Ready to give up :( Update to give thanks - YouLookFab Forum

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Ready to give up :( Update to give thanks

biscuitsmom

Veteran

Mander's post on feeling deeply unfab really hit home with me and Im feeling like Im just putting on a sham/false front, trying so hard to convince myself that there *is* something worthwhile in trying to better my opinion of myself/my look, when in reality, I know that there really is no point I truly appreciate all the kind words/wishes Ive received here, but I feel like a fraud continuing....thank you all so much for the kindness you've shown me....

General

47 replies

Latest reply was from Mochi

Debbie

Veteran

This made me so sad. Why is there no point. You are a kind person and worth the effort. You are fab don't forget that!

Kim

Veteran

BiscuitsMom, what is the alternative to trying to convince yourself (we all do it) that there is a reason and a point to looking and feeling your best?

Optimism is never misplaced!

What is going on in your life, that you are not sharing with us that's making you feel so bad? We'd like to help if we can, or point you in the direction of help if that's what's needed, because we truly LIKE YOU and want you to like yourself as much as we like you (at the very least!)

Anybody who would post about a missing dog on such an obscure forum as this in hopes of helping it's owner find it is a good person in my books and deserves to feel good about herself!

C'mon back, we need to talk...

Sylvie

Veteran

Biscuitsmom, please, please don't give up or feel there is no point in investing in yourself. I know what it's like to be there and I know that when you're in that place, it's hard to believe what other people say.

Why is trying to be the best version of ourselves putting on a sham or a false front? Why are you a fraud? I certainly don't think of myself as a fashionista and fashion is so foreign to me, I feel like the kid who flunked two grades. But even if I'm a slow learner, that doesn't mean I can't be better today than I was yesterday and that doesn't mean it isn't worth trying.

Please, please believe in yourself. I don't know you and you don't know me, but you deserve to be happy with yourself and your style.

bj1111

Veteran

biscuitsmom, please stay with us. we need you as part of this community.

Inge

(website)

Wise words from the ladies, and they are absolutely right, BM. We all deserve to feel our best and you are absolutely worth the effort. I know that it can be very hard, and these things don't change overnight, but please don't give up hope, and do stay around and let us know if there's anything we can do to help?

KathyL

Veteran

This makes me so sad. Why do you feel like a fraud? We all deserve to feel good about ourselves in how we look and how we dress. I'm sorry you feel like you don't deserve this, but you do!!

ironkurtin

Veteran

We believe in you, BM.

rae

(website)

Veteran

Oh, BM, this makes me sad. Especially since I've felt this way, too - can't speak for everyone, but I have totally felt like a fraud at times, feeling like I was just "putting lipstick on the pig" when I tried to dress better (sorry for the crude phrasing, but I think that shows how mean we can all be to ourselves).

There absolutely IS a point to it all. You are the most important person in your life, and you deserve to be happy. Please don't give up. XOXOXO

Irene

Veteran

Hello.

I don't know you nor your situation, but I am dealing daily with a best friend with terrible self-esteem. It really makes me suffer. I am sure at least someone loves you out there (after all, you are a mom and maybe make delicious biscuits? :)) and that person believes in you and thinks you deserve the best.

You deserve to feel good. Even if you don't have the looks of (insert name here), it doesn't mean you don't deserve to learn to dress better and feel yourself better. Just because I'm no Shakespeare, it doesn't mean I don't have the right to learn to write AND write, if I want to. Just because I'm a really bad dancer, or singer, it doesn't mean I don't have a right to dance and sing. Just because I don't look like Kate Moss in a new MANGO coat, it doesn't mean I don't have the right to get it and feel great in it.

Life is unfair, and no one in this entire world is perfect. However, it is one of our rights to love ourselves, to accept ourselves for what we are and be loved for what we are. It is also our duty to exploit our abilities to their maximum, try to improve what can be better and fix our mistakes as long as it's possible.

Just hold on there, and don't give up.

Jem

Veteran

I hope you don't go away or give up. I'm feeling unfab, too. I don't think that's that uncommon. Please stay and get some support from the wonderful people here!

Mochi

Veteran

Sorry to hear this, biscuitsmom. I know the feeling too well. At one point--not that long ago--I was literally, I mean literally, wearing one pair of athletic shoes every day for over four months. I just hated looking in the mirror. None of my horrible, baggy clothes worked and my body was, and continues to be, very oddly proportioned.

