Ginger and gryffin, yes, you've hit on something regarding how this impacts enjoying my own wardrobe. Maybe it's why I don't have a strong , distinctive personal style? Always, thank you for your insight, I appreciate your thoughts.

I didn't start this thread to have to defend myself, and I'm not interested in being admonished, either. I chose to share my thoughts because I am an open book, if nothing else, and am willing to learn and grow. I also figured others might share their experiences too.

I love the Tanya's term "trend sensitive" - must have missed that discussion !

Irina - thank you for your support. I share your thoughts.

ANYWAYS - this is meant to be a philosophical discussion. Thank you all for your thoughts !

I am reading this thread for the first time right now. Unfortunately, I cannot be everywhere at once

cat2, I get that this is emotional terrain, and we can feel negatively judged at some point. If you would like others here to be kind and respectful about your style and fashion choices, it would help if your tone was less harsh. Try to be more gentle about the way you express your opinions. LJP started this post precisely because she wants to change her perspective and improve the language she uses here - all in an effort to be less judgmental, more gentle, and more inclusive. That should be supported and commended. In my experience, reinforcing the positive is always a better way to go!

LJP, thank you for your thoughts! I'll get back to them later.

One of the best aspects of this forum is its diversity. We come here for different reasons, from different backgrounds, with different goals. That's what makes it interesting!

But that also makes it easier for signals to get crossed.

If words like "dated" can be internalized in negative ways or misinterpreted by others, then maybe they aren't the best words to use, of our own outfits or other people's. Even if they are terms of art, in a sense, and part of one's professional vocabulary.

If I understood you correctly, Lisa, that's precisely what you were getting at. You've hit on a linguistic shift that might help you evolve your own style in a more relaxed, less judgement-laden way and might also help you communicate more effectively with the diverse members of this group. That sounds like a win-win to me!

I'm curious, cat2, about what you intended with your comment? If I understood you, you have felt judged by that kind of language in the past or possibly triggered by it, if not on this thread, then elsewhere. I get that; it's a sensitive and complicated area, for sure.

At the same time, if we're asking for respect from others, it seems to me we need to offer it in kind to them. Groups like this one work best when we assume one another's best intentions and work towards mutual support.

Per Suz: "

Groups like this one work best when we assume one another's best intentions and work towards mutual support." Amen!

Yes , Suz, that is and was my intention. Thank your for clarifying and for your support .

Big thumbs up for everything Suz wrote above!

A few years ago, I decided to step back a bit from this forum because I was feeling like a bit like cat2 that my ideas around keeping my style “current” were not aligned with what others seemed to be seeking. I‘ve always loved fashion from an artistic and creative perspective, but I can’t say that I’ve ever feel much affinity for, or interest in, whatever “cool girls” were obsessing about this month.

Let’s close this thread . I feel it’s gone off the rails and I don’t have the emotional fortitude to explain , defend , debate further . It’s left me feeling saddened after such a positive start .

I’m sad it’s come to that point. I really appreciate the original post and all the observations of fellow forum members until it went sideways. I love your idea of reframing this language and feel like cat2 completely missed the intention of your post.

I just wanted to say that I love your new perspective and please know that we are supportive of you and your style journey.

I am also saddened about how this thread evolved. I was going to write much more, but I respect your wishes, Lisa, that you would like the thread closed.

Regarding the "trend sensitive" term, there was no forum discussion you missed, I used the term in the comments on yesterday's blog post and several Fabbers seemed to like it. Since the post was about doing your own thing fashion-wise, I used the term to indicate that I am more comfortable doing it for some aspects of trends than others. Specifically, I am very happy to do my own thing independent of trends when it comes to colors, patterns and textures; but am more conscious of trends and influenced by them when it comes to silhouettes and cuts/shapes of garments. This, of course, was me talking about myself, it had no implications about anyone else.

I like that Tanya :). And I pay attention to trends the same way you do .

It's been a busy day, and I could not get to this thread properly until now.

Generally, as far as dated items go, I believe that dating a wardrobe item is a dated concept! I elaborated on that thinking three years ago here:

Specifically, LJP, firstly, please don't feel sad! Your thoughts here about vocabulary and perspective changes are positive, good, enlightened and FWIW - you have my full support. I'm excited and DELIGHTED to view your wardrobe and style through this new lens with you. Onward!

