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Privacy and YLF

gardenchick

Veteran

I have been meaning to post this question for a while.

I'm wondering how all of you understand your presence and digital footprint on YLF.

I know that there are different member levels and that someone who isn't an active member can't see some of the stuff on the site.

At the same time, my general rule with the internet is, "assume that whatever you post could be posted on a billboard." In other words, it is a public space and could be read/tracked by someone doing some sleuthing.

I don't have anything particularly to hide and have been excited enough about YLF to tell some others about it. On the other hand, this does make me think, which is why I haven't yet put my name on the site or uploaded my pic to my profile.

Curious to get others' thoughts.

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21 replies

Latest reply was from ManidipaM

cciele

Veteran

I use the same rule for the internet that you do, gardenchick. I don't post anything here (or really, anywhere on the internet) that I wouldn't mind being posted on a billboard

Isabel

Veteran

Yes I totally agree with the two of you. Additionally, if there is something that I don't want up here for long, I delete it after a while. Though I know that is not a complete solution either.

rachylou

Veteran

It can be scary. I remember working my nerve up to post my pic online the first time. But three letters for you: NSA

Haha. But I'm only half joking. Privacy is something that doesn't exist in its purest form. If you have ever handed a credit card to a store clerk, you have let loose personal financial information into the wild world. In some ways, that's less safe than buying online and having everything automatically processed by computer. Computers never feel a need to go party it up in Vegas. Also, the most likely sleuthing scenario is, you start writing a post - like trashing your SIL and leave the darn thing up. She walks by, catches a word out of the corner of her eye... and you're busted. In other words, there's nothing particularly hi tech about the way you get trapped.

In general, I try to always be on good behaviour. I follow "Don't say anything you wouldn't say to someone's face" (hehe, I'm scandalous!) and "If something is secret, don't tell anyone - you tell one person, it's not a secret." Don't talk about how you do like the Japanese in the '90s and carry $900 cash to go grocery shopping. Online or in person. (Because everyone has a nephew who has a friend who has a neighbor with a drug-addled son...)

In terms of identity theft: pay cash for gas.

Political safety: Eh, well, try not to do things like put "NSA" in your posts and emails and letters and phone conversations It's too late for me. Too many scientists in my life. And also, I've already signed my name to the constitution. Literally.

gardenchick

Veteran

Thanks for the comments.

Rachylou, you totally made me laugh with your example of low tech sleuthing...which sounds so realistic!

If I do decide to carry $900 in my wallet, I will make sure not to announce it online

Gaylene

Veteran

I agree with Rachylou that privacy seems like a quaint, antiquated concept these days. I guess I'm willing to trade off some of my privacy for the interaction and convenience of being part of a bigger community via the Internet, but I do draw definite lines for myself when it comes to posting information.

After a recent discussion on whether or not it was "fair" to participate in the forum if one didn't choose to post WIW pictures, I spent a couple of weeks mulling over if I was willing to keep visiting this forum if the price of admission was to post pictures of myself on the Internet. After a few PMs and some hard thinking, I finally compromised by setting limits on which threads I'd post my comments. I also realized that I really just don't feel comfortable posting pictures, and, at my age (65), I'm unlikely to change.

I am comfortable revealing some aspects of my life online because I think some disclosure is vital to develop that sense of closeness and community which is such a big part of YLF. Finding out about others' lives helps all of us put comments in perspective and gives us more freedom to express ourselves without always fearing we'll be misunderstood.

As for my digital footprint, I try to think of it as a series of public personas. If I'm OK with others having that information about me under any of these personas, I don't worry too much about it. I also take some basic precautions like having a special credit card that I use for online purposes that I've deliberately set up with a low credit limit. I also use this card if I need to buy gas at a cash-less outlet or when I'm dealing with businesses outside of my trusted, local ones. I have several e-mail addresses under different names which I use depending on the degree of familiarity that I have with the person, site, or business to separate my professional and personal life. I rarely use my bank card other than in a designated bank machine. I monitor my online presence under my various personas fairly regularly to see what information pops up. I also log on to the Internet using different computers and ISP addresses because I don't use the same computers for my professional and my private life.

