Outdoor wedding event advice eta official belated dress code - YouLookFab Forum

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Outdoor wedding event advice eta official belated dress code

Adelfa

Veteran

I can use some help! My dear cousin's dear son is getting married in a resort venue on the Columbia River in Oregon over the July 4th weekend. I am invited to two events, the rehearsal dinner and the wedding. For some reason, only now am I getting around to thinking about what to wear and I'm a tiny bit stumped.

1. Rehearsal dinner--outdoor barbecue with lawn games to follow. Per the groom, jeans and shorts are okay. I want to avoid the lawn games if possible but be prepared if I must participate. I can wear jeans, Cons, and a graphic tee, but I wonder if I should dress this up just a bit? If so how?

2. The wedding and cocktail hour are outdoors and the terrain is described as "uneven meadow-like." The dinner and dancing are indoors but the structure is not climate controlled. The groom says the temp for the wedding will be around 85F(29C) and the reception will cool to 60F(16C).

I have a cobalt sheath dress that I love but IIRC it is a linen/rayon blend and I don't think will survive being packed in a carry-on. If it could, could I carry a dreaded pashmina? Could I wear a tube skirt with wedges or flat sandals and some kind of top and pashmina or cardi?

I am boring myself to pieces with these ideas. However although it's always nice to look fab, I would settle for 8/10 as long as I'm appropriate and comfy. I don't expect a ton of formality--this is Oregon. I am willing to purchase something for the event, but I need an idea of what I'm going for first!

Thanks so much for helping me brainstorm!!!

Dressing

32 replies

Latest reply was from CocoLion

crutcher

Veteran

For the rehearsal, I would add a topper to the jeans and graphic tee...Maybe dressing up just a bit will keep you from having to participate in lawn games...Maybe sub the Cons for a wedge sandal?...
Do you have a maxi skirt that you could dress up with a soft top and a jacket?...I would wear flat shoes for the outside uneven terrain...Your tube skirt would also work...I just thought longer might give your look a bit more fun...

Aquamarine

Veteran

Hmmm...sounds similar to a wedding I am going to (opposite side of the country otherwise I would wonder if it was the same one!). I will be following this thread closely but I will say I may be wearing a sleeveless sheath dress to the wedding/reception itself UNLESS the weather forecast is drastically colder or wetter. No plan B however, as of yet.

Same type of rehearsal dinner too LOL! I may stick with nice jeans and a nicer top since that's fine with this crowd.

doubleh

Veteran

I have a very similar style wedding coming up at a winery in hunt country, virginia. I imagine the aesthetic is along the same lines. Personally, I am looking for a maxi dress that is a notch above jersey - or a jersey print that isn't a stripe, for this wedding. I went to a similar wedding a few weeks ago in stilettos and poly-rayon dress and I was miserable. It was step-sink. step-sink, step-sink. So, yes, I think your footwear would be fine. (The past wedding the bridesmaids wore cowboy boots.)
For the rehearsal dinner, I might consider a casual jersey dress and cons or cowboy boots or non-dainty sandals.
Have fun! As much as it sounds like I was complaining- I love these rustic weddings!

Suz

(website)

Veteran

The really, really bad subtext here is that you cannot wear your Okalas!!!!!

I think we need to observe a minute of silence here. Mourning is perfectly appropriate at this wedding!!

Okay, now that the bad part is over with, let's consider this a fun challenge. (Easy for me to say, I know. Not my problem.)

I will say that this is the kind of situation I often find myself in -- having to dress in contradictory, inconsistent ways and no opportunity to change for changing weather conditions. All part of the casualization of our lives, I guess. Why can't people just get with the program and realize that a wedding is an opportunity to dress up??? Why dress everything down.....

Wait a minute, I was supposed to be offering helpful advice here.

So. Here is what I would do:

For the rehearsal, I would wear a tube skirt and casual shoes -- a wedge sandal, maybe. A nice top -- something a step up from a tee. And a denim jacket or similar. For me, this would strike the balance between casual and dressier and would possibly make it easier to sit out the games, if that is what you desire. Nobody needs to know that the tube skirt is as comfortable as pyjamas.

If I didn't go that route, I might wear linen trousers, BF style, with a nice linen sweater and wedge heels. Basically, Angie's linen formula from the blog. It looks elegant and a bit dressy but is actually quite casual.

For the wedding itself, I would probably go with one of my jersey Kamalikulture dresses or similar. Easy to pack, easy to wear. And basically no worry dresses -- they are so inexpensive that if something happens to them, no biggie. I would add some kind of topper, maybe my kimono, maybe something warmer. For shoes, again, I'd go with some kind of low-ish wedge if you have it. Forget any heels.

You could wear a tube skirt again -- for sure -- if you had the right top and topper. Best would be if you could concoct a pretend "dress" with the tube skirt and another piece, the way I recently did with my navy tube skirt and navy linen tee.

