Progress Report on Shopping Fast (Day 59) - YouLookFab Forum

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Progress Report on Shopping Fast (Day 59)

Anonymous

I started my purchasing fast on the same day that Janice from the Vivienne Files started hers. In fact, she was the inspiration for starting my purchasing fast in January as opposed to February (as I originally intended): http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....s-is-doing

Janice did lay out some exceptions to her purchasing fast in her blog. I agree because exceptions are a necessary part of life: http://www.theviviennefiles.co.....mment-form

But today Janice is rolling those back: http://www.theviviennefiles.com. I completely understand her logic, but I am still a bit disappointed.

It seems to me that purchasing fasts/shopping fasts are impossibly hard in our culture and I am going to explore that idea in the upcoming month. I have reasons for wanting to cut down on impulsive buys (not just clothing) and I would like to be successful. But sometimes I feel our very culture of buy, buy, buy sets me up to fail.

I did not buy the denim skirt I considered earlier this week: http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....y-wardrobe.

My purchasing fast continues. Janice reports it is day 57. I personally think it is day 59 (31 days in January plus 28 days in February).

Janice's post today made me want to continue my purchasing fast through March just to prove to myself it was doable.

ETA: Re-reading this, it seems like a bunch of caffeine-fueled ramblings.

Shopping

42 replies

Latest reply was from

Bijou

Veteran

Sterling, I agree that our culture is to buy, buy, buy - and so something like a shopping fast is very difficult. I admire you tremendously for achieving 59 days. To me a shopping fast is very much like an alcohol fast - doable in our culture, but can be difficult because even those with the best intentions can feel threatened and want to undermine that resolve. From time to time I have been on shopping fasts (to make me appreciate what I do own and also to clarify to myself that my "needs" and "wants" are two completely different things). It has never been easy for me. I really appreciate how you have continued to participate and enrich the forum.

Anonymous

Bijou -- thank you so much for this kind, kind post. It is exactly what I needed to hear. I hadn't considered the fact that friends (who I know have the best intentions and want the best for me) could feel threatened and want to undermine that resolve. I can say that whenever I go on a diet and announce it to my friends, they do actively undermine my goals with cake, biscuits, candy, cookies. I don't even know if they realize what they are doing. I have learned to keep quiet when I start a diet. It is best for all concerned.

One last thing. I gave up alcohol due to weight gain and a feeling of tiredness that just would not go away. You would never believe how many people in my life railed against that ....

Janet

(website)

Veteran

I think you've done an amazing job! I can't fault the VF blogger for changing tactics because I have also found that scaling back my shopping has led to me identifying actual wardrobe holes, rather than being distracted with pretty stuff I don't need. But no one knows our individual needs the way we ourselves do -- you keep on your path if it's working for you!

As I have said, i am not much of a "fast" or "ban" type person. I tend to rebel at absolutes. Rather, I have been focusing on "mindful" purchases, bringing my most critical eye into my buying, rather than just letting my heart take over my wallet.

After buying only four wardrobe items over January-February, I did place an order with Nordstrom that will arrive later this week, so anything I keep from it will count as "March" purchases -- these are things I think could help boost my existing spring-summer wardrobe. Specifically, short sleeve tees (my closet has a lot of sleeveless but could use a few more sleeved styles to replace some old worn-out things that have been demoted to ranch or sleepwear), and trying some shoes in updated styles but hopefully with a bit of edge, since I rely heavily on footwear to edge up my warm weather style. We'll see if any of these are successful!

Madewell Anthem Split Neck Tee

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Socialite Strap Front Tee

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Sanctuary 'City Mix' Layered Look Tee

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Zadig & Voltaire Skull Tee

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Shellys London Cupelo Metallic Heel Sandal (Women)

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Dolce Vita Maura Studded Backless Loafer (Women)

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Anonymous

Hi Janet. You are right. Scaling back on shopping does help all of us identify actual wardrobe holes, rather than being distracted with pretty stuff we don't need. I am finding this purchasing fast to be just that. I am more balanced and less impulsive in my shopping (yes, still shopping).

