Progress Report on Shopping Fast (Day 43) - YouLookFab Forum

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Progress Report on Shopping Fast (Day 43)

Anonymous

Let me start by saying I did buy some items from Banana Republic by accident. They arrived on Friday of this week. I will be returning them today when the stores open.

Although I very much doubt the shopping fast has anything to do with my mood, I have been struggling very hard to keep my mood up these past few weeks. I may have undiagnosed seasonal depression or something similar.

I can usually keep it at bay by exercising and staying really busy. Shopping was one way I stayed busy. I considered the shopping "productive." By that I mean I shopped with a purpose.

But by not shopping these few weeks, I have taken one activity off the table. Other activities have fallen by the wayside as well. I am having bathroom work done and it will be messy so I have stopped cleaning altogether. It is my intent to do a really deep cleaning once the work is done. Still cleaning was one more activity that kept my life in order and me busy.

So my purchasing fast is continuing at least through the end of this month. Perhaps this little depression is actually helping me succeed because I have so little interest in clothing/shopping right now. I wouldn't classify this as a "YAY" though.

Shopping

24 replies

Latest reply was from Joy

cindysmith

Veteran

Hope your spirits lift soon!

Anonymous

Thank you, Cynthia, I am sure it will.

Karie

(website)

Veteran

First and foremost, I am sorry to hear about your seasonal depression. I understand how that can happen, especially if you live in an area like I do where we've been having endlessly gloomy and snowy winter days.

So take care of you first. How about a hobby to help with the seasonal depression? Are there any crafts you like to do or would like to learn? Exercise is great, and I'm glad to hear you are doing that. Have you tried "Daily Burn?" They have a daily program "Daily Burn 365" and the community support group is wonderful.

I've been giving myself a small weekly allowance and when I'm ready to / I need to / I just plain want to purchase something, I'll use that. Telling myself "you can't" will eventually lead to my failure, and then feeling guilty about it, being depressed about it, and that's not good.

I have been giving myself that small allowance and I am making it work. I finally used it to purchase something last week (fabric to make a shirt). Now it's 43 days staying within my allowance!

Anonymous

Hi Karie. Your suggestions are wonderful. Just reading your thoughtful post helped my mood. I think I will likely shake this off in short order.

The allowance is a great idea. I hadn't considered that. I have been using the money saved from not buying clothing to investing in IRAs and getting some house maintenance done. I am hoping when I break the fast I won't feel guilt. This fast was never meant to last beyond Spring. It was a way to reset some of my shopping behaviors and I think I have accomplished that. I'll be at the mall this afternoon to return that Banana Republic purchase. I know I'll stop by Starbucks, but I doubt I will bother doing much more beyond window shopping.

Here is an article I found from another woman that implemented a year-long shopping fast. A year is much too long for my needs, but I found her article interesting none the less. I liked how she described admiring fashion like you would pieces in an art museum. You admire them as art, but you don't bring them home with you.

http://eleanorsnare.com/whats-.....or-a-year/

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Karie

(website)

Veteran

What a great idea to use the money to invest in IRAs and to get some work on the house done! I love that. And thank you for the link to the article.

approprio

(website)

Veteran

So sorry you're in the February pits. Know that you're not alone, and look after yourself.

Nodding along with the clippings from the article. This is pretty much how I feel about fashion, and it reflects my shopping habits quite accurately, as I mentioned in the other thread.

The main difference is that this has never actually stopped me shopping, or really helped me define a core aesthetic.

Runcarla

Veteran

Well, I fell off the wagon, but it was a controlled fall! I used the opportunity of two overnights in the Big City to shop. I must have tried on a dozen striped tops - but not one came home with me. Instead, I had a bra fitting and bought 2 Chanterelle bras, a blush cotton sweater from H&M and a pair of slip on sneakers (Michael Kors).

During the shopping pause I did a style evaluation ( posted Saturday) so now have a plan/ list going forward.

Funny thing is, the new bras make all my old clothes look so good, I'm enjoying them all over again!

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JAileen

Veteran

Here in the desert we normally have over 250 days of sunshine. But since the New Year it's done nothing but snow, rain and flood. I can't remember whole weeks before when it wasn't sunny. My suggestion for SAD: Take up knitting! I've been knitting for eons, but I'm teaching some friends who are using it as kind of a meditative activity. Anyway, I've started a small group and we meet at my house and they've been learning to knit. One of them already knows how to knit, I should say. The company of my friends is an added benefit. We talk about all the big topics, as you'd expect: our kids, our husbands, our dogs. Okay, mostly our dogs.

dakotacheryl

Veteran

Sterling, it sounds like you're doing wonderfully in money management and thoughtful shopping.
I have not purposefully put myself on a shopping restriction, but I have been much more thoughtful before buying clothes for many months now. Whereas, in the past, I might have thought, oooh a pretty blue top...now I look at a garment and ask if I NEED another blue top...usually the answer is NO.
So far this year I have just bought a pair of black sandals to replace a much worn and loved work pair (same shoe as a taupe pair I bought last spring and loved)...and a pair of white EF crop pants that I need for my warm weather work clothes. I passed these by at retail last summer as the price was too high, and just found them on eBay!! A couple pairs of wool socks (needed desperately), and some tights.
I really think I'm in pretty good shape for spring/summer other that a few short sleeve casual/home wear knit tops as these always start looking worn by the end of each summer season.

