Packing for an Indefinite Trip - YouLookFab Forum

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Packing for an Indefinite Trip

Jenn

(website)

Veteran

My mother's health is rapidly declining and I'm taking an emergency trip to be with her. I've booked an open-ended ticket and don't know how long I'll be away from home (though it will be days to weeks, rather than months).

I know this question sounds trivial, but dealing with details and logistics is what's helping me cope right now, so...

How do you pack for an open-ended trip? Pull together a mix-and-match capsule? Plan a week's worth of outfits and wash if necessary? Throw all your favorite, comfort clothing in the suitcase? Mom has a constant stream of visitors, plus there will be other family there, as well as hospice workers/volunteers in and out. I don't need to be stylish, but I do want to feel as mentally pulled-together as I can.

I'm a very light packer, so I'm leaning towards the capsule option. Those who have been through a similar situation, what do you recommend I pack?

Dressing

29 replies

Latest reply was from Jenn

Mochi

Veteran

I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you. I just wanted to empathize with you at a very difficult time. I'm sure other forum members will be more helpful. Hugs.

catgirl

Veteran

I'm so sorry... Bring stuff that's easily mixed, easily washed, comfortable physically and is comforting to you emotionally. This is not the time to test new looks or wear items that challenge you. Hugs.

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

(((HUGS))).

I am so sorry.

Bring your FFBO's that can be mixed and matched. 10 days worth. Wash and Repeat. Make sure you have a range of temperatures covered in the capsule (weather can be warm and chilly at this time of year).

Not sure if you need something dressy, but think about that too.

abc

Veteran

My thoughts are with you and your family during this challenging time.

I think Angie's advice is spot on. Now is not a time to try anything new. Go with what you know works. I assume you'll have access to laundry facilities which can help a ton.

Hugs.

Anonymous

I am sorry. You may not want to hear this, but be sure to pack funeral clothes. I was in a similar situation and did not. I wish I had. There is nothing worse than trying to find something to wear when lots of people you seldom see will be around and your only option is to shop at Walmart

El Cee

Veteran

Jenn -- Big hugs to you. I am so very sorry that your mom is ill. If I could suggest anything regarding your capsule, I would say to focus on your overall comfort and the ease of care of the garments (bring only machine washable or easily hand washable items -- nothing fussy). I had to make a similar emergency trip several years ago when my Dad became ill. I packed enough clothing for a week plus one day (the outfit worn on the plane). My capsule (which included what I wore for travel) consisted of 4 pairs of comfy jeans/pants, 8 knit tops, 2 cardigans. I additionally brought enough basics for one week (3 bras, 8 socks, 8 undies). I wore comfy slip on loafers on the plane and packed an additional pair of good walking shoes in my bag. I also packed a lightweight trench, a small umbrella and a few pieces of simple jewelry. I wish you safe travels. You will be in my thoughts.

JAileen

Veteran

I'm so sorry your mother is so ill. I don't have much add, other than if she's in a hospital, you might want to layer depending on temps you have no control over.

columbine(erin)

Veteran

I had to do a trip like this recently and take my baby. I have a navy and blue based capsule and I took it with me. I had two skirts, 2 cardigans, several flowy tanks, one dark lacy top in case of a funeral, 1 pair of pants besides the ones I wore to travel. I needed five days of clothes for myself and baby and diapers to fit in one carryon. That was tight. I wore boots and long trousers, a scarf, and a long cardigan to keep cosy without a coat. I was leaving blizzard weather for hot weather and didn't want a coat to keep track of. I wore sandals while I was there. I really wished I had one more pair of shoes though. I brought a baby K'tan wrap and was really thankful for that.

Sal

Veteran

Sorry to hear that Jenn.

No particular advice - I imagine you will be able to wash clothes regularly so I think you need only a week to ten days worth. Layering. And take a book/kindle, there can be a lot of waiting around in hospital, homes, and your Mum may sleep a lot.

Send my very best wishes.

Anonymous

I don't have any suggestions that haven't already been posted, but I'm so sorry to hear of your mom's ill health. Prayers!

Ledonna N.

Veteran

I took care of my grandma during her end of life home hospice. I can tell you that a capsule wadrobe was a great help. Less to think about. I also took some comfortable clothing. Some days were very long and tiring. Yoga pants served me well but still look pulled together. . Bring 1 dressy outfit. Just trust me on this. I think you may be glad that you packed it. Also bring some personal items to make yourself feel at home. I brought a blanket that was my favorite. I did have to check my bag. I'm a carry on only person but it was well worth it. I'm hope this helps. I am sorry to hear about this part of your journey. I will keep you in prayer.

Laurinda

Veteran

Excellent advice so far, and I will second Sally's recommendation of an E-reader or tablet. (Reading stories aloud might be comforting too).

Big hugs.

rachylou

Veteran

I'm sorry about your mom. I try to pack as light as possible these days, but for this, I'd go ahead and pack a suitcase to be checked in. I think Angie is right re 10 days of clothing, including something dressy.

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

So sorry to hear this, Jenn. There is lots of excellent advice on the packing here. I just wanted to add my empathy and some hugs.

Karie

(website)

Veteran

So sorry to hear this, Jenn. I was in a similar situation with my father. The advice already given is spot on. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

catgirl

Veteran

Oh, also a shawl or wrap - hospitals can be cold and a wrap can dress up an outfit.