This:

"If I eliminate the concept of dated and change the factor to " do I still love wearing it?" - maybe I can see things in a less judgmental way. I also look forward to using different language in response to forum and blog postings about style changes in the marketplace"

Love that! May it make you feel empowered, liberated and happy in your heart. Goodbye skinny ponte pants and embellished combat boots. They make others happy, but not you. Onto something else

Btw, I have been in the international Rag Trade for 30 years - non-stop. Designer, Specialist Buyer, Consultant, Fashion Stylist, and Wardrobe Consultant. I hear you on how we used to handle trends and decisions back then. Fashion and style have evolved in a good way, and us evolving with it is good too. I applaud the epiphanies you shared here!

Tanya, I view trends similarly! Trends are a buffet I enjoy snacking on, or filling my belly with when it suits me.

Thank you Angie .

Yes Angie. You always provide a positive perspective that is consistent and reliable.

Hi, sorry Lisa to keep it going but I just want to say ... This post is exactly the kind of nuanced, interesting, thought provoking commentary that had kept me engaged with this community for 10+ years ... So I hope you will continue to share your thoughts about your style journey because they are very appreciated.

Sorry Lisa, despite your wish to close this thread I have to pipe up and say that the vast majority of it has been respectful and illuminating and I given me a lot to think about. Please do not be discouraged by what appears to be one misunderstanding of what you wrote.

Thank you Jaime and Helena . I don’t think it was a misunderstanding . I think it was pure anger and disgust from an anonymous poster / bot designed to stir up discourse . My initial shock has given way to annoyance .

I'm late, but wanted to say loved the original post, keep on the good job Lisa- I always apreciate your posts- philosophical or not!:-)
We surelly could have done better without the ramblings in the second part of Cat2's comment....I just don't understand where that links to the original post either- looks like taking it all negatively personal but this is non-sense for me, sorry....:-(

Ha ha, pressing on a bruise here despite your wanting to close this issue but also wanted to chime in and say these (and not the emotionally-charged comments that followed) are my favorite kinds of posts, the ones that are more than about just a specific outfit but more our underlying thinking about getting dressed and keeping a wardrobe. Keep 'em coming and don't worry too much that something will always hit someone wrong if they're in the wrong mood to hear it.

Thank you Lesley !

Lisa; I love reading your thoughts and insights. Your professional life was/is so different from mine. If you can believe it, my life is and has been anti-fashion, as in thinking about and displaying fashion and style is frowned upon and no doubt thought of as shallow, frivolous, and a waste of time. As someone who thinks about how I dress, I am conspicuous and people around me comment frequently enough to make it embarrassing. I’ve gotten over the stage when women in my field are SUPPOSED to look/dress frumpy, but the bar is now so low where I am living at the other end of the spectrum, I thought I might give you a laugh and an additional perspective.

I wasn’t going to comment on this thread since, by the time I got to it, you had said you wanted to close it. But, as others have commented, I thought I would sneak in mine too

Adjusting our internal style dialogue is a big challenge for many of us. Is this dated? Does this look like I’m trying too hard? Is this too young for me? Does this make me look bigger? etc etc etc. We are constantly judging ourselves, and usually against a standard that we don’t set for others.

External style dialogue can also be a challenge, as this post shows.

I found your original post, and most of the comments that followed, interesting and positive. I’m sorry it went sideways. I hope you are not discouraged.

Kudos to Angie for handling these issues so well.

Thank you Brooklyn, I appreciate your thoughts.

FWIW, it looks like "cat2" edited her original comments. Also , I looked at her posting history, and see that her very first post here 2 years ago or so was almost identical in tone and stirred up the same kind of discourse and dissent.

The more I think about this whole issue, the more I want to say that judgmental tones run both ways here. I love fashion, trend watching, everything ......and there should be nothing wrong with that. We all look and judge through different lens, and need to not get so bent out of shape with other viewpoints. I do sense a fair bit of push-back against trends and what "fashion girls" say we 'should" wear. That stuff is only one small part of the bigger picture that is fashion and dressing. Why is it bad that I happen to enjoy reading that kind of thing ? There are no entry rules to this forum that state only shopping your closet, buying vintage, wearing the classics, whatever type of person you are, are accepted here.

Ok, I need to stop and move on. Thanks all for your comments and support.

I am super late here but wanted to simply say that I admire your directness, honesty, and ability for self-reflection, and I think your insights are powerful.

Thank you, Angie, for always saying what needs to be said in such a diplomatic, wise manner.