Red dress for wedding guest..yay or nay? - YouLookFab Forum

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Red dress for wedding guest..yay or nay?

Aquamarine

Veteran

Assuming tasteful, not body-con, and simple, would you wear a red dress to a wedding as a guest? I’ve been looking at dresses per my earlier thread and have come across a couple of red, tasteful options (both patterned and non-patterned) that I am kind of drawn to for some reason (sorry, no finds on my iPad). All short-sleeved so they don’t necessarily skew holiday. There doesn’t appear to be a consensus on whether red is a no-go, just strong feelings in both camps when I search online etiquette sites.

I can’t wear warm reds, just cool blue-reds if that makes a difference.

Dressing

25 replies

Latest reply was from Jenny

em

My go-to gown for evening weddings is in-your-face red.

smittie

Veteran

Yes, I would.

Bijou

Veteran

I would wear red, but I have never heard that red was inappropriate. Wearing either white or black tends to be more of an issue in Australia.

Runcarla

Veteran

Why not? No weddings on my calendar, but I wouldn't rule out red. The only colour(s) that I generally avoid are white/cream and black, though I did wear a black ball skirt and cream shirt to a NYE wedding where formal attire was the code.

Joy

Veteran

Red could be inappropriate for an Asian wedding because the bride may be wearing red. I have been to some where the bride wears a Western white gown to the ceremony, then changes into her traditional red dress for another ceremony and the reception.

MsMary

Veteran

Yes, don't wear red to an Asian wedding. Beyond that, to the extent there is a "rule" against red at weddings, it's similar to the "no-white" rule -- don't pull the spotlight from the bride. You know your bride and the crowd, so you know best whether (a) the bride would be upset, and (b) the crowd would tut-tut.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

YES, unless it's a Chinese wedding. Red is left for the bride - to Mary's point.

I have worn a lot of red dresses to weddings.

Anonymous

I wear fuchsia, so why not red? I say definitely try it.

Bennett

Veteran

It is not a no-go. Those are old rules. As long as you are tasteful and appropriately dressed, you're good in red.

Anonymous

I don't see why not, especially for a fall wedding!

bridgie

Veteran

Aquamarine, good to see your post. I am rooting for you! If you remember from your last post on this subject, I responded I have a wedding to attend around the same time.

I will be posting concerning my issues shortly. Hopefully, before the wedding.

I cannot begin to suggest what you should wear, but as usual other women on this forum are coming thru with good info.

I do know that once I post I will receive help and feel better and wonder why I didn't think of this or that! Right now I am in a holding pattern, requiring patience and that is/is not one of my best gifts.

Not intending to hi-jack your thread, so once again, wishing you the best of luck in finding the dress for you and keep us posted.

..

Sara L.

Veteran

I've always heard not to wear white/ivory to not upstage the bride. Nice to know about red at Asian weddings. I haven't attended one and didn't know about that rule.

rachylou

Veteran

I don’t see why not either. And I feel there’s probably even a way to wear red to a Chinese wedding, just maybe not a red DRESS

Jenni NZ

Veteran

I did wear red to a wedding of a young relative in Nov 2017. It didn’t seem a problem at all and I had compliments on the outfit and didn’t hear any criticism. I will not be wearing red to my daughter’s wedding in Vietnam because she will wear a red ao dai (traditional Vietnamese costume) to one event and a white Western wedding dress to the other. To clarify, she is not Vietnamese but new husband is. My sister has asked if she may wear a dull brick red animal print maxi to the tea ceremony and been told yes no problem by my daughter, a quite different red. Here is my dress in Nov 2017.

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Jenni NZ

Veteran

Mind you I had no idea in 2017 that there might have ever been an issue wearing red, and my daughter may be going against some Vietnamese rule to say yes to my sister, but I think she is doing so much to please his family that she wouldn’t care, she is going to let her aunt wear what she wants to, having seen a pic of the dress. I am so hoping I don’t make any faux pas!

The Cat

Veteran

In parts of Scandinavia, there is an odd saying that if you are wearing red, you are signaling that you have had an affair with the bridegroom. Not all people know about this strange assumption, and I personally hadn't heard about it until a few years ago, but it seems that this has become a "rule", and warning against wearing red in weddings have recently been repeated a lot of times on fashion/etiquette websites.