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Mo

(website)

Veteran

I'd definitely do a sandal instead of Cons for the first event. And if you have a DVF silk jersey dress hiding in the closet, that would be an ideal packable, yet presentable choice for the ceremony itself.
I lived and worked outdoors on a patio setting a restaurant one summer in the Gorge and it can get HOT. but does cool down most nights.

Suz

(website)

Veteran

Oooh. Love the idea of a DVF. Do you wear a wrap, Jody? Maybe now is the time to begin....

Adelfa

Veteran

Love these ideas so much! I have to run for the moment but just want to say that I'm putting every single idea into a spreadsheet--when I feel lost I fire up Excel--thank you!

Nadya

Veteran

You may know this, but in case you don't: the The Columbia Gorge is known for its wind - it's a Mecca for wind surfers. So that 60 could be a very chilly 60 with a brisk wind. Just something to factor in to make sure you have enough layer options to be comfortable. E.g. If I were planning on a dress and a topper, I'd bring a scarf I could add for an extra layer, just on case.

So now we've warned you it can be HOT and it can be COLD :). Hopefully it will be nicely in the middle. Sounds like a fun wedding.

CocoLion

(website)

Veteran

Probably you already know this, but I would suggest a sheath dress with a topper, following one of Angie's suggestions in her recent blog post about "Topper with sleeveless dress -- don't do it -- but here's how." (I think that was my #1 favorite YLF blog headline ever!)

I attended a wedding last year with uneven ground, at 6000 ft elevation so similar hot in the day, cool at night temps. I was fine with even a 3" wedge heel. The wedge really helps in the grass. There is always seating so I didn't tire with an all-day 3" heel. I wore a silky blouse and an ancient pencil skirt, it was not a great but an OK look.

As for the casual rehearsal dinner, what about cons with a tube skirt to make it a bit more chic?

For your carry on I'm thinking:
1 dress
1 jacket/topper (bring 2, carry one on plane)
1 tube skirt
2-4 tops
Shorts & Jeans (wear one of them on plane)
3 pairs shoes total.

Great idea to bring a scarf. If it cools too much at night, remember you can always escape indoors into the non-climate controlled room.

rae

(website)

Veteran

I think you should use the casual context of the rehearsal to wear whatever you will feel great in. The other ladies had great ideas about sandals to avoid the lawn games.

For the wedding, what about wearing lightweight trousers? Maybe the bottoms to your linen suit with a dressy top and bling? Kind of a notch down from a femme tuxedo? Or what ifyou got an inexpensive handheld steamer and wore the cobalt dress after all... I used to have a really easy to pack steamer I could fill in the sink, smaller than a hair dryer. You could wear your leather moto at night.

Firecracker (Sharan)

Veteran

I'm just reading and soaking up the ideas, because I'm totally confounded by situations like these. And I had to laugh when I read, "when I feel lost, I fire up Excel!" hahahhaha! My husband can solve anything in Excel. It's a major struggle for me to set up anything in the program, let alone solve anything with it. [confused face here]

Adelfa

Veteran

Crutcher, I love the idea of dressing so the lawn games won't work--my cousin's sons are all expert ultimate frisbee players! And soccer! I also love the idea of a maxi.

Aquamarine, there's something irresistible about a sleeveless sheath, isn't there? I love mine. I agree a nice top might be better for the night before.

doubleh, I love your idea of soft dresses. If I decide to shop for this event, that is what I'll be looking for. After all, it's a wedding! Also, dying for a pair of cowboy boots!

Suz, you hit the nail on the head!!! I think not being able to wear my Okalas, my automatic outfit makers, was the source of 90% of my stuckness! I love the idea of a denim jacket/tube skirt combo. I wonder if my citron split neck top would be TMGO.... also love the idea of the linen ensemble. Do you think a linen sweater would be cool enough in the 85 degree heat? A tube skirt "dress" is a great idea, too.

Mo, you're right, a sandal is better! And you're making me think I should sooner or later acquire the perfect wrap dress to have on hand for these things!

Nadya, it's been a while--you are so right! Thanks for the reminder!

Denise, I love your suggestions and especially the packing list! I have a thing for packing lists, they are like a tranquilizer to me!

Rae, I didn't even know there *were* small handheld steamers.... now there's an idea! I do feel good in that cobalt sheath dress.

Adelfa

Veteran

Firecracker, you should see my pretty wedding spreadsheet! It tells me so many things. For instance, graphic tee and Cons are probably too casual for the rehearsal dinner. Also, I should probably wear a dress (or fake dress) of some type to the wedding.

I truly loved everybody's ideas. They got me out of that stuck place and got my brain moving. Thank you, all!

Adelfa

Veteran

So I just talked to the mother of the groom, my cousin. She informs me that her son shared that the dress code is "Country elegant"!!! Oh my goodness. I'll have to think about that for a while!

rae

(website)

Veteran

Hmmm... cobalt dress with a denim jacket? Or western-inspired booties? Or both? Your Sigerson booties might be fun.

