SAHM doldrums - YouLookFab Forum

Well I managed to make a trip to the library this morning with my 3 young daughters. My outfit, I thought, was OK ish and I had even blow dried my hair. As I closed the car door after fastening them all in, about to go, I realised I wasn't wearing any makeup and my children's clothes were stained! But we had already had numerous holdups (won't bore you with them all) and hadn't even got out of the house til after 11am so I just kept going. Once actually at the library I discovered the nice pink wool coat I was wearing was also dirty! I am sure anyone looking at us all would have noticed all those drawbacks and not any good points in my outfit. Sometimes it is so hard to get all these things right and doesn't seem worth making an effortwith the clothes. This isn't to say I haven't appreciated Angie's SAHM flop proof outfits, on the contrary. I thought that they were great. I guess I wanted to express the feeling that even though SAHM like me might want to look fab it can feel like the odds are stacked against us, and you have to make a choice about looking decent or ever getting to where you need to go!

17 years ago

Ana

(website)

Veteran

Oh no, Anne--it sounds like maybe you're having a bad day? (Which happens to all of us from time to time). I'm sorry. Is there anything we can do to help?

Dani

Anne, my outfits don't stay clean all day I usually take my pictures first thing so that I can be assured that I'm clean. Usually, within minutes, I've been used as a kleenex, napkin or given a very messy hug. You have days that are worse than others but if anyone judges you, shame on them. You have THREE little ones. Don't be too hard on yourself You did a great thing taking your girls to the library and I guarantee they'll remember the trips you took them on and not that they were wearing clothes that were stained or that you weren't wearing makeup!

Hope you have a better day tomorrow

julijuli

Active Member

Anne - it does sound like you were having a tough morning. I think it's great that you got the kids out of the house and did something together! I think sometimes on those 'tough' days, we feel like everyone is looking at us but they really aren't. More likely is that they are looking at your beautiful kids and thinking how lucky they are to have you there.

Anonymous

Although I am a grand mother now, I still remember the trials of having small children and am amazed at the SAHMs here who take the effort to look so nice. You all get an award in my book.

shell

anne, perhaps today wasn't your best fashion day, but i'm sure you still looked fab! not being a mother, i can't quite relate to the situation, but i agree with ana that we all have bad days.

as julijuli mentioned, i'm sure no one noticed. we really are our own worst critics.

while looking great can seem to be somewhat of a challenge when you have so many other responsibilities, what's most important is that you feel great. and hopefully spending time with your children and having fun with them will get your mind off the slight imperfections.

minivanmom

Well, I'll tell you, I have 3 kids 7 and under. Getting everyone up, fed, dressed (not neccessarily adorably fashioned!!), out the door and buckled up safely is NO picnic. It is stressful. And chaotic. And noisy. There is always someone that has to go potty or can't find their shoe or wants to know if they can take this toy or that toy. Can't tell you how many times I've been driving only to look in the rearview mirror and realized that one child hasn't brushed her hair and the other still has the remnants of breakfast on her face AND I forgot to put on my makeup. Seriously, I UNDERSTAND! Any good mother of any age would not have noticed your clothing...they would have commended you for having your girls AT the library. Enjoying them and making an effort to teach your girls to love books. And I can guarantee that there can't be any involved SAHM that is actually still clean by lunchtime. I'm with Dani, I'm taking my pics first thing in the AM!! Kudos to you for making the effort with your girls and yourself! I think you must be doing fantastic.

judy

Oh, Anne, what woman who has ever been a SAHM can't relate to what you are saying? Taking care of children can be so overwhelming at times.

On a recent trip home to see my parents, I saw some candid photos of my kids when they were very little (now in college) in a slide show we were watching. I was so surprised to see how stained their clothes were that they had on! Apparently it wasn't on my mind back then. I figured I must have been paying attention to other things!...like their sweet little faces, whether they were hungry or tired, keeping them out of harms way (two wild boys)...washing their clothes, cleaning the house, doing grocery shopping with children in tow...going to the library, or outings like the zoo, like you all write about.

(On the other hand, I was surprised that I didn't look so bad...for the late 80's that is :). )

There is only so much you can do, and we don't have to saddle ourselves with trying to fulfill concepts of being perfect women or perfect mother's. Do enough for yourself clothing wise...with Angie and forum members help, and maybe a bit of lipstick if you do that...that you still feel like you in the whirl of motherhood and you can be pleased with yourself, and confident. Then they get a satisfied woman to be their mom. THAT's what they will remember, your state of being, not whether their clothes...or yours(!) have stains. ( and they were so adorable in those old photos!...that is what's important)

Sorry if it's too philisophical, but it's a twenty years later perspective. And I just want to save you some time and anguish, if I can, in your pursuit of fab-ness!...with children!

Becky

Oh, Anne, I totally empathize! It's overwhelming sometimes. You are a *good* mum, and the vast majority of people understand if a mom isn't completely put together. I agree with the comment already made, the valuable time spent with your children is what they will remember.

anne

Thanks guys! What a wonderful and empathetic lot you are! Can't write much more now, as it is morning again over here and I seem to be on track to getting ready today. I got up earlier and showered and dressed and am now incased neck to toe in my matronly like dressing gown to keep me clean til I head out the door!

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