I have worn red in some weddings previously, and nobody made any negative comments--though I do remember that one official photographer (who met me for the first time), expressed that she was surprised I was wearing red. However, she didn't tell me about said rule, but just added that red is a colour which attracts a lot of attention, also in pictures--and of course, we would all want the bride and groom to be the ones in focus.

Personally, I think the "avoid wearing red, because red signals an affair with the groom" is a silly rule. And I have observed that some of our royals, who are well advised about etiquette, have ignored it--but then they have also been critied for it on websites.

Anyway, I don't want to hurt people's feelings, and I also don't want people to start rumours because of my outfit, so at present, I would avoid wearing a dress in either red, white or black when attending a wedding here in Scandinavia.

By the way, last week I attended a wedding where a grandmother of the groom wore an elegant bright red dress. I heard no negative comments about it. But again, she was his grandmother, so she was probably "allowed" to wear red, and nobody would think they had had an affair.

cjh

(website)

Veteran

I wore a red dress to my older daughters wedding.

Echo

Veteran

As was already mentioned, I think you probably know the bride and the crowd better than anyone here. Of course, red is not acceptable for many Asian weddings (much like white is not acceptable for many western weddings), but the "no red" rule is mostly to avoid drawing attention to oneself. The general rule at a wedding is to look presentable and nice, but not to wear something loud, overtly sexy or anything that draws the eyes of other guests. Red is color that often pops in photos, too, so you may be quite noticeable in pictures, too.

Sal

Veteran

I would do so. I have also worn black and white to weddings. But I think NZ is relatively free of these types of rules and expectations. I still would wear white (but not in a bridal style) and I would wear black and red.

The Cat

Veteran

General advice: If in doubt, ask the bride and/or the hosts.

Aquamarine

Veteran

Sorry to have posted and run. So many interesting responses here.

Em...Good for you! I love a woman with confidence.

smittie....Glad to hear it. I can relate to your style, from what I remember of it, so it makes me feel better if you’d wear red.

Bijou...You always look stunning in your formal wear, and I am sure you’d rock a red dress in a classy way at a wedding.

Runcarla...I like your attitude. I remember that wedding outfit...so elegant.

Joy...I did know that red could be inappropriate for an Asian wedding. This is not an Asian wedding.

MsMary...I am not sure of this crowd. I only know the groom’s family well and I doubt they’d care. I also doubt I’ll steal anyone’s thunder, LOL, at my age

Angie...Thanks for weighing in. Glad to hear you don’t think twice about wearing red.

Sterling...Yes, I have wondered what’s the difference between red and other bright colors.

Bennett...Well said. Always good advice.

suntiger...More like late summer, at night. Close enough, I think.

bridgie...I’d been looking for your promised post. I am looking forward to it. Thanks for the support!

Sara...I guess it’s more complicated than we knew.

rachylou...haha

Jenni NZ...You look lovely in your red dress. Thanks for sharing that photo. It can be tough to navigate cultural differences for these special events. Thanks goodness for the Internet and YLF!

The Cat....Well, now you’ve given me pause.

cjh...Thanks for weighing in.

Echo...I had heard of the photo issue. This is a second wedding so I am not sure if there will be formal photos. I tend to think not.

Sal...Thanks is for sharing the NZ perspective.

The Cat...Good advice but I don’t know the bride well enough and I think the groom would have no clue, like most men!

Diana

Veteran

Agree with Rachy. (And speaking as a Chinese person). I wouldn’t wear a 100% red dress but I actually think red accessories or a red patterned dress are perfect for weddings. It’s a good luck color. Here’s what I wore to the last wedding I attended.

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Style Fan

Veteran

I definitely would wear a red dress to a wedding. By the way, my wedding dress was red not white.

unfrumped

Veteran

I am certainly no expert but I don’t personally feel anti- red. I agree that there may be a possibility that red PLUS certain style choices — length, strapless, fabric, etc veer to attention- getting/ club/ sexy date night more obviously than another color. But I have seen plenty of non- red wedding guest dresses that did that!

Jenny

Red is my favorite color and the best choice for every event in my opinion. No matter if it is for work, night out or a special occasion (like a wedding)!