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Packing Paralysis

Elizabeth P

Veteran

OMGoodness, what is WRONG with me?

I love packing posts. I love packing pins. Yet when I try to pack... I always take twice as much as I need.

I'm heading to my mothers house for the holidays. My normal pattern for this trip is to hang out at home in pretty much exclusively Lululemon pants, a tee and a hoodie. This year, I want to try to dress a little more, at least a few times, given I now have comfortable casual clothes... oversized sweaters and cardis, and leggings, jeans I love, that sort of thing.

When I started to put things out, all of a sudden I have clothes for about a month, because I want to take all my favourite things. Even though I know I'll wear them once, or not at all.

Can you help me? I don't need help with specific items (unless of course you feel you know my wardrobe that well ) but with the numbers. This is what I'm going to be doing:
11 days, two of those with a five hour drive
Christmas dinner (which I'll dress up for)
Family photo (shades of blue and black) (may or may not coincide with the Christmas dinner, so I'm allowed a second outfit for this)
Shopping/errands 2-3 times
Going to an afternoon play
Visiting people 2-3 times
And a LOT of hanging out drinking tea

So, a plea to those of you who travel a lot. How many bottoms is reasonable? How many tees and toppers? Yes, I can do laundry. Maybe if I have some numbers, I can whittle this all down into something reasonable.

Oh, and it doesn't really matter... I'm driving, and have lots of space. I just find it frustrating how difficult I find this. I think my casual clothes mix and match well! So if I can't get my act together, then taking it all it will be.

So, if you want to have some fun, love some help!

Also would love to open up the conversation to anyone who experiences the same thing, and how you've dealt with it.

Pieces I find comfortable, and am considering, I'll put in finds, where I can. See, too much already!

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1969 plaid always skinny jeans

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Two by Vince Camuto Faux Leather Trim Moto Leggings

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11

Halogen Dolman Sleeve Cashmere Tunic (Regular & Petite)

Sale

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2

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Shimmer V-neck sweater

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The Nikki Relaxed Skinny Jeans

$225.00 $135.00

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Boyfriend cable knit sweater

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Dressing

29 replies

Latest reply was from Astrid

Meredith

Veteran

I'm going to be laying out outfits for my trip later today. I always find it challenging! What type of luggage will you take? I ask because I always travel with a carry on sized bag even when driving. The amount of luggage you're willing to take will somewhat dictate what you can pack.

Elizabeth P

Veteran

I'll take whatever I need, lots of options. But probably a huge duffle bag, so that I can easily turn it into a soup bowl. (I won't be unpacking, but might have a desk to put piles on) But it doesn't need to be full

I'm really more interested in how normal people would approach this... what is reasonable?

carter

Veteran

I may have a wee tendency to overpack, but here's what I'd take:

2 lounge bottoms (for me...ON sweatpants and ponte pants)
3 lounge tops (for me...a tee, sweatshirt, fleece henley)

3-4 casual bottoms (for me...blue jeans, black jeans, leggings, something else)
6 tops (for me...6 pullover sweaters)

1-2 nice bottoms (for me...black cigarette pants)
2 dressy tops (for me...silk tunic blouse and something blue for the picture)

appropriate outerwear.

as many shoes as needed for the various outfits

Have fun!

Anonymous

Normal people would approach this challenge by crying. Or maybe I'm not normal

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Elizabeth, I think you should take as much as makes you happy. You have room!

Gaylene's advice to pick by "outfit" for each event has really helped me. So, rather than deliberately trying to produce a "travel capsule" I actually make a list of all activities (as you have done) and then pick my outfits for each.

In my case, I'm often travelling to a situation where I will want to be prepared for various possible weather situations, so I usually have to add a few options. But in your case, you probably have a fair idea of the weather conditions and may not be outdoors all that much anyway.

So....first order of business.

1. Pick the Christmas outfit.

2. Pick the photo outfit.

3. Pick the travel outfits. (Might be the same for both trips.)

Those outfits sound like the outliers -- they don't necessarily have to be like the rest

For your regular daily wear, I'd probably aim for 3 or maybe 4 bottoms, 6 tops (or thereabouts -- aiming for variety here), some kind of toppers (probably your new Lulu cardi?), and a couple of scarves, etc. to switch things up. When I travel I will often bring a simple top that can easily be layered or "doctored" with a scarf to look different.

