Saving vs wearing the heck out of your clothes... - YouLookFab Forum

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Saving vs wearing the heck out of your clothes...

gryffin

Veteran

I was reading Susie's post about her beautiful cashmere poncho and she quoted Angie about how important it is to wait for that perfect piece and then wear the heck out of it. That stopped me cold in my tracks and really made me think. I am so totally on board with "picky, perfect, practical." No question my happiness factor is so much higher when I wait for these things in that iconic piece. So the moment happens and you pounce and you are now delirious with joy....okay, then what. You have it. It's perfect and it many never occur again. Ever. Not in the same way. Now what? Now to be fair, I am a long term shopper. There are things in my closet that are close to 20 yo that I still love and wear. I have AT jackets which were so perfect and well made from the late 80's and early 90's that I've had them relined and do you know what....I still can't replace them. The material, the drape, the finish work, the proportions, to this day, are everything I want in a jacket. I've babied them but I still can't let them go and their replacements, nice as they are, are a pale shadow at best. So now, when I find that perfect thing, I do one of two things. If I can get and afford a spare (Gibson riding jacket I'm thinking of you), then yes, I wear it to death. If it is too expensive and I adore it, I do wear it sparingly because I want it to last a long, long, long time. Curious if people live in the moment, enjoy and move on, or are you hoarders like me?

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56 replies

Latest reply was from gryffin

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Ongoing subject here . . . I want to wear my good stuff (see lounging in leather skirt yesterday lol) but I often subconsciously save anyway. I have to fight it. You have a point on the one hand of wearing it out and then no longer having the perfect _____. BUT, I have come to find that 5 years down the road it's probably time for a subtle change to that perfect _____ anyway, so you may as well get your wear out of it. There may be few, very few exceptions to this, but as a rule I find it to be true. I also have a skirt old enough to drink hanging in my closet, and it's not going anywhere either ha ha.

Anonymous

I used to save but now I don't. Part of the life cycle of an object is to get used up and refashioned, and I am sure there will always be something out there for me. It won't be the same, and that is fine!

Aquamarine

Veteran

Oh this is so my problem! I will find the perfect *something* and then it's like I am waiting for the perfect occasion to wear it....which may never come. Or I am afraid of ruining it somehow. And then a year or two will pass and I will have worn it only a handful of times. What a waste.

rachylou

Veteran

Certain items I do save because they're so right. Others, I wear them until they're dead (usually within the year).

carter

Veteran

Yikes...hoarder exactly like you! I ordered a pair of pants a couple weeks ago. When they came, they were PERFECT, so I went to order another pair so I could start wearing these. None left to order! Now what?!

Alassë

Veteran

I wear & enjoy but worry about wearing out at the same time.

annagybe

(website)

Veteran

What's the point of buying clothes if you are not going to wear them?
I mean heck, I have a shoecase in my living room, but I still wear the shoes.

Anonymous

I'm most definitely not a hoarder. I get a lot of wear out of most of my clothes, and a good amount of wear out of the rest to make them worth keeping until they wear out. But when they wear out, and they eventually do, I ruthlessly replace them with something more up to date. I can't think of anything I owned back in the '80s or '90s, or even 10 years ago, that I'd want to have back in my closet now. Subtle (and not so subtle) style differences date things to the point where I no longer want to wear them. So I enjoy what I have while I can, and then move on.

K. Period.

Veteran

I wear the heck out of things. The few things that I have tried to save have not worked because there are subtle differences in fit and tailoring that make them read as dated: lapels change, shoulder fit changes, length changes and sleeve fit changes. Angie stresses that everything needs to be updated, even "classics." I could not agree with her more. I just gave away a great 1990s Ann Taylor suit in a fantastic fabric and style that I finally fit into again last spring. I'd kept it all that time, through several moves, so that I could wear it when I fit it again. But when I tried it on, the lapels were dated (too big, too rounded), the buttons too big, and the fit on the skirt not nearly what I wanted. It had to go. For me, those subtle differences were very important and they helped me send the suit along to a better home. After that, I've focused even more than before on wearing the heck out of my new things. It just works better with my style preferences.

Mary Beth (formerly LBD)

(website)

Veteran

I used to be a saver. Then a couple of years ago, I pulled a rarely worn silk Anthropologie jacket out of my closet. Buttons had fallen off (I recovered all but one), the fabric had deteriorated, grown more fragile. I realized, it doesn't matter if you save, clothes still deteriorate, gather dust, or suffer mishaps, such as moths or humidity. So I wear the jacket - and I try to wear other 'nice' items whenever I can.

Wouldn't it be nice to know that you wore the item you loved before it wore out?

MsMary

Veteran

I look at clothing as a consumable. We've discussed this before, but even though "trench coats" or "white blouses" or "navy blazers" are always in style, the details change over time. I'd rather enjoy my beautiful, fashionable pieces as much as possible while they look fresh, and replace and update them as appropriate.

Anonymous

Great question!

