Retiring question. - YouLookFab Forum

Nebraskim

I retired in August 2014 when the salary line for my job was discontinued; I had six weeks notice. I had no idea what I was going to do; it was the second time in 24 months that my salary line disappeared, so I took it as a message to do something different. I was lucky to be able to continue my health coverage for a while through COBRA and later get coverage through the ACA. That was my only concern. I am financially OK and I have a small free-lance PR gig going that I use to augment my clothing habits. One thing I have started to do is tell people I am "self-employed" rather than retired. For some reason the "retired" thing elicits a lot of weird questions (I am 60 but apparently look younger so I get a lot of "you don't look old enough to be retired" type of comments).

I did not do this, but I have heard from others that if you can plan to take a small vacation or trip for a few days after your last day at work, that the change of venue helps with the transition. For me, I worked til 5 p.m. on the end of the pay period, and then the next day, got up at the same time as usual and went for a run, just like I always do. So it wasn't a big transition. The biggest change is that instead of getting up at 5 and working out, I now get up at 6.

Recently, I was encouraged to apply for a half-time position in a job I might have been interested in a year ago. But I find I enjoy my time and have declined that opportunity. I do still volunteer with a number of groups.

You have time to start to make a plan for the next phase. I'm sorry your health concerns are forcing this on you. Good luck as you work this out.

10 years ago

Carla

Veteran

Not retired, but thinking about it lots since the countdown has started! I will retire in 2017 at age 57 as will DH at age 60. The plan is to carry on with a lot of the same activities we do now, but at a more leisurely pace. Everything feels so rushed, and every day so crammed full right now!

Having more time for self-care - to exercise, to prepare nutritious food in interesting ways, and to rest (naps!) is paramount (and what you should be doing too!). After that, slowing down to really enjoy all the small, routine but beautiful things that get missed when one is rushing about. These days I have to take a holiday just to work in my garden! My piano stands neglected, as does my sewing machine!

10 years ago

Style Fan

Veteran

I retired almost 4 years ago (this October) when I was 56. I had planned to retired when I was around 55 so I was ready financially. My DH had retired 3 years earlier. I work a tiny bit teaching at the university.
The honest truth is I miss a lot about my work. I loved my work and it gave me so much that I think I have been grieving the loss more than I realized. However, I do not miss the nasty politics of the organization. I may do some freelance work in the future.
Now that I am retired I can pursue activities that I could not when I was working because I was so exhausted and stressed. I can really explore the world of Yoga which I never would have been able to do when I was fully employed. I can take care of myself physically and emotionally better because I have the time and I do not have the stress of work.
My DH has gone through a similar process as me. He was ready to leave work in some ways and enjoys the time he has now to pursue activities such as Yoga, swimming and travel. He does miss his work though.

10 years ago

Summer

Veteran

I retired a few years ago, although I had been working from home for quite a while before that. When I left my outside work, I really missed the company at first - despite being an introvert - and found it a little difficult to adjust, but that soon passed.
For me, it's important to have some sort of routine in place, even if it sometimes goes by the board - there has to be some flexibility - and to set goals for things I wish to achieve. It's easy enough to just drift along, otherwise.
My DH retired earlier than intended due, like you, to health issues. Having worked long hours for very many years, he wondered what he was going to do with himself, but he took to it like a duck to water, and is now so busy with his projects and activities that I hardly ever see him!
Good luck with your own retirement, Deb. I hope you can get those medical issues out of the way very soon so that you can start to enjoy yourself.

10 years ago

JAileen

Veteran

I'm not retired, per se, but I haven't worked at a job in over 10 years. Our son is grown and out of the house. The first year he went away to college I did feel like I was unanchored in a way. My time is pretty filled up now though. I am NOT a lady who lunches:

I joined a non profit that operates a thrift store and uses the proceeds to fund, among other things, a food pantry for low income seniors. I volunteer there several times a month. I enjoy working at the thrift store, and working at the food pantry just reinforces how fortunate I am.

I also became a CASA, a court appointed special advocate. I was assigned three siblings in foster care. I report to the family court judge twice a year. I have been these children's CASA for four years now. I have really gotten to know them and hope that I am a stabilizing influence in their lives.

Then of course there are the usual things: dogs, gardening, outings with my husband. I actually feel like I don't have enough time!

My husband is planning to retire next year. I'm a little anxious about how this might change things!

10 years ago

retailgirl

Veteran

I will be 66 in September and plan to retire within the next year. I'll be OK financially but I am going to need something to do. I've thought about a part time retail job I but I've been a boss so long I don't know if I could be told when to go to lunch, etc., etc. I could volunteer, but not sure where. Even though some of my coworkers drive me crazy and there are many petty annoyances in my workplace, I would miss the social aspect of work. And I love getting dressed up every day! So I think about it a lot and I still have some decisions to make.

10 years ago

Gaylene

Veteran

I'd say your feelings are entirely normal. Retirement, even if it is voluntary, requires a mental and social adjustment period--longer for some than for others, especially if a person's job is a significant aspect of his/her self-identity.

My only advice, as someone who retired a few years ago from a satisfying and enjoyable career, is to NOT pay too much attention to others' advice. You'll find your own path if you just give yourself time to find out what you want, and need, in this new chapter of your life. Personally, I held off volunteering, scheduling, and setting goals for a while because I didn't want to rush into another set of demands without giving myself the chance to reflect. I'd say retirement is a lot like being a parent. Lots of suggestions and advice from "experts", friends, and family, but most of us end up muddling through figuring out what works for us.