Caro

You say its in Oregon and not too formal... have you thought about going for something like a maxi dress that you could put a cute leather (or jean) jacket over if you get chilly in the evening? You could wear it with a pair of comfy wedge sandals which are easier to walk on the uneven terrain but still have the look of a heel. The maxi dress could cover your legs for the chilly evening, but is light and flowy enough to not be too hot during the day. With some pretty hair and makeup, it could be a nice look for an outdoor summer wedding IMO...

Karie

(website)

Veteran

I didn't read the other responses yet, I will go back and do that when I have more time - but for now, here are my suggestions as I just attended a casual outdoor wedding on Cape Cod (the rehearsal dinner was indoors).

Although the invitation said to dress casually, everyone had a slightly dressy vibe. I was going to wear dressy ankle pants to the rehearsal dinner but everyone I saw prior to the dinner was wearing a casual dress, so I did a quick switcheroo and wore the "spare" casual dress I had brought. If you have a tube skirt/any casual skirt or casual dress, I would wear that. It would work for both the rehearsal dinner and the wedding, although every woman I saw at the wedding was wearing a casual dress, not a skirt.

Wear wedge sandals. Mine had a regular heel and I wished they were wedges, as wedges won't sink in the grass. A thick heel will also work. I put a pic of the SE Trina's in "Finds." I didn't find these in time, but if I had, I would have worn those. Here's a link to what I wore for the events:
http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....er-and-fun

Sam Edelman Trina

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Stripe basket-weave dress

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Suz

(website)

Veteran

"Country elegant."

Hah!

That would mean completely different things in different parts of the country.

Well, I'm sort of at a loss. If it were me, I would wear wedge heeled sandals for sure. Apart from that? Heaven only knows.

kkards

Veteran

gingham dress and pearls?

i don't know, but i think if you can channel your inner rachylou, you'll come up with the perfect outfit.

Elizabeth P

Veteran

Well, for the wedding, I'm going to suggest the EF drape neck dress, if you want to do some shopping Easy to dress up to whatever level you feel appropriate, will travel well, and you'll wear it forever.

For the rehearsal, I think wedge sandals would be perfect. Cons are screaming "I wanna play!" I also think you should think about dressing up a bit more than jeans and a tee. Jeans and a silk(y) top? Linen sweater? the people who's style I admire the most are those people who are always dressed about half a notch better than others, but still appropriate.

Eileen Fisher Drape Front Shift Dress

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JAileen

Veteran

My interpretation of country elegant : Don't wear a silk suit. Also, don't wear denim cutoffs.

I think if you look nice, aren't too too dressy, and wear shoes that work for the terrain, you'll be fine. In my opinion a dress code is so people know what to expect and don't feel uncomfortable. If country is in your DNA, wear a denim jacket, otherwise don't sweat it. Pretend you never heard country elegant and just go for elegant.

Several years ago we went to a wedding in an old silver mining town. I think the history was used somehow in the wedding. None of the guests wore any kind of "costume" though. Because it was so hot, I wore a very lightweight but elegant cotton dress, and dressy sandals, and felt very appropriate.

rachylou

Veteran

60F is pretty uncomfortable in my book. Boy, I'd be tempted just to wear a pants suit...

Debbie

Veteran

I have the EF draped neck dress and I think you would look fabulous at any event in it. You can dress it up or down. This wedding sounds like a typical Tx event.

chadya

Veteran

wedding reception in a non a/c room
that would not go over well in New Jersey

Jules

Veteran

I'm with JAiLeen - I have just about no western/country influence in my wardrobe and would not be stressing to come up with one. I'd interpret it only as a formality guideline, and I think you were already heading in the right direction there. Although a jean jacket is a good general suggestion in that vein, I don't think I'd wear one to the reception except as a late-night topper (you know, once the ties and heels - and rules - are off). It'd probably do fine for the Friday night events though, and "cover" you in the event it does quite chilly later Saturday night.

Mo

(website)

Veteran

Interesting. I didn't read country to be country western, but rather outdoors, grass, in the country, not city. Hmm.

Jules

Veteran

I would tend to agree Mo, but what does that specifically mean in terms of dress? To me, not much that Adelfa hasn't already considered in terms of practicality, formality, etc.. Sometimes I think these made-up dress codes create more confusion than clarity!

As an aside, I actually did get invited to a country or western-themed Jack and Jill once, less than an hour from my home, and several people were wearing denim on denim, boots, and so on. As a city girl with no interest in country music, it just had not occurred to me to dress that way. And I kept waiting for them to put on the "real music", lol. Made me realize my own bias/perspective. I clearly have no idea what "country" means in Oregon since I don't know what it means here

Rambling Ann

(website)

Veteran

Sounds like an opportunity for a great hat. It can skew country, elegant or casual, and dress up/down just about anything already in the closet. Put some flowers on it in the bridal colors and it could be spectacular, just right for family but not the immediate family.

rachylou

Veteran

Hmm. I don't think country western first when I hear *country* either. I think English countryside, to be honest. I divide up *country western* into Nashville, Appalachian, Willies, etc. And boy, I have no idea what country elegant means in the context of Oregon.

I think I'd go for a striped seersucker pantsuit and a giant pearl choker. That should cover all bases, yes?

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