I don't have your body type, so my suggestions may not be as helpful, but here:
1)
Have you tried a Beltaway? It's a stretchy belt (so it won't budge, whether you're sitting & standing) with a slim buckle (so it should fit cleanly under your tops without adding any bulk around the waistline closure).
They have their own website or Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/Beltawa.....00CEM3YB4/
Here's a tutorial so you can see it in action - you don't have to tuck your top (like in the Instagram video) but it does prove it doesn't move!
https://www.instagram.com/p/Cn2YGTMJ7aE/
2)
Speaking of which, have you checked out Alison Gary? I linked her IG above but she also has a blog called Wardrobe Oxygen - I find her tips relatable because she doesn't have a model's body:
You mentioned that dressing for wintertime is easier than hot weather, so here are some tips on how to hide your belly during summertime:
https://www.wardrobeoxygen.com.....ly-summer/
Since you said you're more of a visual person, here's a helpful post of the SAME model in different clothes to visualise how different cuts drape:
https://www.wardrobeoxygen.com.....yle-rules/
My last tip would be to not be so hard on yourself about gaining weight & having to 'relearn' how things fit - it's all a process. I know you may not be there yet, here's a helpful guide on tucking demonstrated on Allie herself:
https://www.wardrobeoxygen.com/styling-a-stomach/
Hope you managed to glean at least something useful from all that (or that you report back honestly if not)!