Part II: WHY would you not care to admit how many __ you have? - YouLookFab Forum

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Part II: WHY would you not care to admit how many __ you have?

April

Veteran

I was very interested in the varying interpretations of my question from yesterday: http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....e-to-admit Responses seemed to fall into these categories;

1. I have such a ridiculous quantity of this item that it could never truly all be used.

2. This item is pretty useless (e.g., the worn out socks) and I'm sheepish that I haven't gotten rid of it yet.

3. I'm so enamored of this item (ahem -- Bag Ladies) that I have more of them than most people would consider typical.

My own item (leather jackets) is a #3. I don't have a vast number of them and I do wear them all, I just have more than most people would probably think I needed. Including [cough cough] my husband. Good thing he lives in another city most of the time.

How about you? Maybe you have categories 4, 5, and 6 that I didn't describe?

General

24 replies

Latest reply was from Jaime

Suz

(website)

Veteran

April, we missed you so much when you weren't around in part because of the thought-provoking threads you always begin!

I was one of those who wasn't all that embarrassed by the number of anything in my closet so probably I don't really have a vote here. But, of the items that do look at me a bit accusingly, (button downs ETA button UPS, I should say...and booties, this winter) I'd say I just feel embarrassed about having unworn clothes in my closet. It feels...wasteful? I'm not sure. As if I "shouldn't" have spent money on that. Which is really sort of dumb, because I would be wearing all of these if the weather were a bit different. But, thing is....I wouldn't be wearing them a lot.

Elly

Veteran

Mine are mostly #2. For me, it is embarassing to admit I'm keeping clothing that doesn't fit (esp. since most of it was bought on deep discount or was poor quality anyway). In my case it doesn't fit because my chest permanently grew in my twenties and my pelvis widenened a bit, or simply because the shoulder and arm fit wasn't right in the first place (I do have a couple jeans that I keep in the size down, not because it is a goal, but because last time I had a medical crisis I lost 20 pounds and needed them-- but I'm at a healthy weight). So basically, it is ridiculous to have it (esp. since I have no sentimental attachment).

Beyond that, the other things I have many of clothing-wise are mostly pre-owned, well-worn men's tees and clothing that is way past its prime. And I still occasionally wear it (although not often except for to bed since I've started working full-time).

My mother is somewhere on the continuum between clutter and hoarding. I live in a tiny house, and yet have a full closet and dresser. That doesn't work! Esp. since I wear about 10% of my closet and the rest is just absolutely useless to me and I could really use the storage space. Hence the resolution to make the big purge. I'm thinking March is the month.

ironkurtin

Veteran

Because my husband has trained me to be ashamed of something I enjoy. So annoying.

Helena

Veteran

Ha, great question! For me because it's so predictable that people roll their eyes at me (lovingly of course!) when I say I bought a new tee Same with striped things actually. I have very limited taste ha!

E

Veteran

I guess I fell into #1! Although I do wear all of my blouses (vs playing favourites), I just can't wear repeat them too frequently. I love having the variety too, so I'm not actually embarrassed, it's just the biggest category in my wardrobe.

Lisa

Veteran

Great followup question. Looking at my answers from yesterday, wasted money is why I would hang my head in shame. My #1 overkill area of my wardrobe, jeans, is embarrassing because I spend an awful lot of money on them (premium denim is lovely but pricey) and I do not sport them all regularly. In fact, I only wear about half of what I own.

My used to be too large categories (tank tops and
t-shirts) was again wasted money, but even more so, because these items tend to fit one day and be too small the next, so I don't even get much use out of them before I am hunting for a replacement. When I started tracking CPW, I realized how pricey these items were upon being purged. I would purchase "cheap" versions and they would not last long, making them rather pricey items to own. Now I purchase better quality versions, and they last a lot longer.

I think it makes sense to invest a little more or a little less on the different categories of items in a wardrobe. However, I haven't quite figured out which items fall into which bucket yet.

Alassë

Veteran

My reason (summer tops): I don't think I could wear them all as frequently as I'd like (if I do, indeed, like them all).

April

Veteran

Aw, Suz -- thank you. I am glad to be back.

Elly -- "somewhere between clutter and hoarding" describes my mother too. I went out West last year just to help her deal with two closets in their house. Then Hurricane Sandy hit and I had to stay for a week, so we did a lot more than two closets. It was sad and exhausting. She insisted on keeping dresses that she had worn to weddings in the 1980s in case she needed them again. She couldn't see that they were 30 years out of date (yes, giant shoulder pads) and would never look right again. She had 30 light blue tee shirts that she insisted she wore "all the time" (hello -- not possible) and the same bottle of bubble bath from my childhood home (I'll be 50 this year). It had turned black, but she brought it with her on moves to three houses since I was a kid.

Cautionary tale, there, for everyone with an overflowing drawer of worn-out socks...

IK -- I'm not speaking to that man until he gets you to Portland.

TG -- one person's "limited taste" is another person's "signature style."

E -- exactly how I feel about my jackets.

Lisa -- I find that as soon as I get a new pair of jeans I like, I get rid of one that I used to like perfectly well but now don't like as much as the new pair. It seems like this would be moving me gradually toward wardrobe perfection, but in reality it leaves me in a state of chronic jean-shortage.

April

Veteran

Ah, Alasse -- you raise an excellent point: "Do I really like these things?" That's an important distinction between exuberant love of a particular item and plain old accumulation.