I'm aware that none of these measures would impede someone who is intent on putting together a file on me, but it is enough to keep me feeling comfortable.

viva

Veteran

I take basic precautions with financial transactions, and I try not to be a raving lunatic, but because I am on Facebook (and post photos, and have friends who post photos, and DH/kids who post photos) and am on LinkedIn and have a business Website, and have had multiple email accounts for 30 years, I pretty much feel like the cat is out of the bag.

ironkurtin

Veteran

Well, if someone put a picture of my polterwang on a billboard, I'd be pretty humiliated. But the rest of the stuff is stuff you can find without going to YLF.I like clothes? Yup...

rachylou

Veteran

Oh hahaha. My mum just emailed to ask me if I'm rachylou on Pinterest. She's looking for swivel mirrors. You know, my pic is up there. If I told her that's not me, she might not ever have known...

Peri

Veteran

I think someone would have to either

a) have an extremely uninteresting life or
b) personally have it out for me

to care about what I post on YLF. I'm asking for fashion advice, oh the scandal! If the a or b person above got ahold of one of my posts asking about what dress I might look good in, I think the potential for public humiliation would be fairly low.

That's just what I think. I could be wrong! If my apple figure woes turn up on national news sites it's possible I could change my mind.

kkards

Veteran

So, a long long time ago, most people who had a phone at home had a party (shared) line. And the thing was,they were sharing it with the neighbors. And the mortgage you got on your house, well the banker lived in town, and his kids went to school with your kids. I guess what I'm trying to say, I'm not sure we have any less privacy today, only that we are sharing more with people who are probably less interested than in the "olden days".

MsMary

Veteran

I am Team I Assume Everything I Post Is Public. I have a fairly locally-high-profile job, and if anybody in real life happened to stumble upon my YLF postings I would be slightly embarassed, but I have my response all ready: "It's my hobby. Ya wanna make somethin' of it?" LOL

I do keep certain personal things to myself because my former husband kept up with my posts for a while after we separated and it's not inconceivable he's still doing so. (*waving at Mr. K if he's here*)

rabbit

Veteran

I've been a part of of few online communities, some for years, and I've never posted my real face. Some communities are primarily anonymous commenting, and people still get to know frequent posters by their writing style and idiosyncrasies -- it's hard to be 'truly' anon. I'm trying to think why this one is different to me, even though I've not written anything on those others that I wouldn't speak in person, I try to be kind, and I'm not embarrassed by my hobbies and enthusiasms.

Part is that I do have a work related online identity and I though I mostly get positive feedback, I have very rarely gotten disturbing emails from strangers based on my work. (Luckily my face isn't as widespread).

Second is that I'm very familiar with most online communities having a sprinkling of trolls (not just spammers) who remind you that not all the eyes are friendly. The environment can often be not exactly welcoming to all as well, and moderation matters a great deal. When I've looked up the stats on other forums, the ratio of registered commenters/users to unregistered lurkers online at any one time is often 1 to 10 at minimum with vastly more lurkers.

I really like the fact that you have to register here, wait for a few days, and post comments (I think that one is the key), before getting to see photos (Although I only now noticed about the user images showing to not registered users...hmmm, time for a change). I also really like that 'off topic' is protected behind this wall. But honestly the main reason for showing my WIW or images is that so many brave women have done so before me, starting with Angie :).

But yeah, assume it's public.

Desmo April

(website)

Veteran

Nothing is ever truly private online and I try to keep that in mind for everything I post anywhere.

I also suggest the occasional Google search for both your real name and any screen names. You can also check profile pictures with Google image search.

Irene

Veteran

I worried a lot about this until I decided I wouldn't worry anymore. I now post pictures of myself on the internet (blogs and artistic sites) because I do photography and sometimes I model for myself. I am very careful with what I write on the internet because it can always backfire.

Sometimes we are so careful about certain things and then not at all with others. Like, say, 'never give a phone number to strangers', yet we can add them on FB, where you can get photos, comments, info on where you've and who you've been with... And what about handing in CVs? What if the nice SA that takes it from you is actually a creepy crazy person?
Posting a photo of yourself (as long as you are not naked, drunk, etc) can't really hurt your reputation that much. Anybody can take a picture of you on the streets and post it online, and you won't even have control on that.

Laurinda

Veteran

I understand that a quick on-line search with my real name will reveal my address, spouse and phone number but I'm old school, and still value the shreds of privacy I have left. Having dealt with a mentally unstable stalker about a decade ago also keeps me reluctant to reveal much.