I do have to correct you though...perfect isn't one of the P's.

http://youlookfab.com/2012/01/.....principle/

Patient is the other P. As a perfectionist who thought one of the P's was "perfect" I had a very difficult time buying clothes for a bit until I figured that out

It is almost as if you crawled into my head though. Just yesterday I found the jeans for me. THE JEANS!

They aren't perfect in every way but they are perfect for me. So I bought two more pairs. Ironically enough I have been willing to spend $200 on the perfect jeans, but these were only $17.00. For some reason the brand Jolt gets the fact that I have legs. I would have duplicated a $200 pair eventually, but would have been very very careful with my jeans. Now I can wear them without worrying. Bottoms are so hard for me to find that I am starting to duplicate a lot so I don't have to worry.

Purses on the other hand I don't worry about.

Thistle

Veteran

I am trying to wear the heck out of clothes. I still horde the good things too much.

Life is too short not to wear what you love!

gryffin

Veteran

Mo - still chuckling over the skirt old enough to drink. Yes, I guess a goodly portion of my most beloveds would be properly aged at this point!!
Ceit - that is so circle of life. I wish I could be like you. But then again I collect antique furniture, china, objects, and like certain pieces of clothing, to me are irreplacable. I wish I could live more in the moment the way you do. Such a great attitude!!
Aquamarine and Anna - I think for me, it's not that I don't wear it those perfect pieces. I do and I enjoy them immensely. But I don't wear them as much as I could. I could wear my new HL tux jacket pretty much everywhere including work. It's that versatile. But I will choose to wear it for my nice occasions but I won't put it in harms way (hot, sweaty, dirty), if that makes sense. I'll be picky, perfect and practical in choosing its outtings! So I am more about do you wear these pieces to death vs wear them sparingly.
Rachylou - I know those disposable pieces!! But I am still ticked off when I only get a year out of something. Seems the quality and longevity has gone out the window.
Carter - major duplicator here and proud of it. If one is good surely 4, identical of course, would be better. Then I have no qualms about saving the beloved item!!
Ruth - wow, I am so impressed. You are clearly a person who is always enjoying the now and looking toward the future. I'd be interested if this extends across the board..is this the same with decorating, furniture, objects?
K - that is so sad about the suit. I did not mean to imply that everything can or should be saved. But I am sure many of us have pieces, like best friends, that are perfect. I do have jackets that I've literally worn out. The style is not what I would wear today. But I have a couple, I can only compare them to classic bags like a chanel or hermes, that are really still beautiful and timely. It's those pieces that I have trouble with!!
LBD - so sad about the the jacket. Silk is tough. Natural fibers and so fragile. That's rock and hard place easily damaged if you wear but fragile to keep. Very difficult. But again, I probably was unclear. It's not that I think we shouldn't wear our beautiful and beloved things, the question is do we wear them to death or do we wear them selectively. As Anna said no reason to have them if you don't wear them, but it's how much wear and how selective the circumstances, do we get or not get, with the beloved ones.
MaryK - gosh you just embody Blake's "He who binds to himself a joy, doth the winged life destroy. But he who kisses the joy as it flies, lives in eternity's sunrise!!" I on the other hand, will be dragging out my "mind forged manacles" to pin my joys down a little longer. So much for the "winged life!!"

gryffin

Veteran

Mtgirl - OMG thank you, thank you!! Bad griffin!! Don't you hate when someone misquotes?!! So thank you for the link and the correction!! Although I may have to make a personal 4 "P" rule, since obviously I am in perfect mode and I used to settle, so picky, patient (yes I need this too how could I have forgotten), practical, is all about perfect to me. Wow, great score on the jeans!! I do well with Lucky jeans and out 4 pr of Lola skinnies (upsized since I like the slouchy skinnies) and when the first knee split I was still serene!!
Thistle - you have such a great attitude!! I agree totally life is too short not to wear what we love. I just don't want to help being selective how much and where I wear those beloved things!!

unfrumped

Veteran

More wearing and less saving here. I didn't really realize I was saving nor the repercussions. Also I've much less faith in clothing longevity despite some efforts to purchase items I thought would be quite lasting.
Also realized that having a lot of duplicates (cashmere and wool sweaters, I'm lookin' at you) is a form of saving, since I can't wear all of them frequently enough.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

My question is if you don't wear the stuff you love what do you wear? I think it's okay to nurse a couple of pieces in your wardrobe that you love & can't replace but if you are doing with most of your wardrobe, at the expense of your current self, I would think this is not such a good strategy.

unfrumped

Veteran

caro, exactly! So pithy and to the point as usual.
I need to tape that to my wall. If not....what? Why?

gryffin

Veteran

Caro - it's not saving vs wearing. It's more, do you burn the candle at one end or both ends? In Susie's post, I got the feeling that she was going to take that poncho and literally wear it to death. For example, I love my long jackets and have trouble replacing them. I will only wear them once/wk maximum. I love my Jeffrey Campbell alexia ankle boots. I could wear them every day and die happy. But I limit their outting to 1 max 2 times/week. Perhaps I should say do you ration your wears of "precious" articles vs wearing them as much as possible. Does that make more sense?
Unfrumped - that is a very good point about the quality and longevity of today's clothing. I think we've seen a lot of posts on that problem despite some hefty price points. That is why I do duplicate, if it's financially possible, when I love something because I can not count on its durability.

ironkurtin

Veteran

Gryffin, my most treasured pieces are Helmut Lang jackets and Betsey Johnson dresses from the early 90s. The Betseys are in storage for my kiddo - I'm convinced that when she hits the teens she will rock them hard!

