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Reflecting on buying mistakes

Penny

Veteran

This week's post on budgeting prompted me to look through my purchases this year, and I realized that despite feeling pleased with the majority of my purchases, I've made a lot of mistakes! About 1/6 of my purchases haven't worked out. They're all gone, because as soon as I realize something's not right, I consign it or pass it on, but I'm glad that I track so I can learn from the mistakes.

Key findings:

Avoid gray - it's not my happy color. Although it seems "practical," a gray wrap dress and a gray sweater were passed on shortly after purchase. In contrast, all the navy and black items purchased this year are in heavy rotation.

Don't try too hard to make a concept work. I had an idea that a navy-and-black jacket would be a perfect topper for my black work dresses. Finally found one after scouring online, but the only available size was a bit boxy on me and the piece was not as well-made as I would have liked. In my enthusiasm, I proceeded with tailoring the sleeves, only to wear it twice and realize I'd rather wear my perfectly fitting navy Hugo Boss blazer (one of the winners this year) with my black dresses. It seems whenever I try too hard to make an idea materialize, it's never as successful as happening upon the perfect dress, blazer, or accessory for my wardrobe.

Footwear is hard! No real revelations here, since we all know this, but I can be even more cautious going forward. For example, one pair of nude ballet flats, worn often, just didn't hold up, and another pair that struck me as on-trend were passed on after several wears - they just didn't feel like me, so it's probably better to stick to what I love (e.g., simple almond-toed heels and classic ballet flats).

Overall, lots of wins so far this year - an abundance of navy dresses that make getting dressed easy for work and weekends, two sharp new blazers, an elegant double-stand pearl bracelet that's been a terrific investment, a black patent bow belt that's perfect for dresses, several great pairs of heels and flats, and a new small burgundy handbag that I know will be a weekend favorite - but it's definitely helpful for me to reflect on what hasn't worked out, and why.

Over to you - any wardrobe mistakes this year, and any lessons learned?

Shopping

47 replies

Latest reply was from

Alexandra

(website)

Veteran

White is my mistake. It always looks so appealing. And I just about never wear it.

Anonymous

Is it all greys or just certain greys?
I think colour ratios are important. You might not like grey but maybe in small doses it's ok?

I also get confused about wearing what I like vs. wearing what's on trend. I think it's important to keep trying new things and assessing whether they're for you. If they're not for you, that's fine, but if you never try, then I think you're in a style rut.

delurked

Veteran

I need to be careful with t-shirt fabrics and pant rise. i don't like too low, but if I go too high like a pair of jeans I purchased this spring, I don't feel my best in that rise, which ends up above my belly button. I need to be keeping to mid rise I believe.

Penny

Veteran

Good point, Smittie - I certainly agree with keeping an open mind and trying new things. As to grey, in the past, I thought I liked dark grey, and knew that light grey weren't for me, but lately I realized that I've slowly removed all grey pieces from my wardrobe in favor of other neutrals . . . that said, I do love silver jewelry and pewter handbags! The sheen seems to make all the difference to the happiness factor for me.

Anonymous

I can get too caught up in trying to find a certain color...like the right shade of red...and don't pay enough attention to the rest of the garment, like neckline. Mistake with a blush tee because of color.

Ginger

Veteran

These are all very wise reflections! I know I've worked too hard to make a concept work. Usually for me it's setting my heart on a particular sort of item, not finding it after months of looking, and finally desperation settling on something far short of what I really wanted.

I realized that although I love navy as a neutral, I almost never like to wear it as the main color in an outfit. I have a hard time wearing my navy winter dress, and navy blouses get little wear too. My navy skirt, by contrast, gets a workout with all sorts of tops, and my hard-won collection of navy footwear is thrilling.

Shoes ARE hard. I have to give myself grace in that area, because it's really not something you can know for sure about until you've worn them a lot.

Penny

Veteran

That's my experience as well, Ginger! Sometimes I want to check it off the list . . . although since I'm not in love with the item, it's not really checked off the list. Fine if it's an absolute essential, but better to hold out otherwise (e.g., like Joy said, if you're after a certain color).

