Question about Christmas church attire (for the whole family)

Aziraphale

Quick question for those of you who attend church. There's a nice Anglican cathedral downtown and on Christmas Eve the Salvation Army brass band comes and plays Christmas carols, so this year we're thinking of taking the kids. Are you allowed to wear jeans in a church? Or do you have to wear a suit? I'm only ever in churches for weddings and funerals, so I really have no idea, but I'm pretty sure a cocktail dress would be too much. I'm not so much asking for myself, because I have a few skirt outfits that are somewhere in between dressy and casual, but my husband works in an industry where people don't wear suits, so most of his clothes are 'arty-casual'. For him, it's pretty much either jeans and a smart button-down shirt, or else a rather formal suit. And how about the kids? What should they wear? Does one dress them up for church at Christmas? My kids don't really own any dressy clothes, since we haven't had an occasion to dress up for several years.

14 years ago

Dressing

11 replies

Latest reply was from Deborah

Queen Mum

Veteran

I don't know where you live, but here in the Bay Area, nice jeans and a button down would be perfectly acceptable for men. A formal suit would probably be over the top actually. You will be fine in a nice skirt or dress outfit as well.. no need for cocktail wear.

As far as the kids, I think you could let them wear their nicest stuff and they would also be fine. Keep in mind that many people dress their kids to the nines for holidays, so you'll most likely see plenty of that, but if we were there, you'd see my boys in jeans unapologetically. (I think I've told the story of the Christmas Eve when I made them go buy themselves collared shirts to wear to church, and they complied, but never took their hoodies off through the whole service.)

14 years ago

Astrid

Veteran

I think it depends on what you like. I think smart casual with a nice pair of jeans is perfectly alright, but you can dress up too! My family always did dress up, because it was sort of a tradition. We didn't wear cocktail dresses or anything like that though, it still had to be weather appropriate because we often walked to church in the snow.

14 years ago

bj1111

Veteran

elisabeth...if i understand correctly, there is no mass, just a performance in a church?

if so, as long as everyone is clean and respectfully dressed, i see no reason to "get dressed up" if your closet is geared toward the casual end. kids can wear clean jeans, a polo shirt and non gym shoes. your hubby is good to go.

14 years ago

Anonymous

What Queenmum said. Even when we've attended other churches at Christmas time for a special performance, and I've forced my kids to wear more dressy clothes than they wanted too, there are always kids dressed in jeans, hoodies and sneakers every time (as mine are so helpful to point out to me). Enjoy yourselves! I love a good brass band!

14 years ago

Aziraphale

Veteran

Excellent -- good to hear that smart jeans and shirt will be fine!

QM - hehehe -- are your boys teenagers? That sounds about right. btw I didn't realize you live in the Bay Area. We lived in Marin for four years -- beautiful.

bj1111 -- I'm sure there will be a church service of some kind. It's not just a band performance, although that is the reason we will be going. (I believe in the spirit of Christmas, of loving and giving, and of appreciating friends and family, although we're obviously not Christian!).

14 years ago

Mamapicklejuice

Veteran

Looks like I'm going against the grain, but I would encourage dressing up out of respect for the occasion and your fellow church goers. Perhaps khakis and a sportscoat for dh, etc...but if that entails a whole shopping trip, then "clean and neat" is the order of the day. I did not realize you were "obviously not Christian" - should I have? I'm not sure that has any bearing on what you wear. It might be worthwhile to find out if the services are typically traditional or contemporary...that could give you a clue as to appropriate dress...this might be a very casual family event given the inclusion of the band.

Enjoy!

14 years ago

Aziraphale

Veteran

Thanks for your input, MPJ. I was just responding about to bj1111 about the service being an actual service and not just a performance that happens to be in a church, because I think that does affect how one might dress for the occasion. The reason I thought it was obvious that we aren't Christian is because if we were, then I would probably know what we should wear with out having to ask you guys! As it is, I just want to look appropriate and respectful....but not ridiculously over- (or under) dressed.

14 years ago

Mamapicklejuice

Veteran

Oh, got you. I figured you wouldn't know what to wear because it wasn't your church or denomination.

14 years ago

bj1111

Veteran

ok...if this is christmas eve service...people will be dressed up more than usual. so i would try to dress one level up from the general community norm. smart casual is a good level. BUT, in all faiths, we tend to emphasize inclusivity and hopefully you will be welcomed regardless of the level of dressiness as long as it's obvious you dressed respectfully. i have no doubt you and your family will be appropriately dressed without having to buy new clothes just to fit in.

14 years ago

(website)

Veteran

Wanted to concur that on Christmas Eve people are likely to be dressier (although, come to think of it, there will be a lot of people like you who don't always go to church, so the range might also be pretty wide). Having spent a lot of time in Episcopal/Anglican churches, I'd definitely err on the side of skirt/dress.

14 years ago

Deborah

Veteran

Elizabeth, Im in Australia which tends to be a pretty relaxed country style wise, but I think smart casual would be the order of the day unless someone you know who attends the church advises otherwise. Also some denominations are more conservative than others, but you could always call the church office and enquire re a dress code. My family does attend church and my husband is a pastor, and he ALWAYS wear jeans! but with a nice shirt (not tucked) and if my son (8) manages to get to church without getting "stuff" on his clothing Im happy. I on the other had tend to dress up but Im team dressy I prefer to be slightly overdressed rather than underdressed Hope you have a fun night.

14 years ago

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