At YLF I'm honest but leave some details somewhat sketchy, and don't use my real name or photos on YLF. I'm very vocal politically and have a couple different noms de silico for my political posts and tweets. The NSA could piece it together no doubt, but I'm more worried about the people I deal with day to day and I hate helping Mark Zuckerberg make even more money.

Lyn D.

Veteran

I don't think about this too much, and I post pics here but would not do so on Facebook.
I am a fairly private person, but wanted to be more than just an anonymous avatar here, where I consider you all my special on-line friends

gardenchick

Veteran

Thanks all for the thoughtful comments...as usual!

Yes, very much agree that there is something particularly affirming about YLF that creates openness...a positive and affirming tone is set by Angie in all kinds of ways, everyone else builds on that, and that's the culture! It's quite refreshing and feels like a safe space.

I will say that recently I (along with some others) interviewed someone for a job...a one-second search led to her blog which had some writing that she probably would not have wanted a prospective employer to see. My point is that while I'm not "hiding" my figure challenges (they're fairly obvious!), it would feel "funny" for an acquaintance to know a lot that I didn't share directly. That's where the privacy issues come in.

Anyway thanks for thinking this through with me.

Beth Ann

Veteran

Some reflection and thoughtfulness is always a good idea, GC. I waited over a year to post WIW, and am careful not to be too specific in discussion of coworkers or others in my life, mostly so I don't share their personal information. I think there are some who would consider my interest in YLF shallow, so I don't share it with people who aren't close to me, but I feel that the forum has allowed me to, in an extremely polite environment, learn social media skills that I was lacking before. Of course, I still have a ways to go!

You can delete photos after your thread runs it's course, and you can post and then immediately delete the first photo in the line to keep it from showing on the stream. I've through about posting a scenery photo for the first pic, too.

If I were joining now, I probably wouldn't use my first name, and perhaps not my pic for an avatar. But that would make me just a bit sad to change that now. As hobbies go, it's pretty tame, and I feel what I've learned here helps me present myself better to the world.

Everyone needs to find their way in this "virtual" world GC. I think every forum member needs to choose what works for them. As to Gaylene's comment, there are many ways to give to the forum. I don't think anyone should hesitate to comment on WIW when they post. As a matter of fact:

Gaylene, feel free to post on my WIW!

There.

April

Veteran

I have a Facebook account but only to see other accounts of interest. I never post anything.

I don't post my face on YLF, even though it makes taking pictures much harder (and I know that these pictures are also not as much fun to look at.)

I started not wanting to reveal much personal stuff when I was working in a school district. As the psychologist, I had access to lots of sensitive information about students and families and felt that keeping a professional distance was important. I also heard colleagues speaking derisively about other colleagues' online information and it just made me feel like I wanted to know exactly who my audience was before I shared something personal.

I don't kid myself that this creates total privacy but it does make me feel better to keep things fairly discreet.

crutcher

Veteran

This post has definitely caused me some real thought...I am a very private person...Until just recently, I hadn't really posted a lot on YLF rather like the child at the candy store window...I had looked in with longing and interest but never actually walked through the door to the tune of the little bell...Once I did come in and found that I felt safe and enjoyed the community feeling, I began to participate...This took some time for me to make this step...Realizing that we are all so wonderfully different, I hope to be continually welcomed here...
I have not posted outfits in WIW for several reasons: tall girl shyness, hate pictures taken of me, and finally the topic of this post, privacy...
I may one of these days jump in and put a picture online...Until then, I hope I am continually welcomed here for what I can contribute...comfortably...

ManidipaM

Veteran

I had a job that slsughtered personal space and privacy years ago. vowed never to get caught in another such. so also for the net persona. no one else's private life or details and not enough of my professional privilege is online via me... beyond the extent you might here me discuss it on a crowded bus.

for the rest I am known to be a brash and outspoken soul. no one who knows me will be surprised. if it counts against me despite my strict but generous boundaries... then it wasn't a relationship, personal or professional, that was meant to be.

safety is a concern yes. so I often crop out areas of the house from the background in WIWs. I don't say precisely where and when about travel in some contexts.

privacy other than safety is not a big deal to me. I live my life trying to be unabashed largely due to conversely having self-esteem issues. embarrassment doesn't need more ammunition from me.

and GAYLENE, please post on mine too! would be right honoured to chat.