I also finally, finally, finally donated my Guess jeans shorts, once Guess jeans, that I bought when I was 13. I kept and wore them for 30 years! And now I'm wondering why I let them go. : (

Oh right. Unmendable hole in the crotch. BUT STILL!!!

Anonymous

I am a/an (bio)archaeologist -- being immersed in thousands of years of stuff has made me look at the world a little differently

gryffin

Veteran

IK - Wow, I feel your pain acutely!! I know that many others may not agree, but I think there are pieces that we buy that are truly iconic. They suit our bodies, needs, temperaments, and authentic style. They don't come along often and imho they deserve some discrimation and delicacy to preserve their longevity while most definitey wearing and enjoying them!! That is so special about saving you BJ's for your daughter. I can't think of a more wonderful gift to share. I am sure she will be so thrilled when you give them to her!!

Ouch, on the guess jeans shorts. I do have one small box of sentimental saves that I don't wear, but that is very select. HL is new to me. I have never spent so much on a jacket but it is also the first time I actually saw how design and construction of a garment made my body look more graceful and elegant. As you will understand, I will be wearing and enjoying my new treasure but I will be careful, caring and just a bit chary to make sure it lasts for at least the next 20 yrs!!

gryffin

Veteran

Gosh Ceit that is totally fascinating!! I wish I could sit you down and get your take on things. I am absolutely sure that your thoughts would provide me with a completely new insight and perspective. You realize I am going to have to google bio- archeologist!! I know archeology but bio - wow all the amazing fields I know nothing about!! Off to wikipedia!!

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Ooh, Gryffin, by your definition, I'm rationing just about everything! I don't think I wear anything once a week. Maybe my Birkenstock sandals to the mailbox . . . but seriously, I even have more pj's to rotate to last me more than a week at a time.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I don't ration...but then I don't have to ration. I don't have a large wardrobe. By my recent counting, it's still small in YLF terms. But even so, I have far more clothes than I can wear in a week. At the same time, if something tickles my fancy and I feel my best in it and it suits my purposes for the day (i.e. it is practical to wear it) and I want to wear it multiple times, then I'll wear it multiple times a week.

Then again, my purposes are usually casual and the clothes I'd pick are durable. So there's no real need to worry that they'll fall apart right away.

I suppose some clothing items are iconic for us in a sense....that was one of the insights from your earlier thread about wardrobe essentials. But I always feel that I'd want an updated version.

viva

Veteran

I am very much like Ruth -- I wear the heck out of my clothes and tend to reach for favorites over and over, but when they are done, out they go. I am one of those mothers whose daughters had to go begging from someone else's closet for 80's day at school, because I don't keep anything! I think the only clothing keepsakes I have held onto are (1) my wedding dress (made by a seamstress for $350) and (2) the first major piece of clothing I bought for myself, when I was 20: a leather bomber from Banana Republic (the OLD Banana Republic) for $120 (a FORTUNE to me). That's it. I'm just not sentimental about clothing after I feel the fit or fashion have started to decline. I've definitely regretted some purges; on the other hand, I maintain a very manageable closet so it's not too bad in the long run.

gryffin

Veteran

OMG Mo - so impressed!! I have two sets of winter sleep duds (not that I can't jury-rig something) Leggings, tank and tunic sweatshirt. One on and one in the wash. I cannot imagine all that choice!! Very splushy!! Oooooohhhhh I do wear my merrill breeze mocs/merril ice every single day but as you can imagine I am always hoarding new pairs and when the ice were discontinued I bought the last 2 pr on amazon!!

gryffin

Veteran

Viva - I stand in awe! As long as you are happy with your closet that is absolutely all that matters. I do not like change, nor do my tastes tend to change, although as I discussed with Caro on another thread, evolution in all things is key (evolve or die!!)!! I think it's great if you embrace change and like to reinvent you look!! Major kudos!!

gryffin

Veteran

Suz - I too have worn items that I love multiple times in a week. I think that worked better in the past because I did find the clothing more durable eventhough I try to buy good quality items. Because of that, I think I've started to be just a little more careful about frequency of wear since I just can't count on an item holding up (unless I've duplicatedI in which case I'll go for it!!) It sounds like you have no regrets about evolution. Again my hat is off to such a balanced and intrepid perspective!!

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