s-l-o-w transition to gray - YouLookFab Forum

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s-l-o-w transition to gray

MsMaven

Veteran

July 26, 2013 was the last time I had "color the gray" hair coloring at the salon. I tried highlights for a few months, but my hair was way too blonde. (Despite very blonde sisters, I was never meant to be a blonde.) Then we added some lowlights and it was way too dull and dreary. So now I am just getting a few highlights every 3-4 months, most recently about 3 weeks ago, but I think I am done.

My natural color turned out to be much darker than I expected--most of the lighter hair are still on the top. I was surprised by this.

Not sure the photos show it well, but I am now definitely more gray than blonde. The first two photos are from professional cruise photos last October--still more blonde after a year. The rest are from a recent trip. You can get a better idea of the change in the photo with the baby.

If I had it to do over, I would seriously consider just cutting it short and forgetting about highlights. My hairdresser did tell me that it would take about two years to transition. I don't like short hair, but by now it would all be the real me. I did have her cut layers, but this doesn't work so well with my fine hair, but it did get rid of a lot of the extra-blonde locks.

I still don't recognize myself when I catch a glimpse in the mirror. Colors I liked to wear don't look right, and so I'm trying different ones. Feeling a bit discombobulated lately. I'm done with the hair coloring though.

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21 replies

Latest reply was from qfbrenda

Meredith

Veteran

Well, I sure can't tell you're feeling discombobulated. I really like your cut and it seems the gray is starting to grow in nicely. I hope you're able to have fun figuring out new colors to wear and won't be too disheartened! Looking forward to reading about the progress.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I agree with Meredith! It looks great. I know the blonde-to-grey transition can be trickier than a lot of people think, but it does look pretty graceful to me.

I fear the transition I will have someday -- I really like my hair dark and don't want to give it up!

shiny

Veteran

Pic 4 - color looks quite lovely!

You didn't say - what was your original color? As a kid, and ate say late 20s?

catgirl

Veteran

I think it looks great! I'm biased of course. I still do a double take but generally the financial benefit, time, and lack of stress over growout is so worth it.

Anonymous

I agree with Alaskagirl! I saved so much money when I started growing in my grey last year. I think your natural colour looks fantastic, and it seems like you're almost there on growing out the blond. The grey cardi in pic 5 will look brilliant with your 'new' hair.

Elizabeth P

Veteran

Your hair looks like it will be a really pretty, soft shade. You have my total understanding on the pain of the transition, but once you are done, I think you will be happy. It's very hard to explain, but not colouring is very freeing.

Hang in there, good luck, and I think there are enough of us on here who will be happy to offer support should you need it!

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

It took me a long time to get used to the accidental glance in the mirror, particularly in dressing rooms, but eventually I did. My hair is getting more grey all the time so the color thing is a constant evolution. Much more graceful on a blonde like you!

deb

Veteran

I like the color in #4. It looks very soft and lovely. Do you find deeper, richer colors are looking better on you now?

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

You hair is so gorgeous in pic 4, where we can see the whole effect. Really, really lovely. It doesn't look "in transition." It does take time to adjust to a new hair color, especially as it continues to change! I was getting used to my "taupe" hair, and then I realized it's continuing to get lighter all the time. It's a moving target.

Carla

Veteran

Nice colour in my opinion. The grey looks silvery. Lighter coloured women don't seem to have as dramatic a transition as the darker haired types...just a slow fade to silver, sand, or white.

Since my transition (completed last month) I've become a huge fan of white, and am converting from black to dark blue (ink/navy/indigo) as my main neutral. Ice blue is popular this season, and working well for me. I'm not a huge fan of pastels, but I've got to admit they are flattering to fair coloured folks.

Your pics almost all feature dark tops. Have you tried going lighter?

Anonymous

What Firecracker said. Your hair looks great and not like it is in transition. Also what Shevia said. It is going to continue to slowly change, even after all the blonde is gone. Grey will probably become more silvery and white. Your hair looks like it has wonderful texture.

