Pls help me find my shape - YouLookFab Forum

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Pls help me find my shape

lucylove

Hi everyone,

I've not a frequent poster but I've been browsing here for years I am now 43 and my body is changing; I'm a bit unsure what my current shape is and hope you can help. I've gained weight and am not the pear I used to be... I want to believe I still have a shape other than *tubby*.

I need to get my mojo back as lately I've been living in the same pair of jeans and baggy tops, and miss my old slightly-boho/rocker style.

I've been very brave for the photos and worn leggings and a sleeveless top, but I hope this helps! For your info, I'm 5 ft 3, sz 12/14 (US) and about 190lb (my heaviest ever, despite a better diet and exercise... weep!) Please help me figure out my shape and the best way to dress it (most flattering, as that is what matters to me right now). Thanks so much

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Body Type

31 replies

Latest reply was from The Cat

Joy

Veteran

I'm no expert but think that you are an apple shape with a strong shoulder line. Most women have changes in middle age and they can be hard to deal with. Look at Angie's guidelines for Adorable Apple and Inverted Triangle. For me apple tendencies call for more tailoring and not drapery tops to just cover you up.. Try a semi tuck rather than letting tops hang loose. You have come to the right place. Several of us are apples or have apple tendencies.

rachylou

Veteran

You have a 'nice little figure' - sorry, I read that phrase in a book when I was a teen and love it for some demented reason, lol. But your figure is quite balanced to my eye. I see short waisted hourglass with perhaps apple on the side.

lucylove

you're right about my shoulders in this picture, but in fact I think they're quite narrow. I wonder if I'm hunching a bit. Here's a picture that represents them better, I think!

Edited to add... I had a good analysis.. haha. I think my shoulders aren't particularly broad but I've gained weight on my upper arms, making me look broader up there than I ever did before. In other words, the pictures are accurate... I just need to come to terms with the changes!

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Bijou

Veteran

Hi Lucy, you look great (definitely not tubby). Being healthy is the most important thing, and like you I am in my 40's and have had to come to terms with the fact that I am not getting the body I had in my 20's back again (well not without a major upheaval to my life). Ageing has its pros and cons. What I love about YLF is the number of inspirational women in the forum who show that you can look great at any age or size. You can have great boho / rocker style now and hope some of the forum members that have this style too can help you.

I am no expert in this, but think you are a cross between an apple and a pear. Most people are more a combination of two body shapes. I am a pear and find that if I want to look more balanced, a column of colour is most lengthening and slimming. However, for me, I don't find that particularly fun and I am happy with "just flattering enough" looks. Angie gives great tips on how to make things work and I have followed her advice many times on what works on a pear to be pleasantly surprised at the results.

I do know that wearing baggy oversized clothing makes me look larger because I do not have a strong shoulder line. The inverted triangles wear that look so well, because their shoulders act almost like a clothes hanger and the excess fabric drapes beautifully.

You have been brave, keep up the posting and you will get lots of instructive feedback from a wonderfully supportive & stylish community (well that has been my experience).

lucylove

thanks for all the replies. I'm getting a mix of answers, so if it helps my measurements are bust 40.5, shoulders 17, waist 36, hips 44.5 (this is the first time I've taken measurements since I was in my 20s!) So, from that I would guess hourglass/apple-ish? I certainly don't have the slim lower limbs of an apple.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Hi Lucy, same has happened to me. I was a pear for several decades until my mid 40s, initially a very slim one but still a pear none-the-less. From about 40, and accelerated from 47, the love handles and CBHs ( child bearing hips) seemed to extend to the tummy region! So now I feel more apple than pear. But there is HEAPS of good advice on playing down that middle section. I'm 55 now and can still do boho and get heaps of compliments. I've learned to accept the shape I have now.

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

I think you're an apple. Either way, you're beautiful!

Momo

Veteran

First I want to say bravo on your bravery! I agree with those who say pear and apple combo. I also see a beautiful shoulder line and lovely arms, georgous face and perhaps this is too personal but a fantastic bum!
Basically You are beautiful and need to play up what you love ( or learn to love ) about yourself
Xoxo

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Adorable Apple, and cute as a button.

Style Fan

Veteran

I am glad Angie chimed in. I can never tell body shapes. You are very pretty though and very brave.

jill58

Veteran

You're so pretty! That was my very first thought! Definitely don't feel like you have to wear baggy and oversized clothing. You can absolutely stay true to your style and try a few new things too. I liked Bijou's advice. If you concentrate only on what's most flattering, it can get a little boring. For years I defaulted to what I thought was my most flattering look. A long top of some sort -- that could be a shirt, sweater or blazer, over whatever I was wearing on the bottom. The idea was to hide my hips which are wide relative to the rest of my body. YLF gave me so many new ideas and made me realize that I didn't always have to dress this way. The fact is, you look absolutely fine standing there in your photographs. So start from there, knowing that you look great just the way you are. For what it's worth, I was going to say that you seem most like an hourglass but I also see apple why Angie and others say apple.

