Resistence - YouLookFab Forum

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Resistence

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

This is something that I see over and over- both in myself, and in other people on the forum here. Angie will post about a new style, a solution for a common problem, or a general theory. At first I may completely disagree- I tend to be a little contrary. After a while, I start to come around to the idea, and finally I embrace and experiment with it and come to love it. I'm working on pushing past the resistance stage, because I know that is just my natural tendency to have a difficult time with change, and in the end it does nothing but hinder my progress. I see this in other people, too. Someone will post a concern or issue, and they will get many similar responses form the board but they will still be resistant to the ideas. I guess you have to break down that wall a brick at a time.
My new motto is "Embrace the Change!"
Do you have the same issues with resistance?

General

14 replies

Latest reply was from Ele

Maya

Veteran

Where is the line between being resistant and simply having a difference of opinion? Sometimes I come around and sometimes I don't, but I don't consider it an issue of stubbornness or a problem. I guess when you're consistently resistant and never come around, then it might be a problem because you'll end up rutting yourself.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Khris, it's human nature to resist change, of any kind really. Its one of the fundamental things that you take as a given when you study Psychology. I too can be very resistant to certain types of change - just not changes in fashion I guess!

Interestingly, I have always found you especially flexible and open to fashion and style change. I do not perceive you as contrary at all - often the first one to adopt a new theory or look. How does that impression grab you?

JennyK (NC)

Who, me? Resistant? Pshaw! I LOVE voluminous dresses and boyfriend jackets and harem pants.

>:-)

Seriously, though, there are some trends I love before they become mainstream, and I'm not afraid to stand out or look different.

I do have certain ideas in my head about color, pattern, silhouette, etc. that are more difficult for me to adjust. It's only this year that I decided it really is ok to not have my shoes and handbag match, and that red and purple can go together.

I still don't see the appeal of certain other mainstream looks. Wearing leggings under a dress is something I tried, and I got positive responses for it, but it still feels "off" to me. Is that stubbornness or just personal opinion? On the other hand, there are looks I like and feel comfortable in that would probably not get wide approval here.

rae

(website)

Veteran

I agree although, for myself, I've realized that it is not in my personality or personal style to embrace change easily. I would much rather look backward for fashion inspiration instead of trying out the latest thing... every time I've been reckless and bought something very trendy, I've deeply regretted it. I find it much more appealing to look nostalgic, cautious, or quirky as opposed to current, trendy, or fashionable... YLF has helped me to be at peace with this fact, as it reflects my true self.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

Maya- I think the difference is giving it a try and being open minded (or also just objectively knowing when a certain look does not work with your own style). I don't mean that. I was thinking more of general guideline and rules that seem to work and be pretty universally accepted here, rather than trends- flattering lengths of things, use of color, etc.
Angie I have becomes much more flexible with fashion (thanks in large part to you- and also due to the quick turn around of my wardrobe these days). You should hear me if the lotion bottle gets moved, though! Ha ha!
See Jenny- you gave the leggings under a dress look a try, and you also know instinctively that harem pants and voluminous dresses do not work with your own style. You have made some changes in your thinking, so I don't think you're that stubborn.

taylor

Veteran

I think you are FAR more willing to try new things than I am. I have learned what works for me and I try to stick with that...given my age and frame it can be tricky, so I don't venture out of my comfort zone too much.

greenglove

(website)

Veteran

I think that I have been very open to change and it has been largely because of this forum. I also feel that I have gone overboard and embraced styles and colors just to try something new and it has not been a good thing. I am reaching a balance and realizing that certain aspects of my style such as more earthy colors and an artistic bent are much more comfortable (in a good way ) for me and help me just be more myself. I do not have to embrace every trend nor can I afford to. Living on a budget forces you to be cautious about expensive purchases. Hence my very picky and frustrating search for the perfect premium jeans. I am older and therefore, like Taylor have a good idea of what will never work for my frame or personality. I will probably never wear something only because it is in fashion and I am sure that is probably true for all of us. We learn how to make fashion work for our own styles and body-types. I think the one thing I have completely passed on is the boyfriend blazer. I also highly doubt harem pants will be on my body but you never know.

crwilson

Veteran

I'm definitely resistant to change, although I'm more open to trying new looks now than I was pre-YLF. Still, it takes me a long time to get accustomed to certain looks, to the point that by the time I actually try a trend, it's often going out of style. I'm trying to take more fashion risks, but not expensive ones because I don't want to waste money on items that I'll only wear once or twice.

Louise

Veteran

Try and get me to go to a different chinese takeaway/ pub etc and I'm totally opposed to it! but conversely i'm TOTALLY open to new things clothes wise, I guessing it's the YLF effect? x

cciele

Veteran

I'm also open to trying new looks, plus following the general style guidelines that we follow here. Of course, I take into account my age, lifestyle, and personal style, and it's simple for me to discard something that might work for others but not for me.

Michelle

(website)

Veteran

I've had to learn to overcome this resistance barrier, which is a pretty highly-developed trait in my personality. In terms of fashion I am forced to rely on others if I want to push my envelope, and since I firmly believe that too much caution will lead to stagnation, I've had to find ways to conquer my inherent nervousness about new styles. I am a creature of habit and thrive on routines, and being flexible about trends and styles doesn't always come naturally to me. In my case, though, my motivation to look as sighted as possible is more powerful than my natural caution and tends to override those impulses. YLF has helped me strike a balance between those two warring factions of my personality. I've certainly been pushed to try some looks I never would have dreamed of before, but I've also gained confidence to resist something more actively if I feel that's the right way to go.

Maya

Veteran

I'm not sure if I understand exactly (sorry I'm dense). If I understand correctly, I can't tell if I"m resistant or not in that case. I agree with pretty much everything Angie says. I have always had an innate aversion to ankle length pants, long skirts and dresses, long tops with skirts, and that universally unflattering shade of beige...

I did and continue to resist the idea that cap sleeves are always unflattering and sleeveless is always better, but that's not really an issue to me. I don't automatically shut down certain theories or explanations but I don't always embrace them either. Your mind can only be so open before your brains fall out...

Sihaya

Veteran

Resistence to change is a well documented phenomenon. Different people will resist different types of change, even positive ones before the become used to it. This is different from arriving at some choices where you know some styles don't suit you etc. It's when you are choiceful vs. when you are reacting by being resistent. For major changes, here's a "change formula". Change happens when D*V*F > R - where D is the dissatisfaction with your current state, V is the vision for the future state, and F is first steps towards that new state. The product of all 3 (which means if any one of them is zero that entire side of the equation becomes zero) has to be greater than R which is the resistence to change.

Ele

(website)

I'm sort of with Maya on this. If I'm resistant, it's only because I don't like a certain look or don't think it will work with my style/personality/body, and this is always a considered decision for me, even if that "consideration" takes place quickly or on a sub-conscious level. I don't usually write things off without thinking them through, at least in regards to fashion!

I think there are plenty of things that I've embraced quickly (skinnies, voluminous tops, denim-on-denim, extended/exaggerated shoulders) and others that I probably never will (pastels and neons, sandal booties, slouchy boots). It's rare that I will "come around" to something, because I tend to know what I like when I see it. The only exception that I can think of is leggings, which took me a while to come around to. (If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.)

BTW Sihaya, that's a fascinating formula. I'd never seen that before!