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Post-op clothes??

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

A question for someone who has 10–12 hours of surgery scheduled a week from today. Several organs will be removed, and then she’ll have 108 degree chemotherapy slosh around inside her for 2 hours. She’s been told to take it easy for a few weeks afterwards, maybe longer. She might have a colostomy type bag for a while, depending on what they find.

She did a sweep through Target and got some dresses that do not fit close to her waist. Thinking about my much simpler laparoscopic procedure in that area a few years back, I think that’s a good idea—for starters. There is no way she will want any kind of waistband at all, so the babydolls and fit-n-flares will be great. But then it will get chilly and rainy. Cotton dresses that don’t reach her knees will be pretty chilly, and she will not want to wear tights. What to do?

I suggested jumpsuits. She can layer under loose ones, and put a cardi on top. She could treat more fitted ones almost like leggings, and wear long cardis over them (assuming she doesn’t have a bag).

I’m having trouble suggesting specific styles, because we are built so differently*. She is a couple inches shorter than me, her bust is a couple cup sizes bigger than mine, and wears probably a size 16. No pear tendencies. I don’t think she wears flares. I’m not sure about barrels or other wide legs. She generally avoids all v-necks, which is why I’ve picked camis and sports bras that might work with these necklines.

These are some pieces I’ve come up with. The pictures unfortunately didn’t load in the order I tapped on them; i hope that’s ok. Do the jumpsuits & tops seem workable? What other shapes might be good for her over the next few months?

https://www.patagonia.com/prod.....als-womens

https://www.eileenfisher.com/o.....lorid=2134

https://www.nordstromrack.com/.....;color=413

https://www.nordstromrack.com/.....;color=143

https://www.nordstromrack.com/.....;color=429

https://www.nordstromrack.com/.....;color=941

https://www.nordstromrack.com/.....;color=429

https://www.nordstromrack.com/.....;color=010

Bet this could be tied in back: https://www.nordstromrack.com/.....;color=731

Thanks you for reading and for any suggestions.

*I’m describing her build as flatly as possible, because I’ve offended people in the past both by trying to show warmth in describing someone with humor and by going the opposite direction and using inches. If you are upset about my description, I apologize. If you have empathy for her, please suggest things for her to wear & stay warm.

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33 replies

Latest reply was from Grace

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

A few more ideas for when it gets colder

Otk socks https://www.nordstromrack.com/.....;color=030

Sweater dresses from Uniqlo https://www.uniqlo.com/de/de/d.....ickkleider

Leg warmers https://www.freepeople.com/sho.....quantity=1

They call this jumpsuit “body tights” which sounds like my idea of putting something over it. https://www.freepeople.com/sho.....quantity=1

Joy

Veteran

Because of my glucose meter I have had to change to pieces that will not press on my abdominal. I can’t stand a waistband and have moved to elastic waists or drawstrings, nothing like jeans with a fastener and zipper. Jumpsuits often need some sort of waist to give them shape plus problematic in the restroom. Winter is hard. I found a couple of pairs of heavy Ponte pants, velvet or wool or even sweats that don’t look like sweats could be warm enough. Places like Lands End or LLBean might be worth a look. I am sized out of their stuff but it has a reputation of being fairly well made and not expensive.
No tops that are snug around the abdomen. Eileen Fisher and JJill make tops with some flair at the bottom. Old Navy may be worth a look. You are right about tights and stockings and even leggings that may be snug across the belly. No shapewear of course. I find long scarves and open cardigans helpful to disguise the belly. I will try to think of other ideas...any thing that will draw the eye up like sparkly earrings helps. Hair ornaments and even hats may be good, even indoors.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Joy, thanks so much for posting—I’ve seen you mention the meter & was hoping you would comment. Did you see ChewySpaghetti’s new jumpsuit? That’s the kind I was looking for—no waist at all. The non-waistedness (what do you call that?) is the feature that makes it so cute. I think Jenn’s Eileen Fisher can maybe be tied fairly loosely and still look good. That’s what I was going for in choosing these. Idk how she will feel about Ponte pants a few weeks on. I know that I expected to be fine with stretchy fabric and loose waistbands, but then had to make a run to the Rack for skater dresses because I really couldn’t stand anything on my waist. Your cardis look so classy, it never occurred to me that they are a way of dealing with a problem. Of course, that’s exactly the effect I’d like for her. Your ideas of sparkly jewelry and hair doodads are also great. Thanks so much for your help!