MsMaven

Veteran

The "real" me--late 40s and early 50s. I had a much greater contrast between hair and skin. My hair was very slow to start turning gray, so I didn't start coloring until I was in my mid-50s. A few years ago I took these photos to my hairdresser to show her how light my color had become over the years. She was surprised because she had been using the same formula. This change must be a challenge for all high-contrast and medium-contrast women--to adjust to a low-contrast look.

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MsMaven

Veteran

Runcarla, I feel washed out in light colors. Almost as if I have disappeared into the wallpaper. I do realize that soon I need to do a re-evaluation. Until lately I didn't realize how much of "me" is tied up in my hair. I've always worn beige and camel happily, and never liked gray.

Thanks for all the positive feedback. This does make me feel better.

Gaylene

Veteran

The muting effect of graying hair IS disconcerting, but I actually think our palettes get wider because our colouring becomes more neutral instead of skewing either warm or cool. If you've been wearing mostly warm beiges and camels, you might want to give cooler versions, like taupe, a try. And don't forget to grab an eyebrow pencil. Hands down, that is the best way to add some contrast and counter that faded look; the difference is dramatic enough that my husband notices if I forget to use one.

Adelfa

Veteran

You inspire me, MsMaven! Coloring my hair was a lot more fun when I wasn't trying to cover gray. Someday I too will be done with the time and expense of coloring, though I'm not there quite yet. In the meantime I love seeing women who've gotten to that point. You look great. Hooray!

Lyn D.

Veteran

I am considering doing this at the moment, so thank-you for your post!

dakotacheryl

Veteran

Such a soft and pretty color, and your hair looks nice and healthy!!

Beth Ann

Veteran

Your natural grey has quite a bit of shine. I also think the darker bits add some depth and contrast -- which can be helpful through the transition. Your "earlier" natural color was that lovely, undervalued toffee shade that I think is amazingly flattering.

If it makes you feel better, as a high-contrast woman, I also bemoan the fact that lower contrast is almost always perceived as being more "chic." I think earlier posters are correct when they say that your lower contrast will allow you a broader scope of colors to choose from. What about cooler blues? Particularly ink blue?

tulle

Veteran

I agree with everybody's comments and wish you felt more at ease with your new color. Looking at the older pictures, I think I see what might be bothering you: you had quite a bit of red in your natural color, so you probably just don't feel like yourself in cool, silvery shades. (I think redheads have the hardest time going gray.) If I were you, I'd go shopping one day with only color-testing in mind. Try on some things you wouldn't expect to like, and look at your face. When the color is right, your features will snap into focus, and your skin will look brighter. I think that color combos may be the key, with off--white touches being really important to lift darker colors like espresso brown (great with your dark eyes) or charcoal. Navy & coral with off-white could be fresh for Summer. For rich cold-weather colors, maybe forest green and browned berry red. And try some different metallics like silvery bronze, metallic greens, pewter. A new lipcolor might make a big difference, too. Transitions are the time for experiment and play--your hair looks lovely, so have some fun with it!

MsMaven

Veteran

Beth Ann and Tulle, I did have a lot of red in my original color. My Mom frequently observed that redheads have a hard time turning gray.

Other than navy, denim and some shades of aqua I've never felt good in blue, but that has changed a lot in the last year or so. I find that ink is great, as is cobalt. Kind of a surprise for me. Shades of orange and salmon I once loved don't seem right, and indeed it is a process of discovery.

One reason I wanted to quit coloring was that my hair was getting dried out and like straw. I've always had shiny hair, and I'm relieved that it looks shiny again.

Thanks for the feedback, everyone.

qfbrenda

Veteran

Looks great! I'm glad you were able to do the transition gradually. I did it cold turkey and I had a harsh line for a long time. It was painful to see in the mirror but it was the cheapest, and arguably fastest way so that's what I did. But spreading it out and having less of a line is great!

It will continue to change. I keep looking in the mirror and seeing more white/gray. I really need to update my picture at the left...