I did a "stock up on basics" in December, right before the start of the January purchasing fast so that might be why I am not seeing those wardrobe holes. All my basics are nice and new and fun to wear!!! And comfortable. Sometimes new elastic in bras/sports bras is so comfortable.

You are doing GREAT minimizing your shopping. Congratulations to you, my moderate friend. I think the order you placed in March is perfect for you and your lifestyle. I look forward to hearing how everything worked out for you ... especially those shoes.

I have never demoted old tee shirts to sleep wear. I may be alone in this, but I tend to buy camisoles specifically for sleeping. Old tee shirts become rags or are donated (depending on what they look like).

Joy

Veteran

Sterling, I really admire the way that you have stuck to your fast. As tomorrow is Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent, I am going directly into my Lenten shopping fast, at least for myself. There are birthdays coming up that require some shopping and DDIL thinks that she may be pregnant and will need maternity clothes that she cannot afford right now.
To make me more mindful of my own shopping, even more than a shopping, it has helped when I can limit what I buy each month, either by a spending limit or number of garments limit. I stop to think whether or not I want to spend on a certain piece and also find that I am forced to do more planning. I think this idea came from Shedev. It has also given me permission to spend more on quality as well as buy more mindfully. Just a thought as you finish your fast.

cindysmith

Veteran

We DO love in a consumerist society and it takes a lot of introspection and effort to opt out of the never-ending cycle of buy/use once/it breaks/toss. I'm proud of you for the effort you're pouring into looking at yourself and your shopping habits

Anonymous

Thank you, CindySmith. Living in a consumerist society can be exhausting. I don't even think we realize it half of the time. We just go with it blindly.

I have to say my clothing purchasing fast has made me aware of my other shopping habit as well. I started out buying more beauty products, but that didn't last long before I got bored with it. Now I am paying attention to how much I spend on mindless grocery shopping (that would be treats and snacks). I spend A LOT on treats and snacks.

And Joy. A Lenten Fast! What a good idea. I used to always give up something really hard for Lent (coffee nearly killed me). As I got older, I strove to add something instead (reading the Bible every single day during Lent or doing one nice thing for someone without their knowledge every single day or doing charity work). This year I am going to attempt to give up sugar (for health reasons) and add something. It is already Tuesday and I have not yet decided what to add. I like the doing one nice thing for someone every single day thing the best. It makes me feel good and I hope it brightens someone else's day.

Karie

(website)

Veteran

You've done an amazing job, and I'm still right there with you (same amount of days, 59). I understand Janice's need to purchase things that she might really need, although whereas she thinks six categories is just right, I think it's a little long. I've given myself a small weekly allowance so I could use it for things like that. I have no intention of breaking my purchasing fast (outside of my small allowance, and when I say small, I mean SMALL!) anytime soon. I am in need of nothing, and I really need to cub all those "want" purchases. Plus I still have that sewing room full of fabric and patterns - there's my new wardrobe! I'm getting my new clothes fix by way of making them (with fabric I already own, I'm not purchasing that either).

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Nice, Sterling. I've enjoyed reading your musings.

Anonymous

Thank you, Angie. That means a lot to me. A shout out also to all the other Forum Members that have supported me on this journey.

Congratulations on 59 days, Karie. Is it getting easier for you as well? I completely understand Janice's six categories that need replenishing. And it obvious that Janice is planning her purchases carefully and not overbuying, just replenishing. As Janet said "scaling back shopping results in identification of actual wardrobe holes, especially when we are not distracted by all the pretty stuff out there." Yet another bonus of taking a break from shopping. Suddenly we come to realize our underpinnings haven't been refreshed in years.

A small weekly allowance is a good idea. That wouldn't work for me though because I am so black and white in my thinking. It is ALL or nothing for me. It always has been. I'm glad it works for you.

I hope to see some of the things you sew this year. I'm sure they will be gorgeous. Do you have a serger?

