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Rude stylist, should I disclose online even though most are fine?

doggeh lover

I thought I had found a great place (and most of the people there are good and quite friendly.) But my last experience left me not wanting to go back again. The stylist greeted me with a polite hello, but gave me a quick look with raised eyebrows like I was a bug that crawled out from under a rock. I told her right away I had been ill, have limited mobility and apologized for needing a shampoo. She said nothing, sat down, lifted sections of my hair like it was nasty, asked "where did you get THIS done?" Um, here. she took me to the sink, scolded me for my hair being not freshly washed, told me I MUST start doing better at it. I reminded her I had been ill and have mobility issues. She asked what I wanted, I said a stacked bob with a sharp angle. I got a straight bob, no angle (and she cut off my long tips, ugh!) I said I was thinking about dyeing my hair, been looking faded due to grey coming in, but I hadn't done it for over 45 yrs and now was not a good time as my husband is on unemployment. She just "well, you *really* should, it is EXTREMELY bland and dull" and shook her head in disapproval. And this was not a cheap salon. I just felt awful and had really been looking forward to getting the cut. I stupidly tipped her, felt like telling her to go buy some manners. I did ask for recommendations on Nextdoor.com for new people without mentioning Salon name, but many are now asking me where it happened

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25 replies

Latest reply was from Gigi

nuancedream

Veteran

I am so sorry to hear of your terrible salon experience, doggeh lover. The hairstylist's attitude was completely uncalled for and extraordinarily unprofessional. Obviously, she was more interested in hurling snide remarks at you instead of listening to you. I guess the hairstylist never heard or took to heart the old adage, "The customer is always right." Unfortunately, you can't get the back the money you tipped her, but it might be worth reaching out to the salon owner to discuss your experience or contacting the Better Business Bureau to report the salon if there isn't a satisfactory resolution.

kkards

Veteran

Sorry you had a bad experience. I would give the salon owner the opportunity to make it right, so i would give them a call and explain what happened. See what the owner has to say, and if they are worth as a business owner they will try to make it right. Then, if you are still unhappy/ un satisfied leave an honest but unhappy review on yelp. And find a new place (& make sure to read a the yelp reviews 1st)

always trying

Veteran

If she just rents a chair there no boss to report her to. But you should absolutely put her name on the nextdoor or make it known that she is such a rude, obnoxious person. She needs to loose her customers.

slim cat

Veteran

In the past I called the owner and complained about awful haircut/ got free updated trim. The place was good except for that one stylist. I think you should speak out and get either money back or free fix- sorry about your awful experience.

cat2

Veteran

So sorry! Its particularly horrible to have someone not pay attention to clear requests for accommodation for physical limitations. I would call the salon owner.

rachylou

Veteran

Oh, let it fly on Nextdoor and Yelp. That’s not human error, that’s BAD service.

JAileen

Veteran

Well that is a shame. I assume the stylist had a bad day. Too bad she took it out on you. I last had my hair cut professionally last summer. I’ve been cutting mine myself. And it looks it! I’ve been going to the same person for 20+ years, and she never wanted me to stop dyeing my hair. I get that, it meant more money for her. Still, I’m sorry your experience was so bad. I have no advice re reporting the rudeness.

Joy

Veteran

I’m sorry you had such an awful experience. That stylist sounds like a bully.

Star

Veteran

Wow, this attitude shocks me. You definitely need to take it up with the owner of the salon first and if not remedied go on-line. She was letting out her bad energy on you and there is no way you should hold onto this. Never tip anyone is future who does not deserve it either.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

In our country we don’t have a tipping tradition. Our minimum wage is ( I think?) much higher than the US ( soon to go to $20 per hour) and we regard the service as part of paying for the experience. Some of us do tip in restaurants but more likely only when we get exceptional service. We don’t tip at the hairdresser.
If it were me, I would be taking my money elsewhere in the future and I wouldn’t have tipped at all, tipping tradition or no. I would be very angry and would consider leaving a bad review. But I am sorry to say I can be quite unforgiving with these things!
I feel I am giving them money and custom, the least they can do is be nice to me! I’m so sorry that happened to you

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

I agree with everything above about your ugly experience and am sorry you went through it.

Thinking about how to prevent it from happening again....is she just a nasty person lashing out, or would an educational approach about how to deal with serious illness and mobility issues be helpful? Did she even understand that you weren’t talking about a simple fleeting flu bug, and what “mobility” means? Instead of “punish her”, your emphasis with the shop owner (or with her, if she just rents a chair) could be on empathy (you for her & her for clients) and how she can learn to deal with things that make her uncomfortable.

kkards

Veteran

Been thinking about this more —please keep in mind that we are in the middle of a global pandemic and i could imagine being a hair dresser is very stressful right now...there is no way to do this job and social distance...and I know that my hairdresser is working less because clients are canceling do to being sick or fear of getting sick, and that many, even if they are still getting their hair done are spacing their appointments farther apart. So, maybe the client the stylist had before you wasn’t wearing there mask (or wearing it correctly) or maybe they had 2 cancellations and are worried about paying their bills this month...does that make how they treated you right, no, but please remember that you can show a little kindness and understanding.