CarolS

Veteran

oh, dear -- that sounds like a real ordeal for your friend. How kind of you to help her prepare. My sister-in-law underwent a similar procedure many years ago, and it was pretty gruelling. (She had a very early mesothelioma diagnosis and the chemo wash saved her.)

I would think fit or style preferences will take a bit of a back seat to comfort in the early days at least.

Would she consider loose fit cotton knit midi dresses as apposed to dresses above the knee? Knit always seems warmer than woven in cotton, and then she could put a sweater overtop.

IMO, jumpsuits seem like they might be fussy post surgery -- too much maneuvering to go to the bathroom. Dresses are simple.

I wish I could send her the pants I'm wearing today. Light as a feather but fuzzy and cozy. The waistband is incredibly loose (no pressure at ALL), but it never feels like they're going to fall down. They are as ugly as sin but I love them desperately.

Her tolerance for a waistband may also depend on her incision (laporoscopic or down the middle of the abdomen).

Sending positive thoughts.

Sal

Veteran

As it gets cooler warm longer socks and slippers. If she is mostly home and has a good heating system that may be fine.

My best wishes - it sounds a major operation and challenging time.

madeline

Veteran

So sorry hear about your friend.
I agree with your suggestion on Uniqlo:
WOMEN MERINO BLEND A-LINE LONG-SLEEVE DRESS

WOMEN SMOOTH COTTON DOLMAN 3/4-SLEEVE DRESS

WOMEN WAFFLE CREW NECK LONG-SLEEVE DRESS

WOMEN RIBBED MATERNITY LEGGINGS
These might be really comfy as they look soft.
Best of luck to her. You’re a good friend.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Lots of good suggestions.

I had an acquaintance in a similar situation, and she wore very soft and fluid knitted dresses most of the time. Nothing constricting in the slightest. Buttons down the centre front are handy. Think sack and babydoll. With comfy socks and slip-on shoes.

Very challenging and hard situation. Best wishes for strength, a successful operation, a period of fast healing, and lots of luck.

delurked

Veteran

Some things to consider:
- Will there be drains? If so, it may be helpful to have a tank top to wear under the housedress style. Drains can then be pinned to the tank top
- Consider a style that buttons all the way up. That way it can be easier to put on and off so that it doesn't need to go over the head.
- Somewhere between knee to midi length. Maxi length is too long and can be a trip hazard. Shorter than knee is an issue with laying and getting up with modesty

- Pants of any kind may be difficult if they can put pressure on healing wounds, plus may slow down getting to the bathroom. If she needs to go back and forth to doctors offices then she needs to consider how to manage public restrooms as well. Even loose jumpsuits can be a logistical issue as she tries to be as independent as possible in her healing journey.

- Not too tight through the arms or too much constriction through the shoulder if she needs to lay down a lot. A soft cardigan (think barefoot dreams) and be comforting if she gets chilly. Loose enough that it can wrap around her almost blanket like.

- Wireless adjustable bra. Some are made so that they can unclasp (as if to make racerback). Those can be handy because they can even be put on if attached to IVs.

Sloper

Veteran

My sympathy and empathy to your sister - I hope everything goes well and her recovery is safe.

Given the extent of her surgery, I wonder if a jumpsuit is right - I'm visualizing having to climb in and out of it, and the bathroom gymnastics required, presuming she will have stitches and maybe drains. Also she may be very weak/wobbly for more than a few days as she metabolizes out the anesthesia (and deals with effects of chemo).

So if she wants easy loose dresses - sounds right. Maybe legwarmers and cozy socks for her legs, cardigans for her shoulders?

