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Dressing

About: Boyfriend Jeans: Three Years In

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question about BF jeans

qfbrenda

Veteran

My question: do boyfriend jeans have to be distressed? Mine are not and I don't think they were originally intended to be boyfriends, though I wear them that way. I've considered doing a bit of homemade distressing, but I'm not sure if I should. It feels a little like "mutton dressed as lamb" for a 41 yr old with a lot of gray hair.

What say you?

Dressing

16 replies

Latest reply was from shiny

Anonymous

I've just ordered 5 pairs of BF's to try for fit and none have real distressing, just a vaguely worn look. I'm not overly keen on a lot of distressing anyway. I don't think Angie has distressed ones, though I could be mistaken.

El Cee

Veteran

No, they do not need to be distressed. My current favorite is a pair of Old Navy Cropped Skinny Boyfriends in a dark wash (might be the Milkway?) with no distressing and very little fading.

Gracie

Veteran

Chiming in to say I do not like the heavily distressed look (where you can see a bit or a lot of skin through the fabric) for myself and prefer to leave it to the younger set. I think bfs can be non-distressed.

Kim in MN

gfbrenda, I really appreciate your comment. I am a 63year old recent retiree who has been giving much consideration to creating a relaxed new wardrobe. I've been readingYLF for a few months and have received great inspiration. I have been trying on boyfriend jeans in the hope of finding a good fit, but am still concerned that I look age appropriate. My conclusion is that I can pull it off as long as I avoid excessive distressing. The "vaguely worn look" Diane mentions looks best on me, in my mind. I feel trendy while maintaining my dignity!

Thistle

Veteran

I do not think BF jeans requier distressing. I hope not, as mine don't have any!!

I have never much cared for distressing on me, at least not to the point of holes or tears or anything like that. I guess it comes from how I grew up.

Anyway, mine were an Angie recommended item from this summer in a medium wash.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

No. BF jeans do not need to be distressed at all. I wear white BF jeans with zero distressing.

I do prefer blue denim BF jeans in lighter washes because rolled cuffs are low contrast against faded denim, which is less horizontally cutting.

Catnip

Veteran

I'm happy to see Angie's comment on distressing. I have four pairs of boyfriend jeans and none of them are distressed. I don't really like distressing, especially on older people. Isn't it enough to have a distressed face without wearing distressed clothes... just joking.

Aquamarine

Veteran

No real distressing on mine either, except for one small spot that looks worn (and my husband pointed it out, LOL). I am a bit older than you but I do not like too much distressing only because it does not really fit MY style persona. Some older women here can really rock the look, I think.

Cathy G

I love hearing what others think about this, and especially appreciate Angie chiming in. Am going shopping for bfj 's this weekend.

Sal

Veteran

I agree with the other commenters, no need to buy them distressed. I am okay wearing distressed ones but only if I have created the details or rips.

LoveSarahDub

(website)

I agree that they don't have to be distressed, although I do have a love for distressed jeans (especially if they didn't come that way originally!)

I will say that if you're small in stature and frame (like me!), then I think distressing helps with that overall 'relaxed' look that bf jeans are perfect for; sometimes without it, I feel like the jeans just look like mom jeans on me if they're not distressed.

MRL

Veteran

I don't care for the distressed look on me, either. So far I haven't found boyfriend jeans that look good on me, so have been sticking with straight leg and relaxed skinnies.

viva

Veteran

I think it's a matter of taste and personal style. My BFs have light distressing, including small holes (they are from Gap) which to me feels very much the vibe of the look. I admire those who do their own distressing but it's enough for me to find the time to cook a good dinner. As for age appropriateness, I'm 50 and feel like a fashionable 50, but not pushing the overly youthful thing. bF jeans are an inherently playful style, and I think there is more room to push the envelope.

Aziraphale

Veteran

I'm not normally a fan of heavy distressing either, but it's not because of my age (also 41) -- I've never bought heavily distressed jeans on principle. It bugged me that they would sell stuff that was already half ruined and you'd actually have to pay extra for it! My jeans sometimes get holes on their own, and if they do, I feel like I own the look.

My current boyfriends have light distressing -- the edges are sanded a little thin -- and I feel like it looks good. I wear more heavily distressed jeans sometimes, too, although they're ones that have acquired holes naturally. I don't think my age matters, but the setting I'm in does. I go to art school, so it looks totally appropriate. I can wear whatever I like, except probably office wear.

I think it's OK to be mindful of mutton-dressed-as-lamb, but there are really very few things that are completely off-limits. It all depends on how you style it.

Marley

Veteran

Just wanted to chime in here and let you know that I've posted several WIWs over the years with distressed (one of them quite distressed) BF jeans - and have always received a thumbs up from Angie! She assured me that it was fine for an over 60 woman to wear distressed items as long as the other items in the outfit provide a juxtaposition with the distressed jeans - you know, dressy or clean-lined footwear, feminine and simple lines in tops and toppers, etc.!

shiny

Veteran

I've got an allergy to too much distressing and fading, but it doesn't have anything to do with age appropriateness (I'm 48). I have the allergy for a variety of reasons:

1. When you are petite the distressing has to be in the right place, or it looks goofy. A hole or fading at the knee looks odd if it's below my knee, ya know? Likewise I appreciate the slimming effect strategic fading can provide but if it's hitting my 5'0 body in the wrong places, it just looks bizarre, not flattering.

2. When my kids were in high school, I stayed away from this because I wanted to look like mom, not mom trying to look "cool" and wear their clothes. Now that they are in college, it's different. I feel more freedom to adopt boyfriend jeans, which I have.

3. When I first met my DH in 2002, it was the height of the faded rear end trend. Everyone was wearing jeans with extreme buttock fading. My DH hated this look and often called it "baboon butt." I can't get that out of my head!

4. In the 90s acid wash jeans were all the rage. I tried them, I wore them. I look back at the photos and think I looked ridiculous. I was young then. I'm not knocking it on others - obviously I thought it was a cool look so I gave it a whirl-- it just looks ridiculous on me, at any age.

5. Similarly, I've got it on my emotional map to associate light blue denim with 7th grade. That year the trend turned away from disco bell bottom high waisted light wash jeans and suddenly only dark wash boot cuts were cool. But I hadn't grown an inch since 6th grade, and my mom refused to by me any new jeans. I was horrified, having to wear terribly untrendy jeans as I entered junior high! I wound up taking out the scissors and narrowing all my disco jeans. My mom was impressed with my efforts so she finally agreed to buy me ONE pair of dark wash GAP boot cuts. Which I then wore Every. Single. Day.

So, yeah.