I'm with mile high style. Rules? Meh.

I mean, I do wonder about MDAL dressing, but less often as I get older because I am more comfortable with who I am. I dress to the situation and also according to how I feel, not my chronological age.

I wear tight tops that show cleavage, and short shorts and skirts, and the occasional body con dress. But it's all in context.

I can't say I worry about it, but it concerns me. I have dressed in a way that ended up making me feel age-inappropriate and the experience was what made me start paying attention. It was the second time in a short period that I got asked out by a high school boy. Um whoa! Jail bait!

Also, I've got the oriental genes. I mean *like* my cousin has been 12 for the last 25 years. It can be a problem. You show up for a job interview and people ask if you're the intern or which department your mom works in.

Anyways, for me the trick lies not in "what" but "how." You know, no cute and sweet; there has to be something adult. One thing I do now is, I always wear socks (well, not with sandals of course). I'm also starting to avoid really flat flat shoes with skirts (but not dresses). I'm talking about ballet flats that you can feel the ground through. Grown ups don't want to feel the sidewalk through their shoes. Definitely no blisters.

Haha! And yet I'm serious

This is evidently a very hot topic as so many folks have taken the time to comment.
I do think about if an outfit is age appropriate but don't worry about it like I used to. I was in my 40's when I realized I needed to quit buying the majority of my clothes in the teen departments. I went through a grieving process when I realized I could no longer do clothing that I used to. I liked somewhat of a vamp look. I want to say that everyone feels different about what is appropriate but I feel "my" Old skin and hanging arms need to be covered up. I still like to do the vamp look; but very understated - maybe a shoulder showing. Two people that are the same age can age physically at different times so what is appropriate for one may not be for the other person. Many of the posts used the word "modern" quite a bit. I agree. I don't want to look an age I am not. I want to be the best me possible. I want to look current, fresh, engaged and approachable. I am 59 and get many compliments from the youth I work with at church. Naturally, I love all compliments but these are especially nice.
Vickie

I worry about this a lot. I am 33, but look younger - not sure how much younger, but definitely younger; I have the "oriental genes" rachy alludes to for sure. (My mom was always being mistaken for my older sister when I was growing up, and my 90-year old grandma has better skin than most women half her age.) To that end, I've always worn specs, since they make me look older and more serious. I also feel more comfortable with shorter hair because it reads as more sophisticated to me.

To top that off, I work in a field (academic lab research) where the lines between different levels of authority/experience are not at all clearly delineated, nor can you always even guess based on someone's age how senior they are. The dress code is casual, and anything goes, although there are some inherent biases in the academic community (some people think that anything too conservative or businessy says "industry sell-out', others think that too fashiony or trendy says "not serious about science", etc). I like the sartorial freedom, of course, but it makes dressing in an age- and position-appropriate manner confusing and difficult. When they say "dress for the job you want, not the one you have," it's difficult to know what that means when you have professors running around in ratty jeans and tee shirts, and administrators in business casual...

Anyway, one of the reasons I came here was to figure out how to make my look more grown up and sophisticated. I am aware that my particular brand of arty style can easily skew too young or twee, and I definitely think that being here has helped immensely with getting a more sophisticated look. My favorite trick to look more grown-up is jackets! I acquired almost all of them since joining YLF, and they instantly add a dose of sophistication and professionalism to an outfit without being overly businessy or conservative.

Most of the time I feel I've made peace with this issue, and enjoy my clothes again, thanks to YLF. I basically dress for myself, but will explain to others what I'm going for if they seem interested.

BUT, and it's really annoying me lately, the models in all the fall ads look younger than ever. I'll see a photo of something I like, but then pretty quickly reject it since it must be aimed at 18-20 year olds. I'm not sure how to get over that hurdle.

You do start the most interesting threads, Adelfa! I've been thinking about this topic all morning and have had fun reading the responses, so I decided to chime in with my $.02.

I think Caro and Lantana are spot on when they say that being told how to dress just doesn't go over very well with the senior crowd. At 64, I don't take kindly to someone younger setting "rules" for how I ought to behave or telling me what is "off limits".

As many of the previous commenters have mentioned, age-appropriate dressing is probably more about situational dressing than about age itself. I'm totally in favour of the 60+ crowd wearing bikinis on the beach if that is what a person wants to do, but I prefer a bit more coverage on all ages when walking around in the shops. The same goes for going to a nightclub; if, in your sixties, you have the stamina, then why not wear your sequins and miniskirt--and, if the sight of you offends the younger generation, that's their problem!

On a bit more serious note, I don't like it much when I detect the whiff of desperation that seems to accompany a mother who wants to dress like her daughter. It's not the outfit that bothers me as much as the fear of growing old that the look seems to give off. I think, as older women, we ought to wear clothes that add to our sense of vitality and fun. Instead of tweaking our outfits to look like our daughters, why not tweak to show our strength, self-assurance, and happiness at being blessed with these added years.

The older I get, the more I want to dress the age I feel--not the age I actually am. No, I don't want to dress like my college-aged DDs, but I certainly don't feel compelled to dress like I'm in my 50s. No one ever guesses I'm 52. If they don't know my childrens' ages, they always guess I'm in my 30s.