Capezio comes to mind for legwarmers (for dancers).
https://www.capezio.com/catalo.....legwarmers

Or maybe button or snap front housedresses?
Vermont Country Store
National catalog (they do have a website)

Also, for whatever condition she is being treated for, there are hopefully online support groups and/or forums where she can ask for post-surgery tips regarding dressing and body care. This helped me with a surgery (not like hers) and also with chemo effects.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

This sounds challenging. My guess is she will want to stay at home for a while (if at all possible) and in recovery might be in loungewear and PJs pretty much exclusively. But after, the idea of soft knit midi dresses makes a lot of sense to me. That Max Mara dress that several forum members bought on the sale (or a slightly less expensive version, cough) would be the kind of thing she might enjoy if going to be out and about.

Wishing your friend a successful operation and a speedy recovery.

MAX MARA LEISURE Tubo Long Sleeve Jersey Midi Dress

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delurked

Veteran

We may have to agree to disagree about jumpsuits. I imagine that as very difficult for managing after surgery. I suspect access will be needed, and a jumpsuit makes it hard. If/When she's at a dr. office, the dr. office will need access to where her wounds are. A dress can expose more of her than she would want. That's where having buttons and a tank top/soft sports bra (can even cut off part of it if that helps) can help provide modesty. A large scarf or cardigan can help with coverage as well. So she can cover the rest of her as she chooses.

Softness will be key. Layers could be important because I could see she may be hot at times, cold at other times.

Search terms like patio dress, housedress and caftan are a good start.

You will probably want to err on the side of a larger size to give enough space to looseness.

Finds are just a few examples. Some are admittedly more home only styles. I don't see an issue with that as I expect she will be home healing for some time. She will probably need one or two "going out" outfits, but the going out is usually just follow up to the dr. The neckline can be filled in with a ribbed cotton tank top if she chooses. J Jill also has some button front dresses, and they usually have a pretty loose fit through the middle. They also carry plus size if you think that's where she will get the most comfortable fit. Some shirtdress styles are loose without the optional self ties.

ETA - she should make sure she has easy slip on shoes. Nothing that will require bending over of any kind. No zippers, no needing to pull on at the heel to get on. Something that slips on while sitting or standing. This is important to have something loose enough to get on easily but not so loose as to be unstable. I do not recommend mules or other shoes that could fall off the foot. Avoiding any trip hazards or falls is going to be important.

Extra bonus points for having a grab bar installed in the bathroom before she gets home from the hospital.

Lightspun Button-Front Midi Dress

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Go Softly Bandana Print Zip-Front Crinkled Woven Patio Dress

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Go Softly Watercolor Floral Printed Knit Zip-Front Patio Dress

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Puff-Sleeve Clip-Dot Button-Front Midi Swing Dress for Women

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Women's Plus Size Flannel Long Sleeve Knee Length Shirt Dress

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Sloper

Veteran

Also, and pardon for TMI - but speaking from own experience w/surgery and chemo (and everyone's mileage will certainly vary here) - clothes should be washable and not precious due to oozes and drips, etc.

rachylou

Veteran

I had hernia surgery and wear a cgm like Joy and used to wear an insulin pump. I think a jumpsuit will be too hard. At least at first and if she does have a colostomy bag. Too fussy until you’ve lived with these things a good long while. I stuck with dresses (waistless t-shirt and sweater dresses) and thigh highs after the surgery. I wore jackets/blazers to rein in the shapelessness of the dresses. Also re colostomy bags and other gear—People on Etsy offer a lot of things that are helpful with worn medical gear. Oh and I found a cane useful after surgery.

Bijou

Veteran

I would be looking at loose dresses like Delurked has posted along with warm jackets or cardigans. A nice dressing gown may also be useful.

Unfortunately this is major surgery and so your friend is going to take time to heal. She is likely to be fatigued and need to rest up during the day for a number of months post surgery - so loungewear that can do double duty as sleepwear may be useful.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Oh my goodness—so many thoughtful and caring responses! Thank you all so much.

Carol, it will be an actual incision, not laparoscopy. Apparently cancer cells like to hang out around belly buttons, so she won’t have one afterwards. Says that while she was dropping her daughter off at college, the kid interrupted the emotional farewell to pull up her shirt and poke her in the bellybutton, lol.

Sal, slippers! I wonder if she’d like a second pair.

Madeline, thanks for the specific picks.