Plus footwear and outerwear. And PJs and undies and layering items, of course.

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Lol -- I'm starting to pack for our Belgium trip, and I also have a tendency to overpack, but my recent photo trips with strict baggage weight restrictions have helped me downsize a little. However, this is not primarily a photo trip and will include dinners out, etc. The urge to take an outfit for every occasion will be strong, even though I'm pretty sure my husband will throw a couple of sweaters, a couple of tees, an extra pair of jeans, some socks and underwear in a bag and be done! So I'm taking my cue from him -- if he's only taking jeans, then so will I.

So, no great advice for you from here, just sympathy as I go through the same thing!

Elizabeth P

Veteran

Well Carter, you just made me feel a whole lot better. Cuz that sounds like about what I was going to do... but I was feeling like I SHOULD be able to do it with about 3-4 bottoms. Which didn't work well with the sweaters I wanted...

Here's my attempt at filling your list:

2 lounge bottoms (Lulu's)
3 lounge tops (3 tees, 2 hoodies )

3-4 casual bottoms (blue jeans, black jeans, VC leggings, plaid jeans)
6 tops (Lulu cardi, purple/black striped sweater, navy sweater, black sweater, something cobalt just because I can't leave cobalt behind!)

2-3 tees to wear under pullovers/cardi (white, black, navy, purple)(can overlap with lounge tops)

1-2 nice bottoms (for me...black ponte pants)
2 dressy tops (for me...red sweater and something blue for the picture)

And a couple of scarves.

That works... thanks!

Liz

Veteran

Lay out:

1 outfit for Christmas dinner

3 outfits for shopping/visiting/the play/family photo (3
tops, 2 bottoms)

3 outfits for driving/hanging out (3 tops, 3 bottoms)

Then add one more top for hanging out and one more top for
shopping visiting to give you a bit of wiggle room.

That leaves you with 5 bottoms and 8 tops plus your
dressed-up outfit. (If the play is a dressy event, wear your Christmas dinner
outfit again.)

(Yeah, I know I just stated
that far too bluntly and plainly, as if there are no other alternatives or
extenuating circumstances, or whatever. But I figured something clear and plain
would give you a benchmark to work with and maybe clear some of the fog.)

Elizabeth P

Veteran

Hey Suz Janet and Liz, you posted while I was formulating my post. Oh my goodness I feel better, thanks so much! More later, gotta run to the work potluck!

Elizabeth P

Veteran

Back now... so glad I wore stretchy pants

Suz and Liz, you echoed almost exactly what Carter said, so I guess thinking that was is actually more "normal" than I thought. Liz, not too blunt at all! And Suz, I do tend to do it by outfits, it's much easier. But it also means the pieces add up.

Funny it really looked and felt like too much. But as I said, not that it matters, really. It's just a little challenge to myself.

And Janet, best of luck with your packing!

Keturah

Veteran

Former over-packer here! I wouldn't re-type what everyone else has said -- because it's all spot-on!

Do you tend to be a mood dresser? I sure am! Learning to pack light this past year has taught me a lot about my sense of style and dressing habits.

It's taught me that...

...I was over-worried about being trendy and stylish. Much of the time I was worrying about what other people would think, and dressing to please other people, and not always myself.
...to only buy what I really love. If you buy what you love it will all fit together, especially if you buy some basics you love.

...I can be creative.
...there is not a shortage of clothing in this country. If I really need something, I can buy it when I'm traveling.
...packing less makes me feel better and less cluttered in my head.
...style is more than fashion.

Just mentioning the head/heart space of it all.

These two websites have helped me immensely!

Fashionable travel capsule lists:
http://travelfashiongirl.com

Lay out your entire packing capsule and photograph it! ('Tis a mens fashion/style blog. But I have found so, so much useful information here.)

http://effortlessgent.com/lean-wardrobe-packing/

xo and have a blast on your trip!

shiny

Veteran

Since you are driving and have the space, I wouldn't be overly concerned with over-packing. Under those conditions, you really can't! I allow myself the freedom to overpack if we're driving. Who cares if I don't wear everything I packed? Packing for an airplane trip is a different story -- then I need to really set some limits, because I vastly prefer the convenience and back-saving benefits of packing in a carry on.