Jenni NZ

Veteran

I think I understand your being disappointed by Janice of the VF. I just read her post. But what you're doing isn't a fast just for the sake of a fast, is it? It's to learn about yourself, and your wardrobe, and even society, which this far into it you seem to be doing. I am willing to stop my fast any time in one way, yet I find the more I go past windows in the mall, or consider buying something, the more I think about how much I already have and that I haven't yet created enough space by culling. So I am passing the "Stuff" - which I like the capital on that Approprio gave it in my thread about my reasons- by. Like everything ( the diet of the society. The alcohol use of the society...) we have to live and function in this world and how it is in 2017. Introspection can be all good!

Anonymous

Jenni!! I am finding the same thing. The more I don't buy anything, the less inclined I am to buy anything. Right now, nothing is that appealing. I see things. They seem sparkly and exciting, but when push comes to shove, I just don't feel the "need" for them. I think that is the reason I didn't buy that white denim skirt. I wanted it. I just didn't feel the need for it.

I am curious to see what one item breaks my purchasing fast. And will I return to former shopping habits or will I have learned from my purchasing fast to buy more mindfully? I am hoping it will be latter.

Emily K

(website)

Veteran

Ugh. Saboteurs! They are the worst. I've got lots of active diet saboteurs in my life and can totally relate to that. Sterling, when I read your posts I am always impressed by the high level of organization and control that you demonstrate--characteristics I esteem very much! And you seem to be realizing many benefits from the fast. Way to go! There is absolutely no downside to being more careful and thoughtful about the purchases you make (or don't make).

I just wanted to say that I am still observing the purchasing fast in my own way--my rules were a little bit different than others' because I have a tiny wardrobe and, due to continuing weight loss, I need to keep buying placeholder items in smaller sizes. So, I have been buying clothes. But also, I have been trying to focus on (and to derive more satisfaction from) adhering to good wardrobe-crafting principles than from the cycle of fashion inspiration > desire > wardrobe hole > shopping to-do list > new clothing purchase. (I definitely see how this could be a repetitive cycle for me unless I frame the goal differently!)

Anonymous

Emily K -- Congratulations on the weight loss. It sounds like your purchasing fast suits you perfectly. I'm glad you are following along and have shaped the purchasing fast to meet your specific needs. I always hope that people pick the parameters that will challenge them to learn the most. It sounds like you did just that. YAY for you.

Thank you for the complement. I have a certain type of mind that fits perfectly with my career choice (very analytical, very detail orientated). Some people say OCD like it is a flaw. I embrace it.

JAileen

Veteran

Your adherence to your fast is inspiring. I totally understand your black or white stance, too. It's like eating crackers. I'm better off not eating the first one.

Anonymous

That is it exactly, JAileen. I have always known this about myself. You would think I would use that information to my advantage and not eat that first cookie, but no, I always believe it will just be one cookie.

columbine(erin)

Veteran

I don't want to do a fast, necessarily, for a lot of the reasons Angie has brought up, but I rather need to for budget reasons. I'm set to try Stitch Fix this next month and then possibly again in 3 or 6 months. I hope having this to look forward to will help with the deprivation feelings as well as keep me on a track of fewer but better; instead of buying pretties. You're sticking to it and it's inspiring.

Anonymous

Thank you, Columbine. I think Stitch Fix is ripe with possibilities. I believe you posted about it in the past and I read those posts with great interest. I'll be very interested in hearing about your experience.

If this is of any help to you, the first month was the hardest. It really did get easier and easier. There were lots of suggestions from Forum Members to positively re-inforce the purchasing fast. Most of them involved pursuing other interests like self care, exercise, hobbies, healthy ties to family and community. Distraction seemed to be key. After a while, it becomes self perpetuating. You might consider reading some of the January posts for Forum suggestions. I found them quite helpful.

To distract myself, I spent January getting my personal finances in order and interviewing potential financial managers. I took a break from that and began a bathroom renovation in February. The actual bathroom work is done, but now I am trying to clean all that nasty dust from every single surface in the house. In March, I return to the financial planner thing and start planning a vacation in May. So my money is spoken for in so many different ways.

columbine(erin)

Veteran

Thank you, Sterling, I'll go back and check out those posts. I find it really hard to go a whole month without purchasing clothes, lately, but as you say, the money is already spoken for in quite a few ways.