You're right that it's good to give yourself grace in shoes - as long as there are more hits than misses, I suppose that's about as much as you can hope for! Then buy duplicates of the winners to stash away for later, or at least that's my strategy.

DonnaF

Veteran

Shoes still tend to be my biggest mistakes. There's only so much that Angie's BodyGlide can do!

Items that seem *practical* aren't necessarily so for me. . .I would like to add more navy to my wardrobe but I associate that color with uniforms and especially flight attendants such that I know I need to be very, very careful.

I am also wondering that concepts that ought to work maybe don't due to their proportions in relation to other stuff or if they are too structured or too drapey. . .Ask me how I know. . .

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

I'm still trying to decide if this pair of blush pants was a mistake. I haven't worn them yet, but it's been hot. The deadline to return is approaching...
I had a revelation last night that several shirts that look boring with kaki/brown/olive shorts could be perked up by pairing them with the pants.

krissy751

My most obvious mistake this year are shoes. Several pairs bought but they were all some shade of brown. In so much trouble because of this because I have little variety now in color when it comes on to shoes lol

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Hi Penny I don't think it is one sixth of my wardrobe that's mistakes but I definitely make them. Shoes with too high heels are the ones in the past and also a pair of boots from this year. I am almost resolved to never buy heels again. I keep passing them over for flats or almost flats. Otherwise it has been sales goggles. Now today I am off to the Designer Garage Sale at our Fashion Week. They call it Fashion Weekend, the part open to the public. I'm going armed with a list of all my clothing and my tracking of wears to try to avoid any errors. In the past some of my Designer Garage Sale purchases have been amongst my best, you see- fantastic quality at good prices and worn many times. But one of last year's tops from there was a fail because really the colour red in it was too dull. Last year was pre YLF. So this year I will try to be picky and practical! And NOT buy if ANY doubt

Penny

Veteran

Sounds like a winning strategy, Jenni NZ - enjoy fashion weekend!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I made two big mistakes this year.

First, I bought 5 new pairs of booties last year. In itself, that wasn't so stupid. All but two were replacements for well loved and well worn predecessors. And the two new ones were fun wild cards (red suede and silver). The problem? My weather was terrible, and I had almost zero opportunities to wear dressier booties. I was in snow and rain boots all the time. I may get luckier this year, but for heaven's sake, that was silly of me -- not to mention expensive. Only two of the booties felt rugged enough for regular outdoor wear. I wore those two a LOT.

Mistake #2: I bought a bunch of silk summer tops from Everlane. They all fit and seemed like workhorse essentials. But...I hardly wore them. Why? Well, once again, the weather. It just wasn't right for these particular tops. Plus, they were solids and it turned out I felt like wearing prints this year. But they were near-replacements for well beloved, worn out essentials from my past!!

Lesson: just because something is similar to a well-worn much beloved item doesn't mean it will necessarily become a workhorse in today's closet. A great pair of jeans, a great jacket, a perfect silk shirt, an easy dress -- yes indeed, these will fit smoothly into my closet no matter what. But many items (esp. shoes and tops) are beloved mainly for the way they keep my closet looking current. So to go for what worked before might not work as well today.

Also, pay attention to your dominant climate.

Ginger

Veteran

Suz, that is really valuable information. I have had that same experience, but not in those numbers. So I don't think I learned as well.

Alexandra

(website)

Veteran

Suz, the climate thing is difficult. Some years are just totally outside the norm. Still, if you're replacing wardrobe workhorses, chances are you'll love having them next year even if this year was an all-about-prints year. I hope, anyway.

Anonymous

My mistake would be too much of the same kind of thing. I don't buy too many things and I buy high quality items so I look nice enough, but there's not enough diversity and dressier occasions are stressful to prepare for.

karen13

Veteran

One of my repeated mistakes is when it comes to duplicating. I often get so excited when I find something Iike, I buy another color, but then find maybe I didn't like it as much as I thought or the new color isn't one I reach for. I think I sometimes get a weird scarcity mentality - I will never be able to find this again!