Angie, thank you for your suggestions and the good wishes.

Delurked, your explanations of why specific items work—or not—are great. I do not know if there will be drains, should ask her. Slip-on shoes, not putting things on overhead…you make so many good points. The sizing is dicey. Our parents have been enthusiastic about my weight loss, and I think she feels pressured because of it. She is in those “cusp” sizes between plus and straight, so even picking out an item already comes with an emotional load because of its size range. Thanks for the finds as well.

Sloper, I appreciate you sharing from your experience. She has joined a support group online. I think, from the way she told me about it, that it’s the first time she’s joined anything online beyond direct affiliation with, say, her kids’ school. About oozing goop & non-precious clothes: she says she will wear the velours track suit jacket I got her for Christmas last year. I guess that makes her easy to shop for this year—just replace the jacket.

Suz, yes, she will be at home. She is a SAHM with an empty nest. I think she’s making an effort to not collapse into PJs for the duration. I can’t think of a better time to collapse into PJs than during recovery from major surgery and chemo, but don’t want to argue with her.

Rachylou, thanks for comments from your experience too. If she has a colostomy bag, it will apparently only be temporary—she’d only have it for the “at first” part you say is awkward. Thanks for pointing out Etsy for the specific needs post-op.

Bijou, yes, things need to be comfy enough to doze off in, but she wants to look good enough for visitors to drop in. I think she is thinking that she will feel better if she looks better. (I disagree, but don’t think it’s my place to say that).

Thanks again for all the good wishes, suggestions, and advice from your own experiences!

Preppy Pear

Veteran

I’m really sorry to hear about your sister. Nothing to add for advice, just wishes for a successful surgery and fast recovery.

anchie

Veteran

Sorry to hear that. Wishing fast and successful recovery. My mom had a very similar surgery around Easter and she is still in nightgowns and slippers, recovering very slowly. Incision is huge, L shaped, but fortunately no colostomy bag. She was very weak for long time after the surgery - required help with basic things like dressing, showering, walking and toilet. Also, upgrades to toilet and bed were required.

My advice is to stock up on nightgowns just in case she changes her mind about dressing after the surgery.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Thanks, Preppy Pear! Hoping for a quick recovery, but I think she needs to prepare for it to take longer. Not bringing her spirits down by telling her that, but short-sleeved Jersey knits that don’t reach her knees for Aug 30 surgery gave me second thoughts.

Anchie, sorry to hear that about your mom. I’m sure it’s hard to be far from her and unable to be involved in her care. Wishing you & your family the best. Thanks for your good wishes and the example of the need for caution.

NancyW

Veteran

I hope all goes as well as it can for your sister. It might be a boost to get new things as she heals and it might be that she will associate some items with this difficult period and might want to burn them later! For those reasons, perhaps get only a few easy, floaty dresses and nightgowns now and keep a list of links for some shopping along the journey. I have traded my slippers for slip on sneakers. I am currently wearing Ryka slip ons and have two identical pairs ready to go when I retire these next month. Falls can be life changing in all the worst ways. I am sure it is difficult for you to be so far away at this time

Helena

Veteran

SF, sending positive vibes to your sister; what an ordeal and I wish her healing and comfort.

Thinking back to my mom's operations and chemos, might you add a cozy housecoat and a lightweight housecoat to the list ... As these are easy to open and close for wound or skin care and hygiene as needed, adaptable to changing temperature preferences, and just comforting. Also then if she does rather just not bother with real clothes some days, she can still feel somewhat together and presentable for visitors etc. My mom had one in a happy favourite color palette, and that helped too.

Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

A couple new ideas. I want to find her things that are comfortable enough that she can forget them, but that also let her have that cheerful little moment when she puts them on & looks in the mirror. These have sleeves, pockets, and buttons down the front. I also think she’ll like Delurked’s finds.

Her hair is kind of reddish brown and her eyes are very pale blue like mine, unless she’s wearing her bright blue contacts. I don’t think there is much difference between her chest and waist now, and swelling in her midsection may reduce that further. I have no experience dressing that shape.