Staysfit

Veteran

Jenn, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I did this twice last year. Once for my step father, and once for my mother-in-law. I packed an easy care capsule and one conservative but nice outfit and shoes, plus some exercise gear. Everything fit in a small carry on style suitcase. I packed layers, and used a raincoat with a zip in warm lining for a coat. I did laundry using my mom's and in-laws Machines. For the capsule, I picked three colors, a neutral and two complements, and everything could mix and match together. You may do a lot of sitting around, so a book or some sort of activity like a book of crosswords or sudoku, might be useful. I had easy access to Internet, if you don't, you may want to bring a tablet with a wifi hotspot.

I highly recommend comfortable clothes. It's unclear what you may need to do to help out. Hospice may be there but they do not do everything, or you and your family may not want them to do certain things. So, I would plan for clothing that is appropriate to wear while doing work - cleaning, cooking, lifting, moving, etc. No one is going to care or notice what you look like but it is nice to feel pulled together. Don't waste too much time on this. Everyone knows why you are there and the circumstances, and they will be glad you are present. Remember that you can always get small items wherever you are, so don't fret about getting it perfect. Focus on being a support for your mom. Sending you love and support and the best wishes for getting through a difficult time.

Isabel

Veteran

I am also very sorry to hear this. I don't think that this is trivial at all. You need some sense of control in this very uncontrollable situation. Your mind also needs to know that it has what it will need when it needs it.

I agree that there is a lot of great advice. I would also recommend a very comfy, warm pair of shoes or slippers. I will be thinking of you and your family.

Elizabeth P

Veteran

Nothing to add, just wanted to say I'm sorry to hear this

Greyscale

Veteran

I'm very sorry you're faced with this.

If the climate and lifestyle are similar to your at-home life, consider packing the last 10 outfits you wore and liked. (If laundry allows!) I always make the packing mistake of trying to plan perfectly put-together outfits that are more fussy than my usual. I end up with nowhere near enough plain tees and easy layers.

Jaime

(website)

Veteran

No packing advice, but warm thoughts and a virtual hug.

Brooklyn

Veteran

Oh, I am so sorry Jenn. I have done this too unfortunately.
Angie gives great advice. Although comfy clothes are a must, I would also take something a little dressy, even if it is only jewellery or a scarf, and take make up. It might help cheer up your mum to see you looking pretty (even if you are feeling completely wrung out).
Besides a kindle, I would take or buy some light reading material - preferably about a topic that interests your mum. It might be a good distraction to flip through a magazine together or read to her. A book might be a little hard going (as there will be interruptions and concentration could be difficult).
I am sending you a cyber hug.

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

I'm really sorry to hear about this; my thoughts are with you. Although I haven't had to pack for something like this, I do relate to the hospice situation as I went through it with my father almost 6 years ago to the day.

You've received great advice. My addition is to keep your color assortment minimal. If it were me I'd focus on navy, white, and an accent color like coral or green. Then everything works together. Of course you will know what color assortment works best for you. I was also thinking you could include a crossword or puzzle book. Sometimes I can't engross in a novel and a puzzle is the perfect 5 or 10 minute distraction.

Anonymous

I've no more advice to offer Jenn, as the other ladies have done you proud, but I want to send you warm wishes and a big hug.

Style Fan

Veteran

Excellent advice here Jenn. I am sending you a big hug and I will be thinking about you.

Helen11

Veteran

Thinking of you, Jenn. It's difficult to pack on short notice, I think, but there are some great tips already. Travel safely.

Anonymous

Jenn, I'm sorry to hear you are facing this. You are hopefully packed and on your way by now, following the wise advice here.

I absolutely agree with others that looking good and having FFBOs on hand can help in feeling emotionally pulled together. But it's okay too if that doesn't happen. I was in a similar situation with a family member 2 years ago. I got the call in a meeting and drove straight to the airport without going home. I had no luggage so wore my Mum's clothing for the week. I looked a fright for a normally fastidious person, but I didn't notice, let alone care. It was a cancer ward, and the best dressed people at the hospital were the staff in scrubs; everyone else was focused on their loved ones too. In my situation there was a funeral, so I had to shop, and ended up in the reverse situation from Joy, spending way too much on an outfit that I got rid of immediately as I couldn't bear to see it in my closet.

Focus on your mother, the love, and the support family can bring. We will be thinking of you.

viva

Veteran

I'm so sorry Jenn. I think this will be my situation before too long.
I don't have too much to add except that I keep thinking about your new dress and if you're going to pack any dresses, I would also pack leggings or ponte pants for a comfortable and warm underlayer to wear with it. (I admit, I am a little obsessed with the dress-over-pants thing at the moment, but still...) I too find hospitals cold, but also I just find that kind of underlayer really comforting to wear. And I think it might be so nice for you to bring a couple of your favorite things (like that dress) so that you feel like yourself and get some joy from putting yourself together. Your mom may get some joy from seeing you that way too.

Best wishes. xxx

Jenn

(website)

Veteran

Thank you all for the warm thoughts and good advice. I'm not leaving until tomorrow, so I still have some time to do laundry and pack carefully.

I'm going to follow Angie's advice and pack mix-and-match variations of the FFBO I've been wearing recently (jeans/joggers/chinos + tee + jacket or cardigan), along with a black skirt and blouse I can dress up or down. As it stands right now, we won't be in a hospital, but layers are a good idea anyway, as we'll set the thermostat to mom's comfort rather than our own.

Special thanks to those who mentioned reading material. I'll be bringing my iPad loaded with iBooks and library loans. I hadn't thought about the need for something lighter like magazines or crosswords, but you're so very right. It can be hard to focus on a novel during such times.