That said if driving the areas I'd overpack in are coats/toppers, footwear, and handbags. As these take up a lot of room. I'd put extra footwear and handbags in a separate piece of luggage. All the rest can be laundered. And these items are the items that enable you to add interest to your outfits, rather than looking like you are in "travel outfits." If that makes sense?

For 11 days as a rule of thumb I'd take only 3 bottoms (not counting your loungewear). Jeans, black skinny ponte knit pants, and a third wildcard -- perhaps your printed pants, or it could be a skirt.

I'd start by selecting these three bottoms, and laying them out on my bed. Then I'd pull out tops and toppers and see how many go with each bottom. Lay it out, outfit by outfit. Add in accessories and shoes. If you know your itinerary, lay it out day by day.

When not traveling by car, I find I need to limit shoes to just three pairs, including the one I wear on the plane, and two in the bag. So as I layout outfits on the bed, I'll eliminate anything that doesn't go with the allotted shoes I've picked out. I can also just bring one or two clutches, so I eliminate any outfit that doesn't go with those. But, since you are traveling by car, you have more freedom here.

If you decide to take lots of sweaters and extra pants, then downsize with your lingerie, Pj's, and loungewear, as these can all be laundered frequently. Don't take 11 days worth. You'll save room.

Final note: I always take nice clothes to visit my parents, but wind up in lounge and gear anyway. Partly it's that "regressing" that happens when you go back home. Partly it's just way more comfortable, and my whole family is schlepping in sweats, and nobody wears shoes in the house, so why not.

Elizabeth P

Veteran

Thanks Keturah, I'll definitely go and check out those blogs. And thanks for sharing the tips you learned over the last year, they are very wise.

Shiney, thanks for chiming in, oh master packer! I will definitely come back to this when I fly by plane, as your tips and approach sound awesome. I know it's not an issue for this trip, I just am tired of taking all kinds of things I don't end up wearing. Because of:
I always take nice clothes to visit my parents, but wind up
in lounge and gear anyway. Partly it's that "regressing" that happens
when you go back home. Partly it's just way more comfortable, and my
whole family is schlepping in sweats, and nobody wears shoes in the
house, so why not.

YES!! And I think this is why it's on my mind... this is what always happens, and I come home thinking "what was I thinking". But I'd like it to happen just a little less this year, and I think it can, given my casual clothes are one step more comfortable than in the past.

Plus I need to show off some of my new duds to my sister. I generally see her once a year, and I swear she thinks I have one pair of pants and two tops - one of which I bought at Costco with her 15 years ago, and she's still also wearing hers

PLUS... it's fun to think rather than throw in a bag. Although I think I'm over thinking this time...

Janet

(website)

Veteran

Shiny, I know I'm just tagging along here, but thank you for that rundown. You just confirmed an idea I had a little while ago: I pulled out the skinny jeans I'm planning on wearing for the flight (very stretchy and comfortable), a pair of patterned skinnies that dress up a bit, and was considering restricting myself to a third pair of pants (black ponte is a great idea, or maybe my black moto pants!). Then build outfits around those with tops and toppers!

I'm hemming and hawing on outerwear. I hate to travel with a bulky coat, but I don't want to be cold. Thinking about wearing a longer wool coat and taking along a short leather jacket for variety and not-too-cold temps (one I can layer underneath).

I'm going to try to limit myself to two pairs of shoes. Ack!

E

Veteran

I'm a light packer, and I'm going to be getting ready for my own trip home for Christmas soon, but here are some concrete numbers that I find very useful:

3 bottoms (neutrals; at least 1 skirt & 1 pair of trousers for variety)
5 tops (whatever colours/patterns I'd like, as the other categories are neutrals)
2 toppers (neutrals)
1 outerwear
2 shoes (one dressier, one casual)
...and 1 fancier outfit (a dress for me) for Christmas & the evening performance of a musical we'll be seeing the week after.