Anonymous

I'm experiencing what both you and Jenn described - that feeling of wanting less as time goes by , and of having nothing seem terribly appealing. I was thinking a lot about this today (I was in the car a lot - haha), and reminded myself that these "fasting" plans work only if you have a real, meaningful reason to fast. If the only reason is "because I think I should" , then I'm not sure one can feel a commitment to that and stick to it. I'm on one because I have to be: my financial situation and plans have changed, and spending just for the hell of it is not an option anymore....wardrobe hole identified or not. I have some money to spend on clothes, but only for things that I truly need. I'm actually pumped for the challenge of wearing just what I have this summer, and feeling that I'm getting my money's worth out of my clothes, instead of giving half of them away barely worn. Yes, I may not feel my best all of the time wearing stuff I don't love , but - that's a luxury I'm forgoing until I decide what to do with my wardrobe.

Anonymous

LisaP -- Your post was really thought provoking. I agree with you. You have to have a real, meaningful reason to take on a fast and then preserve. I can't tell you the number of times I have forsaken sugar for all time .... only to last three hours. The reason I fail is that I forget my reason shortly after I make my commitment. Or I am not committed to my reason and only think "I should." Since Lent starts tomorrow and since I am committed to giving up sugar, I'll try to be mindful of your comment.

From what I remember of your WIWs, you have a gorgeous wardrobe. Your challenge of wearing just what you have this summer could be a lot of fun. I really am wearing my clothes and coming up with new and interesting ways to wear them to keep me interested. I am even wearing some of my jewelry that I long ago put in the safe deposit box. THAT was a pleasant surprise. I am not only wearing it again; I love it again.

You say you are not to forego buying until you decide what to do with your wardrobe. I'm doing that too on some level. I am noticing what I reach for over and over again. Are you someone that can wear the same outfit and/or silhouette repeatedly? It helps that I seem to need less variety than others on the Forum. I am very comfortable on repeat. During the past two months, I wore the same two pair of jeans and same two pair of ponte pants over and over again.

Anyway I am paying attention to how I feel when I wear my outfits (confident? professional?). I am also paying attention to what I am not wearing. Those pieces might tell an even more important story when all is said and done. I hope to learn a lot from this little experiment.

Finally, culling my closet has been really easy. No thought is needed to decide to cull something if you don't wear it when all you have to choose from is what is in your closet. You may be pleasantly surprised this summer. You have my best wishes.

Anonymous

Hooray, Sterling!

It's clear this break from shopping and spending is something you are learning from and - dare I say it? - I think you are truly enjoying it! What could be better?

It sound like your motives for the hiatus have not exactly "changed", but maybe a better term would be "grown" - so that it is no longer primarily about your wardrobe per se, but really about all the big things being discussed so eloquently here by bijou, cindysmith, Jenni and others - consumerism, control, mindfulness.

It is surprising to me how resistant many people are to the idea of "giving up" something, even temporarily. As if somehow the fact that you've made a decision to do that implies that they should do the same - which, of course, is absurd. But, like you, I've especially encountered that resistance with respect to taking a break from consuming alcohol - or just not feeling like having it one night. Honestly, except with a few selected friends, I often make up a stupid excuse like I'm taking some medication, just to avoid the issue. Or unobtrusively switch glasses with my husband partway through dinner, so that he can finish my untouched wine.

But, I digress. Congrats on being one day away from having met your original goal. And more congrats on having gained so much from it. Will be cheering you on if you decide to go a while longer - and celebrating your accomplishment with you if you decide not to!

MsMaven

Veteran

I find it useful and interesting to read how others are doing. I committed myself to a February Fast, although I tried not to buy much in January--just some slippers and some underwear. I bought nothing in February--the month in which I am lured into buying early spring clothes that don't always work out later.