I'm trying to wait a while before I duplicate an item now - to see if I really do love it as much as I think I do, and note whether I say, "I sure I had those pants in navy for this particular outfit" on a few occasions before I take the plunge. I will risk not being able to find the same item, but I think that will be better than buying them immediately and regretting it.

Penny

Veteran

Suz, yes! That's such a great point. In fact, the grey sweater I bought - and almost immediately passed on - was something that reminded me of a beloved sweater that was a workhorse in the past - but that really wasn't in line with my current style and color preferences.

It sounds like even if those wardrobe items of yours have been rarely worn, they provided valuable information for the future.

Penny

Veteran

That's so true, karen13 - I love to duplicate and store the identical piece when I know it will be a workhorse for years, but have definitely been burned by buying a piece too early, before I had confirmed it would be beloved. A couple of pieces I duplicated this year were from Zappos, which has a one-year return policy, so I kept the duplicates in their packaging until the originals had been worn many times before making my final decision.

Anonymous

Hi. If we are being honest, we all make wardrobe mistakes. I think it is impossible to be perfectly accurate all the time. I can only admire your resolve to purge an item once you realize it was a mistake. WOW. You are my hero.

In contrast, I tend to hold onto the mistakes. Sometimes I even buy additional mistakes trying to make the first mistake work for me. That is the real waste.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Sterling, I am with you here. I think we all make mistakes, and the best thing we can do is acknowledge that and move on. It's best to get rid of the offending items but make notes so we don't forget.

Some mistakes are useful (I hope mine will be!) and some mistakes are just plain lousy luck (to some extent, mine were -- the weather issue, as Alexandra notes, was pretty much out of my control and another year the items might see use...) and some mistakes are just part and parcel of an evolving style, as Smittie suggested.

I'm okay with it if I buy an inexpensive version of a trend or "new to me" style or colour and then decide it's not so wonderful. I pass it on quickly in that case. Ditto for shoes that turn out not to be comfortable (and that is a mistake none of us can escape from at some point in our lives, it seems). I do tend to hang onto the more expensive mistakes though. It doesn't make sense. Sunk costs are sunk costs.

Laura G

Veteran

My mistakes so far this year:

1. Trying on a tee shirt in artificial light, then discovering by the light of day that the color was wrong. That was the first mistake. The second mistake was keeping it anyway, thinking I could make it work somehow. A) I don't look good in that color and B) duh! I have nothing that goes with it.

2. Buying a top that I knew was the wrong shade of green for me, because I loved the print. It was a non-returnable clearance item, so sale goggles involved here too. See #1.

3. Two gauze miniskirts that I thought would be summer workhorses. They turned out to be more like a swarm of summer mosquitoes--the flimsy fabric worked its way up my body as I walked, and I was constantly trying to smooth down what looked like a crumpled handkerchief to restore decency. The mistake was checking how it looked in the mirror, but not how it felt to sit and walk in it.

4. The Nordstrom Signature long cashmere cardigan at NAS. I bought the XS thinking it must be small enough, right? and then saw a photo of me wearing it. NOT. Gave it to my tall daughter.

5. Finally got around to taking a beautiful Free People maxi skirt to be hemmed, only to discover it can't be hemmed. Tags on, but too late to return.

6. Overall, I may have bought more than I need. Still two months of summer left here, so if I can get out of bed and wear the stuff, I'll be able to judge the quantity better.

7. Oh, and buying a whole new wardrobe just *before* losing 12 pounds. Not really a mistake (you have to buy it when they're selling it), but expensive anyway.

Penny

Veteran

Lots of great comments and reflections here! Glad to have company, and it just goes to show that no matter how savvy we become, thanks to YLF, the style journey inevitably involves trial and error. . .

Gigi

Veteran

Fun thread! I still make purchasing mistakes, though many fewer than when I first started putting together my wardrobe. I do think that shoes are the hardest.

My mistakes this past year:

1. Buying a pair of jeans that were a little too big in the front. As the denim stretches out, I get a wad of fabric at the crotch, which is not a good look. But I learned from that and did not keep a pair of lovely jeans that I got at NAS, since they had the same slight excess of fabric.

