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Paradoxical style aspirations?

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

For a while now I've been wanting to decide on a style goal; you know, one of those mission-statement-length sentences that captures my goals for my aesthetic dress sense. And the other day some words came to me that felt really accurate and alive. The kicker is that they are really not similar to what I'm doing now, and in fact they are too far in that direction than I would be honestly comfortable wearing, at least most of the time.

I can do modern classic casual pretty easily - it's not necessarily 100% in line with my personality, but it doesn't oppose it horribly, and it's very functional. Maybe I am just leaning in the other direction like a pendulum swinging? I guess my question is, if you have a style goal/mission, do you expect to actually meet it, or is it just a guide for the direction you might be shifting in?

Dressing

16 replies

Latest reply was from Gigi

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

I think you can have style goals for different capsules.

For my work capsule, I want to look neat, efficient and stylish but not edgy.

Outside of work, I am more the fashionista. I want to have fun with, and also, take fashion risks.

I don't see a conflict in the two goals.

I also think you can have a "this is me now" style. You can define it and be comfortable with it. Then, you can have your "aspirational" style. A direction you could see yourself moving in. This might mean purchasing different kinds of items and gradually integrating them into your wardrobe. It's hard and expensive to make a 180 style change. It could be exciting but uncomfortable as well.

kkards

Veteran

there is the secret style me, who wants to dress in kickass up to the minute fashion, and there's the real me, who doesn't have the time or the place to wear that, and craves consistent classical styles. so my everyday fashion persona is trying to keep my classical style modern and current and add kickass styles into the mix (usually in shoes) when i can.

Marina

I am truly conservative and classic lover, although I do not imply I am adhered to only one exclusive style statement. I try my best to invest classics in every outfit and my wardrobe is usually comprised of such items - black pencil skirts, grey, white or dark-shaded cardigans, white one-colored blouses and alike. Though, I find it interesting to use them not only for business outfits; it is quite inspiring to create casual outfits using some of them.
Well, my point is that straight-forward statements in style is hard to apply every day and on every occassion.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

I think Angie would say of course you can blend different style personae! But it might feel more or less seamless depending on those personae. So...if modern classic casual is what you do comfortably, what are you aiming towards? Maybe we can suggest a path or some strategies.

Alassë

Veteran

I'm thinking that your words sound very authentic to you right now, not merely a style persona you're trying on as a costume. That suggests some toe-dipping might be in order for you to gradually get you accustomed to your true self/style. What about your words makes you uncomfortable?

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

You know what I think is causing the tension? I am self employed and work at home. I don't have a 'real job' right now and theoretically I could wear whatever I want, whenever i want. But the style goal I thought of has more to do with what I want my weekend self to look like than my workday self, even though in practice I don't have to make a distinction. So when I think of buying weekend ish stuff with the new style goal in mind it seems good, but slightly dressier stuff for meetings or errands or whatever has a different feel to it.

catgirl

Veteran

Denise summed it up for me. For work I want to be comfortable, presentable and I try to add a little of myself in there via footwear. For me/MOTG I am much more about UWP, RATE and androgyny. They are really two separate lives (and that is a change from my old work where I could wear what I wanted).

rachylou

Veteran

A good question. One of the big challenges on the style front, if you ask me. I know I have style conflicts for one. I like fashion drama, but I don't like it at work or running around doing errands - which is 99.9% of my time.

For work, I think suggestive touches is the way to go.

What were your words?

CharlotteVale

kkards ==> Your "secret style me" resonates with me. I default to classical styles (hah, when I actually have any sort of style) because it is easier as a "uniform" ... but sometimes I feel my rather vanilla style (not that classical is vanilla in all cases, just the half-assed way I do it) doesn't fit what is on the inside.

If I could dress any way I wanted (or rather dared to) it might be a combination between elder goth, steampunk and boho. That would sure turn heads applying the sorts of roles I will soon be looking for. Not a lot of communications professionals out there rockin' the steampunk look. <sigh>

rachylou

Veteran

There's always Cupcake Goth at least - EMC, Microsoft Technical Writer:

https://twitter.com/CupcakeGoth

Helena

Veteran

I think you can definitely incorporate different styles, even if they are opposing. In fact, I imagine that might be super-modern, as the whole matchy-matchy thing is out, and a bit of quirk and originality is much fresher. The modern-classic look is a great one to kick up with a dash of something else. Why not try it out - perhaps in small doses at first - as an enhancement of your style (rather than feeling you have to change the whole thing at once) - and see where it takes you?

Gigi

Veteran

Laura, you sound quite a bit like me! I work at home too, and it does allow you to be more flexible in following these style inspirations. I too have a quite well-developed modern classic persona, and I too have been led in directions that seem kind of crazy! I do think that part of it might be the pendulum thing, but I think it needs to be followed anyway, because I feel like that's part of the inner "me" trying to get out and express itself. I've been through maybe four different personas over the past year and am working on my fifth. :^) I hope that eventually the styles will integrate, or I will find a "core" style that has room to incorporate bits and pieces of these other personas.

What I do is follow my inspiration. I don't go crazy buying a bunch of new clothes, but I do try to buy a couple of tops, a couple of bottoms, a pair or two of shoes, etc., in whatever persona is striking me at the moment. Since I am very hard to fit (XXS petite), this takes me quite a while, so I the spending doesn't get too out of hand. :^) I do find that some of the pieces can be incorporated quite well with my existing modern classics wardrobe, so that is a bonus, as it "spices" up my rather conservative palette.

So...my advice is to start following that persona, starting maybe with inexpensive items (if possible), and not buying a whole bunch at once. If you have good luck at thrift stores, that would be a great place to start. Do buy yourself enough to work with and be able to play around with. Over time, you may find that the "draw" of the persona lessens and you move on to something else. If you do decide that the new persona is the "real you," you can always work to incorporate little bits and pieces of it into a more conservative style that is more suited to attending meetings and the like. For instance, if you discover you are really a rocker at heart, you could add leather touches or edgy jewelry to an otherwise "safe" outfit. But you won't know what awaits you until you try! :^)

Laura (rhubarbgirl)

(website)

Veteran

That's great advice, Gigi, thanks. I think the lack of boundaries from working at home sound good until you get them...or maybe the grass is always greener. After pondering it some more I realized that it's perfectly natural for me to want some sort of different persona for workdays and non workdays, whether I go into an office or not.

I realize that I haven't posted what my style idea actually is. To be honest it sounds rather risable when I say it out loud, a bit childish.

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

No not fear stating your style goal, it implies you might feel some embarrassment about it? Think of what that style persona might add to your at-home work situation. Perhaps it would make working at home more fun, resulting in a more creative, enjoyable experience while doing the work. Just something to think about.

rachylou

Veteran

Can't be that bad. I'm still thinking about a fuzzy, mean-Muppet clutch, after all.

Gigi

Veteran

Laura, it's none of our business what your style idea is. :^) If you don't want to share, that is perfectly OK!

Working from home is definitely a challenge. It took me quite a while to adjust. For a long time I continued to dress up as if for work. It helped me focus. But I have been working a lot less due to health problems--it's been a few years of working less--and so my wardrobe has tipped much more to the casual side of things. It's still definitely nice casual stuff--no destructed jeans, for example--but much of it would not be suitable for an office. You know your own emotional needs, so just go ahead and experiment and see what your psyche comes up with! :^)