Yesterday I went through some catalogs and online items that I had bookmarked, ready to go ahead and order. First of all I went and looked in my closet, my out of season closet and my stored summer clothes in drawers. I had clothes I had forgotten about in all three places. My biggest items were three jackets, all on sale, but I found some forgotten pieces. I ended up not ordering anything.

I also took a closer look at what I bought last year and decided which items I was unhappy about. I realize I have too many clothes. I make buying plans for needed items, but I am a sucker for sales and for that unexpected item in a pretty color. I have nice EF jackets that I've hardly worn this winter because I have too many other jackets to choose from.

I've also been very busy with other things, which helps. I haven't been to a mall once this year.

I'm not as methodical as you, Sterling, and others who are also analyzing their buying habits, but you have inspired me to think about this and to take a hard look at what I have before I buy that lovely sale item. So thank you for sharing your progress and your discoveries.

shedev

Veteran

I had two reasons for beginning the fast. The first was that I was just burnt out on shopping. The second was that I needed to use the money (and then some) for some bills. The fast was made much easier for me because current trends are the opposite of things I want to wear.
It is a good time for me to take some of the items that exist only in my head and create them for my closet. I plan to sew most of my own clothes for the summer 5. I'm going to repurpose some of what I own and use my sewing stash, but will also buy some materials.
So far, I've purged 5 things due to wear. I have more that will go soon. The main hole that I have is for black summer sandals. I made the ones I have work for last year. My wardrobe is really mixable, so I usually have a few options and very few holes.

shedev

Veteran

I had two reasons for beginning the fast. The first was that I was just burnt out on shopping. The second was that I needed to use the money (and then some) for some bills. The fast was made much easier for me because current trends are the opposite of things I want to wear.
It is a good time for me to take some of the items that exist only in my head and create them for my closet. I plan to sew most of my own clothes for the summer 5. I'm going to repurpose some of what I own and use my sewing stash, but will also buy some materials.
So far, I've purged 5 things due to wear. I have more that will go soon. The main hole that I have is for black summer sandals. I made the ones I have work for last year. My wardrobe is really mixable, so I usually have a few options and very few holes.

Anonymous

Hi Ryce -- so glad you could post today. I was the only one in my group of college friends that did not drink. I did not like the taste at all (past tense). It made my friends terribly uncomfortable and they would not let up until I drank with them. They told me I was "too uptight and needed to learn to relax." I thought they might be right and learned to drink with them.

I think you are right. When people decide to make life changes (even very small ones), their friends and families sometimes make it about themselves. Whether consciously or subconsciously, those same friends and family member can resort to sabotaging the effort.

Systems are delicate. Even slight changes reverberate through the entire system. The system often pushes back to maintain status quo. Yet how do we grow if we do not test our boundaries.

But enough about me. How are you doing????

Anonymous

Thank you, Ms. Maven. Congratulations on buying nothing in February and only a few needed items in January. Yay for you.

I am a sucker for sales as well. I can't exactly explain what goes on in my brain when I see the word sale, but I always have to look. You did great by deciding against ordering the items you bookmarked. That must feel like a huge step. If you and I learn nothing else other than mindful shopping we will both be so far ahead of the game!!!

What are your plans for the items you are not happy with? Can you make the work? Do you want to make them work? Or just learn an important lesson about what you like and what you don't like?

Anonymous

WOW Shedev. If you sew your Summer 5 this year, I will bow down to your expertise. I so look forward to hearing about it and seeing the final product.

It is nice not having any real wardrobe holes, isn't it? Most of us aspire to that goal.

As for fashion aiding your purchasing fast by not featuring anything you really want, sometimes the stars align to help us out. I take all the help from the Universe I can.

Karie

(website)

Veteran

Yes, it is getting easier as time goes on. In addition to identifying wardrobe holes, it identifies wardrobe excesses and imbalances. I have many items that I love, but only wear a few times per season. I work in a 100+ year old school building that is always a bazillion degrees too hot, even in the dead of winter. I don't need heavy winter sweaters, I need lightweight items that I can layer. I'm really beginning to see what areas are out of balance in my closet.

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