I still struggle to feel good about myself...it does help to elevate my mood and self-esteem even to have and wear something as simple as a pair of oxfords.

All of us here are completely convinced of your worth and value. Please allow yourself a little time to indulge in these feelings, if need be, but also accept that that's what they are--feelings and a mental construction, not reality.

Deborah

Veteran

BM we are your friends, and friends are there through thick and thin. Friends accept one another with no conditions. You don't have to "be" anything but who you are for us. Stick around, we think you're special xx

cinnamon fern

Veteran

Biscuitsmom, please come back! I think a lot of us can relate to feeling like a fraud, at least I can. I spent most of my teens and twenties feeling like since I wasn't one of the cool/pretty girls, there was no point in trying to looking nice, who was I trying to kid? BUT, it turned out that this was neither an accurate nor a helpful way to look at the world. This is what I learned from Prozac. And really - it still cheers me up on a bad day to put on a killer outfit.

rachylou

Veteran

What?! Noooo, biscuitsmom! I love you and look forward to your posts!

Echo

Veteran

Sometimes the only point is giving ourselves permission to think about something else, to entertain ourselves with frivolity. And you know what? Sometimes that's enough. I engage in fashion as more of an entertainment/academic pursuit as opposed to a hobby or a practice sometimes, and that's fine, too. I think we all have days/weeks/sometimes months when we feel down about ourselves or our situations or life in general. I have times when I feel like nothing fits, so why bother anyway? But sometimes coming to a forum like this and seeing the pictures reminds me that maybe I could try something I see here, and it helps to draw me out of the mood I was in. Sometimes just focusing on something other than our own problems can lift our spirits.

There IS a point to engaging with other people and to engaging in life, even if it is online. Even if you don't feel like your style is making progress, the people you interact with here are real and the discussions we have are real. That alone is worth the effort, even if you never post a picture or you wear the same outfit everyday. We will miss you if you go.

sarah

Veteran

Biscuits Mom, you sound really down. Do you have a friend you can talk to about it?

shiny

Veteran

For you, http://www.theonion.com/articl.....now,29794/

Laurinda

Veteran

Big hugs to you!

Jonesy

Veteran

I agree with everyone else--don't give up on yourself! Stay connected with people who are caring and care about you :)! BIG HUGS to you.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

And more hugs and positive vibes from me. This community cares about you - please know that.

Biscuits Mom, I'd love to help you. Post a photo of yourself and I just know that we can change your mind.

xoxo

catgirl

Veteran

BM just chiming in to say you have us to talk to and we need you here! Please don't be so hard on yourself - it doesn't even have to be about fashion, this is a community and you are very valued and wanted. Don't go!

Debora

Veteran

Biscuitsmom, please do not leave our community!!! You are one of my very favorite posters and I always love it when you (and Biscuit) comment on my posts. This forum is bigger than just fashion - it's also about friendship and the connections we've formed with one another. You are such a valuable part of this! You are always generous with your time and comments and there is nothing fraudulent about that!

Jamie

Veteran

Biscuitsmom -- lots of hugs to you. I hope you stick around. I have felt exactly as you do, and many days, I don't feel all that fab. I just keep trying. This community is such a wonderful place. Just know that you aren't alone, and we're all here to help.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I'm so sorry that you're feeling so down. It is such a tough place to be. And you deserve some light and happiness. You have been having a very rough go of it lately, and have experienced a lot of stress, and that always makes things seem worse.

Please know - you are not a fraud. You are a wonderful member of this community who is very bravely putting doing her best.

I hope you have a friend you can talk to, and I hope you will continue to share with us.

Anonymous

Biscuitsmom, please don't leave or feel like a fraud. We are each dealing with the cards we were dealt and, with Angie's advice and example as well as our friends here, we try to do better. However, there are times that it seems like it's two steps back for every one we take ahead. Hugs!!

Lyn D.

Veteran

Sending positive energy your way today B.M.
Please stay in touch!

cheryl

Veteran

Sending big hugs your way. Please stay, we are here for you.

Caro in Oz

Veteran

It sounds like things have been very hard for you lately. Please don't feel that this somehow defines who you are. There is a lot of love & kindness to be had on this forum & I hope you stay around & enjoy some of it but I understand if that's not possible right now. Lots of positive thoughts coming to you from the land down under.

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

Come, now, my dear, you are fantastic! We all feel like a sham now and then, but you've got to fake it till you make it!

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