" out before I like now more and more: Anna's edgey style is a good example as I learn to appreciate it more and more now.

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