BM, please don't give into that feeling right now. I know that you have been going through hell. This would make anyone weary and beaten down. It seems that we are the last thing to worry about ..but don't give in to that.
Even if you feel that it is not worth it..please tell yourself that OTHER people do feel that you are worth it. YOU ARE !!!! Please tell yourself that. Allow yourself some time to feel a little frivolous and kind to yourself.
And worth is not measured in looks or clothing. One of my favorite sayings of all times is "fake it til you make it".
So frankly, I don't care if you are a "fraud" right now : ) Keep on doing it until you become it. Hey, I look in the mirror and I see my crooked leg and my uneven eyes with one hood really drooping, I see the damage to my skin and the big belly. I see it too. But I still tell my kids that the song " That's what makes you beautiful" by the teenage boy band was written for me ! I know that I am not Cindy Crawford.
Sometimes that is all we got ....but you ARE so wonderful and generous and kind and THAT is not FRAUDULENT. Look at your hands and think of all the people ( and dog ) that you have taken care of. Your hands have typed beautiful words here to support women and encourage them. Think of your heart and how it has been open and full for Steve and how supportive and kind you were to me with my cancer battle ( and you don't even KNOW ME ! ) . Think of your ears and how they listen to your sister through cancer. Think of how your imperfect body ( we all have imperfect bodies ) and how it has taken care of and nursed Biscuit through cancer. THAT IS BEAUTIFUL MY FRIEND. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL ! I don't even have to see a picture of you.
Please don't go away for long.