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Quote on Beauty Peak - men and women

Synne

Veteran

Such a great thread about noteworthy style quotes on the forum recently. Got me thinking about something.. I don't remember where I picked it up, but it was this conversation about how when you reach your "peak" and how it influences the rest of your life. When it comes to fashion choices.

For men it is usually when they peak career wise or economically. That's why you see old men dressed in suits from yesteryear. Shameless comb overs. (It also got me thinking about Jon Bon Jovi, lol, and how he refused to drop his mullet and 80's glam-rocker look for so long).

For women it was when they felt the most beautiful, and this is the reason many women cling to their notion of how make-up should be applied, or how hair should be done. They still put on make-up like the way they did when they where younger, or in another phase in life. Hence why some women try so hard to look (their idea of) youthful, but only end up looking older(!).

Quite provocative, but I also feel guilty of this. I am in my mid-thirties, but still apply make-up the way I always did. Rosy cheeks and a smudge of pearly shimmery eye shadow. Ha ha! I don't even know how to do it differently, or what suits me anymore.

Any thoughts on this?

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Dressing

33 replies

Latest reply was from rachylou

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Well, it’s an interesting idea. I do agree about the make-up. I think I still apply blusher high on my cheekbones like I did in the 80s ( my 20s). I am aware I am doing it and try not to put too much, but not sure of another way. My eyes have become hooded with age so I feel eye makeup only highlights that, so I avoid it.

Synne

Veteran

Yes, Jenni. I have noticed that young people don't even do make-up this way anymore. It's all about contouring and neutrals now. So I am aware I look very "trying to look 18 in 2004" when I do this. But if I did the whole Kardashian-war-paint I would feel very strange.... hm..

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Yeah, but the Kardashian- types don’t have very relatable lives to most people do they? Could you find a celebrity closer to your own age who is more relatable and look at pics of her when she is not overly done up, to see?

Synne

Veteran

They all look so fresh and bare faced, like they arent even wearing any make-up.. which they probably aren't, right? Maybe I should book me a make-up-stylist appointment..

Style Fan

Veteran

I feel pretty good about myself these days but if I were to pick a time from the past it would be my 30s (the nineties). In my 30s I wore hardly any make-up. I might wear mascara, lipstick and a tiny bit of eyeshadow on a daily basis. For special events, I had a friend who was a make-up artist do my make-up. I had shoulder-length or longer hair and sometimes bangs. I think the layers came in my 40s.
Now I wear more eyeshadow and eyeliner. I watch lots of YouTube videos to figure out how to do it. I trust my hairstylist to keep my hair up to date. I also don't do anything to it. My hair is on its own.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

I think it can be hard to get a makeup stylist who “gets” you, maybe similar to finding a clothes stylist who “gets” you, as sadly there aren’t many as good as Angie in the world even although there are lots of them in every country. I used one in 2010- she wasn’t as good as I can see Angie is, but she did still help me, and I wore some of the tops she helped me find for many years, and actually can still wear ( infrequently) one of the pairs of pants.
I admit I haven’t tried a makeup artist except for some of the ones doing free sessions at NZ Fashion Week, and I’ve never liked what they did so I stopped trying. But whether it’s partly because I have some outdated version of myself in my head, well....
We have been talking on the forum lately about older women ( and I think we mean those in their late 70s/80s, it’s the mothers of those in their 50s) who insist on clinging to perms, this is probably an example of what you are talking about.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I don't know about this observation — to me it seems grounded at least as much in sexist and ageist assumptions as in empirical evidence.

I grant you that a lot of people (men and women) seem to "freeze" their overall look in the era of their youth. (Some people freeze their musical taste in the same era).

For some, It might be the era they felt most powerful or hopeful or whatever -- or maybe it was just the last time they paid attention to fashion (or music) at all. Maybe they have other priorities as they get older.

A lot of older people *do* keep up with fashion, and a subset of that group develops individual style.

slim cat

Veteran

I do my understated make up/hairdo differently than I did in younger years ( shine, bright blue... perm in my hair ). My sensitive eyes don't like mascara and pencils - more felt tip/liquid eyeliner and a bit of eye shadow plus some brow defining tricks. Started doing blush just a year ago. Probably should watch some of new things on youtube.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I'm with Suz on this. I also have heard this same sort of philosophy around people's music taste -- they tend to listen to what they liked when they "peaked."

Maybe this rubs me the wrong way a little because I don't feel at all like my best days are behind me. Was I prettier when I was younger? By standards of convention, yes. But I wasn't happier. I am true to myself but not stuck in the past -- it's that way when it comes to my style...and my music.

kellygirl

Veteran

I feel like most people I know have aged pretty well and don't seem to be holding on to their youth. I think once you get past a certain age, priorities change and maybe appearances don't seem as important as when we were younger? I've always worn makeup but in the camp of understated--I didn't realize how much so until we lost power and I was coming into the office without makeup and everyone said I looked the same (not sure if they were being nice or if my application is really that light.)