My SIL is several years younger than I, but looks older because of the way she dresses. It's really sad. She could look so nice if she ditched the mom pants and other wardrobe items that give her wardrobe the dreaded frump factor. Someone else in the family already said something to her about it, and her answer was that she feels she should dress her age. Dressing that way isn't working for her, bless her heart.

This is on my mind a lot as I am 55 and love trendy fashion. Add to that, I have no children who would be natural suppressants to trendiness, and third, my body from the neck down has aged slower than from the neck up. I have had the very uncomfortable feeling of having a young man check me out from the back or from a distance, then see my face and turn away in shock. My face reflects my age; I look like I'm in my 50s and I do not have the means to fix my face so it better matches my body.

I think since my WIWs are posted from a distance this disparity may not be as apparent as I feel it really is.

I want to wear trendy stylish clothes but I do not want to try and look younger, I want to look "good for my age." So it is a balancing act and I feel I get lots of help and support from YLF.

One thing I have read and heard, repeatedly, is that distressing is for the young. I have a copy of More magazine that says the one "NO" for dressing in your 50s is distressed denim (March 2013). Yet I wear distressed denim, because it fits my rugged environment. And I do love my shredded Jimmy Page tee shirt but it is a fun, at home kind of garment, I don't think I'd wear it when I go to San Francisco and have lunch even at a casual restaurant.

So -- besides age there is the very important aspect of environment and finally physique. All three are important factors when deciding on what to wear.

The time I did feel uncomfortable was last year when I was fixated on finding a pair of neon, highlighter yellow skinny jeans. Here's a thread about it. I tried so many different pairs, then finally realized, this was too young for me. I landed on feeling very happy with one neon belt and a partially neon tote bag.

ETA -- and thank you Adelfa for the shout-out! You are so kind to compliment me.

For about 17 years (from in my mid twenties!) I was quite sure that it was inappropriate for me to show my arms, wear skirts above the knee, and so on -- all the "age appropriate" rules.

Then, when I was choosing my wedding dress in early 2007, and trying to find one with sleeves to be age appropriate, a single experience completely changed my thinking about these stupid rules. The young sales assistant and my younger sister persuaded me to try on a beautiful sleeveless wedding dress with a neckline that hit diagonally at the very edge of my shoulders -- sort of off the shoulders but not hanging down next to the shoulders. It was exquisite, but what about the lack of sleeves on a woman my age (43 at that time), I asked. Both my beautiful, stylish, ex-model sister and the young and beautiful sales assistant looked genuinely puzzled, and both of them insisted that I actually look at my arms, and that there was absolutely no reason to hide my arms.

When I looked at them from all angles with the multiple mirrors they had there, I realised that all that time I had been thinking I had to cover my arms to be age appropriate, it was completely mad. I had been severely limiting myself for nothing.

So now, I try to question any age-appropriateness-related rule I find myself thinking I should be sticking to. So many of the rules are actually completely arbitrary and not about covering ageing skin (which I would do if wearing a veil were in fashion but otherwise it's a bit tricky! It's my face where my age shows, as CocoLion said, though I certainly don't see it in her case!).

I would feel silly in some teenage fashion, but I do now occasionally buy something from the children's department (though it's as likely to be the boys' section as the girls') and my own children (early 20s girls) are, if anything, proud of me, and positively encourage me to wear shorts etc.

Moreover, I have seen catty comments ("mutton dressed as lamb") from people in their 20s and 30s on an internet forum about a woman in her 40s whose style seems perfectly fine to me (and not remotely MDAL), so if that stylish woman can't avoid the MDAL slapdown, well, I conclude that to avoid the MDAL accusation one would need to dress in a depressingly dull, great-granny-of-100-years-ago-like manner, and that wouldn't be me, so I'd then be falling foul of the "be yourself"/"be authentic"/"your dress should be congruent with your personality" rule. How about forgetting the silly rules and instead each person dress in ways that he or she enjoys and we all stop disapproving of others' style choices?

Sarah

Hear hear Sarah!

Yay, Sarah! Fab post!!

And Denise, you are beautiful. Full stop.

I generally don't worry about age-appropriate, as I have never tended toward too short, too bare, too revealing or too tight. I don't think my clothing is generally at issue.

But I like to wear stompy shoes, and I always have. So I am not picking my kids up from school wearing stilettos, but I have recently started to wonder if my combat-like boots are an issue or if my Balenciaga-like cutout buckle boots are "too young". Then I see beautiful and completely appropriate women here wearing Docs and I think I am okay.

It just throws me for a loop knowing that even when we aren't wearing things that are "too" anything, we might still be perceived as "too young" or "trying too hard" while wearing completely flat (or maybe lug-soled) shoes!

When we think about all the "rules" we've all seen for women over 40, though, they rule out EVERYTHING. No short skirts, no heels too high, nothing trendy, nothing too old fashioned, nothing too snug. And how about the rule that if you wore a trend the first time you cannot wear it again? Um... after a certain age that would leave women wearing nothing but burlap bags! "Skinny jeans" with zippers at the ankle were trendy when I was in college, and I remember when flares/bootcuts came back into style a few years later (I wore straight legs throughout childhood), so does that mean I can't wear jeans at all?

The rules do get stupid.