If everything except the fancy dress mixes & matches, I'm left with 30 potential combinations from the 3 x 5 x 2. If I had more space, I'd probably add another topper, which would bring me to 45 hypothetical combinations.

I'd also bring 1 pair of pjs, of course, a pair of tights for the skirt & dress, a handful of wool socks (which don't need to be washed after every wear) and enough undies that I'd only have to do 1 load of laundry, as undies don't take up a lot of space anyway. I'm headed to south Texas, so I don't need to worry too much about warmth, or else I'd toss in a pair of silk long johns & a hat/scarf/mitten set. I still might bring the latter just for fun!

Deborah

Veteran

I am no help. I tend to over pack but I accept that that is what I need to do to be happy!

catgirl

Veteran

On my last trip, where I had a lot of events I cared about looking good for, I just brought all my very favorites. It still all fit in a carry-on, but it was way more than I'd usually bring for a 6 day trip. I liked having options and felt better about not having to run out and buy something in a panic. I only brought one pair of shoes, the Topshop booties, which went with everything.

Remember that tops x bottoms = outfits, so if you can pick three tops and three bottoms that go with each other and don't all look the same, you have 9 days of outfits, not including changing accessories.

Aida

Veteran

Good advice already, so I just wanted to pop in and say that I think you'll enjoy "being dressed" at your folks'. My folks (and my in-laws for that matter) used to think I'd be more comfortable dressing down, but I stuck with my usual dressing and now they look forward to seeing what I'm wearing Also wanted to suggest that if you're packing any outfits you haven't worn before, do try them on ahead of time. Nothing worse than packing light only to find that one top or bottom doesn't actually work so now you're out 1/3 of your mini wardrobe's outfit possibilities.

unfrumped

Veteran

I am so bad at this myself so I am watching for advice.

I do find it's helpful to lay out actual outfits. Otherwise I misunderestimate what goes with what.

Then I have the same problem at times--there'll be something I really want to wear even though it only works for one day or event. Then I have to wrassle with myself over whether to indulge or to cut something and multi-wear something else. Sometimes I can talk myself down.
So either you just take it all, or, lay everything out and see what seems most negotiable to you.
For car trips it's not always a space or weight issue, just that I can see it's simpler and less "fussy" to try to wear too many things. Also I take it as a sign of creativity if I can mix and match and make do a bit, so I have that pressure, too!

Elizabeth P

Veteran

Thanks for the ideas and tips ladies! Some great advice.

I did lay everything out tonight, and tried on a couple of combinations I've not worn before... then threw in a couple of favs I hadn't planned on. I know I've got more than I need, but I just can't spend any more time thinking about it. I think I will pay good attention to what DOES get worn, and maybe try better next year.

shiny

Veteran

Elizabeth - don't beat yourself up if you don't wear all of it. I've got the business trip packing down to a science now, but I still *deliberately* bring one extra outfit, because you just never know. So... I am well in the habit of coming home without wearing everything I packed. No guilt, why should there be?

I'm also of similar mindset to Una.. especially when I'm nervous, like if I have to give a presentation... I will err on the side of overpacking my favorites. The items that make me feel most confident. Just in case.

As for the loungewear / parental visits, my folks live in a very rural area and when we visit we very rarely leave the house, if that, to just run to the grocery store and back. Or, to spend time outdoors boating and swimming - which requires gear. Or we are baking and cooking, which requires aprons. At most I need just one somewhat dressy/smart casual outfit. Otherwise, it's these visits that remind me to keep my loungewear capsule refreshed.

Janet - I find the ponte knit pants are the best travel pants ever, hands down. I have more than one pair. As for coats, I now have two packable puffers, a 3/4 length and a shorter/hip length. They pack up into a tiny zip pouch. Then (for milder & wetter climes) there's my Burberry trench, which folds up to exact dimensions of my spinner bag and takes up surprisingly little space, I actually think my jean jacket takes up more space. I have not taken my wool coat on any trips this year -- too bulky, and not needed once I get where I'm going, as I'm usually heading south. Because I'm traveling south mostly these days, most of my outerwear is suitable for milder climes than Boston. I do have Boston-appropriate outerwear of course, but I haven't bought anything new in awhile. I'm learning instead to layer strategically under the lighter coats. Cashmere is fantastic for this.... and fantastic for travel as it is light, takes up little room, and brilliantly temperature-regulates!