Aziraphale

Veteran

My answer is none of the above. All my black tee shirts are in regular (or in some cases, heavy) rotation. It's that if I'm wearing yet another black tee shirt, it means I'm not wearing any of the other lovely tops in my closet. And particularly with this fashion-conscious group, that comes off as maybe a little boring? (I doubt anyone else on this forum wears a black tee shirt every second day!).

In my defence, not all of the tee shirts are the standard crew neck/short sleeve shape -- lots have a boat-neck, or cap sleeves, or a vee neck. And also in my defence, most of the tee shirts are high quality, not cheap, and not plain cotton. I like a black tee shirt that stays really black (i.e. doesn't fade to dishwater grey after a few washes).

Susie

Veteran

My response was shoes and bags, for reasons somewhere between 1 and 3 I guess.

If I DON'T wear something, I get rid of it. I purge regularly; hoarding is definitely not an issue for me. I don't keep many things 'just in case' with the exception of dressy, occasion shoes and bags.

But just because I wear a pair of shoes once or twice a season doesn't mean that I need that many. There are very few times that I don't have more than 1 pair of shoes that would work with a particular outfit. But I do like variety in my shoes. Just as I wouldn't wear the same top 2 days in a row, it would feel odd to me to repeat shoes from one day to the next.

The same can be said of bags. There is almost always more than one that would work so, again, I have more than I 'need' but I enjoy changing bags frequently.

April

Veteran

A quotation for anyone who has worried about having more than you "need" of something you enjoy:

“Life is barren enough surely with all her trappings; let us therefore be cautious how we strip her.”
-- Samuel Johnson

milehighstyle (Linda)

Veteran

For me (shoes), it would be 3. I don't really care if people think I'm crazy, but I'm not going to boast about my "number". I do wear them all - but I have so many some may get worn only once or twice a year.

lyn*

(website)

Veteran

Because you'd probably send me to fit and flare dress rehab.

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

I don't think I'm genuinely ashamed of anything I have, clothes or otherwise - I wouldn't have it if that were the case. But different people have different priorities and budget, so I wouldn't necessarily bring up how much I have of any category with people I don't know well. Usually when people visit my house they comment on how many books I own, which is an addiction I readily admit.

Living in relatively small quarters has kept my accumulations in check. My parents built a new house a few years ago and have this huge walkin closet. I don't think my mom has gotten rid of anything since then, excepting items that have literally fallen apart from wear. I hope that she does some culling in the upcoming years before I have to do it for her!

April

Veteran

Oh, yes, Laura -- see my reply to Elly, above. You definitely MUST hope she does some culling in the upcoming years. Maybe it could be a fun (?) mother/daughter project. Just don't plan it during hurricane season...

viva

Veteran

I am just like Susie. I am not a hoarder; I purge all the time. But for some reason, I cannot purge jewelry. A lot of it has been gifted to me; perhaps that is part of the reason. But sometimes it is just -- oh, I might wear that necklace again! (And quite honestly, I'm lucky if I wear that necklace one time in the coming year!)
I just don't like having a lot of stuff that I don't use. And I like order. So I should be very motivated to clear off the top of my dresser, sweeping all of my unworn earrings and silver bracelets and numerous necklaces into a bag and dropping at the Goodwill for someone to wear and enjoy. Not doing it seems to be a sign of sheer laziness or something.
After all of this, I just might clear out that jewelry. Tomorrow.

rachylou

Veteran

... because it (my zillion socks) shows up my bad housekeeping skills. I do laundry only once a month. Thus, I need enough socks to get me thru a month...

Greyscale

Veteran

Mine are frustration with myself for spending money on relatively pricey things I don't wear - especially when I should have known they'd end up as orphans. There's this really interesting long vintage skirt I bought three years ago at a consignment store. $75, and the tags are still on. That's not a huge amount of money, but I wish I had spent it on something else.

(Also, in that case, I doubt it fits anymore. More cause for frustration with myself, but not something I worry about much, actually.)

Gigi

Veteran

My reason isn't listed. I have so many camis because I can never find exactly what I want, so I have to keep settling. And when you keep settling, you keep buying! My problem is one of three things: (1) fabrication (I'm not liking the spandex); (2) style (I may be looking for a v-neck instead of round, or vice versa); and (3) adjustable straps. I can't seem to find all four elements in one cami...so I keep buying them with different combinations of aforesaid elements.

I really don't have a huge amount of camis, just more than I want. I have less than ten.

April

Veteran

"When you keep settling, you keep buying." Truer words were never spoken, Gigi.

JAileen

Veteran

#3 - I collect vintage Coach bags. I find them at thrift stores and rehab them. I don't sell them, I just keep them, and enjoy them. I use them, too. I have many of the old styles, including a couple that are sort of rare. My collection goes back to the early 80s or so. The rare-ish ones might be older. I wouldn't like to say how many I have because you'll think I'm crazy!

My regret: Too many of them are black, which is not my favorite neutral.

April

Veteran

I'm officially requesting that all #3s abandon sheepishness and embrace their favorite item as a source of joie de vivre.

Look at Anna's shoe wall, for goodness' sake. It's in the living room -- how fabulous is that? No sheepishness there.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

Late but I am annoyed at myself for having too many jackets when I finally had reduced them (with YLF help) a short time ago. Apparently I cannot resist a black jacket, but having too many confuses me. Anyway, I need to take some pictures and reduce again!