Sihaya is a closet "J" - believe me!

Dani and Julia, for what it’s worth, it’s not too late to change. 40 is the new 30.

Dani I know that it's very hard to change one's career after a certain age. Passion is not the only thing you need to consider and we all have families and other responsibilities. Those who are doing what they love are very lucky, like Angie. You are the only one who can decide whether it's too late or not. I hope that you can figure it out soon. It took me long to figure it out myself.

I'm back. I'm glad everyone likes the rating system idea. Now I have a wrench to throw in. Everyone likes the idea a 1 to 5 scale. To keep things positive how about we have a 6-10 scale and if somebody needs to give something away, we will just say that rather than rating them a 1. And the rating system is such that we are rating various levels of good. Something like

6 - good but you can do better
7 - solid, you hold your own in a group
8 - your style is starting to simmer; people are starting to take notice
9 - always turning heads for a good long look
10 - stepped out of vogue

Nobody is shooting for less than good so why rate that? If anything is less than a 6 just say less than a 6 and/or give reasoning in words. It may sound strange not to bring this down to 1-5 but psychologically, I think saying your outfit rates 10 just sounds better than a 5. Also, fit is a separate issue which should always be addressed first.

I'm also a giver. Don't know for sure but I think I'm split E/I NFJ.

Julia, that's so weird. One of my friends also wanted to go into architecture and ended up in IT. I think her father played a large role here and she was born in Malaysia. I am also one of those who probably should have gone a different direction but the direction I went isn't so bad.

I've heard a statistic that these days, people are likely to change careers 7 times in their lifetime or something like that. I haven't ruled it out for myself. But there is a personality issue, that I have a hard time with change. It's easier to let things continue as they are. But I do plan to be a SAHM sometime relatively soon and from there, who knows. Maybe that will make it easier to transition.

Patience I love your 6-10 rating scales, we do strive to be a '10' when we come here, don't we?

How funny, my Dad also played a large role in my career choice. I don't regret it but just thought that I could have enjoyed my career more. Using your scale, I'd rate my career choice a 7.

Julia, same here concerning the 7. My father also played a large role in my career choice. I don't regret it either, but it makes me feel much more educated about helping my children choose their careers.

I like you're rating system, Patience. I'm going to have to write it all down and post it by my computer to remember

Sorry, I didn't mean to sound down if my post came off that way. I've been happy in my career choice and it's well suited to my detail oriented nature but I don't feel my career fulfills me in a way that it could have. Right now, I'd have to give up being a SAHM to change and I'm not sure that's what I want to do. It's always in the back of my mind. I don't regret any of my choices either, but like Patience, I hope I can learn and be more helpful for my kids as well.

BTW, does anyone have a good link to a free MB test?

How interesting, I have a very similar experience. I've worked in software and IT all my life but it was never a passion. It wasn't so much my parents' pressure as circumstances. I took the Myers-Briggs test over 10 yrs ago and I was ISTJ, which supposedly is aligned with my career path... still I would also rate it about 7 I'm also wondering if it's too late to change careers, esp. with little kids.

Patience, try this one for the MB test: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

i believe i'm an estj, although i don't yet have time to take the official quiz. from what i can tell though, it's pretty accurate. i can be a bit opinionated at times and have a tendency to share it.

as to how this relates to this forum, i hope i dont come across at all abrasive. i genuinely love everyone's outfits, and it's great to see how open everyone is to comments/critiques, but if i see an area that's lacking, ill mention it. i guess i'd rather find out here that an outfit isn't the greatest than have anyone in the "real world" think i look stupid.

so, i'm all for implementing the rating system, if an individual wants it.

Dani and Julia, it's never too late change careers if you really want to! I met a gal in Spanish 1 my first day at the community college here in Austin. We were both going back to school after a years long break, except I was 25 and had no kids, and she was 37 and had 4 kids! The youngest was 5. It was more challenging for her of course, because she would send the kids off to school, run to classes herself and then run home so she could be there when her kids got off school. Both of our goals were to transfer to the University here, which is notoriously difficult to do. GPA is really paramount. We ended up in the same Spanish 2 class as a fluke, and then planned to take 3 and then 4 together, and we became friends. We both applied to UT and we're both starting this fall together! I'm so excited. Even though we'll be in different programs, we have classes about the same time, so we plan on getting together a few times a week for lunch or to study. She worked while her husband was in school, and then was a SAHM, and now she said that it's her turn to get her degree, which she always wanted to do, and it's really an inspiration to me to see her follow her dreams and still be able to be a great mom and wife.