As for shoes, please bring three, not two! Even for my shorter trips, I always bring three, two in bag, one on feet. I don't always wear all three pairs, but it's good for your feet to rotate. Also I've had trips in the past in which my feet swelled so much and/or got blisters... I was really glad to have that 3rd pair, something forgiving, like a sneaker or cushiony wide width flat or even flip flops. (This is not counting my slippers.. I have a cute pair of VS slippers that are permanently packed in my bag... cuz it grosses me out to walk bare foot around hotel floors... )

DonnaF

Veteran

Ha, ha, ha. This year I'm making a conscious decision to OVER pack because DH has been ribbing me about wearing the same things year after year in all the pics of our visits with his family -- you know, the dark printed clothing that doesn't show grime or spills. This year, I'm taking white shirts and my white jeans -- the wear once or at best twice stuff. I'm feeling very, very wild. During our seven non-travel days, I thought I would wear pullovers alone (or over camis), shirts alone (or over camis), or pullovers layered over shirts (possibly over camis if I get really cold). Kinda monotonous but very simple. A moto vest, a utility vest, and a parka because my trench would be too dressy. One ponte skirt that is as comfy as jammies. I think three or four pairs of jeans plus my travel jeans. I plan to arrive home with a few things that can be worn again before laundering, as I will have to hit the ground running in the days following our nine hour drive.

Helena

Veteran

Echoing Keturah, I would suggest googling the type of trip and length, e.g. beach vacation 7 days what to pack ... I've done this for the last few years before travelling, and I once I flip through a few lists and find one that seems appropriate for me, I follow it to a tee and always have just the right amount. Pinterest has some great lists also Here's one I've used in the past: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/21110691977434504/

Elizabeth P

Veteran

Shiney, I'm really not beating myself up, more laughing at myself. I've backpacked around Europe, I can do light if I have to (oh right, that wasn't yesterday, was it?) But when I have the car... man oh man, rediculous. And I would like to come home having worn most of what I took. And I would like to dress a little more this year.

I am really enjoying the tips that have been put forth here, and I hope othres are too. Thanks for the additional comments TG, Donna and Shiney!

And now I'm in panic mode. I wonder how much more I'll throw in tonight as I hit "oh, but I'd like that too and I don't have time to be practical" mode. The BR dress, for example

Astrid

Veteran

You are going to laugh, but I'm wondering what to pack right now and I'm getting totally stressed out. And I'm only going home, where we have a washing machine and enough people I can borrow clothes from (especially loungewear and pjs). I even had the insane urge to go buy another pair of pants. Not sure what's happening right now. I think I have to do some deep breathing exercises... And maybe shop for another pair of fitting jeans in all the free time I'm going to have at home. Is it insane to pack one skirt and one pair of pants as the only bottoms? Feels that way to me.

Elizabeth P

Veteran

Not going to laugh Astrid!
And no, you're not insane to only take two bottoms. I could probably do my whole trip with that... in fact if I go into hermit mode that's probably all I'll wear anyway! LOL. I think taking a deep breath now, and planning on spending some time looking for some great jeans while you're away, is a good plan.

Sheila

Veteran

It sounds like you are doing great Elizabeth. You have some truly lovely clothing items that look smashing on you !

I can't wait to meet up with you when you get back. I am feeling a general lack of preparedness and anxiety about Christmas this year.
I would actually like to be away for 11 days and help someone else rather than deal all the commotion on my own... Anyway... enjoy and have a wonderful festive time ! And bring whatever you want ! You are not limited to a small airline cubby... bring it all !

Elizabeth P

Veteran

Oh Sheila, if only you knew what "all" is.... I'd have to rent a schoolbus

Looking forward to meeting you too. Have a great Christmas, and take a deep breath every once and a while!

Astrid

Veteran

Thanks Elizabeth. I took a break to eat something and made some tea and I'm feeling more relaxed now. And I'll be just fine with my jeans and skirt. I'm going to steal my brother's joggers for around home anyway...