She loves shirt dresses, and I think she likes menswear patterns too. I’m not sure the waist on this will work. It looks straight on the model, but she has a very different build. https://www.uniqlo.com/de/de/p.....bcat=false

I have no idea why these are called “hook” but they’re organic and long. https://levawear.de/shop-class.....ies/72935/

This would need different socks, but I think the stripes are cheerful https://m-en.zalando.de/jdy-jd.....g-m11.html

Im just starting on long cardis. My instinct is to go burgundy/blackberry/deep red but that doesn’t work with the plaid in the lands end dress very well. I’d like to give her a little capsule or at least a complete outfit.
https://m-en.zalando.de/vero-m.....y-g11.html. If I could find a bright red cardi that matches the red in that dress, I could get those, the striped dress, and the charcoal socks. Doesn’t keep her feet warm with the striped dress, but a red cardi could work with it. I don’t think the red Lands End cardi is the right red. https://www.landsend.com/produ.....4079,44256

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Go Softly Watercolor Floral Printed Knit Zip-Front Patio Dress

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Women's Plus Size Flannel Long Sleeve Knee Length Shirt Dress

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Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

NancyW, good point about saving some for later. I’m already on the brink about giving her warmer things. From all the prospective timelines, I do think she will need them as she heals. But I don’t want to bring her down by pointing to how long it will take by giving her things now that are for next season. Maybe I should indeed just give her the eye mask now and be ready to go with the rest in a few weeks.

Helena, i should find out if she has a good robe. She and I are so very different. I’d want a kimono to serve that purpose; she’s likely to find that far too flashy. Thanks for the idea.

delurked

Veteran

A few more thoughts.

This sounds like something she will be recovering from for months. She can't know exactly what she will prefer yet, so consider having just a couple items that work for her initially and then supplementing them after she knows further what her exact needs will be. With her being cusp sized, I do understand that she may prefer misses sizes over plus sizes, but you need to think oversized for the beginning. If she needs to put multiple drains under a dress or even needs to be attached to something like a wound vac, some of the more fitted styles above would be a complete no go to start with. That said, they could be something she moves toward as things progress. And as Sloper said, nothing too precious and make it easily washable. Maybe you can find a print she will like, but also know that what she needs is the right shape and function to help her get started. And most likely it's going to be more lounge wear than everyday wear. After that something that is more of a pick me up can be considered to transition into.

madeline

Veteran

Good point those of you made about drains. It would be handy to have large pockets in one of the items.

delurked

Veteran

To follow up on Madeline's comment. Patch pockets are an excellent idea, and would be helpful to hold her phone. Side pockets would be too precarious for drains, and even patch pockets are not ideal for drains except as a temporary place holder. Drains need to be babied and protected close to the body where they cannot do much shifting - hence something like a tank top that one would pin a drain/drains to. Something like this matches a lot of the criteria needed. Function first.

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Ekouaer Sleepwear Women Snap/Button Front Housecoats Cotton Dusters Short Sleeve House Dress S-XXL

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Stagiaire Fash

Veteran

Delurked, yea, I’m thinking ribbed camis to pin drains to, as suggested earlier. Do you mean side pockets would brush up against the drains inside the garment?
What you’ve said about sizing & needing room will be helpful in talking to her—I don’t want her to feel insulted if I get her a size too big, but think that pragmatically, too small is likely to be even more of a problem. So it helps to be ready with explanations if it’s too too big.

rachylou

Veteran

Things fall out of those side pockets. Once, my insulin pump fell out of my pocket while I was riding the BART subway, standing by the doors. The pump was the device plus a long bit of tubing. Anways… the darn thing got caught in the doors. It was dangling on the outside of the train the whole way!

LAR101

Just bring that darn robe to the hospital! … speaking from experience. …. Ughh
I’m sure you’ll plan her hospital capsule as you would a trip and not forget.

Ps: The clothing requirements for maternity and nursing new mothers seem very similar to what’s wanted here. The cotton knit or denim dresses with buttons or snaps down the front were the best. And that robe!! Ughh!!

Wishing your sister and family all the best.

BrieN

Veteran

Lands End has some dresses in their serious sweats line that seem very cozy. French Terry material so super soft interior. I am only seeing end of season sale items but they may fill in more as the season changes.

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