Sorry, long story. I guess my point is I really think that age is just a number, and if there is something you find that you really want to do, I just know you can do it. Plus, you might end up inspiring people you never thought you would before.

P.S. Patience, I really like this new system. If it's below a 6, then we can just give an explanation like we do now as to why maybe it's not the most flattering thing, etc.

This is turning into quite the thread. Here are my thoughts:

o Love the ranking system of 6-10. (10 = KILLER). Perfect 10’s have already been scored. Brilliant.
o The MB’s test can be short or very involved. We’ve done both,. It’s worth the time and financial investment.
o I am in constant conversations with 40+ year olds about career change. I think it’s worth thinking seriously about. I am aware of the practical and financial implications. But if you don’t try and make it happen, you’ll never know. I suppose that’s one of the best decisions I ever made – getting out of Psychology and going into Fashion Buying. But I was 21 when I made this decision.

Let constructive ranking begin!

Dani & Julia - I can totally relate to what both of you are saying. I too went into IT which was never a passion, and have long felt that I need to make the change to pursuing something I really love. I also understand that there lots of implications (including financial ones)! I've been working with a life coach which has been really helpful. I still haven't figured out how to pursue my passion and make ends meet but I know that making a change is important - it just may be a longer timeline than I would really prefer. I also feel that my children see me doing something I really love - because I'm always telling them that THEY should go in that direction!

Oh, myers briggs...I'm an ESTJ...but remember that there are degrees of it. If I am recalling correctly when my friend was so into it (an INTP) the scores are like in a quadrant, and so you are either toward the middle (not so extreme) or the edge (way out there!) of each category. So even though one might be the same type, the varying degrees of each "letter" would show up quite uniquely for each. On several I was in the center.

Also, with career things...you're greatest area of revelation/inspiration, I've read, is in your opposite area. So for me, arenas that are typically INFP have offered me the greatest growth and expansion. So that might be something to consider if you are looking for a place to contribute/work!

Some food for thought on the changing career thing... My mom just started a new career at 61 - in real estate, no less. Some would say she's crazy, I'm sure. After a lot of angst about the late transition and having to sit for exams, she is happy and doing well despite the crazy market. I'm couldn't be more proud.

And my mother-in-law, had a successful career in nursing when she, a single mom in her thirties, decided to go to law school. She now owns her own firm.

As Julia said, everyone has individual circumstances and must make decisions based upon those factors. Nonetheless, I get a lot of inspiration from the amazing women in my life. And, by the way, they are both amazingly stylish.

Okay, the rating system is officially dubbed "Constructive Rating System" as per Angie's suggestion. We can ask for CRS in threads to make it perfectly clear that it's requested.

I've just read through this thread and this sounds great.

However, I'm thinking it might be helpful to explain the final version of the new rating system in a separate thread (you know: ratings from 6 to 10 with their descriptions, the fact that it's on a request only basis, that other comments are still welcome etc.) and make this a 'sticky feature'.

That way, it can be a concise reference guide, and new forum members and people who haven't been following this thread will immediately know what we're talking about.

What do you think?

I like the 6-10 rating system idea a lot. And the idea of a sticky feature as a reference/reminder is a great one.

A very wise woman I know once said, "I'm too old to be working at a job I don't enjoy." She had just changed careers at 50. I was in my mid-20s at the time, but I decided that we are *all* too old to be working at jobs we don't enjoy.

P.S. I'm an INFJ.

I took Julia's test and came out ISFJ, but not strongly so in any category.

Yes, I think a reference for the rating system is a good idea. Let's wait and see what Angie suggests on how we proceed with this.

Becky that is such a statement! You guys are making me re-evaluate my decision now...

Me too

Now that’s truly fabulous Julia and Dani. Keep us posted. I was talking about this very topic with someone at lunch today. You are NOT alone.

Patience, I like the way you think and Inge makes a good suggestion. Please post a separate thread about the new “CRS”- (constructive rating system) and we’ll make it sticky.

Patience = love the 6-10 system, thank you for continuing to put thought into this! Angie - you know me dangerously well (closet J). It's never too late to switch fields - I've done it 3 times (architecture, IT, executive coaching) and finally feel totally in my groove. It's *very* common for people in their 40's and early 50's to consider a career change and many of my clients fall in this category. It's when you reach "middle age" and want a job/career that is more meaningful to you and where your needs for significance are better met. So go for it ladies. If anyone needs an official Myers Briggs, I'm happy to do it for you.