Proposed Funeral Outfit - YouLookFab Forum

Hi Ladies,

Your support has been so appreciated this week.. thank you.

I am just deciding what to wear tomorrow and I find I am steering away from a jacket/blazer based combination which would be my usual, however my SIL's friends are all probably best described as a RATE (not necessarily as in our style definition) so we are not really expecting men in suits etc. So what I am saying is I think it's going to be a relatively casual affair. My husband's family are also very casual. However DH is wearing a suit.

So do you think this outfit would be suitable.

oversized square sweater top #1
ponte knit knee length pencil skirt #2
Silver necklace (would sit against the neckline of the black sweater, I wear it lower than a choker) #3
wedge heel booties (maybe black hose)
topped with either my black satin trench with white tipping #5 or
my slighty mod inspired coat in #4

ETA : would carry my black and silver clutch? #6

Im not trying to talk myself up but I am always 'overdressed' at family events, and I think the coat will add the necessary structure. It is cold and raining here at the moment and tomorrow is expected to be the same.

The alternative is to wear a black pant suit. Slim (not skinny) leg trousers with a blouse and Im leaning towards my black boyfriend jacket if I go that way.

We are hosting the lunch at the church after the service, so I will need to be comfortable and feel free to move about, and I need happy feet.

Appreciate your thoughts.

Thanks in anticipation.
xxx Deborah

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12 years ago

Parsley

Veteran

I think your proposed outfit would be completely appropriate.
Either coat looks fine to me. You may very well be overdressed compared to others, but so be it. You can't control them, but you can dress appropriately for the occasion yourself.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending thoughts and prayers to you and your family in this difficult time.

Suz

(website)

Your outfit would be completely appropriate, Deborah. And since it may be a difficult occasion for all kinds of reasons, it's important for you to feel extra comfortable.

That is such a beautiful necklace, by the way.

Deborah

Parsley & Suz,thanks for your speedy reponses:) Thankfully my wardrobe is in good shape so its just a matter of making a choice. I am hemming my new black trousers 'just in case' but the comfort of the skirt outfit is calling out to me:) Unfortunately my both my funeral appropriate black dresses are feeling a tad to tight at the moment, otherwise one of those would have been the simple choice...need to exercise lol

annaj

I love either option. I think the square sweater will be easier (more comfortable) to wear than a shirt/blazer combination, so I'd lean towards that. The sweater also "casualises" the outfit a little, without being unstylish (it's a gorgeous sweater!). Once again I am sorry for your loss. I wish I lived a little closer and I'd feel like I could help you through this difficult time.

Anna, thank you! I think we have to work towards a Aussie meet up in the not to distant future.

Caro in Oz

The knit & skirt sound perfect - more casual than a jacket but still very stylish. Either coat would work but I like the mod one.

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow - big hugs.

Beth Ann

Your outfit sounds lovely, practical and appropriate. Praying that the day is full of healthy remembrance and sharing.

Lyn D.

Your outfit choices look and sound very suitable Deborah.
If you are concerned about being over-dressed I guess the pants would be an option, but it is better to be comfortable with so much on your plate!
Sending my good wishes and thoughts too.

CocoLion

I think your outfit sounds perfect. If you want to tone it down a notch, you can wear the slim trousers as shown in #1. I prefer the coat with the white tipping, it has a less formal feel that makes sense for your gathering. Since DH is wearing a suit, I like that you will be dressed to his level but not in an LBD which can appear more formal than a skirt outfit.

Scarlet

I think this sounds perfect. I am so sorry for your loss.

Hil

I think that the outfit is very appropriate - wishing you strength for the day! x

Thanks Ladies. I may not be communicating well today:) What I meant to say is that a "suited" look probably isn't necessary in this instance. For funerals I tend to wear a more tailored, corporate look. Im not specifically going for 'casual' as I still want to look dressed up. But even the skirt/oversized sweater combo will be dressy for this particular crowd:)

Pants might be a good option with the oversized sweater Denise, thank you. Particularly if it's cold.

carolbee

Deborah, any of these options will be fine. Go with what will feel most comfortable. I'm sure you are being a great support for your DH and MIL.

Lantana

Deborah, my sincere condolences on losing your sister in law.
It's a fraught time for a family and I think planning an outfit is a good idea.
You might find your mood calls for something different when tomorrow dawns; happily, you have a flexible wardrobe that will give you the outfit you need for the day.

Lantana, such wisdom. There is a chance I will get up in the morning and just "see" exactly what I want to wear:). I have hemmed my new black pants so they are ready (it's going to be cold) and my skirt is ready so I will decide in the morning.

Is it going to be wet, too? We are expecting bucket loads of rain. It's coming from the north and the west.

sarah

Deborah, I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family. What you've chosen seems very appropriate.

*hugs*

Anonymous

I never worry too much about funerals, because I think as long I am wearing something modest and dark, I am ok. People like you and me will never be in a shortage of black The only thing I don't do anymore is to wear a favorite piece. I seem to be one of those people, who "charge" items of clothing with emotions or recollections of sad events. I still can't seem to be able to wear this amazing Kate Spade pumps I wore to my father in law's funeral. They make me too sad.
I think either choice looks like the ticket. I am sorry to hear about your loss.

Any is the outfits you are thinking of sound appropriate. Your family has probably come to expect to see you dressed up and your husband will be in a suit. The top with pants as shown in #1 looks like a good choice if it is cold. Wear the warmer coat.

Ingunn

Deborah, you have it all sorted out, and whatever you decide in the end will be appropriate, I'm sure. Both coats are very good choices, and the topper will go with both pants and the skirt. The necklace is very pretty but not will not add too much brightness for the occasion. Best of luck with your obligations tomorrow. Undoubtedly, you provide invaluable support for your family, especially for your DH. You will be in my thoughts.

Angie

Fashion Stylist

Whatever you wear, you'll look fab and be a pillar of strength to your family. Much love. xox

bj1111

either option is fine.

thinking of you and your BIL. losing family is always hard, no matter how expected.

Inge

Moderator

All the options are very stylish and completely appropriate. I agree that making the final decision tomorrow morning is a good idea.

I am so sorry for your loss, Deborah, and will be thinking of you and your family. Wishing you lots of strength.

T-Rex

I like the white tipping on the second coat.

Also, it is completely appropriate to wear something that the deceased liked on you. So if you have a piece of jewelry or a scarf or something like that that your sister-in-law complimented you on, you may want to see if you can work it into your outfit.

Jenava

I think this outfit would be perfect. I like the mod coat and the clutch very much as well. Thinking of you and your husband and wishing you strength and comfort.

Transcona Shannon

Your choices are lovely and appropriate Deb and you will look beautiful. Sending you and your family all sorts of strength to get through a difficult day. My heart will be with yours

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