Cobb Hill Rockport Cobb Hill Women's Gabby-CH Heeled Sandal

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Anonymous

I'm hoping it will help me find my core aesthetic, Approprio.

New bras DO make clothes look so much better on the body, RunCarla. I HATE bra shopping, but I love having new bras. Chanterelle is such a nice brand too. So pretty.

And I think a pair of slip on sneakers would be perfect for my life style. I have been looking at them with interest these days.

JAileen -- what a wonderful suggestion!!! I am seriously thinking about taking up sewing. There was a time in my life when I adored the creativity associated with sewing. Then my machine broke down and I never replaced it. I love looking at knitted items. There is a yarn store and they always show hand made items in their windows. Gorgeous beyond all words.

Hi DakotaCheryl: Thank you for the positive reinforcement regarding money management. I spent January interviewing potential financial planners. I selected the one I want to work with and I will meet with her later this month. I am not exactly certain what to expect from our next meeting, but it will be a learning experience for me.

Are the white EF crop pants opaque? So much the her line is too sheer for me to be useful.

I only recently discovered Ebay. So many of my friends shop Ebay successfully, it just took me longer to consider it as a potential buying option. I just met two women at work that shop their wardrobes exclusively second hand. And they dress gorgeously. They were so excited to share the secret of their success with me. They actually overwhelmed with information, but they were so excited about sharing their treasures with me.

Bonnie

Veteran

My purchasing fast experience has been quite different. I wanted to do it for two months, but only did 3+ weeks when I decided to upgrade my hiking and lounge/sleep wear capsules - I just couldn't resist the great end of January sales. I did spend less than the monthly budgeted amount I had planned for this year so I'm considering that a small achievement. February is a different story. I have not bought anything for my "out and about" capsule for the last six weeks, but I did have a birthday last week. DH, the enabler, bought me a tunic, dress, and two pairs of shoes. I'm not sure what to do about this development - I helped him pick them out. He likes to give me things but if I let him, I wind up with a lot of orphans (interesting, expensive, often beautiful orphans). I'd like to continue the purchasing fast until March 1, but am I so compromised that I should just give up. One thing has helped me was learning something new, I am a beginning bridge player (3 weeks) learning with a small group who have played in the past, so I'm treading water and spending time thinking about and practicing at home.

I really admire what you have accomplished and am sorry that you are feeling bad. Maybe this is the wrong season for your fast? It might be easier when the weather is good and you are enjoying outdoor activities. JAileen's suggestion of knitting is good, exercise is wonderful, and bridge is helping me.

Anonymous

Bonnie -- You ARE NOT compromised in the least (in my opinion). I believe every day is a new day to do something good. You needed to upgrade your hiking and lounge/sleep wear capsules AND you found the items you needed on sale so that is a win-win. AND there are a number of women on this forum that believe sports wear is a health-related expense (not a clothing expense). I can go either way.

I think it is sweet that your DH bought you clothing for your birthday. I love getting clothing (and I have to help my BF with the purchases as well or I too would have lots and lots of really nice orphans). He does his best, but he does need help.

About the mood, I think I have may have done this to myself. I took on too many personal projects in January. By February, I was just mentally and emotionally exhausted. Then I had several 10 hours days of traveling for work. I just got a little more run down each day. I am sure after a weekend of rest, I will feel a lot better soon.

dakotacheryl

Veteran

Hello again Sterling, the EF pants are opaque. The fabric is the viscose crepe that she uses so much.
I buy EF items on eBay that are New, and it helps to be familiar with the different fits in EF items. I am successful with Mediums in sweaters, dresses and coats and Large in knit T's etc to fit over my bust.
I did buy a pair of EF Merino Wool knit full length pants in a large and they were HUGE on me. Tossed them in the washer and dryer on Hot and ended up with a perfect fitting pair of crop pants (nice and thick knit) that I love!!
If I find an item where I'm not sure about the fit, I make sure the seller accepts returns.

Anonymous

I did return the Banana Republic slacks this afternoon. The slacks were surprisingly nice quality and if the circumstances had been different, I might have kept them.

It is 80 degrees here!! The temperature in the stores had not been adjusted to account for the overnight change in temperature. Had the stores not been so warm, I might have been tempted to peruse the new stock. After not having been to the mall in January/February, everything looked clean and FRESH. I was saved from shopping because it was uncomfortably warm.

shedev

Veteran

I'm still hanging in with the fast. I've been looking at clothing a lot less, but looking at makeup a lot more. I'm planning to start whole 30 in March and have seen saving recipes on pinterest.

UmmLila (Lisa)

Veteran

I'm never good at following any sort of restriction I set for myself -- the restriction itself makes me rebel and cheat. So I'm very impressed at the length of your shopping fast. I might suggest that you do something like use your non shopping time to plan a treat for yourself, and not just a beneficial IRA. What about planning a spa weekend, a vacation, or setting some reading goals?