2. Buying a menswear-inspired item. I like my wardrobe to be decidedly feminine, but every now and then my interest is piqued by a menswear-inspired item. This past year it was a pinstriped vest from Banana Republic. It sat in my closet all year with the tags on. I took it to consignment this spring. Moral of the story: No more menswear-inspired items, no matter how much I am tempted in the moment!

I am also finding that very basic essentials, like crew-neck long-sleeved t-shirts, are boring me to death. I used to buy a lot of Caslon t-shirts at Nordstrom because they were simple and would go with a lot of stuff. But I am finding that they are really not my style. So I will be looking for more interesting essentials moving forward.

Bijou

Veteran

I am really enjoying this thread because all the comments resonate with me. My goodness, I think I have made all mistakes already mentioned at least once - and like Jenni NZ, no more high heels (over 2 inches) for me in the foreseeable future.
My most common mistakes are:
Replacing a beloved worn out item and the new item not quite working for me whether because it is subtly different from the original or just I have moved on from that, both situations have arisen.
Items being too classic don't work for me. I have a lovely navy blazer that is a classic cut and I never wear it. Why? Because I bought a JCrew blazer with gold trim and a ruffle detail and I much prefer its more feminine and fun vibe.

cindysmith

Veteran

Some of my newest clothes have already been passed on. I gained weight, and when it came time to pull out my hot weather clothes... Well, I had to buy some that fit really quickly. So I kind of bought a bunch of stuff that I thought I might like, mostly fast fashion, just so I wasn't nekkid. Now I'm starting to see what works and what doesn't, so I'm passing some things on. Now that I've got my undergarments replace in my new sizes, I can concentrate on replacing the not-quite-right pieces with nicer things that will be more likely to work for me. I'm trying not to beat myself up too much over the mistakes, because I actually haven't had very many at all for the last couple of years. I have to keep reminding myself that I did have to rush to get things in my new sizes, so it's only natural that some of it just didn't work out.

krishnidoux

Veteran

Such wisdom here! What a great thread idea. Very informative posts from everyone. It takes courage to recognize one's own mistake. I also admire you Penny for getting rid of mistakes as soon as you discover them. This is a healthy attitude that prevents unnecessary guilt.

I am with Suz about our weather this year, our rainy, cold spring and short summer have had a major effect on my style. Fortunately, I bought less things, and consequently made less mistakes. But I have made them and still will I'm sure!

Some mistakes:
- Two flower print cotton tulip skirts: too light for most days, and then not quite my style, so when on those days when it was warm enough for me to wear them came around, I never felt like reaching for them anyway. Proudly bought them for a memorable price tag three years ago. Kept pulling them out and storing them away religiously every year. I think next year they'll stay in storage. Lesson: It's not because it was expensive that it is immune to being a mistake.

- Large and loud flower print cotton long sleeve tee. I just have a hard time with crew necks on me. Add to this a difficult-to-match print, and you get... an orphan-mistake staple of your closet (not of your outfits). Lesson: Respect my personal preferences more, and don't get something with a feature I already dislike unless everything else is stellar.

- Still trying to decide on a pair of flat pointed toe t-strap patent white and gold pumps. Everytime I put them on, I don't like my silhouette in them, although they look so trendy. Maybe too trendy... maybe that's the problem. Lesson (maybe): It's not because it's trendy that it has to work for me.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

What I really wish and hope is that I can learn from the previous mistakes and not make them again. I hope the strategy I used yesterday at the Designer Garage Sale does work. I had my tracking lists of all my clothes in my handbag and sat down after spying the top I did end up buying ( before I tried it on) to look at what pants and shoes were on the list. There was another top too that was a contender. Then tried both on, one clearly didn't fit and one did. I also managed to decline a different top that I think I may have bought without YLF. It had blue pansies on. I adore pansies and maybe in the past would have bought it. Just wasn't quite flattering and in the clear light of today ( next day) I know I made the right decision. Maybe I am learning, I hope so!

JAileen

Veteran

My oft repeated mistake: if one is good, two are better. Of course then I prefer one of the two, and wear it instead of the other one.

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