Receiving compliments on clothes/make-up from men you don't know

Anonymous

Has this happened to you?

I recently complemented a sales assistant in a shop on her lovely fingernails and nail polish and last year, brightened up a lady's day when I told her I reall like her leather skirt.

13 years ago

General

9 replies

Latest reply was from Aziraphale

Vildy

Veteran

I've never received compliments on my makeup and I wouldn't want any. I do get
compliments on my eyes, my hair.

I do get compliments on clothing items and from men, as well. But I don't like this.
From any person. I'm a big subscriber to Goffman's theory of the presentation of self in everyday life: backstage/offstage and onstage. I consider the items that make up my
outfit to be components of the offstage look: the time I took to put it together. But if someone is singling out particular pieces of it then the look fails for me.

Now, in total, I have been told things like I'm a sharp dresser by men or that they liked the angle at which I cocked my hat.

I used to have this amazing black silk knit midi tank dress plus little jacket. Completely decorous but, being knitted, it would shift as worn and tiny bits of nudity
would show at times between stitches. I used to wear this to cocktail parties and some man would come up to me and struggle to say, 'I like your dress." I don't think they were really saying they liked the dress itself, but more the stunt of wearing it.

But I'm more grown up now and don't feel like playing those games and if you wear it with a dark slip underneath then you're just another grandma. So I gave it away.

13 years ago

Anonymous

I am aware some people don't like compliments.

13 years ago

biscuitsmom

Veteran

Ive gotten compliments on my hair and jewelry, but not clothing/makeup.....hmmm, am I doing something wrong in dressing?

13 years ago

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I've gotten compliments on outfits, clothes, hair and accessories from strangers (male and female), but never makeup. My makeup is pretty subtle though.

Compliments don't bother me, whether they're general or on a specific item, as long as they're genuine and appropriate in tone.

13 years ago

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

Compliments from a woman don't bother me, or even a flamboyantly gay man. Compliments from a man who appears to be straight eeks me out a bit, though. It just always makes me wonder what is at the root of it.

13 years ago

rachylou

Veteran

Clothes/outfits I get compliments on. I enjoy them... unless they're from a man with clearly no interest in style. Then you know he's socially awkward and is gonna go right past asking you out to coffee and tell you how much he's saved up and ask you to marry him. And of course then you have to be crushing to him, which never feels good.

13 years ago

Vildy

Veteran

ohh yeah, Chewy Spaghetti, I'm with you. Though I've said I don't prefer compliments, it's okay if the guy is smiling, doesn't break his stride and continues walking past me. But if he were standing next to me making conversation.... eeuw.

13 years ago

MsMary

Veteran

I would NOT like it if a stranger told me he "really liked my leather skirt." For me the ick factor is too high, given that a lot of men have fetishy-type interest in leather. In fact, generally I would not appreciate a strange man singling out aspects of my appearance and commenting on them. It seems way too intrusive to me.

13 years ago

Aziraphale

Veteran

Yes, I occasionally receive compliments, and I'm always glad to hear them -- from men or from women.

If a stranger commented on part my anatomy, that would be totally different; that's both annoying and off-putting. Those types of comments have the potential to be sexual in nature. I can't remember the last time it happened, however.

13 years ago

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