Out of batteries with the holidays yet to go-- why I've been MIA

Elly

Thought I would drop in and just let everyone know why I haven't been on the board much.

In late September I had posted about a job offer. I ended up taking the contract, so I was out of town for two months----- without internet access.

I was back for less than a week when I got another, albeit shorter, out-of-town contract.

On monday morning I found out that my grandmother who was unexpectedly diagnosed with leukemia this June had passed away. Her services were today, less than a day after I completed the job.

Unfortunately, I am having a very hard time finding the energy or motivation to kick my behind into gear and finish preparing for the holidays.

I also haven't seen my SO for more than a day and a half in more than 3 months. I would very much like to escape to his house and abandon ship, and Christmas . . . .

Sincerely,

Trying to Get Back into the Swing of Things

13 years ago

Off Topic

12 replies

Latest reply was from Elly

ManidipaM

Veteran

Hugs, Elly! It's clearly been a difficult year.

I hope you can find some time with loved ones around you to spend the holidays --- all of the warmth and togetherness, minus the stress of holiday prep.

Is it at all possible to quite literally abandon ship and say, go away with your SO to a small out-of-town holiday of your own, to somewhere nobody knows you and can expect nothing from you?

Alternatively, can you possibly let near and dear ones know that you just aren't up to the 100-watt celebration this year and dial the prep back for a more low-key holiday season?

I hope you can find some time to recharge those batteries and recover, both on your own and along with your SO.

13 years ago

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Oh, sweet Elly. I'm so sorry about your Granny's passing and wish you strength. You've had a hard year and I hope with all my heart that 2013 provides a fresh and healthy start.

So, I was thinking the same as Manidipa. Can you take your fur babies over to SO's house and lay low for a while?

13 years ago

Anonymous

Sorry about your grandmother. I think sometimes we have to selfish to re-group and you have to, this holiday season. I suggest what the others said, dial it way back or skip all together , somewhere away. Is that possible? Would your families understand?

13 years ago

Caro in Oz

Veteran

So sorry about your grandmother. A is right look after yourself.

13 years ago

Classically Casual

Veteran

A couple of weeks ago here in the U.S. I watched a Rick Steves program (he's a travel guide) that he'd filmed about Christmas holiday celebrations in various western European countries. The themes that seemed consistent were simplicity, family centered, quiet celebrations. Gift giving was a very minimal part. It was more about candlelight & togetherness during the darkest time of the year. I hope the images he presented were accurate...I've been making an attempt this year to spend my time & energy differently.

Perhaps you can carve out some healing time to spend with your SO, and just let some things slide this year.

13 years ago

Elly

Veteran

I actually managed to finish the gifts I was supposed to make today, which is good.

I really wish I could just call off the holiday and enjoy it with loved one's. My SO is very low-key and has very little family in our area. Unfortunately, he works over the holidays so he only has the 22-23 off and then the 29th, 30, and 31st off (which are his normal weekends). He has a small event on the 24th, but I don't believe I'm expected to attend.

Unfortunately, since I've been out of town I gave up my place, so I am staying with my folks for the holidays. My mother, who works up through the 21st, has invited the rest of my family to our house for the holidays at the last minute. With my grandma being ill our house is in quite a state (most of her keepsakes have moved into our tiny house, in addition to general neglect while everyone was busy). She has asked me to decorate and bake and get the house put together, but it is just overwhelming to get it accomplished in the next 3-5 days.

13 years ago

ManidipaM

Veteran

Oh, that does sound overwhelming, Elly! No chance of making this a potluck, so you can concentrate on the clean-up instead? Wouldn't visiting family understand, in the circumstances? Is there perhaps a single close family member in the extended bunch who you could confide in, who might make the suggestion to the others --- if you're worried about sounding rude or putting them off?

If not, I like what CC says --- keep things simple. The house just needs to be just *reasonably* neat and clean. It doesn't have to be Santa's grotto, especially not in the circumstances. Low lighting can be pretty forgiving of mirrors that aren't shiny and banisters not dusted. Rather than hang stuff up and spend hours trimming the tree, maybe just make small piles of ornaments or baubles to use as centerpieces on tables and mantles. Leave the tree minimal. And maybe have a box of ornaments hanging around if visiting family, especially kids, would like to have a go at decorating. Make a game of it for them and save yourself some pressure.

Likewise with the food. Streamline the menu till it is manageable without too much hands-on time and effort from you. If some things can be bought to save a little prep, so be it.

Also, very important: get the heck away to your SO's as soon as you can. Make sure you're not missing time with him on the 22-23 in order to do last-minute stuff around the house. It won't be the end of the world and it will do you a world of good.

13 years ago

bj1111

Veteran

elly, don't force yourself to do anything. cycling down is normal especially after the year you've had. short circuiting this cycle will just prolong it. i'm assuming you won't wallow, so just cut yourself some slack.

big big hugs. i'll be working all next week so just in case you want some company...i'll be "here".

13 years ago

Jenava

(website)

Veteran

Elly, I hope you get some time to relax and re-connect with you life. It sounds like you deserve a few days off with SO, Christmas or not!

Can you plan the time now so you have something to look forward to to get you through?

13 years ago

Elly

Veteran

Thanks ladies--

Angie and Mandipa, the kind words meant a lot to me.

Mandipa, Jeneva, and BJ-- I think your completely right. I really do need a break, I never really got a proper one after being out of town working for two months and new issues keep piling up. Having only a day or two here or there isn't refreshing enough after all the stress and running around, which is probably why I feel like I do.

I managed to recruit a little help from my mother and father (huge shocker) and we got some of the basic and minimal decorating done. I tackled the shopping, so I just have to finish the cleaning, bake (I've cut it down to 2 goodies, better for me and everyone's waistline!), and cook over the next three days. My father, who recently lost his mother insists he is fine, but then turns around and is acting quite upset about the guests. Originally we were going to ask my SO to join the family for Christmas Eve or Christmas so he didn't have to spend it alone, but now my father has made him feel unwelcome and vetoed inviting him, which is sad because the rest of the family wouldn't mind meeting him. Unfortunately, I won't get to see my SO unless he stops in for an hour one day, but hopefully I will have a long New Year's weekend with him.

Thanks so much, and BJ-- I may be on the boards and take you up on an opportunity to escape the craziness a bit.

13 years ago

Angie

(website)

Fashion Stylist

Well done, Elly! Your spirit never ceases to amaze me

13 years ago

Elly

Veteran

Thanks Angie! Hope your having a lovely holiday with my second favorite yorkie, Greg, and your Pops!

13 years ago

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