Synne

Veteran

Yes, sexist and ageist, I agree. Wonder where I picked up this quote/conversation. Have been binge watching old Trinny and Susannah episodes, maybe from there.

But as I said, I do feel it applies to me, at least make-up wise. That speaks more of my lack of creative effort, than anything else.. I sure hope my best days aren't behind me. When it comes to fashion and style that at least would be a flat out LIE, lol. I see a lot of stylish ladies of every age all the time, so that doesn't worry me!

rachylou

Veteran

Hmm. I’m thinking perhaps that a person de facto peaks when they stop growing and changing. I’ve got an old friend. I remember him making fun of my new (at the time) Anthropologie tapestry coat ... he thought it was ‘old lady.’ I guess because tapestry is old? But anyways I’m looking at him in his Magnum PI Hawaiian shirt and I say to him, *Dude, look at you! You found your decade and you’re just wearing it and wearing it - and it was the 80s! It’s not the 80s!* Anyways, vampire lipstick and the nude mouth (nude as in the same colour as your face) with brown eyeshadow is out. Lol

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Hmmm. I’d define my “peek” either in terms of my career or of when my kid was doing well. I don’t associate either of those with a “look”.

When I was much younger, in high school, I wore lots of blue eye shadow and pink blush on my cheeks. That is clearly not my style.

These days, I’ve started to wear makeup again. If it highlights the fact that I’m aging because I’m trying to look younger, I’d appreciate it if people say so. I generally cover up the dark circles under my eyes, then use a bit of eyeliner just outside my lower lashes. I often use the same bronze eyeshadow or dark rouge to contour my cheeks, on my browbone (just under my eyebrows), and to dust my forehead.

Helena

Veteran

I relate to this. I agree with Suz that it can be ageist/sexist to generalize, but I also think it's natural to reach for the things you used when you felt really beautiful, in hopes of achieving that look again!

For me, my early 40s have resulted in some big changes to my makeup look - I was shocked once when I put on liquid eyeliner in a way I'd done many times in the past (a cat eye style) and it looked ridiculous because my eyes have become more downturned and hooded as the years have passed. It was a process for me to accept my changing face and update my makeup techniques to suit it. I think it would have been a shame if I'd just stayed stuck in that battle to wear what I wore, and I think that's maybe what this idea is getting at - that there are surely some women (and men) who just never accept the changes, and thus stay stuck in the past.

I also think probably there are a lot of people who just get busy with other things and choose not to follow/worry about their look, so they can end up looking dated. More power to them as long as they are happy!

I couldn't say when I "peaked" physically; all I know is I look back at photos that I never thought much about and now think, "damn, I was cute!!". So I choose to assume that 20 years from now I'll look back at 45-year-old me and think the same thing; therefore, I choose to believe I'm pretty damn cute now, even when I don't feel that way

Synne, I think you'll find your makeup style will evolve wonderfully - you have amazing style and a pulse on what's current! Just give it time!

Gigi

Veteran

I'm not sure whether the men's version (dressing when at their peak economically and career-wise) holds up to scrutiny. By that criterion, they should be wearing probably what they wore in their fifties and maybe sixties. I assume that would be when they are at the height of their earning power.

What I see is that both sexes can get stuck in the past. When people start aging, I think they try to "reclaim" the past somehow, but it doesn't work. Some people wisely see that it doesn't work and move on to deal with the present state of affairs. Others turn a blind eye to the aging and act as if it is not there. I know people in both camps.

Runcarla

Veteran

Well, I think that there is a mixed bag out there of how folks evolve their looks. DH evolved his looks over his career, and the only time he struggled was with his last posting. It was the most advanced position of his career, but the office was quite a few steps backwards in formality (ie: very casual). In retirement, he has changed once again, and when not in golf kit, looks quite natty in a slightly euro-chic way. Also, he’s grown a beard and ‘stache - which he’s never had - but always wanted. Having lost 20lbs since retiring, he has had a significant wardrobe overhaul recently, but hasn’t gravitated to the jeans and flannels of his 20’s, the chinos and flannels of his 30’s, the dress pants, shirts and ties of his 40’s, or the suits of his 50’s - but something entirely different.

I don’t think I dress or groom anything like I did in past ages. I probably do a bit more grooming (finally have the time!) than I did In past stages, though my hair style is reminiscent of how I wore it when I was 3-8.
maybe I actually dress like I did then, too! Sneakers, jeans, stripes and colour!

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Sal

Veteran

I can see where you are coming from Synne. I do know people who prefer 80s music and don’t venture away from Classic Hits type radio. And you can see people stuck in a fashion rut from a past era.

I have actually been thinking about booking a session with a makeup artist. Ideally they would try out my collection - and then take me shopping for additions so I have a basic set. If I go to a dept store you get stuck with one brand. I especially want help with foundation and lipstick - but I don’t know if this would work or not.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

I think it is definitely a thing. Far from a universal thing, but I have seen it plenty in my own family and also in the world.