Star

Veteran

Reading the comments and want to add that I believe if the salon owner is not informed this stylist will continue treating people badly without a second thought whatever her reasons are for behaving in this way.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I agree with Star. It sounds like the behavior by the stylist was so consistently rude that the salon owner should know about it. It’s not like the stylist had one thoughtless moment and then pulled it together — I can’t imagine letting someone work on my head who clearly has such disdain for me.

It puts the salon in a negative light if customers are being treated poorly in their establishment. I think the owner should know.

Anonymous

It's such a shock to be treated badly it can be difficult to speak up. Posting a negative review is unfortunately not likely to be satisfying though, and you might regret it. Maybe better to move on than to dig in.

Honestly, if this were me, I would probably vow to never go there again, at least for a few months, and imagine that this is a good thing, and that this experience will contribute to my finding a better salon and stylist.

Which I would then do.

Anonymous

I would personally worry less about posting an on-line review than on making the situation at hand better for yourself. Posting on line doesn't help you . Call the owner, or drop in, stand up for yourself as best you can, and work with the owner to make things right.

No Fear of Fashion

(website)

Veteran

Nobody should ever be so condescending to you. How dare she? I wouldn't go back either. And she deserves to be named if people ask you.

After typing this I read Lisa p's advice and that is a much better advice. I got carried away by my anger. Never a good thing.
Greetje

Ledonna N.

Veteran

I am agreeing with everyone and do all of the above.

Now It sounds to me like you had to make excuse for surviving and living. Then you wanted to treat yourself and had a horrific experience. You are a survivor and did not deserve to be treated that way specifically paying and tipping someone for the horrific service you just received.

This hurt my heart so much for me to read t hat I'm in tears right now. You don't have anything to prove to anyone.

She does not deserve your time or your beautiful energy.

I am a personal believer that I cannot let that type of energy touch me or my daughter and will walk away after a good talking to and a conversation with the salon owner or manager. I believe in energy transference at work I have literally had to step back from it. Keep your head up and read reviews. I know it personally happened to me and It is uncalled for

Barbara Diane

Veteran

I don’t know if this would be too much for you but I would consider writing the stylist and putting down in writing what you asked for, how she actually cut it, all her demeaning comments, and what you told her about your situation, and most importantly, how it made you feel. Maybe she will get it, maybe she won’t. But may she’ll think twice before doing it to someone else.

Then I ‘d wait week for a response (as this might be challenging for her and take a while to process-not your problem, I know, but....) and if I hear nothing, or if the response is inadequate, send the same note to the salon owner and see what happens next.

As far as going back to the salon, if you receive an adequate response, it is a question of can you let go of what happened energetically/emotionally and go cleanly to a stylist you had a good experience with. I’m the type of person who would run it through in my mind’s eye, walking in the door, walking to the chair, sitting down. How do I feel? Would it make a difference if I scheduled my appointment for a day when the problematic stylist wasn’t there? I would only do this after I heard from the stylist or owner.

Now, part of why I would consider going back is if you knew a particular stylist was nice and gave you a good cut, I find nice easy but a good cut can be hard to find. If that’s not the case, ask for recommendations from someone with similar hair.

This would also give the stylist and maybe the owner an opportunity to respond before deciding to name them publicly. You could post this, and then follow up with whether they responded or not.

What I am suggesting asks a fair amount of you. As someone who was the victim, you are not obligated. But if you have enough energy to do something about it, you might help prevent someone else from going through what you went through.

And I do believe that putting it in writing allows you to exorcise it and allows the recipient time to consider what you said and respond, where over the phone you might get a reactive defensive response.

Mostly, a hug if you like them. So sorry for your experience.

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

Gosh, what a terrible experience. I'm glad you brought it up here, because there are a lot of helpful comments. I would be totally overwhelmed and unsure what to do. I especially like Barbara Diane's suggestion.

Glory

Veteran

Sending a hug. Such wonderful caring advice given and I echo everything LeDonna has said.

SW Ann

Veteran

Well..this was just horrible! I am so sorry that you had this experience. Lots of great advice...I do think the salon owner needs to know what happened, and "writing" it out as was suggested might be the best way to get it across.... I am not always the best verbalizing upsetting information and writing it, as you did here, will help clarify what you want to say. Good luck....but please don't swallow it without standing up for yourself in some way that works best for you....

doggeh lover

Thank you all SO very much, truly means a lot to me! I'm going to be rereading and mulling over these great answers and will post what happens

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

I think your first decision will have to be what your goal is—retribution, feeling better yourself, having her lose business, her doing better next time/with other clients.... Once you know what you are going for, the choice of what to do will be easier. As I said above, my vote is for compassion for everyone involved, including her future customers.

Gigi

Veteran

I once went to a stylist like this for a couple of appointments. The second appointment was no better than the first. She made me feel ashamed and ugly. I would recommend talking to the salon owner. She will probably appreciate knowing that the stylist is acting this way, which is causing the company to lose customers.