Jane

Veteran

You've a lovely shape! Its a brave step to share photos.

I posted something similar last year, had some really helpful replies and it really helped my confidence.

I think maybe I would go fitted shapes, and fluid fabrics, perhaps v- necks, belts too maybe.

lucylove

Thank you all so much for your replies. Please be aware that the following will contain self pity

I think the general consensus is apple, though I also have the full hips and big bum and legs of a pear. I think if I lost weight I'd look more like an hourglass (my weight has gone on my stomach--usually it's on my hips and thighs), as when I receive compliments it tends to be on my defined waist (which is still there-- I can see it when I'm naked, but it's right under my breasts as I'm short-waisted. And it's 8 inches smaller than my hips) and my cleavage.

Anyway, I'm feeling a bit lost and, as I said in my first post, a bit of an all-round tub! If I fit a lot of body shapes (big on top and bottom) then I'm not sure how to dress my shape, and I'm so demoralized by the skinny jeans and baggy tops that do me few favours. If I accentuate my waist then tops cling to my belly, and all the Apple info I've read this mornings says to show off slim limbs and flat bum, which I don't have.

Sorry that this sounds so piteous I know there are no miracles; I just need to find some belly-busting exercises so I can get my waist back. My weight gain is recent so I'm still adjusting. I do appreciate you all taking the time to help me out, and sorry I sound so... morose! I'm feeling sorry for myself because there seems a lack of anything good to accentuate. Getting older sucks

rachylou

Veteran

I say pay attention to fabrics(!) A person can be rail thin and 'look fat' because of fabric cling and drape.

lucylove

Thanks, Rachylou. What fabrics would you say are more flattering/ to be avoided (I hate putting it that way as I think people should wear what they like, but for ME right now, I would love flattering )

Traci

Veteran

In general, knits, especially thin knits, cling to every bump. Woven fabrics, in well fitting cuts, show less lumps. I think a smoother shape looks smaller.

I'm short and round and appley and I have to be sure to show structure somewhere. I need to show ankle or a strong shoulder or even just some good forearm/wrist action, to not look like a lump.

Anonymous

Hey, lucylove! Well, we know you are pretty and courageous and smart (since you are here asking for advice!). With all of that going for you, it shouldn't be that hard to sort out some new silhouettes that you like!
What about a flowy rayon or silk boho-ish top -maybe one that is fitted under the bust- and straight, rather than skinny, jeans. Or maybe a long cardigan over a swingy tee.

Jenni NZ

Veteran

Hi just checked my own measurements in inches. I assume by shoulders you mean around the top of each upper arm? Mine is smaller than yours but my bust and waist are same as yours and hips half an inch bigger. That still makes your base shape a pear as far as I can see, bust smaller than hips. Then adding an apple tendency to that pear. I've added a photo to try to show you. My shoulder/bust/ upper arm area is clearly smaller than the bottom half. Only the lower part of my legs could in any way be described as slim, so like you the apple guidelines don't work for showing off the whole leg. I don't wish to advertise the upper thighs, or the hips, or the tummy. But the bit just below the bust is slimmer than the rest, so a fit and flare that highlights that part is flattering on me, and skims over the lower areas. If it finishes a bit above the knee then that makes the slimmer lower legs more obvious, and I finish with a great shoe.
Ryce's advice above about a boho-ish top that is fitted under the bust would definitely show that waist you get compliments on. Then if it can flare out a little from there and come below the crotch point or wherever you feel the legs are becoming slightly slimmer again, that should be flattering. The other thing I've found, with quite a short neck, is that creating space below the neck with V or scoop necks draws the eye upwards more and away from the more problematic areas. Therefore that seems flattering too. Whatever I've read on pears and apples seems to say have interesting necklines, necklaces etc etc. Seeing as you get compliments on your cleavage this would possibly lend itself to that as well. Traci's advice above about making something strong even if ankle or wrist is good. Reminds me that bracelet length sleeves combined with scoop neck is also flattering, seems to show a balance of skin in the right places.
I do sympathise so much with the feeling morose. Weight gain is difficult to cope with when you haven't had it in the same way before. I have tried to re-invent myself and only shudder at photos of myself occasionally rather than all the time. I try to remember the many positive things about my life and what I have accomplished x

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lucylove

Thank you all. I've gone through my clothes a bit this afternoon and had a good cull, with the help of my lovely husband. He's been quite the style guru this afternoon-- I'm quite impressed! He's been helping me decide which of my clothes accentuate my waist and skim my stomach, and I've got a few. Funnily enough, they are the more figure-fitting clothes that I haven't worn in years, but I can see that they flatter me. Most of my clothes no longer fit me, and I'm not going to torture myself by keeping them in my drawers. Instead, I'm going to ebay them and then spend the money on new clothes that I love and that suit me better.

You lot are fab... thanks again xx

chewyspaghetti

Veteran

Good work!

