OK. Keep in mind I don't actually usually measure anything when I make this so I'm guessing at some of the amounts for the seasonings and stuff. But they're easy to adjust to taste.
Also, this is a very inauthentic but very quick and easy version. You can do it in like 10-15 minutes. I also change up some things from the "real" version for personal tastes - for example, restaurant versions tend to be very oily and I don't like that/it's not healthy so mine does not have that chili-oil slick on top. But you could add some chili oil (either store-bought or homemade) at the end if you want.
Mix together:
1/4-1/3 lb ground pork (you can use beef if you prefer, or probably any ground meat)
1 t cornstarch
1 t soy sauce
1 t oyster sauce
1-2 T water
Cook this in a pan with a little oil, breaking it up as you go, until it's just done. (The cornstarch/water means it stays pretty soft, which is what you want.) Then toss in and saute for a minute or so:
1 garlic clove, minced
~1/2 t minced ginger
dried chilis, broken up a little
1 fresh chili, chopped up
~1 t szechuan peppercorns, smashed a bit (or use powdered but I'd probably use less if so)
(CONFESSION: I often leave ALL of these out when I'm being v. lazy and it still comes out delicious.)
Add in 1 pack of tofu cut into cubes (my favorite is actually silken but any kind works, depends on how soft you like the dish) and stir around for a minute or two.
In the meantime, mix:
~1 T cornstarch
~2 T soy sauce
~2 T oyster sauce
~1 cup water
(how much water depends on how wet you like your sauce. You can add more during cooking if it's too thick, or add more cornstarch slurry if it's too runny.)
Dump this in the pan and stir it all around. Let it simmer for 5 minutes or so. (You basically just want the tofu to get hot.) At this point, I often squeeze in some sriracha, particularly if I haven't added the chilies earlier. You can also taste and adjust the seasonings at this point.
Toss in 1-2 sliced up scallions right before you turn off the heat.
Serve with rice and enjoy!