10 years ago

Deborah

Veteran

I'm not retired, as much as I keep suggesting it would be a good idea to DH lol, but I recently started a new job and work only two days. That has been a big change for me and I did actually struggle with how to spend all my free time meaningfully. I do still have a young child so I am certainly busy with mum stuff, but when he is at school what to do. Thankfully, I am active in my church and community, enjoy time catching up with my girlfriends (coffee and chat always good) and I feel less stress about keeping up with the house work etc now. It took some time to get into a groove but I am now feeling very positve about my extra free time.

10 years ago

malin

Active Member

I left my last job a little over 2 years ago and haven't worked since then for several reasons. I am very specialised in a small market and I don't want to work full time, I am also a non-native speaker and foreigner which makes it more difficult to find a job in my area. I have no financial pressure to work and decided to 'do nothing' (whatever that is) for a while or ever.
It was remarkable how fast my confidence disappeared. I was always very identified with my work, quite successful and got a lot of acknowledgment and respect for what I have done - and then there was suddenly this feeling of being unnecessary and un-needed.

I still don't have an answer for the dreaded "And what are you doing for a living?" question. What am I supposed to say to this? I am my husbands concubine? Sigh.
I got a large dog, she structures my day, gets me moving and makes me talk to people.

I am still searching for things to do. I tried a little bit of volunteering here and there, sports, paint and draw a little, started to play accordion before the frozen shoulder came (to be continued), read a lot, watch gazillions of movies and think about starting a blog.
What I learned in these last years is is that I have to re-learn how to play and find meaning in playing. Learning to be slow and change my understanding of efficiency and success. Learning to feel success when I observe the birds.

There are not many people who will admit how tiring and confusing this transition in a new phase life can be, many think it is like an endless holiday. Where nobody tells you what to do, no due dates, no dead lines.
It is not easy to find your own rhythm, your own playgrounds and to feel the recognition you may have received at work. I find it challenging (especially when the holiday feel was gone) and enriching, but these last years brought me definitely closer to myself.

I could write about this forever!

10 years ago

Anonymous

I retired from a very large organization about a year and a half ago, and I am loving life after work. I'm a true introvert, and enjoy spending time on my own, gardening, cooking, reading, and whatever suits my mood. My boyfriend and I are traveling more, since it's a lot easier to schedule time away. My stress level is zero, and I am very appreciative of the fact that my time is my own. I am taking much better care of my health, including exercising more. For me, it has been a win-win. If you're an extrovert, you might miss having lots of people around, but there are ways to deal with that, like volunteering. Everyone just needs to find their own rhythm and retirement style.

10 years ago

Jeanie

Veteran

Deb, I'm sorry about your health issues. I wish they had another word for retirement that sounded more uplifting. I was really scared too. At first it seemed like a vacation which was nice but then I got a bit bored and missed people. I love that I have more time for exercise, biking to the store and making healthy food and sorta doing what I want when I want. I found that, for me, I need a bit of structure in my life. I started a part time business which gets me up and out of the house. I also give myself projects to complete (like painting the living room) and daily tasks (like laundry & errands, etc). I still like my days to feel like I'm "working" so I only watch TV and read at night. I just feel better when I have completed some things at the end of the day. When I don't have a task list I feel a bit aimless. I also joined a few social groups that go hiking and biking. I like that the groups are a mix of age groups because it makes life more interesting. I am still looking for the right volunteer position. I have tried a couple different places but haven't found the right fit there. My favorite thing is just waking up and seeing what the weather holds. If it's gorgeous, I might do the gardening or take the day off and go biking. When it's rainy I can do all my inside chores. It's a fun adventure and that is what they should call it! I wish you all the best and I'm sure you'll find your own groove!

10 years ago

Anonymous

I have not worked since the company I had worked for downsized and eventually sold. I was almost 50. I still remember the employees calling me asking how to do "things". I thought to myself that since I was laid off, I owe them nothing and said that I was willing to consult if they needed me. Well they needed me and I was paid very well as a consultant. I did not train them; I just did the work that needed to be done.

In the beginning it is hard not having that place to go to and get dressed up for. But I never stopped dressing nicely or getting ready every morning, even if it was to volunteer at my DD's school, run errands, work around the house.

I now also had the opportunity to do all the things that I said I would do if I had the time. I digitized all our non digital photos, scrapbooked, made photo books, organized photos. I organized all our household paperwork, cleared the house of clutter (some by donating, other stuff I sold online and made some cash), I converted our family movies into dvds, started a vegetable and fruit garden, taught myself to sew and completed some home projects, learned a new language, learned mosaics. I can go on and on.

I am not one to sit around and do nothing. So seize the opportunity to do the things you have always wanted to do.

10 years ago

DonnaF

Veteran

Organize a YLF meet-up? Or two or three? Seriously!!!

After DH retired at the age of 60, he went to the gym more regularly and took up pickle ball. Now, he's helping me go through my late mom's house to get it ready to go on the market.

I work fairly minimally. I've decided that if I don't touch the projects I've moved from my mom's house by age 65 or at the very, very latest age 70, it means I never will and that I need to get rid of whatever it is that is cluttering up my small house. In addition to clothing closet editing, I want/need to edit everything else. I absolutely do not want to leave my daughter an unedited 40+ year mess like my mother left me; I love her too much.

10 years ago

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