Gaylene

Veteran

I think this is a rather odd conversation especially when those who are making those observations are also champions of a “wear what makes you happy” approach to fashion for themselves. If I’m expected to accept the fashion choices of young’uns who wear leggings, crop tops, and rainbow “messy” hair then, perhaps, they might consider extending that same courtesy to my preference for choosing nude lipstick, a precision-cut hairstyle, and dark-wash denim—all of which I’ve happily sported since my 30s. Otherwise, the disparaging tone of talking about older women as being “stuck” in a by-gone era comes off as as both ageist and sexist—as others have rightly pointed out.

Liesbeth

Veteran

I'm with Suz, I think this applies to some people and for different reasons but for many it doesn't. I think you are probably not super interested in makeup and therefore you haven't really evolved what works for you. Should you want to (cause fresh faced is still trendy imo), I would rather check out some youtube makeup guru for an 'everyday' video than pay a makeup artist, as I would think they select a more timeless look to work for you.

rachylou

Veteran

Hmm. The sitcom Married with Children comes to mind... about what happens when you peak in high school... so... you don’t have to be very old to start living in the past...

rachylou

Veteran

And what about Anna Wintour?

Jenni NZ

Veteran

I still think it’s a relevant conversation. As for it being ageist, is it not ageist for any one of us to “try” to look younger than we are? Thoughts?
As far as I can see Western culture wants us to try to look older until we are... I don’t know, maybe 21 or so, and then after that try to look younger. Ever heard a woman in her 40s say, “I’m trying to look 50”?

Jenni NZ

Veteran

What are you saying about Anna Wintour Rachy? Trying to look younger, or just sticking to a tried and true style for her?

Bijou

Veteran

A challenge for us all: How to have a signature style without being in a style rut?

For me it boils down to how fab do I feel with my style and is it authentic to me. If I am happy and confident, then I don't really care if others perceive me as being in a rut.

The question of when did I peak? That is interesting - because I have 'peaked' in different things at different times... My Mother said "Every age has its compensations". For me, this is true. I was most beautiful in my mid 20's but far less self assured and confident in my abilities than I am today.

As for make up, once a year I go and buy some new supplies. A new colour palette, a complete refresh of my staples. I do this, so that I know my make up is not past its use-by date and it gives me an incentive to play with some new products and colours.

Synne

Veteran

Lots of very interesting replies here, thank you.

As for Trinny and Susannahs show, (assumed I got this idea from there), it DOES all seem very dated now. Both the excessive groping and the flamboyant non-everyday outfits they force on reluctant people. That would not be acceptable today. I far prefer Trinny of today, I've mentioned her youtube-channel before, but it is a tresure trove on good styling tips, so worth mentioning again.

As for music taste frozen in time, I totally get that. And wheres the shame in that? It takes far more to impress me these days. I have so many found memories of the music of my youth. The feelings where stronger, colours so much brighter and song lyrics much more meaningful (to me)

I do feel stuck in a rut when it comes to make-up (and hair). It's the same face and hair I always had, so how go about it any differently? This is a big part of my style goals for the new year, to look my best in my new era. More grown-up. More intentional. These musings are part of that, I guess..

rachylou

Veteran

Well Anna Wintour’s hair is interesting. It’s lauded as her signature, her bob, and she’s always had it as far as I know. And she’s not just an icon of style, but of Fashion. Ever changing fashion. If you cling hard enough... well, I don’t suppose you can also immortalise your unchanging ways.

On the other hand, I’m pretty sure the hey day (sp?) of Vogue is over. I guess she’s old enough and rich enough and iconic enough that it doesn’t matter... but I suspect most of us have to worry about when our world disappears, as it inevitably does. If you don’t practice change, I feel it’s quite likely to do you in...

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Interesting about Trinny and Susannah and about Vogue. I only watched a very few T&S episodes and was also horrified by the groping at the women, wanting them to show their boobs etc. It seemed very British and maybe not the most classy of British ( apologies to the lovely Brits on the forum! ) Myself and my friends were not looking to be dressed to show our boobs off- although we are definitely a particular subset of Kiwi women. I did quite like their book “The Body Shape Bible”, it helped me at the time.
Yes Rachy I wonder if Vogue is past its best. I used to buy some of the Australian Vogues but have not felt very interested in them for several years.
I’m not sure what I think about Anna Wintour. Her hair certainly doesn’t change much. Nothing wrong with that?

Anonymous

Well DH hasn't changed at all as far as his style. He likes his light blue jeans and olive t shirts and hoodies- full stop. And still listens to 80s and 90s music and rewatch movies and TV he liked from that era. Says "that's when I was imprinted."

I'm always changing, always looking for the new things-style, music, fitness trends, etc. Don't always like all the new things, but can always find a few that speak to me!
I don't think either of us "peaked" yet. Certainly not economically/career wise. In looks, people think we're 10-15 years younger, so there's that.
I did call out DH for saying "when I was your age" to a clerk at Trader Joes though :/

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