Anonymous

Shedev --I would be very interested in hearing about your whole 30 challenge.

Thank you, UmmLila -- I know there will be some reward at the end of this purchasing fast. I just haven't thought that far ahead yet.

Lisa

Veteran

43 days of no shopping is really good and something you should pat yourself on the back for. I inadvertently went 30 days and now I'm promptly back on the shopping bandwagon as I prep my wardrobe for spring. It is possible the work getting done on your home, and the disarray that goes with it, would affect your mood. I always feel best when my home has received a deep cleaning and is neat and orderly.

Anonymous

Hi Lisa. I'm going to be buying again as soon as I figure out my Spring/Summer wardrobe plan.

I think you are right about the house. Every year, I have some major project that I start at the beginning of each year. Those projects usually result in mess and me feeling unbalanced and out of control. Depending on the contractors schedule, it should be done the end of this month and then I will start a deep, deep cleaning (one room at a time).

texstyle

(website)

Veteran

Sterling, sounds like you are doing really well with your fast - sorry you have been feeling a bit down. I seem to always have a bit of a late Dec- Feb slump myself. This year the weather has been mostly good though which helps me to be able to get out and take a nice hike or something. Nature cures. Be sure you're getting your B-vitamins and plenty of iron (says the person who never seems to get enough of either).

I don't need much for spring weather (it's already here) but summer heat is coming fast and I sure wouldn't mind a couple of new outfits for those super hot times. I don't think I can embrace the maximal trend as it's just not my style (my hair is maximal enough) but maybe one or two brighter than usual summer tops would be a good addition for me. And I always need a new pair of comfortable sandals that still look good enough to go out in at night.

Joy

Veteran

You have done so well with 43 days of no shopping! That is huge.
I had left myself a loophole for a handful of long-time HEWIs if I found them and that is what happened last week. I needed to shop for a child's birthday gift and wandered over to sale racks. I will have to post K/R to decide if I should keep my HEWI of a long sleeved top that would extend the seasons of wearing my EF bone pieces which have been limited to warm weather wear. Such a piece was on my list. This one is what I think I want but may be too big. It also allows the pieces to look a bit more casual, a good thing.
My other HEWI has been light grey footwear, especially booties. I found a lovely pair of perforated light grey suede booties while scouring the racks for my HEWI of tomato red summer flats. These booties need to be worn around the house but seem very comfortable and may work for 3 seasons, but they are Aquatilias and pricey even on sale so they need to be perfect.
I am sorry for your low mood. It helps me to be able to shop for something else. In the past it has been for a Christmas store for the needy. My church here hand out bags to fill and bring back for some helpful organization almost weekly. This week it is warm gloves, hats, scarves, socks, backpacks and sleeping bags for the homeless. Many of these things are on sale now so it has been fun to shop to fill the bag.

Jenn

(website)

Veteran

I've really been enjoying your shopping fast reports, Sterling. I was struck by the quote above about not seeing fashion as "a way to practice ownership." I've been thinking about this a lot recently in every aspect of my life.

Yesterday, I saw long-stem roses at the grocery store for $4 each, and it occurred to me that the price of roses seems to be dropping over time, rather than rising with inflation. More and more, I see this (especially in clothing) and find myself wondering who was exploited and what was done to our environment for me to enjoy that price. And do I really need so much? Spoiler: I don't.

Still, there's that little zing! that comes from a new acquisition, and I applaud you for working to break the cycle. It's hard! Using the money for something else satisfying seems a good way to reward yourself in a different way.

Anonymous

Texstyle -- good to hear from you. Like you, I will never be able to embrace the maximal style. I might wear a few additional bracelets, but that is my limit.

Thank you, Joy. I am actually already starting to feel a bit more positive. It is bright and sunny here. The sky is a gorgeous color of blue.

I am glad you found your HEWIs. I'll look for your K/R posts. I always enjoy seeing them. And I agree, pricey even on sale booties have to be close to perfect. Shoes are such a challenge for me. They can seem so perfect in the store, even in the house, but then fail to suit my needs. I hope your booties work out for you.

I am doing well, Jenn!!! No one is more surprised at my success than me!!!!! From personal experience, I thought I was undertaking a near-impossible task. It got easier week after week after week. There were tons of suggestions from Forum Members that helped me along during periods of weakness. I still use Texstyle's suggestions of self care.

What I was most worried about was that I would take my fashion dollars and start buying all sorts of other stuff instead (beauty, home stuff). I would spend as much or more .... just on different budget line items.

And I admit I did buy more beauty products than normal in the first few weeks of January (lipstick, skin care, moisturizers), but that didn't last long. Everything else that I spent money on this year was previously budgeted. When this is all done, it is my goal to write a post of the benefits I gained from going on a purchasing fast.

Joy

Veteran

I am looking forward to that post on the benefits gained from your fast. I am wondering why I can't find the same satisfaction spending $$$ on furniture as on a pair of shoes. I suspect that I've found that even a place-holder lamp will still be with us 40 years later and that I'd better buy furnishings very carefully..