Momo

Veteran

You have been on my mind , I guess bc I know the way you were feeling when you wrote your post
I was thinking what helped me bc I really did move to a much , much better place of acceptance of my body.
One thing that helped was flooding myself with images of women who have great style and who are not thin. Various bloggers who call them selves inbetweenie, plus or sometimes fat. These images of women of all shapes and sizes really helped readjust my eye so I no longer felt like something was " wrong" with my body.
And I got myself some clothes ! Starting with a good pair of jeans (NYDJ) are great to smooth things out and then some nice tops that were thick enough to not cling but still flowed well ( for me rayon is wonderful !) and I became a third piece ( topper) devote. Gave me that bit of stucture that made me feel confident .
Hope that helps you some

lucylove

Thanks, Momo. I've been trying to find blogs with women about my size, but many are either really skinny or super plus-size (all beautiful, but not helpful for me when dressing my body!) I need to look again

And yes, self-acceptance is huge. I am not terrible in this area.. I have the odd day where I feel shitty, like yesterday, but mainly I'm so busy with other things that I don't concentrate on my weight. I do love clothes and fashion, though, and really want to look my best and not hide away in unflattering shapes because I don't want to expose my shape to the world.

I'd like to wear more toppers (I had to google that word as I've never heard it before, but I've seen it here a few times. I now realise it is exactly what it sounds like... haha... I'm from the UK and we don't call them that!) but I live in California now, and it's HOT!

Sal

Veteran

I am late to this thread, but welcome and great to see you!!

You are very pretty and have a lovely shape.

You have had some great advice but I think that you hit the nail on the head when you said you suited more fitting or tailored items. I suspect key things to look at will be:

1) Length of tops, sleeves, neckline (broad tops that finish on my hips are the worst for me). I suspect you would suit shaped tops as I do (high-low, splits in the side etc), with open necklines. Sleeves either shorter (cap sleeves) or longer (elbow or longer) - not that in the middle short sleeve look.

2) Contrast between top and bottom - lower contrast is easier. A really simple no fail is a matching pair of pants and top with a jacket over the top. I wear black pants and top with either a cream or olive jacket and I feel it is very flattering.

3) Skirt or jeans or pants length and heel height. I wear a lot of flats and feel fine in them, but there are certain things I wear that look so much better with a heel. It is experimentation to a degree and this is an area YLF can help or even pictures that you evaluate yourself.

Look forward to seeing you again:)

RobinF

Veteran

Good for you for getting the pictures and measurements and putting it out there! My first post was really hard but everyone here is so helpful and non-judgmental that it was fine. I'm not very good at the whole body shape thing but I think you have gotten some great advice and have made a good start. There is so much good info here!

Anonymous

I won't even try to recommend styles for body shapes - I can barely dress myself, never mind someone else HOWEVER, I will say this: nothing about your picture reflects how you describe yourself, which is really interesting. I see excellent posture and a strong , yet feminine shoulder line. Two things that not many women can claim . Those things beg for a great jacket/blazer, in my mind. You have a very feminine and pretty face, and you can work with that too in terms of a gorgeous chiffon feminine blouse under a blazer. Add in trouser jeans, a bit of a heel, and maybe that will work for you?

Clothing aside, I hear you with the "what shape am I?" business and trying to cope with a changing body as you age. I've got some years on you, and my body only did a complete 180 on me in the past two years or so, but it still impacts us deeply, doesn't it?

JAileen

Veteran

I haven't chimed in earlier because I'm no good at figuring out others' body shape. As to blogs with skinny people, I agree, they're not that helpful. I wear the same size, although I'm a little taller, and there are several people here the same size. I like seeing what works for them. I do post WIWs, though anonymously, because I like people telling me that's not very good, but this is great.

Momo

Veteran

This is one of my favorites
http://www.wardrobeoxygen.com
She is cool and straightforward and has good advice !

rachylou

Veteran

I think pay careful attention to knits. I don't think the difference is in synthetic, semisynthetic, or natural fibre, but in their quality. You'll want to check how fabrics 'break' around bendy points - waist, hip, top of the shoe. Make sure they skim not cling - the thing I hate most is when, lol, a fabric dips in where your belly button is. Like it just can't hold up for half an inch. Weak! Lol. Lining helps with fabric issues like this.

Stiff crisp fabrics, for me, they have to be tailored because they have to be shaped. Rarely are they sewn to bend where I do, for example.

Btw, while I think you may be a pear technically, I don't think you are visually. I think it's the various widths from the front view (from shoulder to shoulder and side to side at waist and hips), not circumferences, that get registered. And there are lots of tricks the eye plays... Also there's two hip measurements, higher and lower. The rate of change can make the difference in impression.

lucylove

thank you all, really. You've really given me a boost. And LisaP, the description of the blazer, chiffon blouse, trouser jean and heel is so very me I haven't worn things like that in a few years, but I think it's about time I did x

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